Series 9 Issue #19 - Ranked Robots

Plumb: It's been a mere day since those horrible, horrible people, the Mechanical Maniacs killed our beloved hero, Megaman, and the city is still reeling in shock. The mayor and Chief of Police gave the following commentary.

Mayor: Our fair city is in crisis! However, we have things well in hand. We'll hunt down those responsible and bring them to justice!

Plumb: Mr. Mayor, how can you hunt them down if you can't even find them?

Mayor: Good question. It's my understanding that they've gone into what we've been calling the "Ne'er-Do-Well Nether Regions."

Crorq: Actually, they call it the "Wily Underground."

Mayor: (Annnd you couldn't have waited until after the press conference to tell me that?) This region is the oldest level in out multi-leveled, multi-faceted city. All known access routes have been cut off. What's more, the surrounding levels are under severe disrepair, making exploration hazardous. Nevertheless my administration remains committed to hunting down these vile traitors.

Crorq: Indeed! As of today I have sent out all special teams to hunt down the Mechs and bring them to justice! They have cut down this city's favourite son - and my personal inspiration. I cannot believe I worked with those ... people ... for so long and never saw them for the scum they were until it was too late. But I swear to you all that the Mechanical Maniacs will be hunted down and destroyed!

(Meanwhile, in the Wily Underground...)

The Dream Team: ♩ For they are jolly good fellows!
For they are jolly good fellows!
For they are jolly good fellows~! ♩

Stoneman: ♩Which nobody can deny!♩

(Walkman's bar erupts into cheers as celebrations continue throughout the Underground.)

Shadowman: Thank you, thank you.

Walkman: Another round of drinks for our new heroes!

Expressman: I gotta admit, I didn't think you'd be able to fit in here, but - wow!

Topman: Heh, yeah.

Magnetman: *humph*

Needlegal: No! Nonononono. It's like I said before, we travelled back in time and the Wily of the past -

Expressman: Haw! Aw, man, no need to be humble. Take yer props when you earn 'em.

Shadowman: Yes, Needle. Take. Your. Props.

Crystalgirl: Tell us once more how you bested that blue menace.

Hardman: Yeah, I'm a bit unclear on that too.

Shadowman: Aw, you don't wanna hear that old yarn.

Doc Robot: Tell Doc Robot a story!

Junkman: We all love us a good story.

Chargeman: (Peering in from an open window) CHARGEMAN LOVE STORY!!

Torchman: *mumble grumble mumble grumble*

Walkman: Yeah, why not?

Heatman: I hope it involves burning.

Shadowman: Eh, it wasn't really a big deal. We led Mega on a merry chase around the city as the rest of the Mechs distracted the Sterling Sentinels and the ... whatever Light's new version of the Sinister Six calls themselves.

Bitman: Word down the grapevine says it's "The Chibi Six."

Geminiman: That sounds like something Cutsman would come up with. *shudder*

Shadowman: It was an intense fight. I used my Shadow Warp to come up behind him while Needlegal - (don't give me that look Needle) - came at him with her Needle Cannon! But Rush was there and the twerp used his Rush Drill to come at us! Needle was down and I had very little energy left at this point. We traded blows. I, with my trusty Shadow Blade and he with his damnable dog.

(The bar fills with silence as Shadowman continues his story.)

Shadowman: But the dog only has so much energy, even if he does have multiple forms. And Megaman has been out of action for a while. And, I think it was ultimately that that proved to be his undoing. That and, of course, his arrogance.

Needlegal: Oh, boy.

Shadowman: We did not lead him into that area by chance. Working under the quietest conditions Geminiman, Snakeman, and Magnetman -

Magnetman: Hey, wait a second, I don't think I want to be involved with -

Shadowman: Created a very simple death trap for the blue bomber. He rushed in headfirst and, knowing he was coming, I dove into a dark hole. Using my Shadow Warp, I naturally escaped damage, but our blue friend could not. Powerful magnets latched onto him and drew him close to the floor and into a specially-made spike trap designed by none other than Needlegal -

Needlegal: Hey, that's -

Shadowman: Don't be so humble, you deserve your share of the credit! Down he went and then - ptooptooptooptoo! He burst into little exploding balls of blue lights.

