By Anime Master (Drill Man)
Narrator: Surprisingly, our adventure does NOT start at the Citadel, but rather a strange mine in…well I don’t know where.
Mysterious man: I did it! I have returned! That Cat…I will find that Cat!
Narrator: Okay, NOW we can go to the Citadel.
Dive: Here kitty kitty kitty!
Bright: Dive! Cut it out!
Dust: You really need to stop with the whole cat thing Dive. It is getting kinda repetitive…
Dive: Are you kidding me? This stuff never repeats itself.
*Suddenly, Dr. Cossack, Jay, and Silent Bob peer in*
Cossack: Hey we are going to get high and play on the slide in the park.
Megatron: I AM MEGATRON!
Kalinka: *Cracks shotgun* Get Back You!
Dive: You know sometin’ kid? I think you migh’ have a point. Fine, I promise not ta’ harm one hair on ta’ cat’s head for the rest of the epilogue.
Dive: Shut the hell up.
Skull: Is this what you all do? Sit around and wait for something to happen?
Drill: *Barges in* It’s Brawling Time!
All, save Skull: Horary!
Skull: This is a waste of time. Is there no enemies for me to fight?
Toad: Hunter, it’s Brawl. You cannot go wrong with Brawl.
Skull: I do not “Brawl” Regulus.
Toad: You do now!
Narrator: So the team begins a Brawl tournament.
Drill: Metaknight! Kick ass!
Dive: Feh. Wario is the best at this.
Skull: I do not see how “flatulence” defines “the best at this.”
Pharaoh: Don’t think about it too hard. It’s jut a video game. It’s like saying someone who get’s drunk is the best in a video game.
Dive: *Gets wasted*
Toad: Stop breaking the fourth wall! Zelda is easily the best character in this game. As Shiek I kick ass!
Ring: Nay! For Captain Falcon has KUNG FU GRIP!!!
Bright: *Pets Autumn*
Narrator: Suddenly, the wall is blown open, disconnecting the Wii.
Pharaoh: Who dares?
Skull: At last, a worthy opponent.
Mystery Man: Hahaha! I have found you Cat! You thought you killed me in Oriana, but you cannot kill the…
Drill: No, no, no. We are NOT fighting Mysterio. He is so lame. And didn’t you die?
Mystery Man: …Mysterio? Do you not know who is the boss? THE DUKE OF ZILL OF COURSE!!!!!
Skull: Is this the caliber of foes that we shall encounter?
Dive: Jus’ don’ think of it like tat’ and it makes it that much easier ta’ kill.
Duke of Zill: Yes, I am the Duke of Zill! I was once the ruler of Oriana, a parallel dimension which I stole from my niece, the Princess! I kept her in the land of Zill, where her father banished me! However, with the help of that Cat over there, she escaped and nearly killed me with that book of love!
Toad: …this cat?
Duke of Zill: Yes! FELIX THE CAT!!!! I WILL BURN HIM INTO A ZILLION PIECES!!!!!
Bright: Autumn is…Felix the Cat?
Dust: Why can’t the Cosmic Gladiators deal with this kind of villain?!
Dive: I hate ta’ disappoint ya Mysterio, but tat’ ain’t your cat. In fact, Felix the Cat ain’t real. He’s from “a parallel dimension” ta’ use your lingo.
Duke of Zill: *Takes the Wii* Have your fun, as long as I let you have fun! Hahaha!
Dive: Okay tat's it. Hey Jack Skellington!
Skull: I am not Jack.
Dive: Do I give a rat’s ass? Kill him already. He's pissin' me off and this way you don' have to bitch an' moan about doing jack shit.
Skull: I will get no satisfaction from this, but whatever.
*Shoots at the Duke of Zill*
Duke of Zill: Noooo!!!!! But I am contented…because I say I am…
Ring: Yo, I reconnected the Wii!
Toad: About time, I was in the middle of kicking your ass.
Narrator: And so, another epilogue ends with nothing getting accomplished, other then a cameo by an early 90’s villain from a movie that few knew about. Oh, and playing Smash Bros.