Long ago, two races ruled over Earth: HUMANS and MONSTERS ROBOTS.
One day, war broke out between the two races (or at least a small portion of one race).
After a long battle, the humans (and the robots who sided with them, damn this intro isn't very good for Mega Man) were victorious.
They sealed the robots (the Wily affiliated ones, anyway) underground with a magic spell laws (since they'd arrest and turn off any Wily-affiliated robot they found).
Many years later...
The lowest level of the Multi-leveled city of Monsteropolis, known colloquially as the Wily Underground.
20XX.
This fine morning the self-styled Sheriff of the Underground - Magnetman - walks towards the borders of a disputed territory...
Flowey: Howdy! I'm Flowey! Flowey the flower presenter!
(Magnetman walks right past without missing a beat.)
Flowey: HEY!
Magnetman: Now lessee here. Past the ruins of some battle or sumsuch ... through a door ... a door ...
Croaker: Ribbit ribbit. (I heard using "F4" can make you have a "full screen.")
Magnetman: That's nice. (where's that door?)
Croaker: (But what does "F4" stand for? Four frogs?)
Magnetman: Probably.
(Magnetman walks off as the frogs continue babbling. Past a run down buildings and into a long hallway and, finally past a door. Magnetman opens it and reveals a wide forested vista. It seems the robots in this area have remade their entire section into a snow covered mountainous wonderland.)
Magnetman: Some people have too much dang time on their hands. If they spent half the amount of time helping out on Energen raids as they have on this nonsense we'd be all stocked up by now.
(Magnetman continues for a time until ...)
???: Robot. Don't you -
(Magnetman immediately spins around and shoots the creepily approaching figure right in the head.)
Magnetman: GYAHH!
(The robot's heads ricochets off a tree and then right into Magnetman's face.)
Magnetman: UFF!
???: WAHHHH!
(The head finally lands in the pile of "bones" that is his body.)
???: I guess that was my fault. Sorry for sneaking up like that.
Magnetman: Dagnabbit, do you always do that?
???: Pretty much, yeah. Pleased to meetcha. The name's Joe. Skeleton Joe, that is.
(The Skeleton Joe pulls himself together and Magnetman is left scratching his head.)
Skeleton Joe: But I guess cowboys are cooler than magnets so getting bored with your theme is tibia expected!
Magnetman: That annoys me in more than one way.
Skeleton Joe: I'm actually supposed to be on watch for Mets right now, but ... y'know ... I don't really care about fighting anybody. Now my brother, Joe, he's a met-hunting FANATIC.
Magnetman: Then I guess I'll be talking to him since I'm here to help mediate a solution to your ongoing feud.
Skeleton Joe: I have an idea.
Magnetman: As do I - getting on with the job. Let's go find your brother.
Skeleton Joe: Uh, well, okay. But I should warn you. He's a little ... bone-headed.
Magnetman: Are you gonna be doin' that all dang day?
Skeleton Joe: Actually, here he comes now. Quick! Behind that conveniently-shaped lamp.
Magnetman: ...
...
Skeleton Joe: Uh, ok, I guess you don't have to.
(Another Skeleton Joe boldly walks towards the duo.)
Skeleton Joe: 'sup, bro?
Skeleton Joe: You know what "sup," brother! It's been eight days and you still haven't recalibrated. Your. Puzzles! You just hang around outside your station! What are you even doing!?
Magnetman: Oh my god.
Skeleton Joe: ACK! I didn't even notice this intruder! Joe! Why didn't you alert me to this sooner!?
Skeleton Joe: I guess I need to bone up on my guarding skills.
Skeleton Joe: TO ARMS!
Magnetman: Hey, now, you people called me!
Skeleton Joe: Uh, we did?
Skeleton Joe: Well, you might have.
Magnetman: I'm here to help you with your Metool problem!
Skeleton Joe: But how do I know you're not some kind of fancy new Metool that looks nothing like a Metool, eh?
Magnetman: ...
Skeleton Joe: ...
Skeleton Joe: NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!!! Really had you going there for a minute. I, the great Skeleton Joe, am a master of comedy!
Skeleton Joe: Heh. Good one, bro.
Magnetman: Hilarious. Now -
Skeleton Joe: I will allow you to aid us, but only if you can pass a game a wits! TO THE PUZZLES! NYE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE!!!
(To Magnetman's annoyance the Joe runs off in a maddened glee.)
Magnetman: For cryin' out loud!
Skeleton Joe: Aw, don't be mad. This'll be fun.
Magnetman: *mumble grumble*
(Magnetman moves onwards into ... the snow covered peaks?)
Magnetman: Way too much time on their hands, that's fer darned sure. How is all this stuff underground!? It don't many any damned sense.
(Magnetman is approached by the inhabitant of this area of the Underground...)
Pipi: Ice to meetcha!
Magnetman: Likewise.
Pipi: Did you hear the one about -
(Magnetman walks past paying the robot no mind as he continues deeper into Joe territory.)
Magnetman: Ah, a way station. Maybe -
Sniper Joe: Did something move? Was it my imagination? I can only see moving things. If something WAS moving ... for example, a Met... I'll make sure it NEVER moves again!
Magnetman: Well, I did move and I ain't a Met. I'm -
Sniper Joe: A Met! A Met! I knew it!
(The Sniper Joe leaps out of his station and takes aim at an annoyed Magnetman and begins to fire wildly.)
Sniper Joe: I'll get you, you damned Metool! Mets drool, Joes rule!!
Magnetman: ...
(Magnetman, very carefully, moves out of the way as the Sniper Joe continues to rant.)
Magnetman: What a weirdo. And speaking of...
(Magnetman spots one of the Skeleton Joes standing in front of a slick surface.)
Skeleton Joe: Hey, here's something important to remember. My brother has a very special attack. If you see a blue attack, don't move and it won't hurt you. Here's an easy way to keep it in mind. Imagine a stop sign. When you see a stop sign you stop, right? Stop signs are red, so imagine a blue stop sign instead. Simple, right? When fighting, think about blue stop signs.
Magnetman: Y-e-a-h. How about you just tell him I'm here to sort out yer mess and we can forget all about that blue stuff?
Skeleton Joe: Oh. Uh, I could. But he really wants to see someone get through all these puzzles he made. He put so much time into it, I think it'd mean a lot to him to see you go through them.
Magnetman: Son, I do not have the patience for that kind of nonsense.
Skeleton Joe: Well, at least it's some kind of sense, right? Heh heh heh.
(Magnetman walks off in a huff.)
Snoler: I am a snowman.
Magnetman: And I'm one pissed off magnet.
(Magnet walks away from the snowman without another word. Eventually he happens upon ...)
Skeleton Joe: You're so lazy!! You were napping all night!!
Skeleton Joe: I think that's called... sleeping.
Skeleton Joe: Excuses, excuses! Oh ho! The Sheriff arrives!
Magnetman: I've finally caught up with you.
Skeleton Joe: In order to test you... my brother and I have created some puzzles!
Magnetman: You're testing me mightily right now, skeleton!
Skeleton Joe: I think you will find this one... quite shocking!!! For you see, this is the invisible... electricity maze!!! When you touch the walls of this maze, this orb will administer a hearty zap! Sound like fun?
Magnetman: NO!
Skeleton Joe: Because the amount of fun you will probably have, is actually rather small I think.
Magnetman: No kiddin'.
Skeleton Joe: Ok, you can go ahead now.
(With a huff Magnetman steps ahead and the Joe is the one who gets electrocuted.)
Skeleton Joe: Joe!!! What did you do?!?!
Skeleton Joe: I think Magnet needs to hold the orb.
(Magnetman strides angrily around the ground towards the Skeleton Joes. The taller one is shocked each time Magnet hits an invisible wall.)
Skeleton Joe: HEY! OW! STOP! OW! THE MIGHTY SKELETON JOE DEAMNDS IT! EEEEEEOOOOOWWWWWCK!
Skeleton Joe: This ain't going too well, is it?
Magnetman: I have had just enough of this!
Skeleton Joe: You must be having culture shock. You see, where I come from, it's a loving tradition to suffer through horrible puzzles for no reason!
Magnetman: Why you ...
Skeleton Joe: The next puzzle will not be easy! It is designed by my brother. You will surely be confounded! I know I am! NYEH HEH HEH HEH!
(The Joe scrambles ahead of the fuming Magnetman.)
Skeleton Joe: It would make my brother happy if you played along.
Magnetman: Look, is there a job here or not? I was told the Mets were a problem.
Skeleton Joe: Sure, but all work and no play ... you know?
Magnetman: NO! No, I don't know!
Skeleton Joe: Well, hopefully, by the time we're all through it'll be more in your field. Your magnetic field.
(The Joe calmly follows his brother. Magnetman stalks after them.)
Bomber Pepe: I don't understand why these aren't selling... It's the perfect weather for something cold... OH!!! A CUSTOMER!!!
Magnetman: Pass.
Skeleton Joe: I've been thinking of selling treats too. Want some fried snow? It's just 5 Zenny.
Magnetman: No thanks.
Skeleton Joe: Hey, that's okay. I don't have any snow.
Skeleton Joe: SHERIFF!!! I hope you're ready for ... Joe!! Where's the puzzle!!!
Skeleton Joe: It's right there. On the ground. Trust me. There's no way they can get past this one.
(Magnet walks right by the piece of paper.)
Magnetman: Guys, I think it's time to stop -
Skeleton Joe: Joe!!! That didn't do anything!
Skeleton Joe: Whoops. I knew I should have used today's crossword instead.
Skeleton Joe: What!? Crossword!? I can't believe you said that!! In my opinion... Junior Jumble is easily the hardest.
Skeleton Joe: What? Really, dude? That easy-peasy word scramble? That's for baby-bones.
Skeleton Joe: Un. Believable.
Skeleton Joe: SHERIFF!!! Solve this dispute!
...
Skeleton Joe: The Sheriff has turned invisible!
Skeleton Joe: I think he just left while we were talking.
Skeleton Joe: That cannot be! He's here somewhere, I know it! Sheriff! Come out and face me!
Skeleton Joe: Oh, man.
(Magnet is a distance away now. He sees a frozen plate of pasta beside an unplugged microwave.)
Magnetman: Ridiculous. I have half a mind to turn right on back the way I came, but I am duty-bound to at least try and solve this conflict.
(Magnet is accosted by another Joe.)
Sniper Joe 01: Heya, heya!
Magnetman: Hey!
Sniper Joe 01: Aw, man, I know you! Magnetman, right? Of the Mechs!
Magnetman: Oh finally! Someone who knows who I am.
Sniper Joe 01: Oh, man I'm so happy you're here!