Flashman: HAW! Love it.

Blademan: Spike traps! A classic!

Metalman: They do have their appeal.

Heatman: Awww. I was hoping for more burning.

Napalmman: Why? We've heard this story fifty times by now!

Gravityman: But it never gets old!

Barrageman: Unit Barrageman agrees. Finally Master Wily has been avenged!

Multiman: Yep! Wish it coulda been us who did the deed, but it's the results that count.

Doc Robot: Oh, Master! Are you looking at us now? We've done it!

Wave Woman: I'm sure good 'ol Doc Wily is looking at us right now on his hidden security cameras and is saying, "good job, guys! I knew you all could do it!" ◎[▪‿▪]◎

Doc Robot: Do you really think so!?

Needlegal: (whispering) Laying on a bit thick there, aren't you?

Shadowman: (whispering) Yeah, well, why not? If the entire world thinks we've killed Megaman we may as well play the part and reap the benefits since we'll get the hassle no matter what we do.

Magnetman: (whispering) I may be an outlaw now, but I don't appreciate you dragging my name through the mud.

Geminiman: (whispering) Our names are already mud. I, for one, also wish to reap the rewards. Why not? We're still stuck here. At least now not everyone we used to fight hates us.

Sparkman: (whispering) Hey, so far, so good, amirite?

Snakeman: (whispering) I really don't know how to feel about this...

Waveman: Well, I've got to hand it to you guys. I think we now know who here's the strongest robots of all, right?

(The bar goes dead quiet.)

Waveman: I mean, uh, ... since all of us tried to kill Megaman and failed.

Bubbleman: Yeah, I'm with Waveman. I guess that makes the Mechs the strongest robots here.

Waveman: And Shadowman and Needlegal at the top of the list since they're the ones who had that last fight with him.




Shadowman: (whispering) Oh, Christ. What have you done, Waveman?

Quickman: Excuse me? Ah, they're the strongest?

Waveman: Well, they did beat Megaman.

Quickman: So what? You don't get to be strongest just because you lured the blue bomber into a spike trap. The strongest should be the one who can give him the most trouble. The one who can land multiple attacks in a blink of an eye. In other words, the fastest. In other words, me.

Expressman: Oh, you did not just go there!

Quickman: What?

Expressman: Nobody can outrace Expressman! Especially not an antique like you.

Quickman: Antique!?

Expressman: And you're not even really "quick," man. You have a time distortion device that warps reality around you.

Flashman: Too right. With my Time Stopper I can freeze time and seem to instantly appear in another place -

(Flashman freezes time, walks behind Quickman and resumes it once more.)

Flashman: In an instant!

Quickman: Argh! That hurt!

Flashman: With my Time Stopper I can deliver twenty hits in the time it takes you to deal out one. Compared to me you're a slowpoke.

Quickman: A slowpoke!? Why you ...

Metalman: Ex-cuse-me, but who cares how much damage you deal out in a second if it's just a love tap each time? My Metal Blades are multi-directional and rapid fire. They are the strongest weapon and I, therefore, am the strongest robot.

Doc Robot: Unless someone already has your weapon, weakling. I, Doc Robot, have the weapon and attack data from all of Wily's robot masters including all of you! I am as quick as Quickman, can stop time like Flashman, can throw Metal Blades, Shadow Blades, and even have the Thunder Beam (which can blow that mega dweeb up in only three hits.) I am the strongest robot Wily ever made!

Napalmman: Well, maybe you're the strongest robot Wily made, but he's nothing compared to General Cutman. And of his robots only I am the absolute fucking strongest there ever was or ever will be! I can level cities with my bombs and there ain't no escape. Not if yer fast, not if you stop time for a while. You are going down!

Crystalgirl: Yeah, but you're not exactly the brains of the group are you?

Napalmman: What!?

Stoneman: Ah, who needs brains? This ain't Jeopardy! And this ain't a contest of who can blow shit up. We're talking strength and nobody beats me on that front! With complete control of stones I'll clobber anyone who says different! Wha- ?

(Stoneman flails in the air as Gravityman chuckles.)

