Gauntlet: I’m glad you all could come at the last moment… Can we take a role call?"Collision Course"
By Ben
The Megaland Universe…
Narrator: In the Technodrome Gauntlet assembles all the allies he can find at a moment’s notice in one “Pseudo” Mega Man United team…
Gauntlet: I’m glad you all could come at the last moment… Can we take a role call?
Andon: I’m here…
Dust Man: Mphhh-hmmm!
Heat Ma’am: The Kebster is here with her assistant Bob….
Bob: Who said I was your assistant, Keba?
Heat Ma’am: Oh hush before I flush you down the toilet…
Gauntlet: Ahem! Resume role call!
Ice Man: The Ice Man cometh!
Bomb Man: Uh… I’m here. Am I dreaming again?
Andon: No Scott dude you’re awake.
Magnet Man: Present
Gemini Red: Here
Needle Gal: Here
Clown Man: (Runs in) Sorry I’m like, my ball got a flat…
Gauntlet: And that makes eleven of us… excellent. Now we can proceed with the…
Ice Man: So Gauntlet, why did you assemble us here? I have pranks to play.
Bomb Man: Yeah and I need to steal Cranky Kong’s stuffed potato recipe.
Gauntlet: SILENCE!
Everyone: (…)
Gauntlet: Good. About two hours ago Super Chaos and the PC Robot Masters broke into the technodrome and entered Earth-Prime through our dimensional portal. We sent our best probes to find what little we could of this earth to find it’s still the year 2001.
Clown Man: What? 2001? So they’re savages!
Dust Man: Mph muphmmmmmm!
Gauntlet: We got our equipment through the will of the X-Force, which vanished 100 years later. That we’d get the contents of Armory Zero… You guys at S6 HQ have Chibi MD don’t you?
Ice Man: Yeah that’s why Tim, Jason and IRA aren’t here.
Andon: That child is a handful I’ll tell you, but I wonder what happened to his dad Ben…
Heat Ma’am: (Pictures Magma Dragoon getting flushed down the toilet.)
Ice Man: (Pictures Magma Dragoon being vaporized by a new gun Double made)
Bomb Man: (Pictures himself eating Cranky Kong’s stuffed potatoes)
Ice Man: (Slaps Bomb Man)
Bomb Man: Ow! Whyda do that for?
Ice Man: Think on subject!
Gauntlet: Anyway the chances of coming back to Megaland are slim to none, without the help of our lovely new slaves. Dyna Man, Volt Man and Sonic Man (don’t ask why they are our slaves)!
Dyna Man: We’ll make sure the portal stays open and will annihilate any intruder that comes our way!
Gauntlet: Glad to hear it. Now what do you guys stay about a dangerous mission into the unknown?
All: Yeah! (Rush into the portal)
Gauntlet: (Sigh)(Runs into the Portal)
Sonic Man: Excellent. Now that they are through the portal we can at least trap some of our enemies in that alternate dimension!
Volt Man: Close the gate!
16:34 MST… October 12, 2001… Nanton, Alberta… Prime Universe
Narrator: Our hero of the Prime Universe, Ben AKA Magma Dragoon rests at a truck stop in the vast prairies of Alberta while checking on the teams progress via e-mail on his laptop.
Ben: (Types)
Hey Rob,
I’m starting to see why I named you interim leader of the X-Force, Most of Double’s reploid-producing plants so far except for the one in the Sahara. I’m sure you’ll find it soon enough, meanwhile the search for my sister has become fruitless, I went up to St. Albert to check with her best friend Jess to see if she came her way. Indeed she has but she left a couple weeks ago into the United States. So I’m following her south into Montana. Hopefully I’ll find her soon, good luck and I hope I can rejoin the X-Force again.
Toodles!
Ben
Ben: (Sighs and takes a sip of his pop)(Opens a file of a picture taken from the family’s trip to Florida)((I miss you all, even Myron. But I guess things were meant to be this why.)) (Hears something inside)
Gauntlet: How was I to know that my homemade Maverick Virus wouldn’t work?
Magnet Man: It was your virus why didn’t you bother to test it?!?
Andon: Calm down guys! We could all use a rest in this truck stop… and find out where we are.
(Door rings; minutes pass as the Megaland Heroes are seated. Ben listens intently as they argue.)
