The Sinister Six Promo to Ice vs Red

Iceman vs Red Promo

Classic Sinister Six Epilouge

Narrator: Not to far off on an isolated location our heroes meet to discuss the terms of Red. Their most devious and most powerful opponent up to date. Even though the last battle with Red only delayed the process*, Gauntlet had discovered a plan to end Red's rein once and for all.

*Year Of The FoX

Andon: This plan is very risky Gauntlet. There's no telling that Gary will return.

Gauntlet: True, but the risk is well worth the play to end Red's plan of global domination.

Ben: Yes. I'm afraid not even The X-Force would be a match for him. Now. The best place to strike is when Red is at his weakest.

*Note: Ben's team was destroyed by Red in 21XX, and now Ben's soul was transfered over to Heatman of the Wily's Warriors.

Gary: You sure this won't effect me at all in the present time if I destroy Red in the past?

Andon: *getting the machine ready* Indeed my Parka wearing friend. Red doesn't have his god-like powers at this moment in time. So his curse on how both of you are interconnected won't be placed yet.

Gauntlet: Right. From what you told me Gary, he was banished back through time after an accident in Dr. Light's lab. If you can go back in time where Red is, and destroy him off before he can get these powers, all should seem well in the present.

Ben: The question is where in time was Red sent?

Andon: Gary said the dawn of time. But that doesn't make any sense.

Gary: How's that?

Andon: Back then there weren't enough souls to consume except for prehistoric life forms. Their strength made them great, but Red seemed all to smart for absourbing Dinosaur and Cave People souls. I think Red had been transported in a more well populated era. With millions of intellegent life forms.

Gauntlet: I agree. All kinds of different kinds of souls to eat and absourb. A place where people die everyday.

Gary: A place of wide open space. Millions of places to visit...

Ben: A very hostile place also. Danger at every corner. (The Computer had finished its dialosus and the four figures said at the same time what the computer had outputed where Red had been transported a long time before)

Ben, Gary, Andon, Gauntlet: The Star Wars Universe.

Gauntlet: *starting up the time machine* That place is just booming with activity.

Andon: Which explains how Red got so powerful. He ate souls of millions of deaths that had occured during that time peroid.

Gary: Any you guys been there before?

Ben: Hell no.

Andon: Afriad not my friend.

Ben: Though I'd like to try out one of those B-Wings myself.

Gauntlet: If they exist during this period of the Star Wars Timeline.

Gary: I've never been a Star War Lingo fanatic....what's a B-Wing? Is it like a Hot Wing you get at Hooters?

(Everyone falls over)

Ben: Do you know what a Ewok is?

Gary: Nope, doesn't ring a bell.

Gauntlet: Do you know what species Jabba The Hutt is?

Gary: Nadda.

Andon: Do you have any idea what time zone this peroid takes place?

Gary: ...............

Ben: I don't think anyone knows that Andon.

Andon: Oh...

Gauntlet: Gary's gonna need a Star Wars guide, or he won't know a Chewbacca from a 3CPO.

Gary: Great...isn't there anyone who can help me through this? (At that moment Searchman comes riding through the doors)

Sparky: Howdey folks! Lucky for you, the Star Wars Freak is here!

Gary: The leader of the Robotic Raiders eh? Finally you made it into one of these Epilouges.

Sparky: No kidding greedy ass sons of a ...anyways, if you're going back in time. You'll be heading down the path of Episode 2.

Gary: Episode 2?

Andon: I think he means the 2nd chapter of Star Wars Gary.

Gary: Oh...*looks confused*

Gauntlet: I'm no buff of this series either, but from what I hear Chapter 2 is really ugly with lots of deaths and battles.

Sparky: Exactly! That my friend is a feeding frenzy for Red.

Gauntlet: Hmmm...if you can somehow defeat Red before this....

Sparky: Clone Wars!

Gauntlet: Right...if you can beat Red before this Clone Wars takes place, then you may stand more of a fighting chance.

Gary: What if I just went back to the point before Red even placed that curse?

Andon: Afraid not my Eskmio Friend. He placed that curse to far into the's tough enough that I can get you this far.

Gauntlet: Andon's right. This Time Machine is greatly damaged. Once we send you into the past, you have to get back on your own. The Machine will be destroyed.

Gary: How do I get back?

Andon: *hands Gary a green crystal* This crystal has enough energy for one unit of time travel. ONce you've destroyed Red, you can simply use your teleporation chip along with this crystal to get you back.

