Series 5 Issue #14 - Crisis on Earth-Capcom

Gary: Time for another adventure folks! So strap in and enjoy! Especially since Ben, Gauntlet, and I wrote this one together! It mostly focuses on the plot of the two new Robot Masters that appear in the Megaman 1 Remake for the Playstation, called Megaman: Powered Up! (Rockman, Rockman). It features the exclusive Timeman and Oilman whom is already a PC bot...nice going Capcom. But anyways this epilogue features all the screwed up name changes in the EXE American Anime and some Captain N Robot Master designs. So enjoy one of the most zany, idiotic, insane, epilogues ever dreamed up!

Narrator: It's yet another day at Sinister Six H.Q. But something strange is amiss for our heroes! Yesterday the Sinister Six invited their good friends, the Mechanical Maniacs for a small get together. Right now the Mechs are on their way to the Mansion bringing their favourite dishes to share with their comrades.

Topman: Mmmmmmmhmm...when was the last time we got together with the Sinister Six.

Hardman: Not for a while...since the housewarming.

Needlegal: Welp, I'm glad they invited us back. It's always great to be with good friends.

Shadowman: Yeah we go back a ways...but now it's time to plot my revenge!!

Snakeman: Revenge? What revenge?

Shadowman: You see! Tim's plan to get even with us for trashing his base! Now the terms have changed!

Needlegal: But G...these are the new guys...Tim isn't part of the S6 anymore.

Shadowman: Well, he should of thought of that before disbanding! *everyone rolled their eyes*

Magnetman: Welp, here we are.

Sparkchan: I hope they enjoy my special Mango Sponge Cake.

Shadowman: *rubs hands vilely* Revenge....mwhahahahahaha. *rings door bell*


*The door opens and to everyone's shock it's their archenemy ...*

The 'Maniacs: TORCHMAN!?

Torchman: Ahhh, greetings, my old friends. As you can see, there have been a few .... changes in the team since last we all met. Now, hopefully you can keep your manners during this -

Topman: Torch has infiltrated S6 HQ!

Hardman: Our buddies are in trouble!

Shadowman: ATTACK!

Torchman: But - *With lightning quick reflexes the 'Maniacs hold nothing back as they fire their weapons at the surprised Torchman! The resulting attack throws Torchman deeper into the mansion! The 'Maniacs follow in quickly only to find some rather disturbing changes ...*

Sparkchan: What's going on here?

Snakeman: I dunno, but the place is a mess.

Shadowman: NO! It can't be .... it can't be this bad ....!

Needlegal: Don't worry, Shadow ... I know how much you care about Ice. But he's a grown man (despite looking like a little kid in a fluffy parka). He can take care of himself.

Shadowman: Ice!? I'm not worried about Ice! It's ..... MY REVENGE!!

Needlegal: Your .... revenge?

Shadowman: Look at this place! My revenge is ruined! RUINED!! .....

Magnetman: *ahem* well, Torchman seems to be out cold. Let's see if we can't find our buddies in this mess.


Oilman Chibi: Oh no!

Shadowman: Who in Sodom and Gamorra are you?

Oilman Chibi: What you don't remember? I'm Oilman remember all those team ups we had in the past?

Timeman: Indeed, I recall Spikegal, Magnetman and myself teaming up when Super Chaos stole the twelve Sol Emeralds and become Hyper Chaos two days, five hours and twelve minutes ago.

Magnetman: Hyper Chaos? Spikegal?

Timeman: She is your teammate is she not? *Points to Needlegal*

Snakeman: And I thought DC continuity was confusing.

Shadowman: Well, this is all fun and all but I'll go see where the rest of the Sinister Six is. *Walks up the spiral staircase*

Hardman: I wonder if there's anything to drink here.

*Hardman walks into the eerily silent kitchen and pulls an ice-cold cream soda from the fridge, unknowing that he was being stalked.*

???: That's my cream soda you jerk!

Hardman: Wha? *Turns around* Fireman? What happened here we saw...

???: Fireman? I'm Torchman, and you're trespassing!

Hardman: Wait I... *Sees some more shadows* Oh sweet pilsner...


Cutsman: Well well, what do we have here!

Hardman: What the heck happened to you?

Cutsman: Nothing! I've never felt better!

Hardman: There's something seriously wrong going on here...

Torchman.EXE:: Step away from the fridge..

*meanwhile Gauntlet is trying to piece together what's goin' on*

Shadowman: Okay...something is very wrong here.

*Erik comes into the room*

Shadowman: Oh thank god, now to get to the bottom of this. Erik...

Windblastman: What?

Shadowman: Why are you dressed like Windman.EXE? I know you used to be Windman and all...but...

