Series 4 Issue # 1 - Megaman

By: Gauntlet (aka Shadowman)

The day begins badly for our heroes. Trapped in a world that seemingly doesn't recognize them as the heroes they are, they have been hunted and pursued for the past three days since regaining consciousness from the end of their last adventure. Unfortunately for them, their Transmetal armor has been damaged and so they are left in a hostile situation with even less of a leg to stand on than ever before......

Needlegal: This bites!

Topman: Enough talking, let's just run!

(Police bots chase them through the alleys of Monsteropolis!)

Police bot: Don't let them get away!

(The Police bots follow the Mechanical Maniacs through the alley and into the streets.)

Gauntlet: Three days ... THREE FREAKIN' DAYS! I'm getting us some answers!

(Gauntlet leaps into the shadows !)

Geminiman: Yeah, let's just blow these suckers apart!

(The police-bots round the corner and are promptly destroyed by the Mechanical Maniacs!)

(Shadowman then returns from the shadows with a captured police bot.)

Gauntlet: For questioning.

Hardman: nnnnnnnnnhhhhhh!

Police bot: You will never get away with this! Kidnapping a police officer is a -

Gauntlet: Oh, shut up! We need some back story here.

Police bot: .... back story?

Needlegal: Starting with why exactly is everyone trying to kill us!?

Police bot: You are Wily bots. You must be destroyed.

Topman: But we rebelled against Wily. We fought him plenty of times!

Police bot: Impossible.

Topman: But what about Unicron!? Surely you remember him!

Police bot: ?

Gauntlet: This is getting us nowhere. SO, why exactly is it "impossible" for us to have fought against Wily?

Police bot: Because Wily died five years ago!

.......

Police bot: Surely, you know this?

Topman: That's impossible! We fought him! With Mother Brain and king Hippo and that Eggplant loser!

Geminiman: This is sounding a little weird.

Gauntlet: Alright, so if Wily is dead ... how'd he die?

Police bot: He was crushed under the rubble when Skull Castle was destroyed after he stole Gamma.

Hardman: nnnnnnnnnhhhhhh!

Needlegal: But this does make our job allot easier.

Gauntlet: Yes it does. Doesn't it?

Geminiman: What? Why?

Gauntlet: Well, this is obviously some sort of alternate reality. All the signs point to it. And since it was a temporal explosion that fried our armors, I can't say I'm too surprised.

Needlegal: And in this reality, Wily is dead! Meaning we can try to get home without worrying about having any kooky plot to foil!

Police bot: Yes, Master Cossack manages to quell all rivals early, making this world very secure.

(The 'Maniacs look around and notice, for the first time, a number of billboards with Cossack's face. All with the words "obey".)

.....

Needlegal: oh, dear.

Gauntlet: This is decidedly more disturbing.

Needlegal: How the Hell did this happen!?

Geminiman: Wasn't Cossack only interested in world domination because his daughter Kalinka was captured!?

Needlegal: Speak up, copper! What's the deal!?

Police bot: I don't know what you're talking about! Cossack took over the world the year after Wily died.

Gauntlet: What about Megaman? Wasn't he able to stop Cossack?

Police bot: That renegade!? He failed and had to go underground to escape destruction.

Needlegal: Oh, that does not bode well for us.

Police bot: You'd better go underground too! Because I expect Megaman will soon be coming after you next!

The 'Maniacs (except Needlegal): MEGAMAN!?

Police bot: Yes, he hunts those he thinks are disturbing the peace! That's why he's always trying to destroy Cossack and his eight robot masters!

Gauntlet: DAMN .... MEGAMAN! It .... it can't be!

Topman: We're dead .... we're all as good as dead!

Needlegal:: What? What's the big deal?

Geminiman: "WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL!?"

Topman: What are you, basic!?

Needlegal: What? So what if that scrawny high-pitched voice girly robot is after us? We can take 'im!

.....

Gauntlet: Hh. Needle, let me ask you something. As Megaman three people, who was the closest to ever actually killing us?

Needlegal: Wily?

Gauntlet: no.

Needlegal: Xelloss!

Gauntlet: no.

Needlegal: um...... Galvatron?

Gauntlet: IT WAS MEGAMAN GOD DAMN IT!

Needlegal: Hunh? When?

Topman: WHEN!? When we were first made! Megaman came in, killed us, stole our weapons and moved on!

Gauntlet: The guy's unstoppable! How many of us robot masters did he destroy over the years!?

Needlegal: I think I see your point. But we're different now! We can beat him this time!

