By: Gauntlet (could've fooled ya!)
(The scene opens on what passes for breakfast at the Mechanical Maniac's warehouse...)
Top: What do robots eat anyway?
Snake: I dunno. Never really thought about it.
Top: I wonder if robots have to eat...
Needle: I eat oatmeal!
Snake: Yeah, we know...
Gemini: Alright, breakfast is ready!
Gauntlet: So, what's fer breakfast?
Gemini: SCRAMBLED EGGS AND A SLICE OF TOAST!
...
Gauntlet: Can't we have a real breakfast fer once?
Top: Remember, we're poor!
Gauntlet: Yeah, yeah. (Not if I could help it...)
(The Maniacs eat their breakfast.)
Gauntlet: Y'know I think we're losing sight of our goal here.
Top: Making money?
Snake: Owning all the world's snakes?
Spark: Rebuilding Gamma?
Needle: Finding a cheap, reliable life insurance policy?
Spark: ?
Needle: What? Some of us worry about the future.
Hard: nnnnnnnnnhhhhhh!
Gauntlet: Yes, all of those are very good goals but I think with all the crime fighting and the bickering, we are losing sight of the actual goal! Taking over the world! All this is for that one thing right?
Gemini: Ohhhhh...yyyyeeeaaahhhhhhhhhh...
Top: We're just doing that for fun!
Hard: nnnnnnnnnhhhhhh!
Gauntlet: Well, I just found something you'll all find very interesting...
(Gauntlet whips out a newspaper.)
The Rest: Hm?
Gauntlet: As you can all see, the article clearly shows that one of the Dragon Balls have been found!
Spark: Dragon Balls aren't real...
Gauntlet: (Twirling his Nyoi-Bo) Well apparently they are! So if we find all 7 magical Dragon Balls...
Gemini: We can ask the Dragon to give us the world!
Hard: nnnnnnnnnhhhhhh!
Gauntlet: Exactly! Foreseeing this, I constructed 7 Dragon Radars for all of us!
Top: How'd you do that?
Gauntlet:...Hey guy! Relax! Don't worry about it, trust me!
Top:...
Gauntlet: Wellllllllll, since I did make the radars, and there are only 7 Dragon Balls, I suppose I'll just stay here while the rest of you...
Spark: Oh-ho no! You're coming with me!
Gauntlet: I did my fair share already!
Spark: Yer comin'!
(The Mechanical Maniacs take public transportation to 7 different parts of the world! Sparkman and Gauntlet head to Toronto, Canada!)
Sparkman: Well here we are! Man, the bus sucks!
Gauntlet: Ok, this is where we part ways.
Spark: What?
Gauntlet: Y'see, this was all an elaborate ploy to get a day off for myself.
Spark: Again!?
Gauntlet: Yup.
Spark: But the paper...
Gauntlet: I faked it!
Spark: (Pointing to a nearby news stand) But it's in all the papers...everywhere!
Gauntlet: Well...I'm very thorough.
Spark: I CAN'T BELIEVE WE TRUSTED YOU AGAIN!
Gauntlet: (Frankly, I was surprised as well!) Well, since the others are out on a wild goose chase, I get the day off, and so do you!
Spark: But...what will I do??
Gauntlet: I dunno...bungee offa the CN Tower...bug the mafia...have fun!
Spark: But...
Gauntlet: I'm outta here!
Spark: But what're YOU gonna do!?
Gauntlet: Ah...now that...is a secret!
(Gauntlet laughs evilly, drops a smoke bomb, and walks off.)
Spark: So...alone in a big city...what to do...
Scene 1:
(Spark bungees off the CN Tower, the tallest free-standing structure in the world!)
Spark: YAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!
(Spark's line breaks.)
Spark: GYAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Scene 2:
Spark: Yeah I'm over 18! My license...uh...well, y'see I left that at home...
Scene 3:
Spark: (Thought) Hmmmm...to have fun, need money...that guy looks like he has money...
(Spark sneaks up on a big guy in a fancy restaurant dressed in a suit and steals his wallet.)
Guy: Hey!! Wadya think yer doin!?
Spark: Well, uh, I y'see...
(Spark runs out with the wallet.)
Guy: GET 'IM!!
(Spark is chased by 2 goons.)
Spark: Alright, face the might - of SPARKMAN!!
(Sparkman electrocutes the goons. He then looks at the guy's wallet.)
Spark: Jackpot!
(Later, the goons return...)
Goon: Sorry Godfather, we failed...
Godfather: It is not your fault. That was Sparkman of the Elite Eight...
Goon: I think it was the Sparkman from that other team...
Godfather: WHATEVER! I'll have a very special surprise for him...
(Later, Sparkman has built a giant robot with the money he stole from the Godfather.)
Spark: I wonder who that guy was...? Ha-HAH, like I care!
(There's a huge explosion and Bitman of the Sinister Six enters the scene!)
Bit: Payback time! The mafia hired me to smash you!
Spark: Eat Chimera Mech!
(Sparkman tries to punch Bit with the Chimera Mech, but Bitman is stronger and he rips off the arm.)
Spark: AGGGH! THAT WAS MADE WITH THE MONEY I STO-er-BORROWED!
