Annihilation
The Best Way Possible!
(3:00 PM)
Naomi: Good Afternoon, Oniichan!
Carlos: (yawns) Good Afternoon, Naomi.
Yamatoman: Lemme guess-
Carlos, Yamatoman: Man, I'm hungry.
Naomi: (sigh) Although I'd hafta get used to this, at least I'm with Oniichan again!
(downstairs)
Carlos: Hey Sam, Want something at the Aojima?
Sam: Nah.
Carlos: Anyone else?
Others: No thanks.
Carlos: ...Anything at the 'Movie Sign?'(a joke for MST3K fans-Midori)
David: The Last Samurai! Ha, ha!
Carlos: ...Don't make me recreate the 'Pineapple scene' in 'Little Nicky.'
David:...
Carlos: OK, that settles it! I'm-
Hobo: "Dude, Where's My Car!"
Carlos: Huh?
Hobo: Y'heard what I said, ya fat sack o' crap-
Carlos: (dashes, holds hobo by the neck) Alright, ya old fart! Quit the crap and leave me be! I'm trying to live here while you stay here on your bony ass when you should be getting a friggin JOB!!
Hobo: I'll shut up if ya gimme "Dude, Where's My Car"...
Carlos: ...Alright... (runs out)
Hobo: So, he's the only member of this place with a DVD player?
Cyros: Basically, yeah.
Johnathan: If you couldn't tell, he's the grand-nephew of Arsene Lupin.
Hobo: ...Sorry, I don't listen to hip-hop...
(Movie Sign, Carlos is about to leave)
Clerk: Okay, you've got 'Preaching to the Perverted,' 'Underworld,' Lupin III-Love Heist,' and ...'Dude, Where's My Car?'
Carlos: Well, some old fart told me he'd shut up if I rented it for him.
Clerk: ...Oh. But I'm warning you, the 'extra features' disc is not to be played, for pure evil is encoded in it.
Carlos: Um, yeah. Thanks for the warning, I think...
(back at the NG's house)
Naomi: Oniichan, do you think that the hobo is able to use DVD's?
Carlos: No, that's why I'm doing it for the old man. (loads disk) Remember, I'm keeping watch, because I don't normally let people into my room, okay?
Hobo: Whatever.
(after the film)
Hobo: (He's asleep. I'm gonna play the other disk.) Carefully, carefully... (switches disks) Ah, there's a trailer for a sequel!
Carlos: (wakes up) WHAT?!
Naomi: Oniichan, what are you gonna-
(DVD player bursts into flames)
do...
Carlos: Get out! I'll give you 2000 Zenny if you just get out of my room!
Hobo: 2000 Zenny? Whoopee! I'm gonna get me a bottle of vodka! (runs out)
Carlos: ... (pulls out fire extiguisher, puts out flame)
Yamatoman: I guess that we have some more work to do.
Carlos: Exactly.
Naomi: What work, Oniichan?
Carlos: Stop Hollywood's next weapon of mass distortion.
Yamatoman: First Tom Cruise, now this?
Carlos: It's an even bigger danger this time.
(Burbank Hilton)
Naomi: Oniichan, this place is great!
Carlos:I know, it's my third visit over here.
Yamatoman: If you didn't know, Naomi, Master Carlos was here during a convention called G-Fest '99, and the Tom Cruise debacle.
Naomi: Oniichan had an encounter with that guy?
Yamatoman: He died honorably, but RightWinger wasn't done with us.
(later)
Carlos: OK, I left a note on the studio, all I have to do, is wait...
(that night)
Zenigata: Inspector Kouichi Zenigata, Interpol!
Exec: Glad you arrived on such short notice, inspector.
Zenigata: So, why do you need me here?
Exec: Take a look at this.
[I demand everything from the sequel to 'Dude, Where's My Car?' If you do not bring all of the current amount of footage, the remainder of the budget, and a deal cancelling the film, Then I will have to steal them from the studio myself.
-Carlos]
Zenigata: Hey I think it's- his cousin?
Exec: What do you mean?
Zenigata: Uh, nevermind. I'll just set up a trap for this guy right away! Won't know what hit him!
(later that night, at corner of studio)
Carlos(in guard clothes): Naomi, Any reports on the security?
Naomi: Well, Oniichan, the security has been boosted quite a bit ever since some smelly old man appeared.
Carlos: So I guess the demands weren't met...
Naomi: Exactly.
Yamatoman: So, Master Carlos, how do we get in?
Carlos: First, we do it electronically.
(sees switches at door) Hopefully, that door is connected to the security netrwork of the studio.
Yamatoman: Master Carlos, How do we break in the security? They might find the jack-in wires.
Carlos:Well, I just got these wireless jacks.
Yamatoman: I see.