Gravityman: Just "being strong" isn't that great. Not if you can't land a punch while you're floating helplessly in the air.

Barrageman: Unit Barrageman can fly and negate Unit Gravityman's power! Unit Barrageman is strongest!

Doc Robot: So can I and a number of others. Don't get cocky.

Torchman: SILENCE! I can't believe I'm seeing this. Bickering over who is strongest? As if it is not already obvious? For it is none other than I - TORCHMAN!!!!!

Oilman: Oh, here we go.

Torchman: You fools. None of your powers compares to the might of the Torch Arm! Elegant in its simplicity. Devastating in its effect! I need no fancy gimmicks with my mighty Torch Arm at my disposal.

Quickman: Of all the nerve.

Doc Robot: Doc Robot even has your Torch Arm.

Torchman: You merely have out basic abilities, Doc Robot, not abilities augmented by our Transmetal Armour.

Napalmman: Or General Cutman.

Crystalgirl: The deranged moron has a point there, Doc.

Gyroman: Wait, which is the deranged moron?

Crystalgirl: I have to pick?

Waveman: Yeah, well, none of you managed to kill Megaman, did you? That was Shadowman and Needlegal. That means they're the strongest.

(The bar's doors are kicked open as a group of robots enter the now chaotic establishment.)

Multiman: Aw, shit. It's this guy.

Bass: Who's the strongest!? And who killed Megaman!?

(Everyone in the bar shies away from Shadowman and Needlegal.)

Magnetman: (whispering) Okay, I know Bass, but who are those other fellas with him? But if they have some long, complicated history forget it.

Snakeman: (whispering) Actually, we've never met any of them before. I mean, I think we've run into Bass sometime, but the rest? They don't ring a bell.

Crashman: (whispering) Okay, here's the deal: Reggae's the moronic bird. Punk's the moronic big green guy. W. Waltz is the fashion crime. Piano's the maid.

Magnetman: (whispering) Since when's Punk green and round?

Crashman: (whispering) Since when are you a cowboy?

Magnetman: (whispering) Touché.

Geminiman: (whispering) But since when are they all here? The last I heard, Bass was some kind of wandering asshole, picking fights with whomever he thought was strongest.

Crashman: (whispering) Oh, he's still an asshole. The Underground's a big place. It's full of Wily's old robots, Masters, Mets, and whatever. You haven't met everyone yet.

Metalman: Fellas!

Blademan: Hey, guys! Long time, no see!

Bass: Shut up.

Punk: Yeah, Blademan. Shut up. Heeeeeeey, Bass. What's purple, yellow, and black and all over?

Bass: What, Punk?

Punk: Metalman, after we paint him up to look like Blademan.


Bass: Hilarious.

Reggae: Hee hee hee! Good one, Punk!

Doc Robot: Bass! You're actually here! Are you finally going to join the Wily Return Force?

Bass: Yeah, sure.

Doc Robot: Really!?

Bass: Oh yeah. Just set up a room for me over at the base and I'll be right there.

Doc Robot: YIPEE!!!

Expressman: Uh, boss...

Doc Robot: Expressman! Get it ready!!

Expressman: Yeah, this is the third time he said he'd hook up with us and -

Doc Robot: And it's finally happened!

Expressman: *sigh* No! He's just -

Doc Robot: Expressman, get to it! Don't keep Bass and all his cool friends waiting.

Expressman: *sigh*

(Expressman walks out the bar slowly as Bass snickers after him.)

Punk: Good one, Bass.

W. Waltz: That was so razor.

Bass: Thank you.

Blademan: That was so awesome!

Bass: Shut up. Now, then. I hear some people thinking that I'm, somehow, not the strongest bot here in the Underground. So, time to step up and take this outside.

Waveman: (Points to Shadow and Needle) It was them! They said they were the strongest in all the world now that they beat Megaman.

Shadowman: Thank you, Wave. I think we can handle this.

Waveman: No problem, #1.

Bass: Ah, yes! So, not only do you call yourself the strongest, but you ALSO killed Megaman. You know he was MINE to kill, jerk. Not yours.

Topman: What, like you called dibs?

Piano: He actually did.