Clown Man: (Takes a sip of his coffee) This stuff sucks!
Gauntlet: I believe we have more things to worry about than coffee in this desolate town. Where are we again?
Ice Man: I think the waitress said we were in Nanton, Alberta.
Bomb Man: So where in the US of A?
Ice Man: It’s in Canada you idiot!
Technovice: BREEP! BREEP!
Megaland Heroes: (!)
Ben: What? It’s my beeper… (Looks at it) hmmm… (Walks up to the counter) Hurry miss change the channel to 27…
Waitress: Okay, but you better have a good reason for this hon…
TV: Breaking News on CNN… Right now in Denver, a cabal of reploids declaring themselves the Sinister Seven all attacking the city…
Gauntlet: I wonder how that guy knew to change to CNN…
Andon: I suggest we all raise our voices and teleport!
Gauntlet: “Everyone Reunite”
(Nothing happens)
Bomb Man: It didn’t work…
Gemini Red: Of course it didn’t, the laws of physics must be different in this realm.
Needle Gal: Either that or since we crossed an interdimensional barrier, our teleporters must be fried.
All: (…)
Gemini Red: So what? We all hang with Gauntlet, what did you think what useless facts we’d come across?
Gauntlet: I agree however, we must find a way to get to Denver.
Ben: ((These guys are weird, I better give them the slip and open a teleporter door)) (Opens one and runs through it)
Andon: I think we might (points to the teleporter door) If we all hurry we might get to…
(Everyone squeezes through it)
Ice Man: (Grunts) Jon! I think your elbow is in my eye…
Clown Man: Uh… sorry…
POP!
(Everyone lands in Denver)
Super Chaos: So you dare defy me human? You are bolder than any of your puny species!
Ben: At least I don’t look like I burst out of Marlon Brando’s gut!
Ice Man: HAHAHAHAHA! That’s a good one, but we all know that he spawned out of Scott’s belly!
Bomb Man: Why you… (Ice Man and Bomb Man start fighting)
Super Chaos and Ben: (…)
Ben: (Sigh) (Pulls out Technovice) TECHNOVICE! Armor up to…
(Ben transforms into…)
MAGMA DRAGOON! Flames of Compassion!
Super Chaos: Impossible! How could you…?
Ben: Oh quiet down please (Blasts Super Chaos with a fireball)
(Ben jumps around pummeling each member of the PC team)
Ben: (Notices Oil Man running like a sissy) Hey what you afraid of? FIREBALL!
(Oil Man bursts into flames and runs around screaming like a little girl)
Oil Man: (Screams) Help me! HELP ME!
Wave Man: (Cools him down with water) There you go sissy…
(Ben runs towards Wave Man full force)
Blade Man: I got you where I want you… (Fires the Blade Launcher)
Ben: Uh oh… (Jumps) (The blade hits Wave Man in the eye)
Wave Man: OW! Watch it you son of a…
Super Chaos: Enough! (Slams Ben into a fire hydrant)
Ben: Oooooh…
Super Chaos: (Fires Thick Laser at Ben)
(Ben crashes through a building)
Dust Man: Mph mummmmmph!
Andon: I know Dust Dude but let’s see how “Magma Dragoon” can get out of this one…
Gauntlet: Who cares? We came her to stop them and stop them again we shall… (Pulls out the 8-bit Gun) EAT THIS!
(Nothing happens)
Super Chaos: (?) I created that thing, why didn’t it degrade me? Ah, it doesn’t matter… THICK LASER!
(Everyone scatters)
Andon: Oy that’s it! Why do you wish to conquer the Earth? Dude wouldn’t you be forced to abdicate in like 2 days because you couldn’t control the population? You guys are about as dumb and cliched as they come…
Clown Man: Have you lost marbles?
Andon: (Whispers) Trust me…
Everyone: (Groan)
Super Chaos: You fool! Because… because… why are we trying to overthrow their governments?
Blade Man: Actually, I don’t know.
Shark Man: I guess that’s the way Dr. Wily programmed us.