Magnetman: Alright, let's get right to business. I've been wandering around this place and have only encountered nonsense.
Sniper Joe 01: Yeah, I'm all about business too. Hey, I know, why don't we go back to my place and watch some Netflix.
Magnetman: Uh .... what?
Sniper Joe 01: Okay, you're not into Netflix, how do you feel about snow sculptures? I like them oh so much, yes I do! I know you will too once you come and see then, do you wanna see them? Do you, huh, do you?
Magnetman: Not ... especially ...
Sniper Joe 01: Not into art either, eh? Okay, that's fine, what about a shooting game? We can blast coke bottles! I have some at home and home is close by I can go on and get them and we can have a lot of fun shooting at them and it will be oh so much fun do you wanna shoot bottles? Do you, oh do you?
...
Magnetman: Sure.
Sniper Joe 01: OH BOY!
(Sniper Joe 01 runs off. As soon as he's out of sight Magnetman hurries off as well, anxious to be off. He randomly finds a switch which, he supposes, opens up a useless trap set by Skeleton Joe.)
Magnetman: Mrrrrrrrrr... Grrrrrrr...
(When, all of a sudden)
Piriparee: What's that smell?
Crystal Joe: Where's the smell?
Piriparee: If you're a smell...
Crystal Joe: ... identify yoursmelf!
Magnetman: I'm the Sheriff of the Wily Underground! I'm here to help you people with your Metool problem! But I swear if I'm met with more nonsense...
(The Joes run around excitedly. Magnetman's face contorts with rage.)
Magnetman: NOW SEE HERE! You people called me here!
Piriparee: You smell weird, Sheriff. It makes me want to eliminate ...
Crystal Joe: ... Eliminate YOU!
(Magnetman uses his magnetic powers to draw the Joes close and proceeds to pummel the pair of them with his bare hands.)
Piriparee: WAHHH!!!!
Crystal Joe: THE WIERD SMELL IS ATTACKING US!
Magnetman: If you people don't want my help in your problem I am out of here!
(Magnetman storms off. Meanwhile....)
Skeleton Joe: I wonder when that Sheriff person is going to get here. I can't wait to show him my latest trap! It's a work of pure genius!
Skeleton Joe: I'm sure he's just chilling out somewhere.
(Back at Walkman's Bar ...)
Magnetman: Barkeep! Whiskey me and leave the bottle! I've had myself quite the ordeal.
Walkman: Sure thing, bud.
...
Magnetman: Strange.
Walkman: What?
Magnetman: I just thought that the Mechs would be here now.
Walkman: Why?
Magnetman: I dunno, there's just this thing we do when we're done for the day. It's odd not being able to do it.
Walkman: I'll help you do it. Hey, Wave!
Waveman: (runs up, happy to be a part of the conversation) Yeah?
Walkman: Mags here wants to do this thing his team does when they're all done with something
Waveman: Oh, wow! Okay, let's do it!
Magnetman: Great! (Magnetman scribbles some notes on a napkin) Here ya go. I'll start.
(Magnetman clears his throat.)
Magnetman: Well, I guess things turned out all right...
Waveman: Did it? What happened?
Magnetman: No, that's my line.
Waveman: Oh.
Walkman: And we learned something too....
Magnetman: Do tell.
...
Walkman: I guess I'm supposed to ad lib something?
Magnetman: Please.
Walkman: Oh, okay. Uh. Hum.
Magnetman: Take yer time.
Walkman: Well, I guess I learned about this silly little tradition. That, I guess, you guys do all the time?
Magnetman: Ugh, that did NOT work.
Waveman: I learned about the power of friendship!
(Waveman gives a very uncomfortable Magnetman and Walkman a big hug.)
Magnetman: Oh ... geez. Haven't you guys tried to kill my guys a few dozen times?
Walkman: Wave, we have talked about this. It freaks out the customers.
Waveman: Oh. Um. Sorry.
(Waveman runs off in embarrassment.)
...
Walkman: Is this next one me or you?
Magnetman: Oh, I may as well. Well, until Waveman can control himself, I am ... a Mechanical Maniac!
Long ago, two races ruled over Earth: HUMANS and MONSTERS ROBOTS.
One day, war broke out between the two races (or at least a small portion of one race).
After a long battle, the humans (and the robots who sided with them, damn this intro isn't very good for Mega Man) were victorious.
They sealed the robots (the Wily affiliated ones, anyway) underground with a magic spell laws (since they'd arrest and turn off any Wily-affiliated robot they found).
Many years later...
The lowest level of the Multi-leveled city of Monsteropolis, known colloquially as the Wily Underground.
20XX.
This fine morning the self-styled Sheriff of the Underground - Magnetman - walks towards the borders of a disputed territory...
Magnetman: Hm. I have a powerful sense of déjà vu.
Flowey: Howdy! I'm Flowey! Flowey the flower presenter!
(Magnetman walks right past without missing a beat.)
Flowey: HEY!
Magnetman: Huh.
Croaker: Ribbit ribbit. (I heard using "F4" can make you have a "full screen.")
Magnetman: ...
Croaker: (But what does "F4" stand for? Four frogs?)
(Magnetman walks off as the frogs continue babbling. Past a run down buildings and into a long hallway and, finally past a door. Magnetman opens it and reveals a wide forested vista. It seems the robots in this area have remade their entire section into a snow covered mountainous wonderland.)
Magnetman: Shit. How did I get back here? Did I really have that much to drink? Seems like that coulda happened to one of the other Mechs (mayhap the prior Hardman), but not one such as I, surely?
(Magnetman continues for a time until ...)
???: Robot. Don't you -
(Magnetman immediately spins around and shoots the creepily approaching figure right in the head.)
Magnetman: GYAHH!
(The robot's heads ricochets off a tree and then right into Magnetman's face.)
Magnetman: UFF!
???: WAHHHH!
(The head finally lands in the pile of "bones" that is his body.)
???: I guess that was my fault. Sorry for sneaking up like that.
Magnetman: Dagnabbit, again? Don't you learn?
???: Uh, I guess not since I love to sneak up on new folks. The results are positively rib tickling.
Magnetman: I hope getting shot in the head's rib tickling too since that'll just keep on happening the more you try that.
???: Good point. By the way, the name's Joe. Skeleton Joe, that is.
(The Skeleton Joe pulls himself together and Magnetman is left scratching his head.)
Magnetman: Yeah, I know.
Skeleton Joe: You do? I guess my great jokes are finally making me famous. Anyway, you're Magnetman, right? That's hilarious.
Magnetman: Hilarious?
Skeleton Joe: But I guess cowboys are cooler than magnets so getting bored with your theme is tibia expected!
Magnetman: Again with that? Look, are we gonna get down to business are are you really gonna go through this nonsense again?
Skeleton Joe: Again?
Magnetman: If you're here your brother can't be far behind can he?
Skeleton Joe: You know him too? You really are well informed.
Magnetman: I met with you both just yesterday!
Skeleton Joe: You did? Oh, I see. Heh heh heh.
Magnetman: You do?
Skeleton Joe: This is a bit! Good one.
Magnetman: ...
Skeleton Joe: I have an idea. My brother's on his way now. Quick! Behind that conveniently-shaped lamp.
Magnetman: ...okay...
(Magnetman frowns as he goes behind a conveniently shaped lamp, shaped exactly like him and thusly hiding him completely from only one angle.
(Another Skeleton Joe boldly walks towards the duo.)
Skeleton Joe: 'sup, bro?
Skeleton Joe: You know what "sup," brother! It's been eight days and you still haven't recalibrated. Your. Puzzles! You just hang around outside your station! What are you even doing!?
Skeleton Joe: Staring at this lamp. It's really cool. Do you wanna look?
Skeleton Joe: NO!! I don't have time for that!! What if a Metool comes through here!?! I want to be ready! I will be the one! I must be the one! I will defeat the Metools! Then, I, the great Skeleton Joe... Will get all the things I utterly deserve! Respect... Recognition... I will be the most respected member of G.I. Joe! People will ask to, be my, 'friend?' I will bathe in a shower of kisses every morning.
Skeleton Joe: Hmm. Maybe this lamp will help you.
Skeleton Joe: Joe!! You are not helping!! You lazybones!! All you do is sit and boondoggle! You get lazier and lazier every day!!!
Skeleton Joe: Hey, take it easy. I've gotten a ton of work done today. A skele-ton.
Skeleton Joe: Joe!!!
Magnetman: (In a bout of irritation) Alright, alright I've had enough of this!
Skeleton Joe: ACK! I didn't even notice this intruder! Joe! Why didn't you alert me to this sooner!?
Skeleton Joe: I guess I need to bone up on my guarding skills.
Skeleton Joe: TO ARMS!
Magnetman: Are we really going to do this all over again?
Skeleton Joe: Of course we are! Wait, are we?
Skeleton Joe: I think so.
Skeleton Joe: Then yes!
Magnetman: I'm here to help you with your Metool problem! I guess my sense of duty has brought me here once again, even if I don't rightly remember making the trip a second time.
Skeleton Joe: But how do I know you're not some kind of fancy new Metool that looks nothing like a Metool, eh?
Magnetman: ...
Skeleton Joe: ...
Skeleton Joe: NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!!! Really had you going there for a minute. I, the great Skeleton Joe, am a master of comedy!
Skeleton Joe: Heh. Good one, bro.
Magnetman: Grrrrrr...
Skeleton Joe: I will allow you to aid us, but only if you can pass a game a wits! TO THE PUZZLES! NYE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE!!!
(To Magnetman's annoyance the Skeleton Joe runs off in a maddened glee.)
Magnetman: NOT AGAIN!
Skeleton Joe: Aw, don't be mad. This'll be fun.
Magnetman: *mumble grumble*
(Magnetman moves onwards into the snow covered peaks.)
Magnetman: And where does the snow even come from!? Is Coldman hanging out somewhere around here? Maybe he should be helping the rest of us scrounge around for Energen instead of making useless scenery for the Joes!
(Magnetman is once more approached by the inhabitant of this area of the Underground...)
Pipi: Ice to meetcha!
Magnetman: Yeah, you too.
Pipi: Did you hear the one about -
(Magnetman walks past paying the robot no mind as he continues deeper into Joe territory.)
Magnetman: I wonder if this fella is willing to talk like a reasonable bot now.
Sniper Joe: Did something move? Was it my imagination? I can only see moving things. If something WAS moving ... for example, a Met... I'll make sure it NEVER moves again!
Magnetman: Do you say that every time - ?
Sniper Joe: A Met! A Met! I knew it!
(The Sniper Joe leaps out of his station and takes aim at an annoyed Magnetman and begins to fire wildly.)