Ben: However, if you screw up and comeback without defeating Red, you won't get another chance again.

Andon: Which is why this trip is risky. You have only once chance.

Gary: Great...

Sparky: Well, Andon said that only three people can go on this trip. I know Gary and I are the selected few. Whose the third?

Ben: Gary's gonna have to pick someone with raw power if he hopes to survive the dangers of this world.

Gauntlet: Or someone with the know how on cheating and finding fast and easy shortcuts!

Andon: Or someone who has the brains to get out of any situation.

Gauntlet, Ben, Andon: So who is it Gary?

(A figure walks into the room)

Gary: Scott.

(Everyone falls over)

Scott: What?

Sparky: Why him! Of all people!?

Gary: Well, a man's gotta eat right? I know one thing about Star Wars. Their foods gotta be different than ours. Scott can be pretty useful.

Ben: *sweat drops* Always thinking with his stomach...

(Moments later Gary, Sparky and Scott are placed into the Time Machine)

Gauntlet: Remember, once you've left our dimention, you'll lose all contact with us.

Sparky: Right.

Andon: Off you guys go then. We'll remain here until your safe return.

Ben: *flips a switch and the Time Machine vanishes in a mist of smoke*


*A cork pops off a bottle*

Gauntlet: Whoooo Hoooo!! Finally he's gone!

Andon: No more pranks! No more Pranks! *takes a sip of his lemonade*

Ben: I'll drink to that fellas! *clangs his bottle with Gauntlet's*

*The smoke clears and the Time Machine still remains where it was*

Sparky: Ummm...guys. We're still here. Remember it takes about 20 seconds for the thing to move.

Gauntlet, Ben, Andon: 0.0

Gary: BEN! I thought we were pals!

Ben: *looking nervous* We were just celebrating your soon to come victory...yeah...that's it. *looks to the others for support*

Gauntlet: *hiding his bottle* Ummm...right.

(At that moment a large flash brightned the room and the Time Machine is gone)


Ben: *whispering to Andon* Think they really gone this time...?

Andon: *whispering back* Looks like it.

Gauntlet: Well then...onward with the celebration...of Iceman's victory. *looks around*

(another cork pops and they laugh)

Ben: *whispering* No more pranks...*bottles up*


*meanwhile in the Star Wars Universe*

Obiwan: *asleep in his bed* I sence a disturbace in force! Nooo!!

Anakin: *walking in* It's just me you ass whipe. I got breakfast.

Obiwan: Ahh...that's what I smelled. The usuaul I take.

Anakin: Yup. Scrambled Eggs with Demesion Stu.

Obiwan: So my young padawan, how's Padme doing this morning?

Anakin: *with a grin on his face* She's taking a shower master...

Obiwan: ANAKIN! You didn't...

Anakin: What? Me? Master, you should have more trust in your number one student.

Obiwan: *looks at him with puzzlement* How did she look?

Anakin: *licks his lips* To die for Master.

Obiwan: *pats Anakin's shoulder* You're learning my fine young apprientice!

(Meanwhile right outside the complex a flash of light occurs)

Gary: Alright! That's the last time I let you borrow my barfing bag Scott!

Scott: I get time machine sick damnit!

Sparky: QUIET! The both of you. We're here. Don't want to cause attention to ourselves...*he looks around* Guys? Guys? GUYS!!

*Iceman is checking out the speeders by the entrance way while Scott is looking down from his high perch*

Scott: Whoah...*almost looses his balance but Sparky catchs him*

Sparky: WATCH WHAT YOU'RE DOING MAN! *he lowers his voice* You trying to get us all killed! We look so out of place here...

Gary: Relax Search. *checking out a white speeder* I know what I'm doing...*an alarm goes off* Uh...oh.

Sparky: Great...

(Meanwhile inside)

Obiwan: I here it too! It's coming from outside.

(Anakin is already on his way outside)

Obiwan: I hate it when he does that...

Gary: *is sitting inside the speeder* Whoah...check out all these buttons and controls.


Anakin: Stealing That speeder! Okay You've been caught.

Scott: Cool! A Jedi Knight!

Gary: A what? A Inline Flight? All aboard! *Gary starts the engine*

*Scott hops in followed by Sparky*

Sparky: That's no ordinary Jedi Knight...that's Anakin Skywalker himself!

(Anakin lights his light sabre and charges at the speeder)

Scott: *screams with his mouth wide open*

Gary: Hmmmm...I wonder what this does.