Bit Man: I just wanted all the pretty girls to dance for me…
Gauntlet: Must recalibrate for universal shift… and there I’ll compensated for our trip to Earth-Prime… (Fires the gun)
(Super Chaos and the PC Robots go 8-bit)
Super Chaos: Curses foiled again by that gutter punk…
Oil Man: How embarrassing…
Torch Man: At least we learned that you scream like a schoolgirl…
Oil Man: Oh shut…
(Gauntlet traps them in a jar)
Gauntlet: And that the end of this chapter…
Heat Ma’am: Finally but how did you get such a Kawai jar?
Gauntlet: Another thing out of Armory Zero these jars have virtually infinite space. So if when Super Chaos and the others revert to their previous states they won’t bust the jar.
Heat Ma’am: So I can stuff Bob in there…
Bob: Don’t even think about Keba!
Andon: Dude! We need to find a way back to our world, otherwise were trapped on a planet with…
Gemini Red: Oh no! Not…
Needle Gal and Magnet Man: Magma Dragoon!
Bomb Man: Look it’s a swarm of skeeters coming this way!
Ice Man: Then why should we be worried? We don’t even have blood!
Gauntlet: (Takes out spyglass) That’s not a swarm of mosquitoes it’s like a fleet of Sentinels… Sentinels? Is this the Marvel universe? Hurry everyone! Before we…
(The Mechanauts fire on the group)
Andon: What’s this? They aren’t attacking the humans…
Mechanaut 1: Freeze reploids, on behalf of the United States government… (Heads get sliced off by a trio of diamond saws)
Ice Man: Ah, shut it you steel drum…
Andon: (Fires bolts of electricity at them) The government… I’ve should have known they’d do this to innocent reploids but how did they get the technology?
Magnet Man: (Fires a couple Magnet Missiles) Well it doesn’t matter because we (gets hit) ARGH!
Gauntlet: (Tries to dodge one blast only to get hit by another) ARGH! Too… many… of… them…
Bomb Man and Andon: ARGH!
Clown Man: I can only keep one step ahead but they keep on coming…
Ice Man: Try to keep your cool fellow prankster…
???: SOUL BODY!
Ice Man: Who in the heck?
Needle Gal: I don’t believe it…
Rob: (Slices through one Mechanaut) Believe it!
(Gary and Rob land)
Ben: (Changed into Flame Dracon) FIRE SHOTGUN! I called them in when I saw them on the horizon…
Gary: (!)
Ice Man: (!)
Gary: Holy Crap!
Ice Man: Is it really?
(A Mechanaut uses his taser on both)
Ice Man and Gary: Ouchies!
Rob: Ben! I called in some help from!
Trevor: MANTA BLASTER! (Blows up three Mechanauts)
Marc: Hi Ben, finally we get to see the leader in action…
(Many of the Mechanauts try to intercept them)
Marc: (Sigh) Some never learn why they call me the “Air Commander”. HYPER TYHPOON!
(Everyone ducks as the Mechanauts lose stability and crash into various parts of Denver.)
Trevor: (Lands) We never trained for giant robots… who were they…
Ben: Mechanauts. Big ruthless robots with a mad-on for reploids, the Human Supremacy League under contract of the United States created them. Let’s see what model this Tin Can is…
Andon: (Groans) Uh, Excuse me but we would like to help and all. But you guys are obviously capable of handling them and we need to find a way back to Mega Land.
Gary: Mega Land? No wonder my Eskimo self is here…
Ice Man: Ah, I’m no Split Mushroom wannabe…
Ben: Are you guys finished yet?
Everyone: (…)
Ben: These Mechanauts are Crane Industries Roman-B-Epsilon prototype model. Weird though, the were the model Britain ordered…
Gauntlet: (!) Where did you get that information?
Ben: I’ve done a lot of hacking in my day, I’ve even gotten word that they even have interdimensional technologies that you guy may need to get home.
Marc: Wouldn’t Crane Industries have enough security to take us all on.
Ben: And this coming from a guy who blew a fleet of Mechanauts away…
Needle Gal: Crane Industries? Why does that sound familiar?
Magnet Man: Yeah I remember hearing that name when you watch… uh oh…
Gauntlet: Well if it’s a free ticket home, should we accept the X-Force’s offer?
All: Hell yeah!
Ben: So listen up this is the plan…
20:01 AST… Crane Sigma Technologies Compound… Near Boston…
Alistar: So our line of Mechanauts failed to apprehend those fools called the X-Force? ARGH! Incompetence!
