Series 3 Issue # 22 - He's like an alternate-dimensional parallel being to me!

By: Nightmare (aka Top Man)

Enter narration here (I can't remember what the previous epilogue was about, so why don't you just damn enjoy what I've written so far...)

Gauntlet: A stunning narrative from our best pal! *sniffles emotionally*

Needlegal: Since when has he been our pal?

Gauntlet: Well, he WAS nice enough to buy us those Jelly Tots!

Hard: Gauntlet, he stole them.

Snake: Yeah, and then he got arrested!

Spark: Then we had to bust him out of there!

Gemini: Then we had to help him run away from the IRS for cheating on his tax returns!

Magnet: Then we had to....

Top: OK! So I've made a few mistakes in the past... even in the past two hours! But lets forgive and forget! Besides, I've been around here before, I'm the only one who can help us out of this mess!

Xelloss: Ah, Mr. Top? I believe you're about to walk over a chasm.

Top: Quite right, Xelloss, quite right.

Magnet: Damnit, Top, you have no idea where you're going, do you?

Top: Well, I know for a fact that we're headed to S town!

Gemini: There's a town called S?

Top: Well, sure! See, look, on this little round metal map! That little arrow is telling us that we're going to S town!

Spark: THAT'S A COMPASS YOU IDIOT!

Glove: Well, we're lost.

Pointygal: Thanks a lot, Dreidle!

Durable: Yeah! Is there any place we could ask for directions?

Serpent: Well, we could try the information kiosk!

Shock: It's a desert! Where are we going to find an information kiosk?

Twin: That's a good point. Why don't we ask that Customer Services booth?

Shock: Finally, an intelligent suggestion!

And so, our heroes go over to the Customers Services booth, get directions on how to get to the Information Kiosk, and head towards their new destination.

Xelloss: Well, Sirs and Madam, do you have any proposal as to how we're going to get food and water? The man said this would be a 7 hour walk!

Polaris: Geez, Xelloss, cut us some slack, ok? We're not super-intelligent like you!

Dreidle: Hey, back off, man. At least he's not disappearing like he always does when we get into trouble. Right Xelloss?

No answer.

All: Dammit Xelloss!

Needlegal: Well, it looks like we're alone again!

Snake: That guy is really starting to get irritating.

Hard: Well, he did have a point. I'm starving already!

Gemini: That's because you're a massive tub of lard who-

Durable: SHUT UP! I don't have to take this!

Polaris: Actually, you do! You signed a contract when you joined!

Needle: Have you ever noticed how we bicker every single epilogue, and then thirty seconds later we meet a new enemy?

30 Seconds later:

Dreidle: Hey, look over there, in the distance. It looks like a bunch of travelers.

Gauntlet: OK, lets go see who it is! Maybe they have some information about where we are and how to get back to.... uh, where are we going again?

Top: Don't ask me, I only wrote this epilogue! You're the one who planned the series out!

Glove: Good point.

The two teams run up to each other, and notice something.

Hard & Durable: They're a MM3 team too!

Snake & Serpent: But they look exactly like us! They even have our Transmetal armor!

Magnet & Polaris: And we say the same things at the same times! It's as if they think exactly like us!

Gemini & Twin: Hey, look at this! *each creates a double*

Gemini: Four Geminis!

Twin: Four Twins!

Gauntlet: Wait, I think that the time bond we

Glove: Wait, I think that the time bond we were stuck in is breaking!

Top: Man, this is getting really weird!

Dreidle: Man, this is getting really weird.

Magnet: I'm confused!

Snake: You're always confused, you idiot!

Polaris: I'm confused!

Serpent: You're always confused, you idiot!

Needlegal: Everyone shut up!

.......

Glove: I think that now that we are in the same vicinity, we-

Gauntlet: -aren't in rhythm with each other, so-

Glove: -we weren't saying the same things at the same time, and now-

Gauntlet: -we aren't thinking the same thing at all!

All: Creepy!

Pointygal: Listen, we should probably get out of here. We don't know who created them, but they're probably going to attack us with force, just like everything else has this season!

Snake: We could say the same thing about you! How do we know that you didn't send the Terminator, or the-

Shock: Well, prove to US that you didn't send those Different Colored Ninjas at us?

Top: You know what? Why don't we start from the very beginning.

Everybody waits.