Sniper Joe: I'll get you, you damned Metool! Mets drool, Joe rule!!
Magnetman: Damnation!
(Magnetman, very carefully, moves out of the way as the Sniper Joe continues to rant.)
Magnetman: I know these guys aren't as advanced as Robot Masters, but this is getting a mite creepy.
(Magnetman spots one of the Skeleton Joes standing in front of a slick surface.)
Skeleton Joe: Hey, here's something important to remember. My brother has a very special attack.
Magnetman: Yeah, "blue stop signs."
Skeleton Joe: Oh, you've heard that one before, have you?
Magnetman: From you. Just yesterday!
Skeleton Joe: From me? Nah, man. You must be glitchin'.
Magnetman: I'm glitching!? This whole level is one big insane asylum and I'm glitching!?
Skeleton Joe: Well, you are Magnetman. And you're a robot. So I suppose senility was inevitable.
...
Magnetman: What?
Skeleton Joe: That's how most people wipe their hard drives, right? And you have that big magnet attached to your head! I guess that's the Wily way - losing through self-sabotage.
Magnetman: G-g-oooooohhhhhhhhhhh - why you ..... !
(Magnetman walks off in a huff.)
Snoler: I am -
Magnetman: MAGNETS AND COMPUTERS CAN MIX! It's science, pard.
Snoler: uh ...
Magnetman: I'M NOT GLITCHED!
(Magnet stomps away from the snowman. Eventually he happens upon ...)
Skeleton Joe: You're so lazy!! You were napping all night!!
Skeleton Joe: I think that's called... sleeping.
Magnetman: Take me to the damned Mets!
Skeleton Joe: Since you are a Metool in disguise I, master strategist Skeleton Joe, have already accomplished the task!
Magnetman: Damn it, I'm Sheriff Magnetman, not a Metool, and you know it! Now let's get to work solving your Metool problem!
Skeleton Joe: Absolutely, dear sheriff!
Magnetman: FINALLY!
Skeleton Joe: Right after you've passed through some horrible puzzles!
Magnetman: HELL AND DAMNATION!
Skeleton Joe: I know someone who yells too. I think you two would get along great! You could just yell at each other until the neighbors call the cops!
Magnetman: I AM THE COPS! I'M A SHERIFF!
Skeleton Joe: Then it's perfect!
(With a huff Magnetman steps ahead and the Skeleton Joe is electrocuted by the very trap he set up.)
Skeleton Joe: Joe!!! What did you do?!?!
Skeleton Joe: I think Magnet needs to hold the orb.
Skeleton Joe: Right! Hey, you! Sheriff! Stop moving and take this orb so you can be electrocuted instead of me.
(Magnetman strides angrily around the ground towards the Skeleton Joes. The taller one is shocked each time Magnet hits an invisible wall.)
Skeleton Joe: HEY! OW! STOP! OW! YOU DIDN'T EVEN LET ME EXPLAIN MY PUZZLE! EEEEEEOOOOOWWWWWCK!
Skeleton Joe: This ain't going too well, is it?
Magnetman: I already know about your damned puzzle.
Skeleton Joe: You're new around here, so I suppose I should cut you some slack. But, for future reference, in our culture we let people explain their puzzles before just running through them!
Magnetman: You did explain it! Just yesterday!
Skeleton Joe: Your mind games won't work on someone as intelligent as I. I suppose this just means I need to try harder. Challenge accepted! The next puzzle will not be easy! It is designed by my brother. You will surely be confounded! I know I am! NYEH HEH HEH HEH!
(Skeleton Joe scrambles ahead of the fuming Magnetman.)
Skeleton Joe: It would make my brother happy if you played along.
Magnetman: I did that yesterday - to no avail!
Skeleton Joe: Maybe you should try taking that magnet off your head and see if that helps these glitches you're having?
Magnetman: I AM NOT GLITCHING!
Skeleton Joe: Ohhhh-KAY! You are the one and only computer in existence not affected by magnets.
Magnetman: I am, dammit! I'm Magnetman!
Skeleton Joe: You could have fooled me, dressed up like a cowboy and all.
Magnetman: I can be two things!
Skeleton Joe: Sure. It's not a crime to be an individual. (It's just insanity in your case.)
(The Joe calmly follows his brother out. Magnetman stalks after them.)
Bomber Pepe: I don't understand why these aren't selling... It's the perfect weather for something cold...
Magnetman: SELL SOMETHING HOT!
Bomber Pepe: In the cold area? That just makes no sense. Thematically speaking, of course.
Skeleton Joe: SHERIFF!!! I hope you're ready for ... Joe!! Where's the puzzle!!!
Skeleton Joe: It's right there. On the ground. Trust me. There's no way they can get past this one.
(Magnetman stalks forward.)
Skeleton Joe: Joe!!! THAT DID NOTHING!!!
Skeleton Joe: Whoops. Knew I should have put down Junior Jumble instead.
Skeleton Joe: What?!? Junior Jumble!? Finally, something we can both agree on.
(The Skeleton Joe scampers off.)
Skeleton Joe: ... Guess you don't like word searches, huh? Me neither. I'm more of a funny page kinda guy.
(Magnet continues and walks past the frozen plate of pasta beside an unplugged microwave.)
Magnetman: If the day proceeds as expected...
(Magnet is accosted by another Joe.)
Sniper Joe 01: Heya, heya!
Magnetman: You're ugly and your face is stupid.
(the Joe sheds a single tear.)
Sniper Joe 01: I justed wanted some affection.
Magnetman: You ain't getting it, tender foot!
(Magnet stomps off, intentionally hitting a switch that the Skeleton Joe likely set when suddenly, but not unexpectedly...)
Piriparee: What's that smell?
Crystal Joe: Where's the smell?
Piriparee: If you're a smell...
Crystal Joe: ... identify yoursmelf!
Magnetman: I'm Magnetman! Have Doc Robot fix your eyes, you're worse than useless like this.
(The Joes run around excitedly. Magnetman's face contorts with rage.)
Piriparee: You smell weird, Magnetman. It makes me want to eliminate ...
Crystal Joe: ... Eliminate YOU!
(Magnetman uses his magnetic powers to draw the Joes close and proceeds to pummel the pair of them with his bare hands.)
Piriparee: WAHHH!!!!
Crystal Joe: THE WIERD SMELL IS ATTACKING US!
Magnetman: Learn your damned lesson already! Now, this is where I stormed off in disgust before. I suppose I should press forward. Into the nonsense.
(Magnetman easily passes through a switch trap.)
Skeleton Joe: What!? How did you avoid my trap? And, more important, is there any left for me???
Magnetman: There's plenty left - it's frozen solid!
Skeleton Joe: Really!? Wowie... You resisted the flavor of my home-cooked pasta... just so you could share it with me??? Fret not, Sheriff! I, master chef Skeleton Joe... will make you all the pasta you could ever want! HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH NYEH!
(Skeleton Joe runs off in glee before Magnet can utter another word. Magnet stalks after him and, sure enough ...)
Magnetman: More nonsense.
Skeleton Joe: I don't see any nonsense here, only amazing puzzles! Sheriff! Hmmm... How do I say this... you were taking a long time to arrive, so... I decided to improve this puzzle... by arranging the snow to look more like my face. Unfortunately, the snow froze to the ground. Now the solution is different! And, as usual, my lazy brother is nowhere around. I suppose what I'm saying is... worry not, sheriff! I, the great Skeleton Joe, will solve this conundrum! Then we can both proceed! Meanwhile, feel free to try the puzzle yourself! I'll try not to give away the answer!!!
Magnetman: This must have been how Megaman felt having to deal with Wily's crap. I suppose the sooner I get this over with the sooner I can leave it behind me.
(Magnet easily solves the puzzle.)
Skeleton Joe: WOW!!! You solved it!! And you did it all without my help... Incredible! I'm impressed! You must care about puzzles like I do!
Magnetman: I endure because I must, not because I enjoy any of it.
Skeleton Joe: No need to hide your feelings. You're an open book to the great Skeleton Joe! Well, I'm sure you'll love the next puzzle! It might even be too easy for you!! NYEH! HEH HEH! HEHEHEH!!!
Skeleton Joe: Good job on solving it so quickly. You didn't even need my help. Which is great since I love doing absolutely nothing.
(Skeleton Joe scampers off and Magnetman runs after him.)
Magnetman: Maybe I can stop him from .... too late.
Skeleton Joe: Hey! It's the sheriff! You're gonna love this puzzle! It was made by the great Dr. Wily, before he left this world! You see these tiles? Once I throw the switch... They will begin to change color! Each color has a different function!
Magnetman: Save it! I'm not interested.
Skeleton Joe: GOOD! It's hard to remember it all. Anyway, get ready! NYEH HEH HEH!
(The Joe flips the switch and activates the puzzle and it resolves into a straight path. In a daze of disbelief the Skeleton Joe spins out of view with his brother chuckling the whole time.)
Skeleton Joe: Actually, that spaghetti from earlier... It wasn't too bad for my brother. Since he started cooking lessons he's been improving a lot. I bet if he keeps it up, next year he'll even make something edible.
(The group proceeds out and pass by a Joe in a large vehicle.)
Truck Joe: I await your command!
Skeleton Joe: Keep chillin', Joe!
Truck Joe: Can do! YO JOE!!!
(Magnetman proceeds to G.I. Joe Headquarters, but...)
Skeleton Joe: Oh look! They're having a barbecue!
Skeleton Joe: They're on fire, bro!
Skeleton Joe: That's just a sign of its roaring success!
Harpoon Joe: NGAAAAAHHHHHHHH! HOLD THE LINE, JOES!
(Flying Metools whoop down and give the already damaged compound a final blow, destroying everything and everyone still left alive.
...
Magnetman: And that is why you don't waste time with puzzles when there's work to be done. I guess.
Skeleton Joe: There's ... nothing left.
Skeleton Joe: Now, brother, that's just untrue! There's a lot of slag and ash! As soon as our friends wake up we'll have a great laugh at all this. You'll see.
(Back at Walkman's Bar ...)
Magnetman: Barkeep! Whiskey me and leave the bottle! I've had a lot of nonsense to deal with.
Walkman: Sure thing, bud.
Magnetman: It didn't end as I'd like, but it did end.
...
Magnetman: Hm.
Walkman: What?
Magnetman: I just figured that the Mechs would have shown up today.
Walkman: Why?
Magnetman: You know that we do our bit at the end of an adventure and my adventure is most assuredly over. In the most final way possible.
Long ago, two races ruled over Earth: HUMANS and MONSTERS ROBOTS.
One day, war broke out between the two races (or at least a small portion of one race).
After a long battle, the humans (and the robots who sided with them, damn this intro isn't very good for Mega Man) were victorious.
