By Hunter (Skull Man)
(The story begins on the Nemesis, where familiar faces can be seen...)
Starscream : Why don't you listen to me, Megatron ? We're wasting time on this fleshling nightmare of a world ! Even you know it !
Megatron : As much as I hate it, the conquest of Cybertron depends on our victory over these Comrades.
Starscream : And how, exactly ?
Megatron : Simple. They're quite similar to these 'Maniacs, who defeated Galvatron and - oh, you were there too ! My mistake !
Starscream : Thanks for pouring boiling mercury on this wound, oh great leader.
Megatron : A reminder of your betrayal. Anyway, crushing these fools will teach us about the ways these Earthling robots function, and give us ways to upgrade our own bodies - and paving us the way to Cybertron's conquest !
Starscream : Just admit you're doing this because Galvatron is sooo much more powerful than you.
Megatron (bashes Starscream with his cannon) : Insult me again, and I'll borrow a move from Galvatron's book.
Starscream : Yes ... my lord.
Soundwave : Incoming transmission. Source : Cybertron. Signal coding : Decepticon.
Starscream : What are you waiting for ? Transfer it to main screen !
(After a few switches, Nemesis-1's screen turns on to reveal an image laced with static. Distant sounds of explosions can be heard.)
? : Eins, zwei. Eins, zwei. Does zis piece of slag actually function ? *slamming sound*
(The image stabilizes to reveal a Decepticon face. He is equipped with a mouthplate, and a visor on his right eye.*
? : It's been a long time, Herr Megatron ! And, I see zat damned Starscream still follows you. How hafe you been since your last death, Screamer ?
Starscream : You ? But ... you're supposed to be dead !
? : Says ze immortal Zeeker.
Megatron : I admit I didn't hear of you for a long time, Flakmaster. Why are you coming to me now ?
Flakmaster : Ze situation here on Cybertron is pretty bad. Me and my squad only vish to come back to a vinning leader !
Starscream : Don't listen to him, my lord ! The Seekers are enough for you to win !
Flakmaster : May I add I studied vays to defeat zese Comrades of yours ?
Megatron : Interesting. When can you come to Earth ?
Flakmaster : Immediately, mein lord ! Ve are making a last stand on the Space Bridge, and Galvatron is already losing track of his defeats !
Megatron : Excellent. I expect you on the Nemesis in ten deca-cycles.
Starscream (after the communication shuts down) : How can you trust someone who worked for Galvatron until now, my liege ?
Megatron : You're still my second-in-command, Starscream.
Starscream : ...
(After a few minutes, Flakmaster and his soldiers come aboard the Nemesis)
Flakmaster : ... Starscream. I have to fank you.
Starscream : And how, Earth-crawler ?
Flakmaster : Had it not been for your orders, I vould have been aboard ze Nemesis, instead of fighting Autobots on der Sea of Rust. But during zat time, I vas able to form a squad from farious var criminals ! State your status, soldiers !
"Flamer" : Gehenos, sir ! Voluntarily destroyed a hangar of Energon !
"Flyer" : Nightspinner ! Was caught retreating in a crucial assault !
"Crusher" : Stonegrinder. I slagged a commander who didn't like my face.
Flakmaster : Ze big one is Dreadnought. He lacks some brains.
Megatron : And your remaining soldier ? He doesn't look like a criminal to me.
"Tank" (salutes) : Treader, sir. I happen to be the ... brother of Stonegrinder.
Flakmaster : Ja, und he iz my sekond in command. Togezer, ve form ... ze Panzerkons !
Megatron : A nice name. So, Panzercons -
Flakmaster : Panzerkons ! With a "k" ! I insist on it !
Megatron : (So maybe Starscream was right...) So, how will you proceed on your first mission against the Comrades ?
Flakmaster : Everyfing is planned already. Give us a few days, and zese communists vill be history !
Megatron : Excellent. Do not fail me.
Treader : You can count on us, sir !