Topman: Well, you can try, but I'm not gonna take the chance.

Geminiman: Neither will I!

Gauntlet: Our only chance is to find someone to repair our Transmetal armors! Only then can we -

SFX: click!

(the Police Bot has handcuffed himself to Gauntlet.)

Police bot: Your only chance is to plead for insanity, young man! It's time to go back to the station.

(Gauntlet ripps off the bot's arm and shoves him aside.)

Gauntlet: Stupid robot!

Needlegal: We need disguises.

Geminiman: Excellent idea!

Needlegal: LET'S GO INCOGNITO 40'S STYLE!!

(And so, the Mechanical Maniacs raided a local clothes shop and changed into trenchcoats and fedoras!)

Topman: Who does not look good in trenchcoats and fedoras?

Gauntlet: Indeed.

Needlegal: Hey, where'd you get those sunglasses? I want sunglasses!

Gauntlet: I carry them around just in case of such an emergency.

Topman: Cool! Their Men in Black sunglasses!

Gauntlet: Yep!

(And so, the Mechanical Maniacs walk down the street trying to find something to eat....)

Gauntlet: Why do you suppose everyone's starting at us?

Geminiman: Geez, Gaunt, I dunno. Five people walking down the street all wearing trenchcoats and fedoras like we're part of some weird 40's gang. Who knows what they're thinking!?

Gauntlet: Hey, you shut up! Trenchcoats and fedoras are cool!

Needlegal: Oh, yes! I agree!

Geminiman: *points* Hey, there's a robot restaurant there! Maybe we can get filled up!

(And so, the Maniacs go into the restaurant and order their food.)

Needlegal: Hh. No energon cubes.

Topman: Well, we are in an alternate reality. Energon cubes don't exist here.

Gauntlet: Yes, it seems like there can only be ONE universe at the center of reality. There's only Megaman stuff in this reality.

Waitress: Can I take your order?

(The waitress takes their order.)

Waitress: Tank you. Um, don't mind me asking, but where did you get those sunglasses? I've never seen anything like them!

Gauntlet: Hunh? Their from the movie "Men in Black"!

Waitress: Never heard of it. Is it one of those kiddy movies?

Gauntlet: Um, no. Hmmm.

Waitress: Oh, well, your order will be ready soon.

(The waitress leaves.)

Geminiman: She never heard of Men in black?

Needlegal: Apparently not.

Gauntlet: I have an idea.

Topman: Hh. Is it a good idea?

Gauntlet: I ONLY HAVE GOOD IDEAS! Now, look. The people here don't seem to have heard of the men in black.

(The food is delivered and the 'Maniacs eat.)

Needlegal: So?

Gauntlet: SO, I say, we go and duplicate my Men in Black sunglasses! You saw how cool they are! We'll be rich!

Geminiman: But those aren't our design, Gauntlet! We'd be pirates.

Gauntlet: But that's the beauty of it all! Here, it *is* our design!

Geminiman: Oh-HO! That is a good idea!

(The Waitress returns with the bill.)

Waitress: Here you go!

Gauntlet: Thanks. And here you go.

(Gauntlet hands her some money.)

........

Waitress: What's this.

Gauntlet: Money.

Waitress: Is this some kinda of joke. Common, pay up!

.......

Gauntlet: I just did.

.......

Gauntlet: It's not counterfeit, if that's what you're thinking!

Waitress: Actually, I was thinking how stupid you think I am! What kind of money looks like this!?

(Gauntlet examines the bill.)

Gauntlet: .... Um .... all 50 dollar bills?

Waitress: "dollar bill"? I don't know what a "dollar" is, chum. We take ZENNIES around here!

.........

Gauntlet: Zennies you say.

Waitress: Yes, Zennies. Pay up!

......

Gauntlet: TEAM HUDDLE!!!

(The team huddles a few feet away from the table.)

Gauntlet: (Whispering) I don't have any zennies.

Topman: (whispering) Neither do I.

Geminiman: (whispering) Well, just use your counterfeit money machine!

Gauntlet: (whispering) Idiot! No! I need to first actually HAVE some money to scan in for the machine to produce more. It doesn't read minds!

Needlegal: (whispering) Oh, what are we gonna do!?

Waitress: Excuse me?

the 'Maniacs: AHH!!!

Waitress: Are you gonna pay?

Gauntlet: um ... of course we are. But we just remembered something else we'd like. We'd like an order of energy tanks .... for all of us.

Waitress: Oh ... certainly....

(The Waitress leaves.)

Topman: (whispering) So whada we gonna do!?

