Narrator: At the Decipticon Underwater base, Starscream find something interesting….
Starscream: Hmm? The human named Michael Bay is making a movie about us, and I’m in it! Well of course I should.
Starscream: Ha! That buffoon Megatron gets Frozen and I lead! Excellent! Mr. Bay should be commended. He realizes my superiority to Megatron! I wonder….how will I look like?
Starscream: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! IM A CHICKEN WALKER!!!!! IM AN INSECT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! ILL KILL HIM!!!!
Megatron: Whats going on Starscream? You are pissing me off. *Looks at the screen* What the hell are you looking at?
Starscream: The human named Bay is making a movie about us, BUT I LOOK LIKE SHIT!
Soundwave: Michael Bay: Superior. Starscream: Inferior.
Megatron: Heh. I am sorry Starscream. It appears you are stuck with a crappy design. Soundwave, pull up my design.
Soundwave: Computing Lord Megatron. Success. Behold you.
*And a picture of Movie Megatron appears.*
Megatron:…a robot Sasquatch? A METAL YETTI!!!!!!!! HE DIES!!!!!
*The trio goes to the Space Bridge Entrance*
Megatron: Skywarp, Thundercracker, Soundwave, and Starscream will accompany me to the surface to find Bay. Shockwave, you will assume control while we are gone. Understood?
Shockwave: Yes Almighty Megatron.
Megatron: DECEPTICONS INFILTRATE AND DESTROY!!!!
Narrator: Meanwhile in Russia.
Cossack: You guys wont believe this. I just scored…
Toad: Congrats. I’d rather not hear about your private life.
Cossack: …insolent taod…anyway behold! 10 tickets to an advanced screening of Transformers the Movie!
Drill: The Bay one or the classic one?
Cossack: HEY! THESE WERE FREE! If you want I can give these to the Wilys Warriors.
Ring: For the love of Job no!
Drill: Thank you Cossack. We will be glad to take these off your hands.
Cossack: Oh no! We are all going! …Well except Jay and Silent Bob. They are at a Drug Dealers thing this week so they cannot attend. But we can!
Kalinka: Oh Father you have done something right for once. Amazing.
Skull: I do not know. Movies are not my thing.
Toad: Aw come on Zy, It could be fun. You need to get out more.
Skull: Very well.
Drill: Comrades: Roll Out!
Dive: I knew it would be something cliché like that.
*At the premiere the Comrades meet an old friend: Gauntlet!*
Drill: Oh you got a free pass too?
Gauntlet:…thats a secret…
Dust: I call you out on that Gauntlet!
Gauntlet: Shut up!
*Suddenly a big limo pulls up and out comes Michael Bay, Don Murphy, and Tom DeSanto*
Ring: Oh Mr. Bay! I love your work! The Island is a cinematic masterpiece!
Bay: Well thank you. Someone finally loves my films.
Gauntlet: Didn't you make Pearl Harbor?
Bay: Why yes I did. My best work after Transformers I think.
Pharaoh: Dude, it sucked.
Dust: It sucked more then me.
Dust: Oh come on!
Don: Enjoy the movie every one.
DeSanto: It will certainly be better then Spider-man 3.
Toad: There seems to be more to those three then meets the eye.
Bright: I can't believe you went there.
Gauntlet: Screw you guys. Time to view my childhood redux!
Cossack: Well that was rude.
Kalinka: Forget him Father, the movie is starting.
*In the theater*
Bay: Hello. I am Michael Bay. I thank you all for coming. This movie is the best of my career so far.
Don: However we have made some changes to the film. Peter Cullen has been replaced with Elija Wood and Starscream is now a transforming spatula.
DeSanto: Plus for added realism the TF will have synthetic skin to give the appearance of a human.
Ring: Da hell he smoking?
Drill: I cant believe this.
Gauntlet: You three have raped my childhood! And I didnt even see the movie yet!