Carlos: Jack in! YamatoMan.EXE, Naomi.EXE, Execute!
(StudioComp1)
Yamatoman: Hm, seems that there's no activity.
Naomi: Hmmm... X-Scanner! (scans entire area) Mercenary Navis! They're using Invis chips!
Carlos: Well, you know what to do.
Naomi: Correct, Oniichan! Comet Missle! (missiles fire our of Naomi's arm cannon, damaging mercenaries)
Yamatoman: Now I can see them! Maha Spear! (rapidly attacks w/ spear, deleting mercenaries)
Naomi: Good job, YamatoMan!
Yamatoman: Thanks.
Naomi: (giggle) You're welcome.
Yamatoman: Master Carlos, is the door accessible now?
Carlos: No, can you find the password?
Yamatoman: Wait a minute... [YamatoMan accessed the mystery data...
YamatoMan got Password1!]
Yamatoman: I found the password! It's '16842!'
Carlos: (types numbers)...
Door: Access Granted.
Carlos: Yooosh! (opens door)
(inside studio)
Carlos: Man, it's quiet in here...
Voice: It's raining men! Halleluja! It's raining men! Amen!
Carlos: What the-? There's some old guy wearing stockings, high heels and a miniskirt dancing and singing 'It's Rainin' Men'...
Naomi: Matching Voice... It's Inspector Kouichi Zenigata of Interpol!
Carlos: Ewww... Hey, a broom!
(goes out in janitor costume)
Zenigata: Ha! I found you, Lupin!
Carlos: Lupin? I'm the janitor!
Zenigata: ...Oh.
Carlos: Anyway, nice shoes, Pops!
Zenigata: Heyyy, did you just call me 'Pops'? Then you are-
Carlos: The janitor? Duh!
Zenigata: No, you're not! You're the grandson of Lupin I's brother!
Carlos: OK, I give. I'm working here as a janitor.
Zenigata: Liar! Come back here!
Carlos: Ummm, yeah... (runs away)
(chase through explosive-filled set)
Carlos: Hey Pops! Careful on the set!
Zenigata: (tripping over explosions) Crap, Crap, Crap, Crap, Crap!!!
(at the Christmas set)
Zenigata: What the-? Where'd he go?
Carlos(disguised as robotic Santa): Ho, ho, ho! Meeery Christmas!
Zenigata: Ha! Nice try!
Carlos: C'mon, little boy! What do you want for Christmas?
Zenigata: You're not fooling anyone!
Carlos: (grabs Zenigata's arm) Think I'm gonna run away this time? (knocks Zenigata cold) Hmmm, there's gotta be a dungeon set somewhere...
(later)
Carlos: Man, that old guy's weird... (looks at PET) YamatoMan, how's the situation?
Yamatoman: OK, We're about to enter StudioComp 2.
Carlos: OK, prepare yourselves, guys. Meanwhile, I'm gonna enter the set (tries to open door, but it's electronically locked) ...Dammit! It seems that we hafta find another Password...
Yamatoman: OK.
(StudioComp 2)
Naomi: Oniichan, I don't see anything here! ...Hey, there are mercenaries hiding in the area!
Yamatoman: Where?
Naomi: They're all over the area!
Yamatoman: What the-? Virus Bombs!
[Ratty3, Needler, Ratty3]
Yamatoman: Backup!
(soliders attack viruses)
Naomi: Maha Sidegun!
(repeated Sidegun deletes viruses)
Carlos: Haven't changed in skill, Naomi!
Naomi: (giggle) Sankyuu!
Yamatoman: Here comes another wave!
[Volcano, Magnum2, Volcano in Lava panels at enemy's side]
Yamatoman: Gotta time this right...(viruses line up in row) ...Now! Geddon2! (unstood panels are smashed) Sayonara, bakayarou! Fountain! (line of water flows through viruses, deleting them)
Naomi: Oniichan, how can YamatoMan use Fountain if he's a neutral navi?
Carlos: I used a program I made myself.
Naomi: What is it, Oniichan?
Carlos: ElemPow(Elemental Power). It's a program based on the scuttle-type virus, which did originate from the infamous Life Virus.
Naomi: I should have known, Oniichan!
(Editor's Note: At times like this I can't tell if he's being pretentious for humour's sake or if it's something I should tone down to preserve continuity. Eh, just roll with it for now.)
(meanwhile, in a dungeon set)
Zenigata: What the-? Where am I? ...Crap, Damn it all, Crap, Crap, Crap! Get me out of here! Aaahhh!!!
(back at StudioComp 2)
Yamatoman: Recov80! (is rejuvanated)
Naomi: Team2! (Naomi recovers while Cannodumb3s try to attack Naomi)
Yamatoman: I'm about to run out of chips!