Stonegrinder : (Suck-up.)
Flakmaster : Now, now, no insulting each other ! Leave zat to inferior Transformers !
Megatron : Starscream will show you your section in the Nemesis.
Starscream : Why me, oh great Megatron ?
Megatron : I expect you want a talk with your old friends, isn't it ? (laughes as every other 'Con walks away.)
Flakmaster : If I'm not miztaken, all of my underlings have been judged by you, Screamer.
Panzerkons : (crack their knuckles in unison)
Starscream : *gulps*
Flakmaster : Let's have a friendly chat, in memory of ze old times !
(Let's leave this scene to get a few days later, in Cossack Citadel...)
Cossack : I have good news, people ! I finally finished to repair Ringman.
Sean :The bad news being ... ?
Kalinka : *muttering* He passed out before finishing his personality.
Jay : Best party ever, homies.
Silent Bob : *shakes head*
Cossack : So, yeah. Be nice to John.
John : *waves* Hi.
Geoff : Wanna be a good newb ? Bring me a beer.
John : Err, where is the fridge, sir ?
Geoff : *throws an empty beer at John* Fuckin' useless hula-hoop. *goes to the kitchen himself*
Hunter (walking in the main room) : Mail.
Cossack (taking the letters) : Did you scare the postman again ? Hmm ... bill, bill, ads, bill, ... Hang on. An invitation to a commemoration ?
AM : "... Being grateful for the defence of Saint-Petersburg, you are invited to the Celebration of Victory Parade, in the presidential tribune. Free drinks will be served."
Jade : About time they remember us.
Jet: Didn't the whole "killing innocents" stuff tick them out ?
Geoff : *downing his beer* Don' look at me. If ya 'xcuse me now, I have to pack. *while running away :* Free booze, here I come !
John : So I joined war heroes ? That's great !
Regulus : I suppose I'll have a nice look at my trades with the government.
Cossack : It's all agreed, then. To Saint-Petersburg !
(And at the Parade...)
AM : I have to admit, we have quite a nice view from here. Isn't it, people ... ?
(Already, Geoff, Jay, Bob and Cossack were pillaging the drinks.)
AM : ... Nevermind.
John : Say, how come there's no one else watching the parade in this tribune ?
Sean *shrugs* : Maybe they're intimated by us.
Regulus : So, you see, this one here is the Vulpes model. It has a multi-layer armor of 35 mm, and can fire 130 mm shells.
Hunter : I see. How would it fare against the M1-Abrams ?
Regulus : Kid, even if the pilot was dead drunk, it could easily take on a whole Abrams patrol, and come out without a scratch !
(And so it goes, until...)
John : Err ... Mister Toadman ...
Regulus : Call me Regulus.
John : Yeah, Regulus ... What are those five tanks over there ?
Regulus : Hey, I never saw these before !
Sean :I'm certain they buy equipment from other industries.
Regulus : Yeah, but I'm in touch with the market ... and I never saw these ones before.
Flakmaster (through radio) : Ve are in pozition. Begin Plan Barbarrossa !
Nightspinner (through radio) : Roger, ground control ! Target in sight ... fire !
(Right after the fighter charged thrusted at them, it released a litteral wall of smoke on the tribune !)
AM : Jade, go and escort the Cossacks away ! We'll try to hold these guys down.
Jade : I'm on my way. *runs away with the drunk scientist, the two stoned freeloaders and Kalinka*
Hunter : My visuals can't get through this smoke. We're blinded.
StoneGrinder *transforming* : Try to blind this ! *delivers a kick on Skullman, which throws him to the ground, seemingly deactivated.*
Sean :No one gets away with shooting our teammates ! *fires Dust Crushers at StoneGrinder*
Flakmaster : And no one vill my hurt my Panzerkons, either. *takes out Dustman with his cannons* And now, to talk freely.
(All Panzerkons gather around Flakmaster and get ready to salute, right fist at the level of their heart.)