Mr. Borwin: Maybe so, but we could field test the Roman-X-Omega prototype on them.
Alistar: Not yet Mr. Borwin. We still have a few adjustments to make on it, but if push come to shove… well you know.
Mr. Borwin: You look stressed sir, is something wrong?
Alistar: Ever since I’ve reproduced I’ve had nothing but hard times trying to keep this empire under control. My son is a worthless incompetent that failed to give me any worthy heirs; my daughter is romancing the one man who suspects us of what we did to one Martin Fitzgerald…
Mr. Borwin: Whatever happened to him sir?
Alistar: Stick to your on business Mr. Borwin. You’ve been an excellent employee but…
KA-BOOM!
(The head office shakes)
Alistar: Who in the Crane’s good name is that?
Mr. Borwin: (Gets on the phone) I don’t believe it… Sir it’s an army of reploids, they’re attacking the base!
Alistar: Dispatch the Mechanauts! And dispatch Roman-X-Omega… I want them annihilated!
Outside in Sector 2…
Ben: The Mechanauts are coming! You know what to do Andrew…
Andrew: Right… (Flies up towards the Mechanauts)
Gauntlet: What are you planning to do?
Ben: Andrew has the ability to keep those bots in a magnetic field and reprogram them to attack the next wave of Mechanauts. Clearing an escape vector to the portal section in the neighboring sector… Now move…
(The Heroes make a break for it when…)
X-Omega: Halt! You are trespassing on Crane Industries! Prepare for annihilation.
Ben: X-Force… ATTACK! (Jumps X-Omega)
X-Omega: Execute Attack Patter Delta-Charlie-Epsilon… (Throws Ben with the Gravity Repulsor)
Ben: Ugh! Rob! Alon! Attack pattern A-403!
Alon: Do you even know what he’s talking about?
Rob: No, but hit the bastard anyway!
Ice Man: Shouldn’t we be helping you?
Gary: No just make it back home! Look, I wish you could stay longer, but we need to stop the production of Mechanauts… NOW GO!
Bomb Man: But!
Andrew: (Drops from the sky) SHIELD OF LIGHT! You heard the man (Creates a force field) GO!
Andon: They’re doing it so we can go back.
Clown Man: But shouldn’t they be in our universe?
Gauntlet: I don’t think so, Maybe they’re here for other reasons…
(Thus the Megaland heroes run off)
(Meanwhile, Alistar tries to flee from the compound from his limo)
Alistar: I’m going before I get killed.
Mr. Borwin: But what about your employees?
Alistar: I can always hire new ones. Even one to take your place, give me a call if you survive. Adieu!
(Thus the limo drives off)
Mr. Borwin: It is true what they say about the rich, they’ll run with their wealth at the first chance they’ll get.
(Back to the Battle with Roman-X-Omega)
X-Omega: Destroy!
Alon: REVERSE FUSION! (Freezes X-Omega in a block)
X-Omega: (Shatters the ice) Destroy all reploids!
Alon: Oh shit! We throw everything we have at it but it shrugs it off…
Ben: Maybe we need to strike from a safer distance… Trevor! Come in Trevor!
Trevor: Trevor here, uh what do you need Ben?
Ben: We need an air strike! Pronto!
Trevor: Copy that, but what about Alistar Crane?
Ben: What?
Trevor: Alistar Crane is trying to flee…
Ben: Grrrrrr… leave it to me… Ben out…
Rob: Ben… What’s wrong?
Ben: It’s Alistar Crane, he’s trying to get away!
Andrew: So?
Ben: I’m not letting him get away with what he’s done in the past… and Andrew?
Andrew: Yes?
Ben: Give everyone some protection. Trevor’s going to blow up this very spot. (Flies off)
Andrew: (Sees the two bombs coming) SHIELD OF LIGHT!
KA-BOOM!
Meanwhile in the Portal Technologies Sector…
Andon: Inverse the coordinates… carry the two and multiply by four… and there this portal should take us back to the Technodrome…
Ice Man: I feel kinda dirty for leaving Ben here…
Heat Ma’am: Yeah, this place is so kawai! It would be a perfect place to exile Bob!
Bob: You wouldn’t dare Keba!
Heat Ma’am: Who’s stopping me?