Windblastman: That's WindBLAST Man Gauntlet.

Needlegal: Gauntlet! What's goin' on here?

Shadowman: I donno. Look it's Rich, maybe he can shed some light on this situation.

*However Rich comes in dressed like the crappy Captain N guy*

Shadowman: 0_o

Blasterman: Hey.

Needlegal: Bombman?

Blasterman: That's Blasterman if you don't mind.

Shadowman: Okay, that's it. Let's find Gary.


*Discouraged, Shadowman and those with him make their way back to the rest of the team ... right in time to be confronted by two Torchmen!*

Torchman.EXE:: Hey! What did you do to my buddy Torchman!? What's this about attacking our old friend?

Torchman: You miscreants! We invite you here and you blast me! You're all so full of hate! It sickens me! You're the cancer on the community! You should all be ashamed of yourselves!

Hardman: Ummmm .... sorry?

Oilman: Well, "sorry's" not good enough!

Snakeman: Another PC moron!

Topman: What's going on here!?

Cutsman: I'd be happy to explain it! You can just come with me, kid. Into my van. I like kids. I'll explain it all to you.

Topman: .... Gauntlet, Cutman is scaring me.

Shadowman: Cutman -

Cutsman: Cut-Ssssss-man! With an "ss". Like in scissors! The kind used to cut up dead bodies!

Shadowman: Just shut up. You freak me out too.

Oilman (RR): Don't be afraid, ninja-pal! You're our friends! We're all friends here!

Timeman: You're wasting time and dinner is getting cold! Come with us!

*The 'Maniacs take a few steps back out of sheer horror as the Sinister Six advance on them.*

Torchman: There's no need to fight anymore, my friends. We're a team now! A .... family!

Cutsman: A CLOSE family! hee hee hee!

Topman: Oh, GOD, why is he looking at me that way?

Oilman: You're one of us, compadres!

Oilman (RR): One of us...

Windblastman: One of us.

The S6: One of us.... One of us .... One of us ....


Shadowman: Elecman and Ice aren't down here .... maybe they're all right! Dear GOD let them be all right!

*The 'Maniacs dash towards the stairs and through the creepy, whacked out Sinister Six team in hopes of finding answers!*


The S6: *Chasing them down the stairs, through the kitchen* ONE OF US! ONE OF US!

Shadowman: Quick! Everyone into the basement!

Sparkchan: Why the basement?

Shadowman: That's where Erik installed Ben's containment cell.

Topman: *Nearly gets grabbed by Cutsman* Eek! Hurry!

Hardman: *Knocks them all back with a Hard Knuckle* That's should hold them back for a second.

*Shadowman throws a Shadow Blade at the command console while the Mechs pile in with the adamantium door slamming shut behind them*

The S6: *Clanging against the door* ONE OF US! ONE OF US!

Needlegal: Phew! Safe, for how long?

Snakeman: I don't think they'll be getting through that door anytime soon.

???: Dear god I thought they got to you too.

Shadowman: Odin? What happened to the Sinister Six? Where's Gary?

Elecman: Three men who called themselves "the Writers" came and force Oilman and Timeman upon us by the decree of "Capcom".

Topman: Capcom? Who are they?

Sparkchan: I don't know hun. Maybe a new villain?

Shadowman: Go on Odin.

Elecman: Then suddenly Oilman and Timeman were always a part of the Sinister Six's adventures... then everything unravelled.

Shadowman: In other words you we're retconned.

Elecman: Retcon?

Shadowman: Short for Retroactive Continuity, it usually happens when someone goes back in time and changes the past. So these 'Writers' of behalf of 'Capcom' went back in time and somehow convinced Dr. Light to create an additional two robots.

Snakeman: And we're feeling the ripple effect of that and time itself in unravelling. So what do we do Needlegal?

Needlegal: Needlegal? Who's that I'm Spikegal, remember?

Elecman: Oh no! She's been affected!


Spikegal: Mwhahahahahaha! That's right. Now you'll pay! *she's goes to the door and unlocks it* *The crazed S6 pile in*

Six: One of us! ONE OF US! ONE OF US!

Shadowman: Noooo! This is getting ridiculous!

Cutsman: Hey Topman...what do you say we leave these idiots and go up to my room. I gots candy! *shows Topman candy*

Topman: Ewwww...that's discusting...hey...Tootise Rolls. *almost takes them* Hey! Wait a minute!

Shadowman: We got to do something about this!

Elecman: I've tried! And nothing works! And Gary's vanished! This mess just gets worse!

The Insane Six: *continue chanting* One of us! One of us! *they try to surround them*

Oilman: You can't escape the inevetable

Cutsman: *pinches Topman's butt*

Topman: Gauntlet! Doooo Something!