They sealed the robots (the Wily affiliated ones, anyway) underground with a magic spell laws (since they'd arrest and turn off any Wily-affiliated robot they found).
Many years later...
The lowest level of the Multi-leveled city of Monsteropolis, known colloquially as the Wily Underground.
20XX.
This fine morning the self-styled Sheriff of the Underground - Magnetman - walks towards the borders of a disputed territory...
Magnetman: What in tarnation!?
Flowey: Howdy!
Magnetman: NOPE! Nope, nope, nope.
(Magnetman turns around and walks right back home. He climbs back into bed having learned nothing.)
Long ago, two races ruled over Earth: HUMANS and MONSTERS ROBOTS.
One day, war broke out between the two races (or at least a small portion of one race).
After a long battle, the humans (and the robots who sided with them, damn this intro isn't very good for Mega Man) were victorious.
They sealed the robots (the Wily affiliated ones, anyway) underground with a magic spell laws (since they'd arrest and turn off any Wily-affiliated robot they found).
Many years later...
The lowest level of the Multi-leveled city of Monsteropolis, known colloquially as the Wily Underground.
20XX.
This fine morning the self-styled Sheriff of the Underground - Magnetman - walks towards the borders of a disputed territory...
Magnetman: Ohhhhhhhh no
Flowey: :)
Magnetman: NO! I REFUSE TO PARTICIPATE FURTHER IN THIS NONSENSE!
(Magnetman turns around and walks right back home. He climbs back into bed with a sinking feeling.)
Long ago, two races ruled over Earth: HUMANS and MONSTERS ROBOTS.
One day, war broke out between the two races (or at least a small portion of one race).
After a long battle, the humans (and the robots who sided with them, damn this intro isn't very good for Mega Man) were victorious.
They sealed the robots (the Wily affiliated ones, anyway) underground with a magic spell laws (since they'd arrest and turn off any Wily-affiliated robot they found).
Many years later...
The lowest level of the Multi-leveled city of Monsteropolis, known colloquially as the Wily Underground.
20XX.
This fine morning the self-styled Sheriff of the Underground - Magnetman - walks towards the borders of a disputed territory...
Magnetman: AHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Flowey: :)
Magnetman: Oh nonononono. I can't ... this can't be happening.
Flowey: Howdy!
Magnetman: AHHHHHHHHH!!!!
(Magnetman turns around and runs home. He shakily downs several shots of tequila before trying to get to sleep.)
Long ago, two races ruled over Earth: HUMANS and MONSTERS ROBOTS.
This fine morning the self-styled Sheriff of the Underground - Magnetman - walks towards the borders of a disputed territory...
Flowey: ;P
(Magnetman walks right past without missing a beat.)
Magnetman: No, no, no! This is impossible! I didn't walk here out of duty or a drunken haze or sheer bullheadedness. This can't be happening. It's impossible.
(Magnet keeps on walking in a haze with a sense of dread overwhelming him.)
Croaker: Ribbit ribbit. (I heard using "F4" can make you have a "full screen.")
Croaker: Ribbit ribbit. (I heard using "F4" can make you have a "full screen.")
Croaker: (But what does "F4" stand for? Four frogs?)
???: Robot. Don't you know how to greet a new pal?
(Magnetman freezes in sheer horror.)
???: Turn around and shake my hand.
(Magnetman turns slowly, as if caught in a dream. And he shakes the "mysterious person's" hand.)
*pfffffffffffffffffffft*
Skeleton Joe: heheh... the old whoopee cushion in the hand trick. It's ALWAYS funny.
(Magnetman freaks out and grabs the Joe by the coat collar.)
Magnetman: It's NONSENSE! The nonsense doesn't end! And it won't end either, will it!?
Skeleton Joe: Uh....
Magnetman: On, nonononono. The day's repeating, isn't it? It really is. Am I to be cursed dealing with this insanity forever? What did I do to deserve this fate?
Skeleton Joe: I expected you to be a bit freaked out, but not this freaked out. I mean, come on, buddy. It's just a whoopee cushion.
Magnetman: I should have just shot your head off.
Skeleton Joe: Heh, yeah. That'd be hilarious. Anyway the name's -
Magnetman: Joe the Skeleton Joe. Yeah, I know.
Skeleton Joe: Guess my comedy's finally getting me famous.
Magnetman: Look, Joe, I'm not up to going through your brother's absurd puzzles.
Skeleton Joe: You know about those, eh? I guess they're finally getting him famous. He'll be so happy to hear about it.
Magnetman: I'm serious here. I realize this won't make much sense to you, but I've already done them twice and that's two times too many. And your brother is ... intolerable.
Skeleton Joe: Hey, he's a cool guy. You haven't even met him.
Magnetman: Yes, I have and that's the whole problem! I try and try to get him to know this ain't a joke and all he does is laugh and make me do his inane puzzles. I mean - your entire command center's gonna go down in flames and all you people care about is your damned puzzles!!
Skeleton Joe: Is that magnet on your head scrambling your brain or something?
Magnetman: I'm Magnetman, it is not scrambling my brain!
Skeleton Joe: Because, classically, magnets and computers don't mix very well.
Magnetman: We have to take this seriously!
Skeleton Joe: Wait, I have an idea. Quick! Behind that conveniently-shaped lamp.
Magnetman: No! I have to get the two of you to see reason.
Skeleton Joe: Uh, ok, I guess you don't have to.
(Another Skeleton Joe boldly walks towards the duo.)
Skeleton Joe: 'sup, bro?
Skeleton Joe: You know what "sup," brother! It's been eight days and you still haven't recalibrated. Your. Puzzles! You just hang around outside your station! What are you even doing!?
Magnetman: I'm afraid those puzzles won't do you any good.
Skeleton Joe: What!? Puzzles do everyone good! They sharpen the mind and test your wits! I cannot believe you had the gall to say such a thing. JOE! Who is this cowboy?
Magnetman: I'm Sheriff Magnetman and I'm here to save you people from a Metool attack. There's no time to lose!
Skeleton Joe: I'll say. The great Skeleton Joe will show you that puzzles are not time wasters at all! There's just nothing more important than that!
Magnetman: No, no, no! The Metool invasion has already started!
Skeleton Joe: A clever feint, but it won't work. To get to G.I. Joe Headquarters you'll have to pass through all of my puzzles!
Magnetman: AHHHH!
Skeleton Joe: Now don't get frustrated. It might take a few tries, but I'm sure you'll manage to do it. I believe in you, Sheriff!
(The Joes scampers off.)
Magnetman: Stop! Seriously, the Metools are invading as we speak! DAMN IT! He's gone, isn't he?
Skeleton Joe: My bro really likes puzzles.
Magnetman: I know!
Skeleton Joe: Were you serious about Mets attacking us now?
Magnetman: Of course! We can't loiter about as if nothing's happening. Are you gonna help me?
Skeleton Joe: Well ... I suppose I could show you a shortcut. Although Joe will be disappointed. Come on.
(The Joe and Magnet walk in the opposite direction and wind up right at G.I. Joe Headquarters.
Magnetman: Short range teleporter, eh?
Skeleton Joe: Nah, I actually dabble in advanced quantum physics. Despite the look, I'm no bonehead.
Magnetman: I honestly cannot tell if that was a joke or not.
Skeleton Joe: Welp, I've done my job. Time to get back to work. I'll never get anywhere in Breath of the Wild if I don't keep at it. Break a leg.
(The Joe walks off leaving Magnetman to look around the compound himself.)
Magnetman: Finally! Maybe now that I've gotten past those Skeleton Joes I can find someone who actually cares about stopping the Metool invasion and, maybe then, this day will mercifully end.
Sniper Armour: Nice to meet you?
Magnetman: Damnit, was I talking to myself.
Sniper Armour: Yeah.
Magnetman: I'm getting as bad as Shadowman.
Apache Joe: State your business!
Magnetman: There's gonna be a Metool attack!
Apache Joe: HAH! A likely story.
Magnetman: OH COME ON!
Apache Joe: This is the most fortified base in the entire Underground! There's no way any Metool can get through our defenses.
Sniper Armour: I hate to agree, but I do.
Magnetman: I can't believe this!
Apache Joe: TO ARMS!
(Magnetman fights the Apache Joe and Sniper Armour, easily defeating the two.)
Apache Joe: Armour... Armour, answer me...
Magnetman: Stop being so dramatic! Both of you'll survive. I just need to find...
Harpoon Joe: YOU!!!
Magnetman: Oh, boy.
Harpoon Joe: How DARE you invade G.I. Joe Headquarters!
Magnetman: I came here to warn you silly asses about a Metool invasion!!
Harpoon Joe: A likely story. NGAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! En guarde!
(The Harpoon Joe fires (what else?) Harpoons at an annoyed Magnetman as he tries to reason with her.)
Magnetman: Damnation, woman! Metools are invading the area!
Harpoon Joe: And you're with them, aren't you! For the sake of Joes everywhere I will stop you here and now!
(The Harpoon Joe is surprisingly strong, but...)
Magnetman: Darn it! I'm trying to help you, people! Stop fighting me!
Harpoon Joe: Mercy! Ha! I still can't believe YOU want to spare ME!
Magnetman: If you keep on coming at me...
(Finally, Magnetman manages to score a fatal blow.)
Harpoon Joe: Ngahhh... You were stronger... than I thought... So then... ... this is where... ... it ends...
Magnetman: I'm sorry it had to -
Harpoon Joe: No... NO! I won't die! Doc Robot... King... Skeleton Joe... Everyone is counting on me to protect them! NNNNAGH!
(Magnetman finishes the Joe off once and for all.)
Magnetman: IDIOT! This really didn't need to escalate! What the HELL!? Is everyone in this part of the Underground consumed with their own nonsense!?
Hammer Joe: HARPOON!!
Machine Gun Joe: ... monster.
Magnetman: DAMN IT!
(The Joes attack and Magnetman manages to take out both Joes without seriously hurting them.)
Magnetman: STAY DOWN! That was that lady's problem. Now listen to me, the lot of you! A Metool attack is about to start! We've gotta mobilize!
Apache Joe: Good job on taking us all out, then.
...
Magnetman: Oh, damn it, you're right.
(It's then that the Mets begin their assault!)
Metools: EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!
Magnetman: Now, look! I don't know what your deal is, but you WILL stand down!
Metool K1000: METOOLS DO NOT "STAND DOWN!"
Space Metool: THERE WILL BE NO NEGOTIATION!
Metools: EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!
(Magnetman ploughs through the Metools present, but....)
Metools: EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!
Magnetman: It can't end this way. Taken out by freakin' Metools!? Metools!?