Gauntlet: Now enough, since we have the coordinates back home and to the Prime Universe we can come back anytime we please…
(The portal opens)
Dust Man: Mph Mphhhhhhh!
Gauntlet: We’ll see them again undoubtedly… when Super Chaos attempts escape again…
(The Megaland Heroes depart)
Alistar: Faster! We’re almost… (The limo’s engine gets punctured by Ben)
(The limo crashes into a dumpster)
Ben: (Opens the door and grabs Alistar) Come here you piece of white garbage…
Alistar: White garbage? How dare you…
Ben: Yeah, I dare. You think because of your money that you have the keys to the world. Guess what we’ve just had a transfer of power…
Alistar: Hah, with all my resources I could… (Ben slaps him, shattering his jaw)
Ben: You and you class make me sick. You deserve to die! (Breaks and twists his arm)
Alistar: (Moans in extreme pain)
Ben: With all your resources you could possibly blow up New York City, but I? I can do it with a snap of my fingers. You and the Human Supremacy League are deluded because you have all this technology, but we’re Titans among men… (Crushes Alistar’s legs)… We could annihilate you too easily…
(Ben lifts the limo and drags Alistar’s body beneath the tire)
Ben: I want you to know this before you die… (Rolls Alistar’s head so he faces him)… that I know what you did to Martin Fitzgerald…
Alistar: Mphhhhh! MPHHHHHH!
Ben: Now go to hell Alistar…
(Ben releases the limo and hears the SQUITISH! Of Alistar’s head being splattered by the limo’s weight.)
Rob: Come in Ben!
Ben: Ben here. Did it work?
Rob: No and he learned that Alistar Crane is dead.
Ben: What?
Rob: Personally Ben, I’ve known you for well over a decade. When I see that bloodlust in your eyes, who am I to stop you?
Ben: Good point…
Rob: I’ll have time to think about it later, but you don’t…
X-Omega: Halt reploid you murdered Alistar Crane
Ben: Well I loved seeing that (expletive deleted)’s head becoming street pasta…
X-Omega: Prime directive revised: Destroy any reploid that poses a threat to the Crane Empire…
Ben: You are more talk than action. Bring it on trash can…
X-Omega: Repulses online… (Fires a blast that throws Ben into a warehouse)
Ben: GAH! That did hurt… (Scans X-Omega for any weaknesses)
X-Omega: Switch to Anti-Matter Cannon… (Cannon glows with Anti-Nuclear Power)
Ben: (Spots a series of microscopic fractures) Aha…
(Ben runs further into the warehouse)
Ben: We are hurting him but not with full force… (Looks around to find that this is a weapons warehouse) (Clicks on insignia) Rob come in…
Rob: Hey Ben? What’s up?
Ben: This compound maybe is useful after all. How long can Andrew keep up a shield?
Rob: I don’t know, about three months I figure.
Ben: Good, I’ve been thinking. We could use the sigma technologies here for our own use. When I finish with X-Omega-Geek here we could loot it and use it for our own ends.
Rob: Roger, I’ll get everyone on it over…
Ben: See you soon over.
X-Omega: Scanning for Reploid signatures… subjects found: 1
Ben: (Finds a sword) Whoa, nice design… (Picks it up) I wonder what it can do… (Slices a cabinet of weapons in half) Holy Crap!
X-Omega: Surrender now or…
Ben: Save it you (slashes at X-Omega)
(X-Omega’s metallic skin opens up and heals itself)
Ben: (!)
X-Omega: My skin is made of a polymorphic titanium/polymer alloy… too bad I can’t say the same for you… (Blasts Ben with a stream of Anti-Plasma)
Ben: (Grunts) Won’t… Ugh… give… up… (Fights the current and staggers towards X-Omega)
X-Omega: Impossible! You can not resist my… (Arm gets sliced off)… ARGH!
Ben: (Sword glows with heat energy) NOW DIE!
(Before X-Omega can regenerate, Ben severs his other limbs and his head)
X-Omega: 101101000111… Can’t…110011101… Die… 100111011… Like…
Ben: Time to finish you off… (Sword glows white storing maximum heat energy) NOVA BURST! (White-hot plasma discharges, vaporizing X-Omega’s head)
Narrator: Ben too exhausted to move collapsed in that warehouse, unexpectedly when he powered down. A furry paw fell down…
Ben: (Groans) Too… tired…
Several hours later…
Rob: So Andrew, Alon… when can you transfer the supplies to our destination…
Andrew: Within moments, I’m reprogramming the remaining Mechanauts to bring the environmental machines to the South Pole as we speak.