Shadowman: We need to get away from these bozos! *grabs everyone minus The Crazed Six and SpikeGirl*

*Gauntlet puffs them all outside the room*

Topman: Quick! Lock the door on them!

Hardman: *slams the door and sits down in front of it*

Shadowman: Good they are trapped in there for the time being.

Elecman: Until we can come up with a plan to get the old Sinister Six back. *everyone looks to Gauntlet*

Shadowman: I suppose you all expect me to come up with the plan? *everyone nods*

Shadowman: *sighs* Fine.


*Everyone looks intently at Shadowman for some miraculous plan.*

Shadowman: As I see it, this all .... ...

Shadowman: Well, it all started with Oilman and ..... the other ...

Elecman: What's wrong, Shadow?

Shadowman: I dunno, I just ... it's getting hard to think.

Snakeman: He's losing it!

Hardman: Pull it together, man! You're our only hope for a plan!

Shadowman: I got it! It's HALLOWEEN!!

Magnetman: Halloween?

*Before their eyes, Shadowman changes shape and colour!*

Shadowman H.: Ha-ha-ha-Ha-py halloween!!! HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

Snakeman: He's lost it too!

Topman: We need to find Iceman! Where's Iceman!

*The 'Maniacs and Elecman look up as they hear a loud cry!*

Iceman: (while standing on the roof) I AM THE LIZARD QUEEN! *And, after shouting that Ice suddenly falls and hits the ground - hard.*

Elecman: Oh, GOD! It's gotten Iceman too!

Geminiman: No .... no, he's always been like that.

Iceman: Aw, man, I'm glad I found you guys.

Elecman: I filled them in on what's going on. I thought they could help but ...

Shadowman H.: Happy Halloween! HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

Iceman: Aw, man ... they got the planning guy!

Magnetman: But he seems pretty happy saying that over an over again and giggling like a little girl. And since the rest of the funny farm is locked inside the mansion we can safely blow them all up and find replacements for our teammates! ....

Magnetman: What?

Iceman: We need to CURE, them Magnet. Not kill them.

Magnetman: Okay. How do we do that, Ice. ....

Geminiman: Maybe they just need to be accepted the way they are.

Snakeman: Accepted ...? (Snakeman turns to find Gemini has changed as well.)

Gemini: Yeah. It's not a crime to be different!

Elecman: No! It got Geminiman!

Gemini: Don't knock it 'till you've tried it, honey!

Magnetman: I'll try it!

All: Magnet!

Magnetman: What? He's half GIRL now!

Hardman: Yeah, and half BOY!!

Magnetman: .... But also half GIRL.

*the team goes silent as they hear voices coming towards them*

Iceman: I thought you said you locked them in!

Elecman: Well, I ASSUMED this was the only entrance to the mansion!

Magnetman: You guys get away! I'll keep them busy!

Gemini: oooh, Magnet!

Snakeman: Magnet, you freaking pervert! After all this is over you and I will have a LONG talk!

*The team races ahead! They scale the mansion walls to get to the roof!*

Topman: Damn it ... my feet have WHEELS on them! I can't ... *Topman falls as a rolling cutter hits the wall directly over his head causing him to lose his grip!*

Topman: NOOOOOOOOO!!!! *falls into Cutsman's grasps*

Hardman: We'll avenge you, little buddy!

Sparkchan: Just .... think happy thoughts!

(Now it's down to just Elecman, Iceman, Snakeman, Hardman, and SparkChan. They managed to reach the roof, but are hotly pursued by a band of raving lunatics!)

Iceman: We need to stop the insanity!

Snakeman: Gauntlet said he had a plan! I think I've figured something out! I know what we gotta do!


Elecman: ...and this plan of yours is?

Snakeman: Find the 'Writers' and force them to undo this mess!

Hardman: How are we supposed to do that?

Snakeman: We do nothing.

All: WHAT?!

The Insane Six and Mechs burst from the door and start converging upon the remaining five.


Sparkchan: Eeeeee! Is this the end?

Iceman: Looks like it is Classi.

(Then suddenly the fabric of the time/space continuum bends and warps from the multiple ripple effects. As the affected closer they all are reduced to pixels and blown away like dust in the wind. Oddly the other five still remain intact in a bright blue void.)

Hardman: ...What just happened.

???: Oh thanks a lot G, we blew up the universe.

All: What the?! *Turn around*

Snakeman: Who are you?

Elecman: It's... the Writers!

Iceman: ...and damn are they ugly!

"Writer" Gary: You're no spring chicken yourself Ice-dork. Anyway I am Gary and Here's my friends Ben and the ever-mysterious G...

"Writer" Ben: Can we finish this Matrix rip off quickly? I have a stack of Spider-Man DVDs to watch.