Flakmaster : Hrrm. Ve are ze Panzerkons, latest addition to ze powerful army of Herr Megatron.
Panzerkons, minus Dreadnought : *slam their fist on their chest* All hail Megatron !
Dreadnought : Hail ... Galvatron.
Gehenos : You fire-retardant head ! We serve Megatron now !
Dreadnought : No more ... hail Galvatron ?
Flakmaster : *nods*
Dreadnought : Hail ... Megatron.
Geoff : Great. Cybertron's retards and nazi wannabes.
Treader : Don't mock Flakmaster !
Flakmaster : Do not vaste your breath, Treader. I doubt zey vill be villing to taunt us after our ... demonstration.
Treader : *nods* Okay. You Commies run away. In five of your minutes, we come and get you.
AM : "Thanks", 'Con.
(Immediately, Geoff grabs both Hunter and Sean, and the Team proceeds to flee.)
Gehenos : Is it time yet ? My trigger systems are itching.
Flakmaster : Let's see ... Five minutes ... Must I convert zis in deca-cycles ? Astro-seconds ? Klunks ? Gott damn it !
Stonegrinder : I say we get'em now, boss !
Flakmaster : Gut, gut ! Panzerkons, transform and crush !
(Let's catch the Comrades before their impending doom, okay ?)
Jade *running back* : Okay, they're out of the battlefield.
John : Is it like this every time you go out ?
Jet: Since the War, pretty much.
Regulus (working on Hunter and Sean) : Only minor injuries, it seems. These Decepticons held back.
Geoff (pushing Regulus aside) : Then, back off. I jus' know how ta wake people up. *slaps both of the Comrades* Naptime's over, sissies.
Sean :Uugh ... Someone got the number of that tank ?
Geoff : Ya didn't notice my fists. I'm hurt.
Hunter : The one that attacked me used vibrations. I recommend avoiding close-quarter combat.
AM : Perfectly noted, Hunter - they're coming !
(And indeed, they were charging.)
Treader (through radio) : Okay, folks ! You remember the plan !
Gehenos (through radio) : Got it ! I'll send 'em to the Pit with a sunburn !
(Immediately, the Decepticon arsonist sped up and opened fire at the Comrades.)
Jade *burning*: Why, oh WHY did I wear linen and a cape today ?!
Sean :Extinguisher time ! (After a few moves of air : ) Oh. Napalm fire ?
Gehenos *transforming* : Nearly ! This stuff is specially refined Energon ! It keeps on burnin' and burnin'. Who wants some more ?
AM *fires a Drill Bomb* : Not for now ! Sunglasses, now !
Jet: Right on ! *Flash Stopper*
(With the Panzerkons temporarily blinded, our heroes run to a familiar river and bridge...)
Geoff : At last, they rebuilt it. But where's my statue ?
Jade : No time for this ! *dives in the river, but doesn't totally extinguishes* A bit better.
Regulus : They're still there ! Geoff, Sean, Ring, hold them back ! Hunter and I will take care of the bridge !
(As the heavy artillery was doing its job, both infiltrators disposed a nice set of grenades under the bridge.)
Regulus : Run away, now !
Treader : They're mine now !
(While the Decepticon was crossing the bridge, the Cerulean Assassin triggered the grenades, destroying the bridge for good !)
Regulus : One down, it seems. Wha- ?
(Slowly, ignoring the various instabilities in the ground, covered with various detritus, the tank was crossing the river and finally arrived in front of both surprised Comrades !)
Treader : I can travel anywhere, you know.
Stonegrinder *next to him* : And 'Cons can fly, too. Why did ya reveal your ability, rust-head ?
Treader : Gotta impress people.
Nightspinner : Seeker to Ground Control : the targets are missing.
Treader : What ?! *looks around* Oh, Primus.
Gehenos : What's the plan, now ? Some of them still look quite flammable.