Gary: Have you forgotten something?
Andrew: We have secured the compound, reprogrammed the Mechanauts, and salvaged 90% of the supplies of this compound. I don’t know, what is missing?
Gary: It’s Ben, it’s been about five hours and he hasn’t shown up yet.
Alon: Damn, I never noticed. I wonder what happened to him?
Rob: According to the Technovice readings he powered down 4 hours 39 minutes ago. He’s not responding to my hails and quite frankly I’m worried… Andrew have you tracked his signature?
Andrew: Yep, he’s in a weapons warehouse in Sector 5.
Rob: Gary, Rick you come with me. Andrew you keep in touch with the flyers to see if they see him on the move.
Andrew: Got it.
So… 19 minutes later…
Gary: Got word from Marc and Trevor, Ben hasn’t been found on the move.
Rick: (Looks at a limo with Alistar Crane’s dead body under it) Ugh. I’m going to be sick…
Gary: This has to be Ben’s handiwork. How is he capable of killing people so gruesomely?
Rob: It’s only happened once before. If you guys prefer it, we can put his body in a steel drum and send it to Julian if you wish. Personally he was deserving of it after what Ben told me of what happened to so many people.
(The trio walks into the warehouse)
Rick: What did he do?
Rob: Too many bad things, hell he made people disappear. The most notorious being a man named Martin Fitzgerald; even Ben can’t piece it all together.
Gary: So why would he do such a thing?
Rob: Why else? To preserve the Crane Empire, they have their hands so dirty; at this point it would be too impossible to wash them…
(They all come across a fallen cabinet)
Rob: Rick? Do your stuff…
(Rick makes a webline and shoves the cabinet out of the way)
Rick: Oy that was a toughie…
Gary: Andrew, where is Ben?
Andrew: He’s up two aisles and then turn right Gary…
(Everyone follows Andrew’s instructions and where they find in Ben’s place an unconscious Tails-like fox lying there.)
Rob, Rick and Gary: (!)
Gary: Holy, it’s Pyro da Fox!
Rick: How can that be, he dumped that identity months ago.
Rob: Andrew, you’re in charge here. Make sure X-Force City is built from here…
Andrew: Should I warn you that Mom is expecting us at…
Rob: Call her up and say a crisis came up or anything. The Dragoon is now The Fox, I repeat The Dragoon in The Fox!
Alon: What?
Andrew: Say what again?
Megaland…
(The heroes return with their comrades waiting)
Guts Man: Hey Gauntlet, we heard you guy disappeared…
Gauntlet: What about Sonic Man, Volt Man and Dyna Man?
Gemini Blue: We made sure they were… um… properly disposed of…
Hard Chick: Anyway, did you find anything new?
Andon: Yes, remember when we heard the X-Force disappeared 100 years later?
Top Man: Who hasn’t?
Cut Man: It’s been too quiet here.
Andon: Well we know where they went.
Guts Man: What?
Ice Man: It’s true, they are in an alternate universe warding off dangerous reploids. I don’t know if they’ll ever come back… I’m starting to miss Ben…
Bomb Man: (Cries) me too…
Andon: Dude, you are frightened to death of him, logically you should be happy.
Bomb Man: But I miss him going through the fridge every night…
Guts Man: Well it’s assuring that we know that they still exist and thanks to Gauntlet…
Andon: …and me.
Guts Man: …and Andon, we have a means of visiting their universe.
Top Man: Well now that’s settled… until we next visit the Prime Universe… we are the Mecha Maniacs…
Guts Man: …With the Sinister Six…
Clown Man: … with Clown Man…
Dust Man: Mph Mphhhhh…
Heat Ma’am: …with ChibiKeba and Bob…
Bob: G’night AMERICA! (Brings out a cigar) Have a lovely evening and no refunds to this epilouge starting… … … … Now! Ha Ha Ha!
The End?
Heat Ma’am: Ooh a question mark… it sounds so ominous nest-ce pas?