Metools: (Whipped up into a mad frenzy) EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!
Long ago, two races ruled over Earth: HUMANS and MONSTERS ROBOTS.
This fine morning the self-styled Sheriff of the Underground - Magnetman - walks towards the borders of a disputed territory...
Flowey: Hee hee hee :D
(Magnetman walks right past, frantically racking his mind for a solution to his seemingly never ending purgatory of a day.)
Magnetman: I can't believe it. I got there, bypassed all the nonsense with the Skeleton Joes only to find more nonsense at G.I. Joe headquarters! Nonsense! Is nonsense my lot in life? I cannot accept that!I DO not accept that! There must be a way around this, but how?
Flowey: Have you tried making friends with everyone?
Magnetman: (noticing the flower for the first time) Friends!
Flowey: I mean, it's worth a shot, right? : :P
I reckon ... I reckon it is ... Although the nonsense... Can a man truly take so much nonsense?
Flowey: I believe in you!
Magnetman: Yeah. Thanks.
(Magnetman forces himself to walk with a spring in his step, ignoring frogs in his path and beelining to the door to the greater part of Joe territory. There he meets...)
???: Robot. Don't you know how to greet a new pal?
(Magnetman turns around and sticks out his hand, taking a firm hold of the Joe's hand. Predictably...)
*pfffffffffffffffffffft*
Skeleton Joe: heheh... the old whoopee cushion in the hand trick... wait a sec... Have you heard it before or something? You turned around before I said to ... weird.
Magnetman: Heh heh heh, yeah, it's a laugh riot. Hey, your bro's just up ahead, let's run up and meet him!
Skeleton Joe: Uh...
(Magnetman runs forward with the Joe rushing to keep up.)
Magnetman: Yes. Gotta find yer brother and get this ... delightful ... nonsense ... over with.
(Magnetman approaches the spot seeing Skeleton Joe chatting with Pipi.)
Skeleton Joe: - and if you see a Metool alert me and the great Skeleton Joe will come to your aid immediately! Weak as you are, you should not attempt to fight it off yourself. Better leave it to the professionals. And, of course, myself.
Pipi: Don't worry, I won't give you the cold shoulder!
Skeleton Joe: PIPI! This is serious business!
Pipi: Hey, I'm not the one who loses his head after one little hit.
Skeleton Joe: UGH!
Magnetman: YO JOE!!!
Skeleton Joe: What!?
(Magnetman strides boldly up to a discombobulated Skeleton Joe.)
Skeleton Joe: JOE!! You were supposed to be on guard duty!
Skeleton Joe: Sorry, bro. I guess he's just attracted to your magnetic personality.
Magnetman: Come on, let's be pals! You can show me your amazing puzzles! I'll bet they're just swell!
Skeleton Joe: You WANT to endure my tests of skill? I mean, you're actually asking for it? Wait, of course you are! You must have heard of the great Skeleton Joe!
Magnetman: Yes, I have and your amazing cooking skills.
Skeleton Joe: You've ... heard of them?
Skeleton Joe: And that they're amazing?
Magnetman: Yeah, your spaghetti really is unbelievable.
Skeleton Joe: Oh, you've heard his skills were "unbelievable." I get it now.
Skeleton Joe: Do you see, Joe? With enough work, you can be as impressive as I am!
(All three merrily walk past the Sniper Joe's station.)
Sniper Joe: Did something move? Was it my imagination? I can only see moving things. If something WAS moving ... for example, a Met... I'll make sure it NEVER moves again!
Skeleton Joe: Yep, it's a Metool, alright.
Sniper Joe: (Goes crazy) A Met? A Met? Where? Where?
Skeleton Joe: JOE! Do not mock Sniper Joe. He takes his job quite seriously! Unlike you. You could learn a lot from him, you lazybones.
Magnetman: "Lazybones." HAW! Yeah, you two are great!
Magnetman: (thought) Just gotta stomach this nonsense as much as I can. Get through all of this as quickly as possible. If I can ham it up for just one day I can fend off the Metool attack and end this madness.
Sniper Joe: So no Mets?
Skeleton Joe: Nope.
Skeleton Joe: Just our good gender-neutral friend.
Magnetman: I'm a male robot. How is it not obvious?
Skeleton Joe: Non-Joes all vary so much, it's really hard to keep track of your identifiers.
Magnetman: I have a beard!
Skeleton Joe: Well, you know what they say about people who assume.
...
Skeleton Joe: I'm asking. What do they say about people who assume?
Skeleton Joe: They say they're astonishingly insightful.
Skeleton Joe: Really??? Then I should be known as the king of assumption!
Skeleton Joe: You sorta are.
(Magnet sees the first puzzle.)
Magnetman: Hey, I know this one. The good 'ol electrical maze. I'll just take that orb and....
(Magnetman effortlessly makes his way through the maze.)
Magnetman: There!
Skeleton Joe: WOWIE! You solved it ... without me even explaining it.
Skeleton Joe: Have you done this one before?
Skeleton Joe: You're new around here, so I suppose I should cut you some slack. But, for future reference, in our culture we let people explain their puzzles before just running through them!
Magnetman: Sorry, but I was just so excited that I rushed ahead without thinking.
Skeleton Joe: Well, I know that one of my puzzles can be that way.
Magnetman: Come on, guys, let's keep going!
Skeleton Joe: Gosh, he really loves puzzles, don't he?
Skeleton Joe: Yes!!! How refreshing! Is what I want to say. But it's actually a little weird.
(Magnetman approaches the piece of paper lying on the ground and quickly sets to work. The tall Skeleton Joe is rushing after him.)
Skeleton Joe: The next puzzle will not be easy! It is designed by my brother. You will surely be -
Magnetman: Done.
Skeleton Joe, Skeleton Joe: DONE!?
Magnetman: Yeah. I'm pretty good at these word searches.
(The smaller Joe examines the word search.)
Skeleton Joe: You changed the letter of this word here...
Skeleton Joe: That's cheating!
Magnetman: It's not cheating if the word search was a misspelled word. I fixed it.
Skeleton Joe: Oh! Thanks?
Magnetman: You're welcome. Onwards! To the next puzzle!
(Magnetman strides forwards, past the overly affectionate Joe who latches onto on of the Joes for affection.)
Sniper Joe 01: Heya, heya!
Skeleton Joe: Heya!
Sniper Joe 01: So good to see you again, Joe!
Skeleton Joe: Likewise, Joe!
Skeleton Joe: Joe.
Sniper Joe 01: Joe!
(Magnet sprints off, intentionally sets a switch that the Joe likely reset when...)
Piriparee: What's that smell?
Crystal Joe: Where's the smell?
Piriparee: If you're a smell...
Crystal Joe: ... identify yoursmelf!
Magnetman: I'm Magnetman! I'm a pal of the Skeleton Joes!
(The Joes run around excitedly. Magnetman's face contorts with rage.)
Piriparee: You smell weird, Magnetman. It makes me want to eliminate ...
Crystal Joe: ... Eliminate YOU!
(Magnetman tries to evade the Joes' attack.)
Piriparee: Stand still, weird. smell!
Crystal Joe: So we can smash you!
Magnetman: Little help?
Skeleton Joe: Why? You aren't having fun?
Magnetman: What is with these guys and smelling!?
Skeleton Joe: You just need to give 'em something they like the smell of.
(The Joe takes out an Energen goodie.)
Skeleton Joe: Bah-weep-Graaaaagnah wheep ni ni bong.
Piriparee: Bah-weep-Graaaaagnah wheep ni ni bong?
Crystal Joe: Bah-weep-Graaaaagnah wheep ni ni bong!
Magnetman: ...
Skeleton Joe: We're good now.
Piriparee: Yes.
Crystal Joe: You may pass.
Magnetman: For the record that smell? Old spice.
Piriparee: Hate it.
Magnetman: The devil you say!
(The Skeleton Joes struggle to keep up as Magnetman picks up the frozen plate of pasta and gives it right to Skeleton Joe.)
Magnetman: For you, my friend.
Skeleton Joe: You resisted the flavor of my home-cooked pasta... just so you could share it with me??? Fret not, Sheriff! I, master chef Skeleton Joe... will make you all the pasta you could ever want! HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH NYEH!
(Magnetman pauses at the next puzzle.)
Skeleton Joe: Hmmm... This puzzle could use some improvement.
Skeleton Joe: I have a feeling the Sheriff will get through pretty quickly.
(Magnet has a little trouble, but manages to get out of it.)
Skeleton Joe: WOW!!! You solved it!! And you did it all without my help... Incredible! I'm impressed! You must care about puzzles like I do!
Magnetman: You bet I do!
Skeleton Joe: Well, I'm sure you'll love the next puzzle! It might even be too easy for you!! NYEH! HEH HEH! HEHEHEH!!!
(Skeleton Joe scampers off, outpacing Magnetman this time, and Magnetman runs after him.)
Skeleton Joe: Hey! You're gonna love this puzzle! It was made by the great Dr. Wily, before he left this world! You see these tiles? Once I throw the switch... They will begin to change color! Each color has a different function!
Magnetman: Save it! There's no way I can remember them all.
Skeleton Joe: GOOD! I don't think I can either. Anyway, get ready! NYEH HEH HEH!
(The Joe flips the switch and activates the puzzle and it resolves into a straight path. In a daze of disbelief the Joe spins out of view with his brother chuckling the whole time.)
Skeleton Joe: Actually, that spaghetti from earlier... It wasn't too bad for my brother. Since he started cooking lessons he's been improving a lot. I bet if he keeps it up, next year he'll even make something edible.
(The group proceed out and pass by a Joe in a large vehicle.)
Truck Joe: I await your command!
Skeleton Joe: Keep chillin', Joe!
Truck Joe: Can do! YO JOE!!!
(Magnetman proceeds to G.I. Joe Headquarters.)
Magnetman: I've made it!
Hammer Joe: Who goes there! Stop in the name of G.I. Joe!
Machine Gun Joe: ... yeah.
Magnetman: It's time to mobilize Joes, a Met attack is imminent!
Hammer Joe: What?
Skeleton Joe: You're a pushy sorta guy, aren't you?
Magnetman: I - I don't mean to be pushy. I just have a bad feeling.
Skeleton Joe: Those are the worst kinds of feelings.
Skeleton Joe: I guess you want us all to jump because of your feelings, huh?
Magnetman: *sigh* I guess we just have to wait a few minutes. So, how exactly did this business with the Metools start?
Skeleton Joe: They desperately want friends. They're just being a little too forward about it. If they asked nicely we could all hang out and go through horrifying puzzles together.
Skeleton Joe: I'm surprised you don't already have a "feeling" on what happened.