Gauntlet: (Whispering) What can we do? Dash and dine.

Needlegal: (whispering) Dash and dine!? Oh, no we can't do that!

Gauntlet: (whispering) Well, I don't see what choice we have! We don't have the money, nor do we have anyone we can call. We can't afford to be arrested either! They'll kill us!

Geminiman: (whispering) I agree. Hey, I've done this thing before. Just act cool and follow my lead.

(The 'Maniacs get up. and begin to walk towards the exit.)

(Several customers peer at them suspiciously.)

(The Maniacs continue to walk steadily out of the restaurant.)

Topman: (under his breath) Looks like we made it........

Someone: Excuse me sirs.....

(The 'Maniacs twirl around and find themselves face-to-face with a large angry-looking robot!)

Waiter: You have not paid for your meal, sirs! I insist you stay.

Gauntlet: Um.... oh, we didn't?

Waiter: No.

Gauntlet: But, I'm sure we did! We gave our money to -

Waiter: Shall we take this up with the police, sirs?

......

Topman: Well, you see, we're kinda new here and have no real ...... money.........

Waiter: .......... *glares*!

Topman: (whispers) I don't like the way this is going, Gauntlet.

(Suddenly Needlegal jumps on top of a nearby table and ripps of her trenchcoat disguise!)

Needlegal: Alright, people, listen up! We're the Megaman 3 team, the Mechanical Maniacs!

Waiter: The Megaman 3 team!?

(The others take off their own disguises.)

Topman: uh, feelin' a little exposed here.....

Needlegal: This is the fastest way outta here. YES! we are Wily's own Robot Masters! Boy aren't you all scared!

Waiter: Impossible! Wily is dead, his minions have no control, nor any organization! Doctor Cossack prevents all of this!

Needlegal: Yes, well, we're here now. Now let us pass!

Waiter: There is still the matter of the -

Hardman: nnnnnnnnnhhhhhh!

(Hardman fires his Hard Knuckle and destroys the Waiter-bot).

Needlegal: No need to lose our heads over this!

Geminiman: Agh. More puns!

(Gauntlet then hot-wires the nearest car! The 'Maniacs drive off at high speeds.)

Needlegal: So, where to leader-guy?

Gauntlet: Hell, I dunno! But away from here!

(Suddenly, the vehicle explodes and the 'Maniacs are sent flying!)

Needlegal: AHH!!

Topman: What happened!?

someone: Your reign of terror is over!!

Geminiman: W-w-who???

Topman: No, it can't be!

someone: I .... AM ..... MEGAMAN!!!

....

....

.....

Gauntlet: Wait a minute......

Topman: Something's not right here.

Needlegal: Is he supposed to be ..... green?

Megaman: You're all coming with me or face the Mega-serious consequences!

Gauntlet: IT'S THE MEGAMAN FROM CAPTAIN N!!!

Megaman: Who?

Needlegal: I can't believe we've been in mortal fear of the Megaman from Captain N!

Megaman: Captain who?

Geminiman: Oh, man! I've heard of THIS "Megaman"!

Megaman: HEY! I dunno what you're Mega-weird deal is, but you better surrender now!

Geminiman: OH, my, this has gotta be the funniest thing I've ever seen.

Megaman: "funniest"!? Oh, you're asking for this!

(Suddenly, Megaman is hoisted up by his underwear!)

Megaman: AOOOWWWWWW!!!

Needlegal: *snort* and you were afraid of this little guy!

(Needlegal then sends Megaman flying off into the air with her Needle Cannon!)

Megaman: Oh! It looks like I'm blasting of a Mega-agaaaaaaaiiiiinnnnn........*

Geminiman: Hm.....I guess things turned out all right after all ...

Needlegal: Yeah, and we learned something too....

Gauntlet: That Chicken Little was a friggin' idiot?

Needlegal: We learned that a reputation can be greatly exaggerated. And also that you have nothing to fear but fear itself!

Gauntlet: Or you without your makeup on!

(Gauntlet gets hit with Needle Cannon!)

Gauntlet: YEOWCH!

Needlegal: You shut up!

Topman: Well, until we learn to fear and respect the Captain N Megaman, we are .... the Mechanical Maniacs!

Cast:
Nobody as .....	Sparkman	Nobody as .....	Snakeman	Psycho Magnet as .....	Needlegal
Nobody as .....	Hardman			Nightmare as .....	Topman
Lennon as .....	Geminiman	Nobody as .....	Magnetman	Gauntlet as .....	Shadowman