Treader : Stonegrinder, track them down. Gehenos will go just after you. Nightspinner will report to Flakmaster while I take the big box to this side of the river.
Stonegrinder, Gehenos and Nightspinner : Yes, sir ! *transform and fly/roll away*
(Meanwhile, at the Comrades' temporary hideout...)
Hunter : The long-cannon model seems to have a forcefield on its treads. It will not be blocked by any obstacles in its path.
Geoff : Later, Death Boy ! Vibrator's comin' that way !
AM : People, I just know the way to take this one out.
Stonegrinder : Step back, Lighter, I can see 'em ! *transforms*
Gehenos *transforms* : All the flammables are mine, crusher.
Stonegrinder : Whatever.
Geoff *through a window* : Hey, Vibrator ! Did ya have a good night with Starscream ?
Gehenos : That's a low one.
Stonegrinder : *screams incoherently and charges*
Gehenos : *stepping back* I'll let you handle this alone, okay ?
Stonegrinder : Don't talk of that whiner anymore !
Geoff : Aww, did ya just break up ? I'm sooo sorry !
Stonegrinder : You'll get it now ! *punches the building*
(As expected, the wall collapsed. As not expected, so did the ground under the destructive Panzerkon !)
Stonegrinder : Wha' the ... ? *notices the Acid Grenades all around him* Uh-oh.
Gehenos : *watching the following explosion from afar* Gotta help now.
Hunter *from behind* : Try to get me.
Gehenos *turning back* : Hey, a flammable guy ! Let's play "dodge" ! *covers the area with fire*
AM *popping from the ground* : You know what to do, Reg.
Regulus : Sure thing. *throws grenades on Gehenos' fuel tanks*
(One apocalyptic explosion later...)
Gehenos *running around screaming* : PRIMUS ! THE HEAT ! THE HEAT ! *falls into Stonegrinder's hole*
Hunter : Two less opponents. We are left with the most dangerous ones now.
John : ... Hunter, right ?
Hunter : *nods*
John : I ... think your cloak is still on fire.
Hunter : Your point being ?
John : Well ... Er ... Nevermind.
(Back to the bridge.)
Flakmaster : Vhat am I hearing, Treader ? Zese Comrades ran away ?
Treader : Yes, sir. And I've lost contact with Gehenos and Stonegrinder.
Flakmaster : Ach, zey've been beaten. But I vant to see if zey'll be able to defeat Dreadnought. Nightspinner, scout ahead.
Nightspinner *salutes* : Got it ten-four, Ground Control ! *transforms and flies away*
Flakmaster : Treader, you vill form ze backguard, vhile I lead Dreadnought. Now, let's go. Ve have Commies to crush !
(In the skies...)
Nightspinner *through radio* : Seeker to Ground Control, single unit enemy spotted. Asking for permission to intercept.
Flakmaster *through radio* : Request granted. Transmit us ze location. Flakmaster, over.
Nightspinner : It's you and me now, ground dweller ! *transforms, lands, and fires at the Comrade* Hey, wait ! Are you that Ring guy ?
John : My armor was kind of a clue, isn't it ?
Nightspinner : (Damn, damn, damn ! Skywarp told me about this guy ! He knows Jet-Judo !) *raises his weapons, shaking* O-okay ... Stand back or ... or I'll open fire !
John : *genuinely surprised* You're afraid of me ? *steps closer to the Seeker*
Nightspinner : *fires at the ground in front of Ringman* Stand back ! Not the Jet-Judo !
John : You mean ... this ? *does some kung-fu gestures*
Nightspinner : Aaaaack ! Nightspinner to Ground Control : Extraction ! Extraction !
(While Nightspinner was busy panicking, he didn't notice the skeletal robot in his back...)
Hunter : *slashes through the 'Con's neck with his claw* One down. I must admit psychological warfare is effective.
John : *shrugs* It kind of ... came to me.
Jet *coming from a building* : You have to admit, it all relied on whether or not he knew of Rebel's reputation.