Magnetman: All I know if that they've gone nuts and shout "exterminate" a lot.
Skeleton Joe: Whadya know? Another "feeling" turns out to be true.
Magnetman: That can't be all there is to it!
Hammer Joe: Hate to say it, but the skeleton's right. The Mets just started to attack one day. They won't talk or listen to reason -
Skeleton Joe: Or jokes.
Skeleton Joe: Or eat my famous pasta! It's almost as if they don't like it.
Skeleton Joe: But that can't be!
Skeleton Joe: I know! They're so weird.
Magnetman: So, I'm gathering that the Metools have just decided to become raging assholes now.
Harpoon Joe: NGAAAAAHHHHHHHH! GET READY, JOES! METOOLS HAVE BEEN SPOTTED AND ARE ON THEIR WAY!
(Everyone looks to the distance and are amazed at the sheer number of Mets.)
Metools: EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!
Hammer Joe: There's so many of them.
Machine Gun Joe: ... yeah.
Skeleton Joe: So Magnetman's feelings were right?
Skeleton Joe: Wowie. The Sheriff has been so on-the-spot it's almost like he's done this numerous times before. Or he's a mind reader! Hey, that'd be great, actually! I could finally understand my lolly gagging brother.
Skeleton Joe: Aren't you worried about him reading your mind?
Skeleton Joe: Not at all! I'm sorry to disappoint you, Sheriff, but my mind is far too advanced to be read by anyone. I'm sure you'd liked to have learned something about being awesome, but you'll jut have to get to it the hard way - through hard work.
Harpoon Joe: The other G.I. Joes are on their way! It's time we show these toys what real robots are capable of. YO JOE!!!!
Skeleton Joe: I know. All you really need is a friend!
(The Metool blows Skeleton Joe to bits.)
Skeleton Joe: (now just a head on the ground) No need to mask your feelings.
Magnetman: I'm afraid the only answer here is violence!
Harpoon Joe: Sounds good to me! NGAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Fire Metool: I will burn you all! EXTERMINATE!!!
(The fire Metool is crushed by the Truck Joe.)
Truck Joe: YO JOE!
Magnetman: Don't get cocky, there are hordes of these guys!
Skeleton Joe: I took a bit of a break and got some friends to join us for the party.
Piriparee: I hate the smell of Metools!
Crystal Joe: But I love the smell of broken Metools!
Metool Mommy: You will not eradicate my children! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!
Baby Metools: EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!!!!
Piriparee: They sound so cute!
Crystal Joe: Can we really destroy ones so small?
Magnetman: Sure you can! Allow me to demonstrate!
(Magnet guns down the Metool Mommy and the baby Metools, to the horror of Piriparee and Crystal Joe.)
Apache Joe: They just keep on coming!
Sniper Armour: Is the fighting too hard for you, Apache? Maybe you should go back inside and hide.
Apache Joe: Screw you! YO JOE!!!
Space Metool: EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!!!
Metool Daddy: (comes crashing in) Their defenses. are broken. Swarm and attack. EXTERMINATE!!!
Giant Metool: EXTERMINATE!!!!
Magnetman: NOT ON MY WATCH!
(Magnetman barrels into the Giant Metool and scrambles its circuits with magnetic waves.)
Giant Metool: EEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!
Magnetman: I don't care how many of you there are, you're all going down!
Harpoon Joe: I like your spirit! NEVER SURRENDER!
(Magnetman and the Harpoon Joe take on the giant Metools and manage to destroy both of them!)
Metool: THE LEADERS HAVE BEEN VANQUISHED!
Metool: THEN WE MUST CALL FORTH OUR CHAMPION!
Metools: COME, CHAMPION! COME, CHAMPION!
(An explosion from within G.I. Joe headquarters heralds the arrival of the Metool champion.)
Metto Man: I AM METTO MAN! I AM THE METOOL CHAMION! YOU WILL BE EXPERMINATED!
Magnetman: BRING IT!
(Metto Man is faster than expected and evades Magnetman's draw. He follows up by crashing into the western-obsessed robot master and follows it up with a Leaf Shield attack.)
Magnetman: What in tarnation!?
Metto Man: You will not defeat me! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!
Harpoon Joe: If you can't beat him, I will!
Sniper Joe 01: I'll help! Let me help! I so love to help!
Sniper Joe: Me too!
(Being mostly blind the Sniper Joe accidentally hits Sniper Joe 01.)
Sniper Joe 01: YEOW!
Hel Metool DX: YOU WILL NOT! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!
Harpoon Joe: We have to find the Metool Potton! That'll stop these monsters.
Metto Man: The only thing you have to do is die! EXTERMINATE!
Magnetman: I don't care what kinda parts of better robots you're made of, you're no match for the magnetiest of men!
Skeleton Joe: (still in pieces) Ugh, that was worse than one of my brother's.
(Magnetman uses his power to pull himself to the rafters and fires shots at the helpless Metto Man below.)
Metto Man: UNFAIR! ENEMY OUT OF RANGE!
Magnetman: Don't talk to me about unfair, I've had to deal with utter nonsense for days now!
(Magnetman leaps down and grabs a hold of Metto Man using his magnetic grip.)
Magnetman: Let it finally end!
Metto Man: EEEEEAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
(Metto Man is destroyed and the Joes surge forward.)
Apache Joe: YO JOE!!!!
Sniper Armour: You did NOT earn that "Yo Joe."
(The Joes rally and, finally, put down the Metool menace. With joy in his heart Magnetman returns to Walkman's bar for a well deserved rest.)
Magnetman: (With a bottle of whiskey in hand and a smile on his face) Back, I see.
Shadowman: Yes. Finally.
Magnetman: You look a little worse for wear.
Shadowman: I don't want to talk about it.
Hardman: "Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaarge weeeeeeeed."
Shadowman: I don't want to talk about it!
Geminiman: When did our lives become a never-ending source of humiliation?
Sparkman: I dunno what you guys are going on about: I had a great time!
Needlegal: Oh, you would!
Sparkman: You're just mad that -
Needlegal: I don't want to talk about it!
...
Snakeman: So how was your day, Mags?
Magnetman: You know, it started off bad, but I think it ended off pretty well. Had some times. Made some new friends. Granted, I never want to see those friends ever again, but you know, they really aren't bad sorts.
Snakeman: Well, I guess things turned out all right...
Topman: For some of us.
Shadowman: For, like, two of us.
Hardman: Hear hear!
Needlegal: And we learned something too....
Sparkman: I didn't learn a thing.
Needlegal: I know you didn't! Your kind never does.
Magnetman: Uh...
Needlegal: We've learned that trust is for the weak. When someone crosses you, you never forget. Ever. Not. Ever.
Magnetman: Dare I ask - ?
Shadowman: No.
Topman: Well, until we learn to trust again we are ... The Mechanical Maniacs!
Long ago, two races ruled over Earth: HUMANS and MONSTERS ROBOTS.
This fine morning the self-styled Sheriff of the Underground - Magnetman - walks towards the borders of a disputed territory...
Magnetman: Wait. No. Nonononononono, this shouldn't be happening! I should be done!
Flowey: I guess that didn't work, did it?
Magnetman: Obviously it didn't - wait a minute. YOU! You know the day's been repeating.
Flowey: ;P
(Magnetman grabs Flowey out of the ground.)
Magnetman: What in the Sam Hill is going on here, flower!?
Flower: The day's repeating.
Magnetman: I know that!
Flowey: Then what are you asking me for? I probably know even less than you do. I'm just a flower after all.
Magnetman: You're lying!! You're a lying LIAR!
Flowey: Maybe you should approach the problem differently.
Magnetman: Differently?
Flowey: I gather you're trying to resolve the Joe/Met conflict, right? And you've tried talking to the Joes a few times and that hasn't worked. Why not move on to the Mets, then?
Magnetman: .... Maybe. Maybe that'll do the trick. But those critters ain't talkers.
Flowey: In this world it's kill or be killed.
Magnetman: Yeah. Yeah, maybe it is. I know just the man for the job.
(In the Metool area of Monsteropolis (which is another similarly dilapidated city area, albeit with artillery everywhere)...)
Metool Daddy: Are the preparations complete?
Giant Metool: Yes, preparations are complete!
Metool Daddy: Then we are already to begin the assault on the cursed G.I. Joes!
Metools: EXTREMINATE EXTERMINATE!
Metool Swim: DANGER! DANGER!
Metool Daddy: What is it? What is wrong!?
Metool Swim: We are invaded! INVADED!
Metool Daddy: Is it G.I. Joe? Have they dared to assault our headquarters!?
Metool Swim: NEGATIVE!
Metool: Then what? EXPLAIN!
Metool Swim: It is the Robot Masters known as Magnetman and Napalmman!
(Just outside....)
Napalmman: YEEEEEEE-HAW! This is my idea of a good time!
(Napalmman blows up large groups of Metools with his bombs.)
Magnetman: I thought you might like it.
Napalmman: Didn't figure you as the "kill 'em all" sort, though.
Magnetman: Recent events have broadened my view of the matter.
(A swimming pool in front of the building slides open and a large robot rises from below.)
Metonger Z: HALT! I am the guardian of Metool Headquarters. YOU WILL NOT PROCEED! EXTRERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!
Napalmman: You've got less personality than Chargeman does, did you know that? I did not think that was possible, but holy fuck did you prove me wrong on that count!
Napalmman: NO TWO BIT MINION IN A CHEAP OVERSIZED TOY WILL EXTERMINATE THE PRIDE OF THE SCISSOR ARMY!
Magnetman: I'll kill you all and finally ... finally end the nonsense! Hah hah. AH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH!!
(The combination of Napalm's joyful destruction and Magnet's near-madness prove to be a lethal combination and the mad Metools are finally put down. With joy in his heart Magnetman and Napalmman return to Walkman's bar for a victory celebration.)
Napalmman: To destruction!
Magnetman: To an end to nonsense and not having to deal with Skeleton Joes! Keep those drinks coming!
Waveman: Yes, sir!
Walkman: Wow, what has gotten into you two?
Magnetman: A mission finally complete!
Napalmman: And what completion! Fire and fury eradicating idiots off the face of the planet. I tell ya, there is no better feeling than scrapping a bot that deserves it.
Shadowman: Glad someone's happy.
Sparkman: He ain't the only ones.
Hardman: Heh heh heh.
I reckon you don't wanna talk about it.
Shadowman: Indeed I do not.
Hardman: "Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaarge weeeeeeeed."
Shadowman: Shut up, Ben!
Geminiman: When did our lives become a never ending source of humiliation?
Sparkman: I dunno what you guys are going on about, I had a great time!
Needlegal: Oh, you would!
Magnetman: GUYS! This is a time for celebration!