Carlos: Then there's only one thing to do! FolderBack! (YamatoMan's chips become accessable again) Yooosh! Naomi! Invis!
Naomi: Roger! (YamatoMan, Naomi become impervious to damage)
Yamatoman: ZeusHammer! (every navi/virus, exept YamatoMan and Naomi, are deleted)
Naomi: Repair! (all the smashed panels return to normal)
Yamatoman: It's another Mystery Data, over there!
Naomi: It's purple! Oniichan, do you have an 'Unlocker?'
Carlos: Sure do! Hey YamatoMan! Here ya go!
Yamatoman: Thanks, Master Carlos.
[YamatoMan accessed the Mystery Data...
YamatoMan got Password2!]
Yamatoman: The Password this time is 21604!
Carlos: 2, 1, 6, 0, 4...
[Access Granted.]
Carlos: Yooosh!
Yamatoman: Strangely enough, there's a possibility of another StudioComp.
Carlos: OK, thanks for the info.
(film room)
Carlos: Let's see... Ah, ha! (grabs reel case out of shelf) ...Strange...
Yamatoman: Nanda?
Carlos: It feels more lightweight than the others... (opens case) ! An empty case? (note falls out) ...
[I knew you'd be here, Carlos Lupin. I present to you my greatest work! Behold, this is the greatest safe ever built! Just try to crack it!
-Saburo Getsumen]
Carlos: Oh, please... Himitsuken! (sword tries to cut safe, but safe is unaffected)
Naomi: Oniichan! What happened?
Carlos: No effect. Maybe the combination is in StudioComp 3 or something...
Yamatoman: I knew it!
(StudioComp3)
Yamatoman: Hmmm... Sanababichi! (Mystery datas are all over the area)
Naomi: X-Scanner! (Mystery Datas are scanned, but to no avail) No! It's not working!
Yamatoman: Hmmm...
Voice: What is the awnser?
Carlos: ...To what?
Voice: Life, the Universe, and Everything...
Yamatoman: Ummm, I have no idea.
Carlos: -Erk! (is about to panic)
Naomi: Hey, Oniichan, Don't panic!
Carlos: ! That's it!
Yamatoman: What do you mean?
Carlos: 42!
(mystery data's exept for one dissapear)
Naomi: It wasn't that hard after all, just a Hitchhiker's reference.
Yamatoman: ...I see...
Carlos: Hmmm... ['Untrap' on]
[YamatoMan accessed the mystery data...
the viruses inside were deleted!
YamatoMan got: Password3!]
Yamatoman: 69-l, 15-r, 27-l!
Carlos: (mumbling) 69-l, 15-r, 27-l... (safe opens) Yooosh! Alright, Jack out! ...
Yamatoman: Wait, I sense the prescence of another power...
Carlos: ...
(navi covered in film, with a camera-like cannon appears)
Navi: Who dares to defy Hollywood?
Yamatoman: We were the one who defeated Tom Cruise, RightWinger, and the Hollywood Mercenaries! Now, we are here to defeat another, greater evil.
Navi: You mean our MindCrusher films?
Naomi: Exactly! We're here to kick your ass!
Carlos: Yup.
Navi: How about some virus bombs? (tries to throwe virus bombs)
Naomi: Missle Storm! (missles destory virus bombs before any viruses escpae)
Yamatoman: Tooohhh!!! (stabs navi in chest)
Navi: Well well, I'm impressed. But before you do anything else, allow me to introduce myself. My name is FilmMan.EXE, and I'm- (looks up to see YamatoMan in front of a RockCube)
Yamatoman: NoBeam3! (YamatoMan's sillouettes smash towards FilmMan)
Naomi: ElecMissle! (yellow missle shocks, stuns FilmMan)
Film: What the-?
Yamatoman: (behind the RockCube)AirShot3! (RockCube slides toward FilmMan)
Film: Gaaahhh!!! (smashed to deletion, rock slides to back of area)
(Editor's Note: Filmman is such a loser I'm not going to waste time spriting anything unique for him. Just pretend Videoman looks slightly different here.)
Yamatoman: Alright, Master Carlos. Let's get the hell out of here!
Carlos: Definately! (steals film, runs)
(the next day)
Carlos: Hmmm... (reads news)
[Film Producer, Studio Exec arrested]
[This morning, film producer Liche Marshall Long, and studio executive Shark McCoche were arrested today, after the theft of a film which contained hypnotic messages. A police officer discovered the stolen film outside their office shortly after the supposed theft. However, Interpol's Inspector Kouichi Zenigata commented that 'this thief will be caught', although this mysterious person ended up saving people from a definate evil.]
Carlos: That's different...
Naomi: Tell me about it, Oniichan...
Yamatoman: At least that old fart was well away from us...
Carlos: But anyway, despite his attempts, no one can stop Mr. Domino!