*Iceman pushes it and it shakes*

Sparky: Maybe you'd better let me drive...

*he attempts the controls*

Gary: *looks at Sparky meanfully* Don't ever do that again...

Sparky: Alright...alright...JUST GET US OUT OF HERE!!

(The Speeder ammeditly lifts off and flys away from Anakin's burning Sabre)

Obiwan: Use the Force Anakin. He can't get far if you use the Force.

Anakin: Yes Master. Care to join me Master?*He hops into a yellow speeder*

Obiwan: I'm sure Padme will be safe while we are gone. *he hops into the passanger seat*

Padme: *gets attacked from behind*


Obiwan: Just be sure to....*The speeder is ammeditly flying off* BE CAREFUL ANAKIN!!

(Iceman flys around traffic at a close distance unaware that he's being followed)

Sparky: That was!! WATCH WHAT YOU'RE DOING!

Gary: Hey...this isn't like driving a race car you know...*tilts the control stick and they go flying in circles*

Scott: I think I'm going to be sick...


Gary: Wheeeee! More circles. *He tilts the controls even more waving through traffic and pissing people off*

Alien: *speaking swears in his language*

Obiwan: This guy doesn't seem to be from around here. Though his skills at flying are quite impressive.

Anakin: Not impressive enough master. Watch this. *Anakin tilts the controls and now he's flying right over Iceman*

Obiwan: Good work my young padawan, now to get in close.

Sparky: *looking around and noticing the pursuit* Iceman! They are following us!

Gary: They are eh? Makes things a little more exciting.

Sparky: What are you gonna do...*starts to panic*

(Iceman comes to a complete stop as Anakin and Obiwan fly right past them)

Anakin: What the!? *Anakin turns ammeditly around*

Gary: Alright, now let's go up. *Iceman turns the vechicle upwards and starts racing for the sky*

Scott: *mouth fluttering around* Aaaaaaaaahhh AAAAhhhhhh!!

Sparky: You'll get us...all!!!

Obiwan: Anakin...he'll more than likely kill himself. What he's doing is suicide!

Anakin: I donno Master...He's doing stunts a 2 year old can perform. *Anakin follows in hot persuit*


Anakin: Relax Master, I know what I'm doing.

(Both speeders fly at an enorumus height, Iceman changes heights and goes down, but can't seem to shake off Anakin)

Gary: Damnit! He won't leave me alone!

Sparky: If you've seen Episode 2, you'll know that you'll never escape Anakin Skywalker...

Scott: *still trying to catch his breath*

Gary: Oh yeah...we'll he never met me...*Iceman starts speeding as fast as the craft can go*

Sparky: I just want this all to end....please...

Anakin: *speeds after him*

Obiwan: WE need to get back to Padme! Forget these clowns...let them kill themselves.

Anakin: Alright Master. You're right. *Anakin stops chasing them and turns around*

Obiwan: You're actually listening my young friend...good.

Sparky: He stopped chasing us...I don't belive it.


Sparky: But he's "the" Anakin Skywalker...

Gary: Just whose side are you on anyway? *Gary flys away from the crowds* Now to find Red.

Obiwan: Alright Anakin, we are almost there, so...

Anakin: If you'll excuse me Master...*he jumps off the speeder*

Obiwan: He'd better not make a habit of this...

*Anakin falls down the crowded sky until he passes all the cars and lands on Iceman's speeder*

Gary: What the F*** was that?

Scott: He found us!

*Anakin lights his light sabre and slashes the craft*

Gary: I just got this thing pollished damnit!


Gary: So...I should light up on the sarcasm...

Anakin: *slashes again and brings the craft down on the streets below*

*Various Alien races get out of the way as the craft finally comes to a complete stop*

Alien: *yelling swears in his language*

Anakin: *standing over the reckage* Okay, enough. Come with me Thief. NOW!

Sparky: *gets out* Okay, you caught us. We'll come quietly...

Gary: *sucker punchs Anakin and grabs Scott and Sparky* I ain't goin' anywhere punk! *takes off*

Anakin: Bastard! Everyone knows not to hit such a beautiful face! It's War!! *just as he was about to take off he was interupted by Obiwan*

Obiwan: ANAKIN! Calm down! Use the Force...


Obiwan: He didn't!? Everyone knows not to hit you above your shoulders!! Impossible!

Anakin: *takes off after them*

Obiwan: *throws his Jedi Handbook* Won't be needing this now.