Snakeman: Wow, that Met/Joe conflict much have been thorny if you're so glad it's over.
Magnetman: Son, you have no idea, no idea at all.
Snakeman: Well, I guess things turned out all right...
Topman: For some of us.
Magnetman: For me, at least.
Needlegal: And we learned something too....
Sparkman: I didn't learn a thing.
Needlegal: I know you didn't! Your kind never does!
Needlegal: We've learned that trust is for the weak. When someone crosses you, you never forget. Ever. Not. Ever.
Topman: Well, until we learn to trust again we are ... The Mechanical Maniacs!
Long ago, two races ruled over Earth: HUMANS and MONSTERS ROBOTS.
This fine morning the self-styled Sheriff of the Underground - Magnetman - walks towards the borders of a disputed territory...
Magnetman: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Flowey: Still?
Magnetman: I just don't ... I just don't get it. I killed all the Mets. All of them! I just don't understand. Maybe ... maybe they all have to die?
Flowey: That's a wonderful idea!
Magnetman: Yes. Yes, they all have to die. I ... I see it now. It's the only way to end the nonsense.
(Magnetman puts in a call and once more he's joined by Napalmman and a few other Ascendant Androids. Upon meeting him they utterly destroy one of the Skeleton Joes.)
Skeleton Joe: BRO!
Skeleton Joe: I still believe in you.
Magnetman: The nonsense must end!
Gravityman: I don't know what you're going on about, but if it involves death and destruction, I'm game!
Starman: But is destroying the Joes and the Mets both really right?
Crystalgirl: YOU care about what's right?
Starman: I'm a star, Crystal! I have to maintain my image.
Napalmman: Nobody cares about the Joes, grunts! BURN 'EM ALL!
Magnetman: The NONSENSE It has to end, Star. And if it's over the bodies of everyone involved then I'll do it and call it justice.
Magnetman: (over the communicator) Stoneman, talk to me.
Stoneman: Crushing these little guys is pretty fun. Chargeman is having a blast.
Chargeman: CHARGEMAN LIKE TO CRUSH TOY ROBOTS!
Metools: WE ARE NOT TOYS! WE WILL EXTERMINATE YOU!
Chargeman: HAH HAH HAH! FUNNY TOY!
Gyroman: Aren't we trying to fit into the Wily Underground, though? How is this helping with that?
Waveman: How is it not, the Mets have gone insane!
Metto Man: I WILL AVENGE MY COMRADES! EXTERMINATE!
Waveman: Nice vocabulary there.
(Back at Magnet's assault on the Joes.)
Harpoon Joe: I won't let your rampage continue. It ends here, "Robot Master!" NGAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Magnetman: That it will. The nonsense will finally end!
(With the Ascendant Androids at his side both Joes and Mets are quickly destroyed. With mixed feelings both teams return to Walkman's bar.)
Walkman: Geez, guys, what happened?
Starman: I feel ... sordid.
Magnetman: It means you've grown as a person, Star. Good for you.
Napalmman: I have to admit, now that it's over ... I'm not sure we did the right thing.
Walkman: I can help numb that feeling.
Magnetman: Well, until this day is scrubbed from my memory, I am ... a Mechanical Maniac!
Long ago, two races ruled over Earth: HUMANS and MONSTERS ROBOTS.
Magnetman: Don't you know how to greet a new pal?
Skeleton Joe: Uh....
Magnetman: Oh, wait! Your bro's coming, I'll just wait behind that conveniently shaped lamp! And then we'll go through asinine puzzle after puzzle and I'll do your word search and then, maybe, we all go on a date! And maybe this time I will eat your brother's ice cold spaghetti! I mean, why not? I haven't tried that yet, but it doesn't matter! Nothing matters!
Long ago, two races ruled over Earth: HUMANS and MONSTERS ROBOTS.
Magnetman: YOU KNOW MORE THAN YOU'RE LETTING ON, FLOWER!
(Magnetman rips Flowey from the ground and starts choking him.)
Flowey: *ACK* I really don't ...
Magnetman: LIAR! You like watching me suffer. Well, I'll make YOU suffer right alongside me if you don't help me end this. NOW!
Flowey: Alright! Let me down and I'll lead you to -
Magnetman: Who do you think you're dealing with - Hardman? I ain't trusting you. You'll lead me where I need to go and you'll do so right here in my hand.
Flowey: R-right.
(Flowey leads them away from Magnet's well-trodden path down a route he hasn't gone though before...)
Magnetman: If you're leading me astray, you WILL NOT escape me next loop, flower.
Flowey: I'm not. It's just this way. A little further now.
(Magnetman walks a bit further and is genuinely surprised when he's stabbed right through the chest.)
Magnetman: *GAKKKK!*
Flowey: Y O U I D I O T . In this world it's kill or be killed.
Long ago, two races ruled over Earth: HUMANS and MONSTERS ROBOTS.
Magnetman: YOU BASTARD!
Flowey: ;P
(Flowey dives quickly into the ground as Magnetman draws and shoots his gun.)
Magnetman: Ah, well. Rockman Shadow. That changes one or two things. I think I know what I'm dealing with now. Giddy up.
(Elsewhere...)
Rockman Shadow: You just keep coming back, don't you? Why don't you just stop?
Quint: I will never stop, villain! I'm the oncoming storm, the coming darkness. From across time and space I let it be known that this world is PROTECTED. So, yes, I will come back again and again and again if need be to stop you!
Rockman Shadow: Of all the pretentious -
(With a roar of annoyance Rockman Shadow attacks Quint with his sword, but he jumps out of the way with his Sakugarne.)
Rockman Shadow: GET HIM!
Metool T: EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!!
Quint: No lousy Metool will stop me!
Powmettaur: METOOLS ARE NOT 'LOUSY!' Metools will destroy you and everything you've been sworn to protect!
(The Powmettaur lands on top of Quint, knocking him from his Sakugarne.)
Quint: GYAHHHH!!
Rockman Shadow: This is the end for you, 'brother!' But don't worry. I won't leave anyone in want of protection. Nobody will come looking for you for I shall become you!
Quint: You're insane!
Rockman Shadow: Not at all. Future advancements will allow me to take your entire identity. Not only the minimal differences in design, but also your weapons, your memories, your entire self. Of course, under it all, it shall still be me.
Metool T: ALERT! ALERT! INTRUDERS APPRACHING!
Rockman Shadow: What?
(Metools are blown apart by Hard Knuckles.)
Hardman: Sorry to break it to you, but I'm gonna break YOU to pieces!
Magnetman: YOU! You're the one that's been driving me nuts, aren't you!?
Rockman Shadow: I have no idea what you are talking about. Metools! ATTACK!
Magnetman: SHUT UP! I have heard that line all too often today!
(Magnetman uses magnetism to brutally take apart the attacking Metools.)
Topman: Geez, you're reacting a little ....
Magnetman: I AM IN NO MOOD!
Snakeman: When did you get so cranky?
Geminiman: He's always cranky.
Snakeman: I know that it's his "thing," but geez.
Shadowman: Never mind Magnet's attitude, we have Metools to take down!
(The Mechs attack the Metools as Magnetman goes for Rockman Shadow himself firing Magnet Bullets all the while.)
Magnetman: AGAIN AND AGAIN WITH NONSENSE! I thought it was me, but NO! It was YOU the entire time!
Rockman Shadow: How did you figure it out!? I reprogrammed the Metools everywhere in order to distract you people and Quint has been here the whole time. HOW DID YOU SEE THROUGH MY PLAN!?
Magnetman: You might say ... a little talking flower told me!
Rockman Shadow: That doesn't make any sense!
Magnetman: WEL NEITHER DOES MAKING THE DAY REPEAT!
Rockman Shadow: That sounds nightmarish. Here's another one I was saving just in case something went wrong. COME OUT!
(From out of Rockman Shadow's mysterious green box comes a roiling mass of bubbles floating quickly towards Magnetman.)
Magnetman: (rolling to get away from its tendrils) WOAH!
Nightmare Virus: ...
Rockman Shadow: Like it? It will wipe away everything about yourself leaving you free for me to command!
(Magnetman shoots at the Nightmare Virus, but his attacks don't have much effect.)
Magnetman: Damn it, damn it, damn it...
Rockman Shadow: (Turning to a Met-fighting Quint and drawing his sword) And now, to finally take my place in time's great play.
(Shadowman Emerges from the shadows in front of Quint and parries the maddened robot master with his own sword.)
Shadowman: I don't think so, greenie.
Rockman Shadow: BAH!!
(As Shadowman battles Rockman Shadow the Nightmare Virus reels from Sparkman's electrical attacks.)
Sparkman: Looks like I've got this jerkass on the ropes.
Needlegal: My Needles are hurting it too, but not as much as I'd like.
Magnetman: Keep firm, we'll wear it down eventually.
Powmettaur: THIS CANNOT BE! I CANNOT BE DEFEATED!
Hardman: (While delivering a crushing uppercut destroying the oversized Met) The bigger they are, the Harder they fall!
Topman: Really?
Hardman: Heh. I couldn't resist.
Snakeman: You are better than that, man. I mean ... it's bad enough that it's a pun, but a cliche too?
Hardman: Used wisely both are just fine.
Topman: Wrong.
(Geminiman gangs up on Rockman Shadow with his own blades drawn as he continues to fight against Shadowman.)
Geminiman: Care if I cut in?
Shadowman: Not at all.
Geminiman: We'll finish this ...
Geminiman: With style!
Rockman Shadow: No .... no ... !
(Geminiman finally gets the upper hand, breaking Rockman Shadow's sword.)
(Everyone turns to witness the Nightmare Virus' loud death and Rockman Shadow slips out of reach, bolting for his Time Skimmer.)
Geminiman: Damn it!
Rockman Shadow: Until we meet again! And we will meet again.
(The Time Skimmer fades from sight as Rockman Shadow makes good on his escape.)
Magnetman: (falling to his knees in relief) It's over. I mean ... it's gotta be done now.
Geminiman: Between us and the Androids I think our Metool problem was handled as permanently as possible.
Magnetman: No, I mean it's finally over! The day. I think I can finally move on.
Snakeman: What are you talking about?
Magnetman: We'll walk and talk. I can still use a stiff drink.
(With confusion in their hearts Quint and the Mechs head to Walkman's Bar. There they all get drinks as Quint puts the pieces together for them.)
Quint: Alright, I think I know what happened here.
Magnetman: Do tell because I am so done with this.
Quint: Despite the time loops we are both suffering from residual memory damage. From a psychic attack.
Magnetman: That green psycho said his ping-pong lackey would wipe my mind out. You think that could have done it?