W. Waltz: Baller move. It was soooo sexy.

Bass: And now you and me'll settle this like men. You and me! Right here, right now! Unless ... yer chicken!

Needlegal: Chicken?

Shadowman: What!?


Reggae: Hee hee hee! CHICKEN!!! They're scared!

Metalman: Yeah, I knew it.

Sparkman: I don't even know how to respond to this.

Needlegal: I have a response. No.

Blademan: CHICKEN!

Bass: I knew it.

Needlegal: I am not involving myself in a schoolyard fight.

Sparkman: And it really wouldn't settle things. I mean, we had a lot of conversation about who was strongest going on before you guys barged in.

Napalmman: That's right! And it ended with everyone agreeing on me!

(Everyone groans.)

Crystalgirl: You're embarrassing us!

Gravityman: Because I'm clearly the strongest.

Bass: No, I'm the strongest!

Doc Robot: I actually have all the powers of -

Oilman: We know, you can shut up about it!

Barrageman: Unit Barrageman does not like Unit Oilman's tone.

Oilman: You can bite my unit, Barrageman.


Bass: Obviously there is only one way to settle things. An underworld-wide tournament!!!

(Later, the Mechs convene at their newest apartment.)

Snakeman: I'm so glad everyone shot down that shitty tournament idea. I mean, come on! What world does that guy live in?

Hardman: It's too bad we still didn't escape the whole "Ranked Robots" challenge.

Shadowman: The hell we didn't. We're sitting this out.

Geminiman: We are not! This is our chance to really get what we need.

Hardman: Explain.

Geminiman: The entire Underground is going to move. And look at this. It's been lost in the hubbub of Megaman "being killed" but it's the answer to many of our problems.

(Geminiman turns on a video and the Mechs crowd in to watch.)

Ripot: I'm here with Mr. Holzenbein on his fantastic new power source.

Mr. Holzenbein: Indeed.

Ripot: Some call this the cure for our current energy crisis.

Mr. Holzenbein: It's exactly that. There seems to be no end to the amount of Dark Energy we can generate. As you know the Energy Crystals used to create regular Energen are becoming increasingly scarce, even on our mining worlds. Dark Energy is the answer. It's much more powerful than regular Energen and it can be generated seemingly without end and to no ill effect.

Ripot: That seems wonderful! But what's so "dark" about it?

Mr. Holzenbein: It gets a little complicated, but it's all about how we extract power. Dark Energy can be extracted from the dark matter of the universe itself. One without end, it seems. I can't claim all the credit for this discovery, however. The beautiful and brilliant Terra's access to extraterrestrial technology held the secret to extracting the power. And I must give credit to Crorq. Despite some ... well, let's call them eccentricities he's truly masterful with his calculations.

(Geminiman stops the video.)

Topman: So ... we steal some Dark Energen cubes?

Geminiman: You're thinking too small. I say we steal a Dark Energy generator!

Magnetman: Yeah, that sounds about as good as another hole in the head.

Geminiman: It'll be plenty useful!

Magnetman: Yeah. Sure. Look, I've got better things to do than participate in some bosh plan that'll go nowhere. Mark my words! You guys go on and have your fun. I'll stay here and bend an elbow.

(The Mechs leave their apartment to find a very large, very impressive portrait of Bass on the side of their building giving a middle finger to them with the words "Mechs suck, Bass rules" in large letters.)

Topman: What? The? Shit?

Piano: It's to let you know that you suck.


Needlegal: I gotta say, as much as I'm insulted at least it's well done.

Piano: You're pathetic. And we'll beat you in this contest. You're on notice, Mechs.

Punk: Yeah! On notice!

Reggae: Yeah! You've been noticed! Notified! Noted! Uh ... notarized? What?

Piano: (Rolls her eyes.)

Punk: Let's just ... go.

Piano: You're on notice, Mechs.


Plantman: Get away!

Blademan: HAW HAW HAW!!!

(Blademan cuts down Plantman's Plant Barrier and Torchman razes plants to the ground.)

Plantman: Why are you doing this!?

Sharkman: DIG IT!! We wanna prove we're the best and what's better than raiding the best place for weed anywhere, ever!? NOTHING!!