Hardman: You destroyed the whole *censored* universe and all you can think of are your stupid DVDs?!

"Writer" G: *Slaps Ben on the head* Manners Ben.

Snakeman: Heh, I was right! Their tinkering with our timeline caused a paradox that destroyed the universe and that drew them out.

"Writer" G: Guilty as charged but as writers it was our job to maintain a stringent continuity to make things less confusing.

"Writer" Ben: Then look where that got us.

Elecman: Continuity? Paradoxes? Even I can't digest this.

****Gauntlet's part****

"Writer" G: Shut up. it's not my fault adding Oilman and Timeman to your continuity kills things. That's Keiji Inafune's fault. Kill that guy. Leave me alone.

Snakeman: But your meddling -

"Writer" G: Anyhow, I can fix this.

"Writer" Ben and "writer" Gary: What!?

*The universe goes white as history is rewritten*.

*The teams all wake up feeling hung over*

Needlegal: What happened to us....?

Torchman: I don't recall .... but I feel I may want to vomit!

Oilman: Why do I suddenly feel like I matter even less than before?

Waveman: There, there, buddy. I know how you feel.

*the PC robot masters walk off without further combat as Gemini and Magnet meet Cut Chan and Topman*

Geminiman: *groan*

Magnetman: Worst. Adventure. Ever.

Cut Chan: No kidding.

Topman: *starts to cry*

Geminiman: So .... what were you two doing in that van over there?

Topman and Cut Chan: NOTHING!


Cut Chan: So .... what were you two doing in the SUV?

Geminiman: NOTHING!

Magnetman: Also, nothing! I was in a whole other part of the mansion, actually. Certainly not doing unspeakable, terrible ...


Magnetman: Nothing.

Cut Chan: Good.

Geminiman: Good.

Topman: Very good then.

*Shadowman walks by the crows, moaning in pain*

Shadowman: *groans* my stomach...

Needlegal: What's wrong, big bro?

Shadowman: Ohhhhh .... being a ninja obsessed with halloween .... I stole every bit of candy in S6 mansion.. and ate it.

Bombman: YOU DID WHAT!?

Gutsman: Oh, damn it! Was I the only one who kept his head during all this!?

Shadowman: Shut up. You don't know how I've suffered. None of you understand pain. Nobody but me has it so bad.....

Snakeman: Well, I guess things turned out all right...

Magnetman: Definitely. Because nobody did anything they'll regret for the rest of their lives so it Definitely. turned out all right, isn't that right, Lennon? Yes, it's totally right, I'm right.

Needlegal: And we learned something today too...

Magnetman: Yeah, we learned that some times being half a girl means your also half a BOY. And that the old saying"don't knock it 'till you've tried it" is just BULL people get to make you do things that you normally wouldn't do!


Needlegal: Just what the Hell are you talking about, Magnet?


Magnetman: I wasn't talking. Not at all. *laughs nervously*

Needlegal: But -

Geminiman: God, woman, leave it alone! Didn't you hear the man! He said nothing!

Needlegal: Well ..... gosh.

Gutsman: Some heroes we turned out to be .....

Iceman: yeah. After all this time you'd think a random collapse of reality wouldn't faze us. And to think, all this time, all our misery was because of some "writers" ... who turned out to be US! Does this mean we're gods? Or is God a reflection of every man's view of the world? Either way, we just make ourselves miserable. Is this some deep-seated physiological trauma showing through? I don't know. But we're not heroes, man. Not. Heroes.


Fireman: What the Hell did all that mean, Gary?

Iceman: Uh .... snoochie .... boochies...?


Fireman: Well, that's better!

Elecman: HEY, LOOK!!

*Elecman points to the mansion, completely undamaged*

Elecman: Hah! It never happened! Oilman and Timeman never existed! Neither did this adventure!

Iceman: Really? Something happened. Because I seem to remember ...

Cut Chan: Who cares what you remember? It never happened! No horrible, scarring, life-altering things ever happened!

Elecman: But if the people knew what happened, we'd be household names!

Cut Chan: Oh, sure ... right along with Michael Jackson! Can't you just let things die!? Nobody needs to know who did what to who! None of it ever happened! Y'know what? We never got to eat dinner. I'll make doggie bags for you Mechs. I'll go in the house now. You stay here and wait for the meal. *laughs nervously*

Topman: So until until we all learn to bury the demons that plague us far into our subconscious and learn to deny reality, we are ..... The Mechanical Maniacs!



Classi Cal as .....
Spark Chan
Raijin as .....
Psycho Magnet as .....
Hadrian Howell as .....
    Nightmare as .....
Lennon as .....
Jonathan S. as .....
Gauntlet as .....


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