*meanwhile on a nearby building*

Gary: The signal is coming from here.

Scott: *ding*!

Gary: You found Red!?

Scott: Nope, cupcakes are done!

Gary: *smashes them over his head* I"m looking for Red! Not having a snack! *looks at Sparky* what the heck is the matter with you!?

Sparky: You hit Anakin in the face...

Gary: So?

Sparky: Everyone knows you never hit him in the face...


Sparky: *grabs Gary by the collar* You really don't know shit about Star Wars Do you!?

*it was then a sound of a light sabre came to the three*

Sparky: *drops the tiny Eskimo* Oh's him.

Anakin: YOU!!!!!!!


Anakin: You'll pay for what you've done! *approachs Iceman with glowing white sabre*

Gary: What you going to do? Hit me with your glow stick?

Anakin: *swings and slashes Iceman's head clean off*

Sparky and Scott: Oh my gawd...

Gary: *head rolls around on the ground* ALRIGHT! THAT'S IT!! *his head rolls up to Anakin's foot and bites it*

Anakin: What the hell?! *tries to slash the head but ends up slicing off one of his toes* AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!

Gary: How do you like them apples Jedi Fart!? *his body screws his head back on*

Anakin: *swings his sabre at Iceman again*

Gary: *dodges* That trick only works once pal...*grabs Anakin's hands*

Anakin: You are quite worthy...*kicks Iceman away using the force*

Sparky: Shit! Gary's going to get creamed! We gotta stop this fight!

Scott: Looks like he's fairing pretty well if you ask me.

Sparky: Well...nobody asked you!

Gary: *is flown to the back wall*

Anakin: Pathetic. Can't believe you even want to challenge a Jedi Knight.

Gary: You can be the Queen of England for all I're going down! *gets up*

*Gary continues his assualt on Anakin, getting blown back by The Force and suffering several slashes from his light sabre, however Gary kept coming back for more*

Gary: *fires off Ice Slashers at Anakin only to have them reflected off his Light Sabre*

Anakin: *catchs his breath* Don't you ever die!! *throws Iceman again using the Force*

Gary: It's Mallet Time! *takes out mallet and teleports behind Anakin*

Anakin: Where'd he go now? *slashes a full circle*

Gary: *jumps just barly missing the sabre and lands on Anakin's back* Piggy back ride bastard!

Anakin: Ufffff.. *slashes upwward*

*Gary's mallet is shaved in half*

Gary: *watchs Mallet fall to the floor slowly* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! *slow motion*

Sparky: Whoah...nobody has ever stopped Gary's Mallet Death Strike...

Anakin: *grabs Iceman from his back and throws him to the ground with Light Sabre pointing to his throat* Had enough?

Gary: Not really...*uses his robot legs and trips Anakin*

Sparky: Enough Gary! You're way outmatched!

Anakin: *gets up* Grrrrrrr...*is unable to move* What the!?

Gary: *is unable to move* Hey! What gives!?

*Both Scott and Sparky are unable to move*

Anakin: Obiwan!? Is that you!?

Obiwan: Yes, my young apprentise. I sence we are wasting our time.

Anakin: Wasting our time, Master!? What -

Obiwan: These three are not assasins. I've never seen ...... droids ..... like these before. But they clearly have nothing to do with us or our plot. And now the REAL assasin is gone and Amadala is in grave danger. We must go.

Sparky: Wait! We'll help!

Anakin: YOU!?

Obiwan: They kept you busy enough.

Anakin: But ....

Sparky: Ah, quit whining, Vader.

Anakin: Hunh?

(And so Sparky, Ice, and Bomb team up with the two Jedi. They speed towards Amadala's room just in time to see a female changeling armor and a man wearing silvery armor.)

Bounty Hunter: They're here!

Amadala: Anakin!

Anakin: Amadala!

Obiwan: Who are you!?

Sparky: Oh, it's Jango Fett! Father of Boba Fett! Wow, this is great!

Jango: What!? How do you know about Boba!? Who are you!?

Anakin: Worry more about yourself!

(The six allies face off against the two bounty hunters. In such close quarters and with the robot master's unusual abilities the hunters fall and are captured by the Jedi. And so, Iceman and his team are taken to see Yoda and Mace Windu, leaders of the Jedi high council to see what they know.......)

Gary: ........"Luke ..... I AM your FATHER!"

Windoo: I don't believe it.

Obiwan: And ...... I die?

Scott: But there's more!

Yoda: Unbeleiveable this is! And on your world entertainment this is!?