Bay: You know thats whats wrong with Transformers: fans. You make me sick.
DeSanto: Dont make judgment till you have seen the film.
*The film starts*
Spike: Wow. your more then meets the eye.
Bumblebee: *Transforms into a golf cart*
Optimus Prime: Roll out to the shire! *Transforms into a vacuum*
Megatron: I am afraid I cannot allow that Mr. Prime. *Puts on Sun Glasses*
Ironhide: More then meets the eye!
Leader 1: GOBOTS!
Cy-Kill: GOBOTRON FOREVER!
*They all transform into Gungans*
Gungan: Thersa moresa to yousa den meeten de eye.
Cossack: The f*ck is going on?
Skull: This is why I dont go to the movies.
Bright: By the Matrix no!
Comic book guy: Worst. Movie. Ever. Must see it at least ten more times today.
Bay: Who dares disrupt my movie?
Megatron: Here's a hint. DECEPTICONS ATTACK THE FLESHLING!
Starscream: With pleasure, almighty Megatron.
Dust: Are you just gonna let this happen?
Drill and Gauntlet: Yes.
*Suddenly a semi breaks through the wall and transforms*
Optimus Prime: Megatron stop! You dont understand. That's not Michael Bay. The Autobots and I found him and his producer friends tied up outside.
Soundwave: Query: If Bay is there who is this?
Bay: I guess the cat is out of the bag.
*The three pull off their disguises*
Megatron: It cant be!
Starscream: COBRA COMMANDER?!?!
Cobra Commander: Yesss Itss True! My plan worked and Transssformersss is ruined!
Destro: What this idiot means is that we were supposed to get a movie first. I mean we came first!
Baroness: So ve kidnapped Bay and his cohorts and sabotaged the real movie.
Cobra Commander: Our original intention was to force Bay to direct a GI Joe movie, with us winning. COBRA!!!!!
Destro: However when Transfomers came to be our Commander decided to change it into the worst movie ever.
Cobra Commander: IT WASS BRILLIANT!!!!
Baroness: Da it vas. I vanted to make a Gobots movie instead. That vould have made Transformer fans pissed.
Cobra Commander: Cobra the Movie is sure to be made!
Toad: So you impersonated Bay?
Cobra Commander: My dear this has been going on for a long time. I sent Zartan to impersonate Bay when filming Pearl Harbor to show how bad the United States Government really is.
Pharaoh: So that's why it sucked.
Destro: And now Bay has a financial flop! The fans will want to kill you and the Joe fans will get their movie.
Cobra Commander: COBRA VICTORY!
Megatron: You forget one thing. We are huge robots and you three are just fleshlings. DECEPTICONS ATTACK!
Optimus Prime: Technically Cobra Commander is not human so I can kill him.
Cobra Commander: No! I am human! That who Cobra La stuff was fake! COBRA RETREAT! RETREAT!
Kalinka: Did we learn anything at all today?
Bay: I am terribly sorry for all of this. Here are new passes to see the REAL Transformers movie.
*They view it*
Drill: I liked it!
Dust: The designs kicked ass!
Gauntlet: Bah! It focused on the humans too much! And where is Frank Welker?
Pharaoh: Did you see when Megatron was fighting Prime how he killed those people?
Comic book guy: Best. Movie. Ever.
Dive: It just goes to show you that just because a movie doesnt follow the original story to a T doesn't mean it's destined to be a failure.
Ring: Tell that to Catwoman.
Dr. Mindbender: Cobra Commander, I have news! Brett Ratner is directing a GI Joe movie!
Cobra Commander: YESSSSS! Who is worthy enough to play me?
Dr. Mindbender: Uh Chris Tucker is playing Destro, Rosie O'Donnel is Baroness, and Jackie Chan is you. I get to be played by the guy from House!
Cobra Commander: GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Megatron: Good work Soundwave. The Decepticons strike back!
*The End...for now!*