Plantman: I, uh, don't have anything like that here.

Sharkman: Suuuure ya don't. Like I didn't use any of yer special red sun radiation weed to get Superman super high.

Plantman: ... what!?

Torchman: Give us your weed or face our blazing wrath!!!

Wave Woman: Yeah! ლ(́◉◞౪◟◉‵ლ

Oilman: I hate you people so much.

(And elsewhere...)

Napalmman: What better way to prove I'm the strongest than TAKING OUT THE LEGENDARY SINISTER SIX ALL BY MYSELF!!! LINE UP TO GET SPANKED!!!

Cutsman: Ooooooo! So tempting! But it's the Chibi Six now.

Gutsman: So yer one of those people, eh?

Bombman: I stopped watching TV for this?

(Napalmman fires a Napalm Bomb at the Six and the scatter, barely avoiding the blast. Iceman immediately faints.)

Iceman: It's ... too hot you guys.

Elecman: WHOA!

Bombman: Whoa is right, Electric man. He really -

Elecman: He's gonna be out new bestest friend!

Fireman: Oh goodie! A new friend.

Napalmman: Uh, what?

Gutsman: He's too much of an meanie to be our friend, Fire.

Napalmman: Uh, I think I may have got you guys mixed up with someone else.

Elecman: No, you've got the right group, new friend.

Napalmman: You know what? FUCK IT!! The world would be better off without you people!

Crystalgirl: (Hiding) Hah! This is going to be fun. You just get deeper and deeper into your own bullshit, don't you?

Fireman: But I don't see any bullshit anywhere, new friend.

Crystalgirl: Oh no.

(And Gravityman faces the entire RPD forces.)


Officer bot: What the heck!?

Officer bot: Oh man, this brings me back.

SWAT bot: Don't admire him!! DESTROY HIM!!

(K-9 units attack Gravity, but he laughs and launches them into the air.)

Gravityman: Mwah hah hah hah hah - eh?

Gyroman: Comin' through!

(Gyroman attacks the RPD forces, gunning them down left and right.)

Gyroman: Gravity means nothing on me, bucko. I am the strongest out there.

(Gyroman then flies right into the gravity well created by a Black Hole Bomb and screams in pain.)

Galaxyman: Looks like some people just can't play nice.

Gravityman: Oh hoh hoh hoh hoh! Here comes a new challenger.

Galaxyman: Yeah, you think you're hot stuff, but you're not the only one who can mess with gravity.

Gravityman: Oh, but I will be.

(And, elsewhere...)

Expressman: And that's another ATM outta cash! The quickest is the best.

(Expressman clobbers an older security guard and rushes out of a small bank with another bag full of cash.)

Expressman: Sometimes the classics are best. And when it comes to making a speedy transaction, nobody can beat Express - eh?

(Expressman gives a start as he's suddenly relieved of the bags of cash he was holding.)

Quickman: Good idea, second place.

(Quickman rushes off with Expressman hot on his heels.)

Expressman: Why you - !

Quickman: You know, I've been waiting for a chance to put you in your place.

Expressman: Is that right!? Is that why you spend the day with your hands under your ass instead of helping us take over the world for the days the master returns?

Quickman: Oh give it a rest with that "master" crap. Wily is dead and gone!

Expressman: LIES!

(Both robots are brought to a halt and the money is scattered everywhere by a mystery attacker.)

Quickman: What!?

Centaurman: Speed isn't everything. Distorting reality beats running fast any day. And, money? Really? I thought you two were better than that.



Tomahawkman: ACK!

(Bass delivers blow after blow and Tomahawkman struggles to keep up.)

Bass: He's a weenie! You should call yourself weenie man!

W. Waltz: HAH! Good one, Bass. You're soooooo razor.

SWAT bot: What does that even mean!?

(W. Waltz eviscerates the SWAT bot easily.)

W. Waltz: Something like that, loser.

Reggae: Good one! HAW!

Punk: Hey, Waltz! Speaking of razors, check this out!

(Punk transforms into a saw blade and attacks Knightman who struggles to defend against the attack.)

Knightman: ACK! You uncouth fiend!