Quint: Possibly. Probably. What if ... what if your first loop wasn't your first loop?
Magnetman: Eh?
Quint: What if Rockman Shadow was entirely successful the first time around? He was out to replace me and he had backup in case anyone interfered. Backup that could erase a person's mind.
Magnetman: ...
Quint: I have a theory. I think Rockman Shadow came here and was completely successful in killing me and stealing my identity somehow. But, what if he could not dispose of my very core? What if it transferred to him and the guilt he inherited from me caused him to try and "reset" his mistake using components from his Time Skimmer.
Needlegal: And you think that's what happened?
Quint: I do.
Magnetman: But what about me? How did I get mixed up in it all?
Quint: I think the course of your investigation into the Mets led you to Rockman Shadow's location when he was in the middle of working on reversing time. He probably sent out the Nightmare Virus to stop you from interfering and it likely succeeded in wiping out your mind, but you were still caught up in the chronal storm caused by Shadow looping time. Only you didn't remember the initial loop thanks to the attack you suffered. For you the second time was the first time and, for whatever reason, you were diverted from Rockman Shadow until the last loop.
Magnetman: But why would Shadow try again if he could remember it failing?
Quint: Don't you see? He didn't remember! He messed with his own mind by downloading my AI into his before the loop was over, but those changes just didn't carry over after the loop was complete. When time carried on he didn't remember the previous timeline, unlike you. However he must have known something was off, at least subconsciously, because he had to have changed locations to avoid your interference. It likely took me different amount of times to find him because of it.
Topman: So complicated.
Snakeman: But I think that answers everything.
Magnetman: No it doesn't! What about that damned flower!? He knew time was looping too!
Quint: Have you seen the number of robots down here? He was probably just hanging around when it happened and was inadvertently caught up in the initial chronal burst a time loop would cause. He was likely just messing with you.
Magnetman: So he wasn't, I don't know, the god of hyperdeath or something silly like that?
Quint: Why would he be? He's just a flower for pete's sake.
Snakeman: Well, I guess things turned out all right...
Magnetman: At long last.
Topman: Can we have learned something from all this? We only came in at the end after Mags demanded we drop everything and help him stop time shenanigans. Which had to be better than whatever Sharkman had planned.
Needlegal: We learned that if at first you don't succeed, try and try again. Look at how many time Mags failed to stop time from looping. But he kept at it and eventually solved it. So I guess we also learned that sometimes you just have to ask for help.
Shadowman: I think we also learned that you have to think outside of the box. The answer wasn't going to the Joes or the Mets. He had to find the real cause of the trouble and solve that.
Needlegal: Shadow.
Shadowman: Yes?
Needlegal: Morals are my thing.
Shadowman: Sorry.
Needlegal: No. No sorry. Just don't do it again. Morals. They're my thing. Mine.
Hardman: I've gotta wonder what happened to Sharkie's idea without us.
Geminiman: I also wonder. It seemed like we were set for a fun adventure.
Magnetman: Spark and Hard seemed to have a good time anyway. I think you were all better off skipping it.
Sparkman: We gotta call up Shark and see where that went. I really wanna know.
(At that very moment...)
Sharkman: (Bursting into the bar with several other figures) BARKEEP! A round for me and my friends!
Walkman: Shark! I'm glad to see you around! So glad you're here.
Sharkman: Awwwwww, shucks.
Walkman: You haven't paid your tab and I ain't serving you anything until you do.
Skeleton Joe: So it's a problem with money is it? Then allow the great Skeleton Joe to pay for my newest friend!
Magnetman: No. No it can't be.
Walkman: Really? Well, alright.
Skeleton Joe: You guys take BitZenny payments, right?
Walkman: What?
Skeleton Joe: It's the latest thing! One BitZenny is worth ten or twenty of the more traditional Zenny. You have GOT to try it.
Walkman: Alright! I'll hook you up and get you a pitcher. Wave!
Waveman: On it, Walk!
Sparkman: So the job went well?
Punk: I'll say. Sharkman's a genius!
Reggae: Yeah! A genius!
Hardman: And you made some new friends.
Sharkman: When you dudes bailed I went to Joe territory to see who I could grab. Then I met these guys! They're a riot!
Skeleton Joe: It's a pleasure tibia pal!
Sharkman: LOL! The puns! They're sick!
Sparkman: So you used that green Energen to get the Galactic Council so high they'd be kicked out of Monsteropolis in a populist uprising?
Punk: Uhhhhhhh ... no.
Reggae: No.
Skeleton Joe: Well, they wanted to do that, but it seemed like a better idea would be to give it to some RPD officers on guard duty.
Punk: Genius!
Reggae: Pure genius.
Skeleton Joe: I haven't eaten so many doughnuts in my entire life!
Skeleton Joe: BAH! You and your doughnuts.
Skeleton Joe: It's not like I'll get fat. I'll just get bigger bones.
Walkman: Here ya go, gents! Some of the special stuff thanks to those BitZennys Skeleton Joe gave to me!
Skeleton Joe: And a hearty thanks to you, barkeep!
(Sharkman, Punk, Reggae, and the Joes chug down beers as Walkman's face goes white.)
Walkman: What th- HEY! The value of this stuff just shot down to nothing!
Punk: What?
Skeleton Joe: Yes, well, that does happen on occasion. When you're as great as I am you don't sweat small stuff like that.
Walkman: "Small stuff!?" Sharkman ran up one hell of a tab!
Skeleton Joe: Well, as a great man once said. He who pays and runs away lives to pay another day! NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!
(Skeleton Joe scampers off and Walkman sputters.)
Walkman: HEY!
Punk: Maybe his bro will - and he's gone!
Magnetman: Yeah, he's pretty great at disappearing.
Walkman: Well, one of you guys are gonna pay for this or Napalmman is gonna have a thing or two to say about it.
Topman: Well, until someone else is allowed to come up with a moral, we are ... The Mechanical Maniacs!
By
Gauntlet (Shadowman)
Flowey: Howdy! I'm Flowey! Flowey the flower presenter!
Flowey: HEY!
Magnetman: Now lessee here. Past the ruins of some battle or sumsuch ... through a door ... a door ...
Croaker: Ribbit ribbit. (I heard using "F4" can make you have a "full screen.")
Magnetman: That's nice. (where's that door?)
???: Robot. Don't you - 
Magnetman: GYAHH! 
Skeleton Joe: Anyway, you're Magnetman, right? That's hilarious.
Skeleton Joe: You know what "sup," brother! It's been eight days and you still haven't recalibrated. Your. Puzzles! You just hang around outside your station! What are you even doing!? 
Pipi: Ice to meetcha!
Sniper Joe: Did something move? Was it my imagination? I can only see moving things. If something WAS moving ... for example, a Met... I'll make sure it NEVER moves again!
Snoler: I am a snowman.
Bomber Pepe: I don't understand why these aren't selling... It's the perfect weather for something cold... OH!!! A CUSTOMER!!!
Sniper Joe 01: Heya, heya! 
Piriparee: What's that smell?
Crystal Joe: Where's the smell? 
Walkman: Sure thing, bud.
Waveman: (runs up, happy to be a part of the conversation) Yeah? 
Truck Joe: I await your command!
Harpoon Joe: NGAAAAAHHHHHHHH! HOLD THE LINE, JOES!
Hammer Joe: We're gonna die, aren't we? Oh, man, we're gonna die.
Machine Gun Joe: ... yes.
Flowey: :)
Flowey: ;P
Sniper Armour: Nice to meet you?
Apache Joe: State your business!
Metool K1000: METOOLS DO NOT "STAND DOWN!"
Space Metool: THERE WILL BE NO NEGOTIATION!
Flowey: I mean, it's worth a shot, right? : :P
Fire Metool: I will burn you all! EXTERMINATE!!!
Metool Mommy: You will not eradicate my children! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!
Metool Daddy: (comes crashing in) Their defenses. are broken. Swarm and attack. EXTERMINATE!!!
Giant Metool: EXTERMINATE!!!!
Metto Man: I AM METTO MAN! I AM THE METOOL CHAMION! YOU WILL BE EXPERMINATED!
Hel Metool DX: YOU WILL NOT! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!
Shadowman: Yes. Finally.
Hardman: "Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaarge weeeeeeeed."
Geminiman: When did our lives become a never-ending source of humiliation?
Sparkman: I dunno what you guys are going on about: I had a great time!
Needlegal: Oh, you would!
Snakeman: So how was your day, Mags?
Topman: For some of us.
Flowey: In this world it's kill or be killed.
Metool Swim: DANGER! DANGER!
Napalmman: YEEEEEEE-HAW! This is my idea of a good time! 
Metonger Z: HALT! I am the guardian of Metool Headquarters. YOU WILL NOT PROCEED! EXTRERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!
Gravityman: I don't know what you're going on about, but if it involves death and destruction, I'm game!
Starman: But is destroying the Joes and the Mets both really right? 
Crystalgirl: YOU care about what's right?
Stoneman: Crushing these little guys is pretty fun. Chargeman is having a blast.
Chargeman: CHARGEMAN LIKE TO CRUSH TOY ROBOTS!
Gyroman: Aren't we trying to fit into the Wily Underground, though? How is this helping with that?
Waveman: How is it not, the Mets have gone insane! 
Sharkman: DOOOOOOOOOOOODS! We gotta run from the fuzz! This new, green Energen - is the shit, yo!
Galaxyman: Follow them! Onwards!
Tornadoman: We can't let them infect anyone else! FOR JUSTICE!
Concreteman: I'm not sure what's just about this. They are wasted. They can't even - 
Torchman: ONWARDS!
Snakeman: Can we forget about those?
Flowey: *ACK* I really don't ...
Rockman Shadow: Too true, flower. Too true.
Quint: I will never stop, villain! I'm the oncoming storm, the coming darkness. From across time and space I let it be known that this world is PROTECTED. So, yes, I will come back again and again and again if need be to stop you!
Metool T: EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!!
Quint: No lousy Metool will stop me!
Powmettaur: METOOLS ARE NOT 'LOUSY!' Metools will destroy you and everything you've been sworn to protect!
Hardman: Sorry to break it to you, but I'm gonna break YOU to pieces!
Shadowman: Never mind Magnet's attitude, we have Metools to take down!
Nightmare Virus: ...
Shadowman: I don't think so, greenie.
Sparkman: Looks like I've got this jerkass on the ropes.
Needlegal: My Needles are hurting it too, but not as much as I'd like.
Topman: Really?
Geminiman: Care if I cut in?
Geminiman: We'll finish this ...
Hardman: I've gotta wonder what happened to Sharkie's idea without us.
Punk: I'll say. Sharkman's a genius!
Reggae: Yeah! A genius!