Bit: Whatever, I don't care! Yer mine!
Spark: Hah, well now you face a real Robot Master...
Bit:...
Spark: Get ready...
Bit:...
(Spark runs away.)
Bit: Dammit!
(The chase continues.)
Bit: (Thought) This guy's fast fer such a little guy!
(Eventually though, Spark is cornered at a dead end!)
Bit: Any last woids?
Spark: OH MY GOD!
(Bit twirls.)
Bit: ?!?!
(Spark sucker punches Bit!)
Bit: Why you little!
(Spark and Bit battle using their electricity! The battle seems evenly matched until...)
Bit: HAH! My superior strength will crush you!
Spark: How'd you escape from jail, anyway?
Bit: Galvatron's got connections! Now die, knockoff!
(Suddenly, Galvatron crashes into Bitman, resulting in a huge explosion!)
Gauntlet: Sparks! What the hell!?
Spark: Gauntlet! What the hell!?
Gauntlet: I ran into my old pal Galvy here!
Spark:...Is that Groovy Kat's Groovin' Mobile?
Gauntlet:...Well since his page is gone, I figured...
Spark: That car ain't yours!
Gauntlet: Aw, shut up! Just get in, we'll drive off!
(They drive off in Groovy cat's Groovin' Mobile!)
Spark: Wow! Leather interior!
Gauntlet: And it handles like a dream!
Spark:...I wanna drive!
Gauntlet: Fahgeddaboutit!
Spark: But I wanna drive!
Gauntlet: Hey, when you steal someone's car, then you can drive!
(Galvatron blasts the car.)
Galvatron: Hah! We can steal cars too!
Bit: Yer mine, Sparky!
(A fight ensues, and the Groovin' Mobile is heavily damaged.)
Gauntlet: Awww, man...TRY TO AIM FOR EACH OTHER!! LEAVE THE CAR OUTTA THIS!! PLEASE!!!
(Galvatron manages to blast the gas tank and the car explodes!)
Galvatron: Any last words?
Gauntlet: Yeah...Look up.
(Galvatron and Bit look up and dodge a falling piano!)
Bit: Thanks, dufus! And now...
(Gauntlet and Sparkman hit Galvatron and Bitman with every power they have, knocking them out! They then call the police and get a hefty reward...especially since they revealed that it was Galvatron who really stole Groovy Kat's Groovin' Mobile...)
(Later, the Mechanical Maniacs regroup at the warehouse.)
Gauntlet: So, how was I supposed to know the story was a fake!
Snake: You're probably the one that faked it!
Hard: nnnnnnnnnhhhhhh!
Top: You ever been chased by cannibals, Gauntlet?
Gauntlet: Um, no. No, I'd remember If I had...
Top: Neither have I...until today!
Gauntlet: Well, see there you go! You got to be chased by cannibals! And you, Gemini?
Gemini: I was eaten by a whale...
Gauntlet: Wow! You, Magnet?
Magnet: (Can't talk...laryngitis...I will kill you though...)
Gauntlet: Oh, It could not have been that bad!
Needle: I'M NOW WANTED IN 4 DIFFERENT COUNTRIES!!!
Gauntlet: Yikes! Better watch out fer you...Well, me and Sparks had a great time!
Spark: Yeah!
Everyone Else: ...
Spark: So whatcha got there Hard?
Hard: nnnnnnnnnhhhhhh!
(The personality-challenged Hardman pulls out the 1-star Dragon Ball!!!)
Gauntlet: That looks like...A REAL DRAGON BALL!!!!!
Hard: nnnnnnnnnhhhhhh!
Spark: ...Good Night!
Gauntlet: Well, I guess things turned out alright...
Snake: Oh they did? Ever get attacked by ten thousand Gerbils?
Gauntlet: Um...no...
Magnet: (Want to kill...)
Needle: And we learned something today too...
Gauntlet: Somebody learned something today!?
Needle: We learned a very important lesson today...Don't always trust what you read in the paper. The reporters sometimes exaggerate or outright lie to get a story, and that's just plain wrong.
Gauntlet: ...That's really reaching Needle.
Snake: Aw give him a break, he was crapped on by a thousand seagulls!
Gauntlet: ...(Takes a few steps away from Needleman.)
Top: Well, uh, until, um, until...aw screw it. EVERYBODY GET GAUNTLET!!
(The Mechanical Maniacs attack Gauntlet.)
Gauntlet: OW! Alright, I - OW! Quitit! OW! Sorry, 'kay? (The beatings continue.) HEY! OW! Endthestory, endthestory! (The beatings continue.) OW! Well - OW! - until Needleman - OW! - takes knitting lessons - OW! - we are - OW! - The Mechanical Maniacs! OW! STOP IT GODDAMMIT!!!!!!!
THE END
Cast: |
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Sean as ..... |
Sparkman |
Jacob as ..... |
Snakeman |
Anton as ..... |
Needleman |
Nobody as ..... |
Hardman |
C.J. as ..... |
Topman |
||
Gizmo as ..... |
Geminiman |
Titanium 91 as ..... |
Magnetman |
Gauntlet as ..... |
Shadowman |