Punk: HAW!

Tomahawkman: I thought you had finally decided to fight on the side of justice, Bass. Wasn't that what happened all those years ago?

Bass: Nothing as lame as that. I just wanted to prove I'm the baddest robot out there. And I'll do it by beating the snot out of punks like you!

Punk: Huh? You wanted something?

Bass: NO!


Trio: What is happening out there!?

Ra Moon: It appears that the criminal element has decided to run wild.

Tar: They're making a mockery out of all of us!


Ra Moon: No. Continue my full body massage.


Princess: I'm itching to kick some ass.

Trio: Yes, this affront cannot be left to - eh?

(Alarms go off throughout the Ivory Tower.)

Tar: It appears someone dares attack us!

Barrageman: (from outside) Unit Barrageman challenges the Galactic Council! Unit Barrageman is strongest there is!

Princess: Oh no he didn't!

(The ground rumbles as the RPD headquarters nearby is threatened.)


Princess: I'll deal with the runaway train.

(Princess flies off.)

Trio: My presence must remain a secret. Handle this!

Tar: I will attack that green bastard!

Trio: Ra Moon!

Ra Moon: Busy.

Trio: GRaaahhh!!

(The interior rumbles as hordes of Doc Robots swarm the tower.)

Doc Robot: (Multiple) I will find the Council and take them apart! Doc Robot is the strongest! FOR MASTER!!!

(Starman fries Doc Robot copies and RPD forces in the Ivory Tower.)

Starman: Not if the star of the show has anything to say about it!


Starman: Fwah hah hah hah hah!

(Terra explodes onto the scene, sending Doc Robots and RPD troops flying.)

Officer bot: WHY!?

SWAT bot: We're on your side!

Terra: Oh, be quiet. So, a wannabe Stardroid has his sights set on assaulting this base. And you think you shine better then me, do you!? Is that why you're shining so bright!?

Starman: Ummmm

Terra: And you! Do you think you're better than me because of your abilities, Doc Robot!?

Doc Robot: Well, Doc Robot thought so...

Terra: Primitive Earthen scum! I'll show you the true meaning of power!!!

(Barrageman continues to destroy the building.)

Trio: Ra Thor! GET OUT THERE!


Tar: Leave that green upstart to me!

Trio: What is that blubbering boob Crorq doing!?



SWAT bot: Right, chief!

Shakeman: Uh, do I really need to be included in this?

Crorq: YES!

Airman: Nobody can defeat me! I'll prove that I am strongest!

Heatman: BURN! BURN!

Flameman: I think I might have been the wrong one to call on this gig.

Pharaoh Woman: By RA! It, uh, sure is hot in here.


Pharaoh Woman: Only one weakness!? How impressive!

Flameman:Well "impressive" is one word you could call it.

Crorq: My stratagem is perfect! Fight fire with fire!

Airman: Oh, you think so!?

(Airman fires tornadoes at Crorq and his men, enveloping them all in flames!)


Shakeman: AHH! AHH! AHH! I feel something! I feel something!

Heatman: Hee hee hee! I'M BURNING!


Stoneman: I ... I can't move!

Waveman: What's this!? THIS IS A JOKE, ISN'T IT!?

Concreteman: Haw! All in a day's work.

Hornetman: Someone get the SWAT units here.

Magmaman: The RPD's swamped with all this mess.

Diveman: So much for Crorq and his so-called organization.

Drillman: There's a conspiracy afoot. Why else separate us?

Jewelman: Just be careful. You can't tell what - HEY!

Reggae: MINE!

(Reggae struggles to life a struggling Jewelman as the others are engaged in an assault by W.Waltz, Punk, Piano, and Bass.)

Drillman: I KNEW IT!

Bright Babe: Keep it together, guys!

Bass: Together or apart, I'll take you all on!

(Bass fires a Silver Tomahawk at the group, surprising them all and the battle is joined. As chaos erupts all over the city with each individual trying to prove they're the strongest, the Mechanical Maniacs are on the outskirts of the city, below the main level, making their way quietly to the new Dark Energen Power Plant.)

Hardman: And nobody else is worried about how little resistance we're finding?