Top: Who are you, where did you come from, and what do you want?

Dreidle: We are.... the LUBRICATED LUNATICS!

........

Gauntlet: That sounds strangely familiar, but not quite.

Spark: Yeah, something's there, but something else isn't.

Glove: I'm Glove, the leader! Although I like the team, I always run off to have my own quirky escapades!

Serpent: I'm Serpent Man! I like wrestling, and I loathe Stone Cold Steve Austin for reasons unmentionned.

Twin: I'm Twin Man, also known as Lemmon. I too run off a lot, and I like Final Fantasy.... a lot.

Pointygal: I'm Pointy Gal. I'm also Glove's younger sister. I'm kinda kooky, and fun!

Durable: I'm Durable Man. I'm also Jester Man in another team, and I always like to have a fun time!

Shock: My name is Shock Man. Although I'm part of the team, no one can ever contact me on the internet!

Polaris: I'm Polaris, but all of my teammates call me Polaris the Powerful!

Lubricated Lunatics: No we don't!

Dreidle: Lastly, I'm Dreidle Man, also known as BadDream! I come from another universe, and am writing this epilogue!

Mechs: This is ultra-strange.

Gemini: It's probably one of Wily's tricks. Let's find Wily and beat him up!

Twin: This is Clever's work! I know it! Let's destroy his lab again!

Xelloss: Actually, this has nothing to do with him.

All: Xelloss!

Gauntlet: Wait a minute, are you Xelloss, or some strange counterpart of him?

Shock: Hey, Xelloss is with us, Glove! I mean, other Glove!

Needle: Well, Xelloss? Which is it?

Xelloss: It looks like I picked a bad time to come here, because obviously you two teams are having a bit of a rough time getting along. Goodbye! *disappears*

Polaris: I think we can at least all agree that he is very annoying.

Quint: Aha! I've caught you unawares! Now it's time for me to-

All: QUINT!

Quint: Uh, I'll come back. *Leaves on his Sakugarne*

Gemini: So tell us, "Lubricated Lunatics", why did Wily send you here?

Durable: We have no idea what you're talking about. We've been wandering for weeks now, ever since we left Ultralopolis...

Hard: Ultralopolis?

Shock: That's right, home of the videogame renowned hero, Ultra Man!

Serpent: And we wouldn't have had to leave at all if it hadn't been for Unicron!

Dreidle: We had to destroy our base just to destroy him! Now we've been walking for a long time, and have encountered a bunch of enemies, and we're just trying to have some peace and quiet now! By the way, have you seen an information kiosk?

Spark: They're exactly like us!

Top: I think I know what's going on!

Gauntlet: Pray tell, explain it to us then!

Top: Well, in the book The Subtle Knife, by Phillip Pullman, this one character named Will Parry had a knife that could open up windows into new dimensions. Our in-rhythm actions and speech didn't stop until we reached this area. I think that we each passed through a window and arrived here, which is kind of like Limbo. So we just need to go back the way we came, and then find the information kiosk!

Dreidle: Brilliant!

Top: Don't forget handsome!

*They high five each other*

Glove: So neither team is evil, we just come from parallel worlds!

Gauntlet: Knew it all along.

All: NO YOU DIDN'T YOU LIAR!

Gauntlet: I never get a break.

And so after a teary goodbye, they each separate from each other and go their separate ways.

Snake: Well, I guess everything turned out alright after all....

Pointygal: And we learned something too.

Gauntlet: Yes. Never trust Nightmare when it comes to writing an epilogue that involves time distortion because he makes them too confusing.

Pointygal: That, and "To reach Route 400, take a left from the information kiosk, then travel 7 miles onward until you reach a washroom shaped like a giant piano, then turn right and walk 70 paces, find the X marked on the ground and dig 8 feet. Push the button you find there to activate the sub-desert transit system which will take you to Route 400."

Top: Well, until we actually FIND Route 400, we are the Mechanical Maniacs!

Dreidle: Well, until we actually FIND Route 400, we are the Lubricated Lunatics!

The End

Cast:
Sean as .....	Sparkman	Jacob as .....	Snakeman	Psycho Magnet as .....	Needlegal
Jonathan as .....	Hardman			Nightmare as .....	Topman
Lennon as .....	Geminiman	Titanium 91 as .....	Magnetman	Gauntlet as .....	Shadowman