Scott: Yep.

Anakin: I can't believe it. I'd never betray the Jedi! NEVER!

Sparky: Oh, about that. Palpatine is the hidden leader of the Sith. And - get this - they've already BUILT the clone army you're debating!

Anakin: But .... he's a good man.

Obiwan: They were right about your mother. We didn't get there in time to save her, but ......


Gary: Wow. This'll totally negate the rest of the movie.

Yoda: From us, something you want I sence.

Gary: Yeah ...... actually we're kinda worried about this guy. Red. He's supposed to be around here, but...... Well, he's a living machine, like me. In fact we're practically the same person! I really need to find him.....

Yoda: Hm. Come closer and perhapes help the force can.

(Iceman approaches the old Jedai and sits before him. Yoda places his hands on Iceman and reaches far into the galaxy. His forehead creases as he probes some more and then ..... )

Yoda: Found him, I have! And ..... senses ME he does!

(Just then in a blaze of fire, Iceman Red appears!)

Red: What's going on!? What happened? I.....

(Red's eyes lock with Ice's)

Red: Who ...... are you?

Gary: You mean ...... you don't know?

Red: Know what?


Red: I know that you look like me .... except blue. I ....... felt you. Out there. I've been so ...... alone. I don't understand. Why do you look like I do? Who are you?

Gary: I'm ....... I'm Iceman! And you're Iceman Red! Dr.Light created you before he created me!

Red: What!? Iceman ...... Red? It sounds right. But, I've never seen you before in my life.

Gary: But ..... you......

(Gary grabbs his double, shaking him in confusion.)

Gary: You're RED! You eat souls! They give you power! You've come here to eat the souls lost in the clone wars .... but we've prevented all that! You'll never rise to power and you'll never destroy humanity!

Red: I ..... I'd never do ANY of that! ........ You're hurting me. Stop.

Gary: But!

(Suddennly the two are separated. Mace Windoo eyes both robots with steady eyes.)

Windoo: It appears more has changed than you thought.

Gary: I don't get it.......

Red: Why do you hate me so much? I don't know of what you're talking about! I came here because I thought we were the same!

Gary: I.......

Yoda: Change time you have. With clone wars avoided, evil Red has not turned.

Obiwan: I believe master Yoda is correct. I sence no evil in this being.

Red: Please ......... you can tell me ....... who am I? I've wondered ....... for so long. Am I really ...... that bad?

Gary: You're .......


Gary: You're my brother. And, no. You're really not bad at all.

Scott: So ..... the mission's over?

Sparky: Then we can go home! Red's good now!

Red: I'll get to see my home!?


Gary: Uh ....... Red. I'm sorry, but this crystal doesn't have that kind of power. It has enough for us three. Once and only once.

Red: Then ...... then stay here! We can still be together!


Gary: I can't. I'd like to, but I have responsibilities at home. Friends.

Red: .......

Gary: But don't worry! You'll live to see me again! And this time ..... this time I know we'll be friends!

Red: I'd like that.

Obiwan: In the meantime, may I suggest that the young robot stay with us? He may not be able to become a Jedi, but I'm sure he can be of help.

Yoda: Stay with us ...... he can.

Red: I'll miss you, Ice.

Gary: I'll miss you too, Red. And, hey! Call me Gary!

Red: Goodbye ..... Gary!

(And, confident of their success, Sparky, Scott, and Gary all return home.)

(Back at Sinister Six headquarters only a few hours have passed when Gary and company have returned!)

Ben: I was like ..... aw, nuts. They're back.

Gary: Well, don't seem too dissappointed.

Gauntlet: So, did it work? Is Red dead? You're back safe and sound so I can assume he must be!

Andon: *hrumph* really, you shouldn't sound so pleased.....

Sparky: Well, not exactly. It was actually kinda funny!

Scott: Never had so much fun spoiling a movie!

Gary: Wait. "Is Red dead?" Why would you ask something like that?

Ben: Why? Because Red is pure evil!

Andon: ...... and if you had succeeded we wouldn't be able to remember any of it. Would we?


Scott: I'm confused.

Sparky: But, -

Andon: Hey, I'm getting a message from Jason! He's spotted City Garage and wants our help!

Gauntlet: Ah, go get him, Ice. Whatever happened to the mission beating up Garage'll make you feel better!

Gary: Maybe you're right.

Scott: Sinsiter Six ..... REUNITE!!!!

To be continued... In Ice VS Red