John : Wait, what reputation ? I thought he was just scared of rings, or something.
Jet: It's a long story. We'll have time for it later...
Flakmaster (perched on Dreadnought's shoulder) : Except later vill NOT happen ! Blast zem to oblivion, Dreadnought !
Dreadnought : Yeth, thur. *opens fire with his whole arsenal*
(As a logical reaction, the three Comrades fled, only to be followed by the trigger-happy behemoth.)
Regulus *watching from afar* : Incredible ! He shouldn't be able to walk with all this recoil.
Sean :That's some heavy artillery.
AM : We must stop it, then. You ready, Geoff.
Geoff : From Day one, Bossman. *runs and catches Jet* Time ta shine, Lightbulb. *throws Jet in the air*
Jet: Hey, Monocle ! *activates her Flash Stopper*
Dreadnought : The light ... burnth my opticth ... *screams and gesticulates, blinded, causing Flakmaster to fall*
Jade *charging his Pharaoh Shot* A little duel, Tank-Bot ?
Flakmaster *locking his cannons on Jade* : I am no Autobot ! I am a Panzerkon !
Geoff *from behind* And now ye're one ugly mess. *punches Flakmaster in the back*
Flakmaster : How dare you ! *replies with his fist and misses Geoff by a foot*
Geoff : Guy knows nothing of melee. I used ta take lunch money from nerds like ya ! *continues the beating up*
Sean :It's fine and all, but what about the big guy ? And *suddenly worried* and Jet ?
Regulus *with Jet in his arms* : Unlike you, Geoff, some take care of their teammates.
Geoff : Eh, I've got a reputation ta defend.
AM *coming with John and Hunter* : And I believe the hole strategy does wonder on tank-bots.
Hunter : There's one left.
Treader *stopping a few metres away and transforms* : (Okay. One against eight. The others got beaten. Time to play wise.) *raises his arms* If I promise not to attack any of you, can I get back to my base with my teammates ?
Regulus : Not before we dispose of them first !
Geoff : Hush, Kermit. Them booze was fine. But we can beat up the remaining one a bit.
AM : No, Geoff. He asked a request, and knows that if he breaks his word, he'll get the beating of his life, right ?
Treader : *vigorously nods*
Jade : So, get away and don't come back soon.
(After a few teleportations back to their respective bases, and a flight from a lone Panzerkon...)
Cossack : Well, how much of the city did you destroy this time ?
Jet: Geoff insisted on paying a tribute to his feat.
Geoff : Bridges are made ta be destroyed, isn't it ?
Sean :Not in times of peace.
Jay : What do we care about the town ? Did ya bring back more booze ?
Hunter *stepping away from the group* : I have several recordings of these new enemies. Would you wish to study them now ?
Regulus : Sure thing. Believe me, Hunter, AM made a mistake on letting this one get away.
Hunter : Isn't that compassion ?
Regulus : Maybe. We will see these Panzerkons again soon ...
(Not so sure. Back to the Nemesis.)
Megatron : I see you failed as well, Flakmaster.
Starscream : Serves you right, Earth-crawlers !
Stonegrinder : Not a word, Screamer, or I'll devastate your face !
Starscream : Such bold words from a war criminal ... If you attack me, you attack Megatron as well, for I am his second-in-command !
Gehenos : Then we'll just beat the red-and-white Seeker's face to slag !
Flakmaster : (Devastate ... Devastate ... of course !) Mein lord, I hafe a new plan !
Megatron : Really ? And what will make me tolerate your incompetence ?
Flakmaster : Actually ... *whsipers to Megatron* ... Interested ?
Megatron : *grinning broadly* Of course ! After all, it is natural to fail the first time.
Starscream : And what is the reason of this change of spark, my liege ?
Megatron : You will know soon enough, Starscream, for you will help them from now on.
Treader : Yeah. As a walking target ...
Panzerkons : *laugh*
Starscream : I ... don't like this laugh.