Sparkman: For the thousandth time, everyone we know (and some we don't) in the Wily Underground is topside out there proving they're "the strongest."

Geminiman: Leaving the power plant unguarded.

Hardman: And you expect to just ... steal ... an entire reactor!

Snakeman: You didn't listen at all, did you? With Crorq distracted I was able to hack into the plans for this place and Spark had a good long look. Most of it is just standard issue stuff as power plants go. Only the main component of the reactor is really important.

Sparkman: And I set up the teleporter in a nearby power plant to receive it. I mean, I'll still need to install it, but the thing really can just be teleported out.

(The team makes their way down the plant, dispatching what little resistance they find. Until they find...)

Sparkman: The main reactor!

Geminiman: It's ours!

Hardman: Well ... it's impressive, I'll give ya that.

Torchman: AND IT'S OURS!

(The Mechs whirl around to see the Sinister Six saunter in behind them.)

Bitman: What'd I tell ya? "Follow the Mechs. Those guys are always up to somethin'."

Wave Woman: And you were right, Bitty! <('o'<)

Sparkman: Oh, what!?

Needlegal: You followed us!

Topman: You stinkers!

Oilman: Yes, well, that's why we're the strongest. We let you come up with the plan, the execution, and the follow through while we take the credit.

Hardman: But you still have to get by us and that ain't happening!

(Hardman shoots a Hard Knuckle at Oilman, but the slippery robot master's coated himself in oil. He slides easily by the Knuckle and follows that up with drenching Hardman in oil.)

Oilman: Torchman, if you please?

Torchman: One roasted Mech, coming up.

Topman: Ohnoyadon't!

(Topman sends a whirling kick into Torchman, but is soon met with a large shock as he's almost immediately hit with the Bit Cannon!)

Needlegal: Oh, you will NOT show us up - URRK!

(Sharkman erupts form the ground, chomping down on Needlegal.)

Sharkman: Sorry 'bout this! No hard feeling, right? LOL!

(Shadowman tries to dive into his shadow and attack elsewhere, but he's skewered by a surprisingly fast Blademan.)

Blademan: Not so fast, smart guy!

Wave Woman: AIEEEE!! \(゜□゜)/

(Wave Woman stumbles around, trying to avoid a Gemini Laser.)

Geminiman: Uh ...

Wave Woman: (Continuing to run around) IT'S CHASING AFTER ME!! ((>д<))

Geminiman: Well, now I just sort of feel bad.

Sparkman: Come on, we can't let these losers show us up!

(Sparkman unleashes a powerful electric attack on Oilman, but Bitman intercepts it.)

Bitman: I don't know where you've been, but we haven't been "losers" in a very long time.

(Bitman unleashes an attack and charges at Spark. While Spark is able to dissipate most of the electric blast Bit still rams into him.)

Torchman: YES! Fight on, my compatriots! Those Mechs thought they were strongest? HAH! It is to laugh. Can you be truly strong when born with a silver spoon in your mouth? Can you be strong when all the world loves you FOR NOTHING!? I think not!

(Torchman firs in random direction, hitting the oil-soaked Hardman completely by accident as he's avoiding Blademan's own random attacks.)

Hardman: (Erupting into flames) AW, crap! DAMMIT!

Oilman: Uh, you might wanna watch out there.

Torchman: You Mechs and your litany of lies! YOUR LIES! You think you are strongest? If you were so strong, why did you lie to gain your notoriety? YOU DID NOT KILL MEGAMAN AT ALL, YOU DAMNED LIARS!

Shadowman: Uhhhhh

Needlegal: I told you.


Needlegal: Whuuuuuuuuuuuuut?

Shadowman: I told you.

Wave Woman: Oh, Torchie, how could you? (⊙﹏⊙✿)

(The Gemini Lasers finally catch up to Wave as she's caught up with emotion.)

Wave Woman: EEEOWCH! \(@O@)/

Geminiman: SORRY!

Topman: Seriously, she can't even fight back. Stop picking on her.

Torchman: Yes, I did it. I wanted to see exactly how you upstarts would exploit the lies that seemed to spread around you. And you sure came up with large ones. What gall! Not only did you accept whatever came your way, but you also claim to be the strongest of us all? HAH! You are not strong. Strength comes not from lies such as yours.

(Everyone turns in disbelief as Torchman continues to lay it on thick.)

Torchman: ALL WHO KNOW US FEAR US! AND FOR GOOD REASON!! Now that Megaman is no longer here to shelter ones such as you, there is nowhere left for you to hide! And now we have you cornered here in this facility! Like Megaman, none shall find your body! And like Megaman, all shall cheer upon your death!

(The lights throughout the facility flicker and the constant hum dips down.)

Sparkman: What was that?

Oilman: WAVEMAN!?

Sharkman: Eh?

Waveman: That's right! We followed all of you!

Bubbleman: Now all this power shall be ours!


Sparkman: Hey! You can't just hook yourselves in like that!

Snakeman: You idiots!

(The power plant groans as Wave and Bubble push it to capacity. Reactors explode as it's pushed beyond capacity due to Waveman and Bubbleman's incompetence.)

Torchman: ... It all goes according to my plan.

Sparkman: OH SHUT UP!


(Torchman launches himself at Shadowman and won't let go.)

Shadowman: What the freakin' hell!?




Waveman: I think we may have made a mistake.

(The power plant explodes sending Monsteropolis into a city-wide blackout.)

(Later, everyone regroups at Walkman's Bar...)

Waveman: Thank you so much for saving me. I ... I really didn't know you cared!

Blademan: (Sighs loudly) neither!

Waveman: Give it here, best friend!

(Waveman hugs Blademan.)

Blademan: Aw, come on!

Bubbleman: Don't forget about me!

(Bubbleman also hugs Blademan.)

Blademan: Aw, man! Weak!

Bass: I woulda had 'em all too if you losers didn't get in my way.

Punk: Hey! It's not my fault! It's all Reggae's fault!

Reggae: HEY! IS NOT!

Punk: IS TOO!

Waveman: So, since it was Bubble and me who destroyed the new power plant, are we technically the strongest here?

Bubbleman: Do we win!?

Bass: NO!!!

Torchman: Fallacy!

Napalmman: SHUT UP, DIPSHIT!

Multiman: I got us the most snacks while we were all out and that's more than any of you managed to do. I say I win!

Metalman: I stuck a Metal Blade right in that blowhard Crorq's face, I win!

Starman: I shone the brightest!

Barrageman: Unit Barrageman -

Torchman: Can shut himself down! It's time to hear the truth!

Oilman: Oh, not again with that nonsense.

Woodman: I'm the strongest!

Flashman: You and I weren't even up there.

Woodman: Right. We stayed here safe and sound, making us the smartest and, therefore, strongest.


Heatman: I can make you burrrrrn.

Junkman: I canna be destroyed!


Magnetman: So, how'd the plan go?

Topman: Shut. Up.

Magnetman: What? It blow up in your faces? Who could have seen that coming?

Hardman: Nobody likes a smart ass.

Magnetman: Not when they're so consistently wrong.

Snakeman: Well, I guess things turned out all right...?

Geminiman: Really? Because it seems like we wound up worse off than before.

Snakeman: Yeah, but ... you know. Overall. I mean we're still here to talk about it.

Sparkman: I'd rather we didn't. Talk about it, I mean.

Needlegal: And we learned something too....

Sparkman: Oh we are gonna talk about it still. Great.

Needlegal: We learned that pride comes before the fall. Look at us. We were ready to hype it up, but Shadowman ruined it for all us us by really hamming our part up and getting us in even more trouble than we started out with!

Shadowman: Hey!

Needlegal: And Torchman could have left well enough alone. The Underground could have had its own reactor. But he couldn't and he screwed us all over. And look at Bass. Does anyone actually think he's the strongest now? I think not.

Geminiman: I'm certain he'll beat up anyone who says anything to his face.

Topman: Well, until we finally have our ranks all sorted out we are ... The Mechanical Maniacs!

The End


Leon as .....
Raijin as .....
Psycho Magnet as .....
Ben as .....
    Nightmare as .....
Lennon as .....
Sheriff (Kassidy) Mags as .....
Gauntlet as .....


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