Cossack's Comrades

Cossack's Comrades Alpha Season 4 Epilogue 11

(The story begins on the Nemesis, where familiar faces can be seen...)

Starscream : Why don't you listen to me, Megatron ? We're wasting time on this fleshling nightmare of a world ! Even you know it !

Megatron : As much as I hate it, the conquest of Cybertron depends on our victory over these Comrades.

Starscream : And how, exactly ?

Megatron : Simple. They're quite similar to these 'Maniacs, who defeated Galvatron and - oh, you were there too ! My mistake !

Starscream : Thanks for pouring boiling mercury on this wound, oh great leader.

Megatron : A reminder of your betrayal. Anyway, crushing these fools will teach us about the ways these Earthling robots function, and give us ways to upgrade our own bodies - and paving us the way to Cybertron's conquest !

Starscream : Just admit you're doing this because Galvatron is sooo much more powerful than you.

Megatron (bashes Starscream with his cannon) : Insult me again, and I'll borrow a move from Galvatron's book.

Starscream : Yes ... my lord.

Soundwave : Incoming transmission. Source : Cybertron. Signal coding : Decepticon.

Starscream : What are you waiting for ? Transfer it to main screen !

(After a few switches, Nemesis-1's screen turns on to reveal an image laced with static. Distant sounds of explosions can be heard.)

? : Eins, zwei. Eins, zwei. Does zis piece of slag actually function ? *slamming sound*

(The image stabilizes to reveal a Decepticon face. He is equipped with a mouthplate, and a visor on his right eye.*

? : It's been a long time, Herr Megatron ! And, I see zat damned Starscream still follows you. How hafe you been since your last death, Screamer ?

Starscream : You ? But ... you're supposed to be dead !

? : Says ze immortal Zeeker.

Megatron : I admit I didn't hear of you for a long time, Flakmaster. Why are you coming to me now ?

Flakmaster : Ze situation here on Cybertron is pretty bad. Me and my squad only vish to come back to a vinning leader !

Starscream : Don't listen to him, my lord ! The Seekers are enough for you to win !

Flakmaster : May I add I studied vays to defeat zese Comrades of yours ?

Megatron : Interesting. When can you come to Earth ?

Flakmaster : Immediately, mein lord ! Ve are making a last stand on the Space Bridge, and Galvatron is already losing track of his defeats !

Megatron : Excellent. I expect you on the Nemesis in ten deca-cycles.

Starscream (after the communication shuts down) : How can you trust someone who worked for Galvatron until now, my liege ?

Megatron : You're still my second-in-command, Starscream.

Starscream : ...

(After a few minutes, Flakmaster and his soldiers come aboard the Nemesis)

Flakmaster : ... Starscream. I have to fank you.

Starscream : And how, Earth-crawler ?

Flakmaster : Had it not been for your orders, I vould have been aboard ze Nemesis, instead of fighting Autobots on der Sea of Rust. But during zat time, I vas able to form a squad from farious var criminals ! State your status, soldiers !

"Flamer" : Gehenos, sir ! Voluntarily destroyed a hangar of Energon !

"Flyer" : Nightspinner ! Was caught retreating in a crucial assault !

"Crusher" : Stonegrinder. I slagged a commander who didn't like my face.

Flakmaster : Ze big one is Dreadnought. He lacks some brains.

Megatron : And your remaining soldier ? He doesn't look like a criminal to me.

"Tank" (salutes) : Treader, sir. I happen to be the ... brother of Stonegrinder.

Flakmaster : Ja, und he iz my sekond in command. Togezer, ve form ... ze Panzerkons !

Megatron : A nice name. So, Panzercons -

Flakmaster : Panzerkons ! With a "k" ! I insist on it !

Megatron : (So maybe Starscream was right...) So, how will you proceed on your first mission against the Comrades ?

Flakmaster : Everyfing is planned already. Give us a few days, and zese communists vill be history !

Megatron : Excellent. Do not fail me.

Treader : You can count on us, sir !

Stonegrinder : (Suck-up.)

Flakmaster : Now, now, no insulting each other ! Leave zat to inferior Transformers !

Megatron : Starscream will show you your section in the Nemesis.

Starscream : Why me, oh great Megatron ?

Megatron : I expect you want a talk with your old friends, isn't it ? (laughes as every other 'Con walks away.)

Flakmaster : If I'm not miztaken, all of my underlings have been judged by you, Screamer.

Panzerkons : (crack their knuckles in unison)

Starscream : *gulps*

Flakmaster : Let's have a friendly chat, in memory of ze old times !

(Let's leave this scene to get a few days later, in Cossack Citadel...)

Cossack : I have good news, people ! I finally finished to repair Ringman.

Sean :The bad news being ... ?

Kalinka : *muttering* He passed out before finishing his personality.

Jay : Best party ever, homies.

Silent Bob : *shakes head*

Cossack : So, yeah. Be nice to John.

John : *waves* Hi.

Geoff : Wanna be a good newb ? Bring me a beer.

John : Err, where is the fridge, sir ?

Geoff : *throws an empty beer at John* Fuckin' useless hula-hoop. *goes to the kitchen himself*

Hunter (walking in the main room) : Mail.

Cossack (taking the letters) : Did you scare the postman again ? Hmm ... bill, bill, ads, bill, ... Hang on. An invitation to a commemoration ?

AM : "... Being grateful for the defence of Saint-Petersburg, you are invited to the Celebration of Victory Parade, in the presidential tribune. Free drinks will be served."

Jade : About time they remember us.

Jet: Didn't the whole "killing innocents" stuff tick them out ?

Geoff : *downing his beer* Don' look at me. If ya 'xcuse me now, I have to pack. *while running away :* Free booze, here I come !

John : So I joined war heroes ? That's great !

Regulus : I suppose I'll have a nice look at my trades with the government.

Cossack : It's all agreed, then. To Saint-Petersburg !

(And at the Parade...)

AM : I have to admit, we have quite a nice view from here. Isn't it, people ... ?

(Already, Geoff, Jay, Bob and Cossack were pillaging the drinks.)

AM : ... Nevermind.

John : Say, how come there's no one else watching the parade in this tribune ?

Sean *shrugs* : Maybe they're intimated by us.

Regulus : So, you see, this one here is the Vulpes model. It has a multi-layer armor of 35 mm, and can fire 130 mm shells.

Hunter : I see. How would it fare against the M1-Abrams ?

Regulus : Kid, even if the pilot was dead drunk, it could easily take on a whole Abrams patrol, and come out without a scratch !

(And so it goes, until...)

John : Err ... Mister Toadman ...

Regulus : Call me Regulus.

John : Yeah, Regulus ... What are those five tanks over there ?

Regulus : Hey, I never saw these before !

Sean :I'm certain they buy equipment from other industries.

Regulus : Yeah, but I'm in touch with the market ... and I never saw these ones before.

Flakmaster (through radio) : Ve are in pozition. Begin Plan Barbarrossa !

Nightspinner (through radio) : Roger, ground control ! Target in sight ... fire !

(Right after the fighter charged thrusted at them, it released a litteral wall of smoke on the tribune !)

AM : Jade, go and escort the Cossacks away ! We'll try to hold these guys down.

Jade : I'm on my way. *runs away with the drunk scientist, the two stoned freeloaders and Kalinka*

Hunter : My visuals can't get through this smoke. We're blinded.

StoneGrinder *transforming* : Try to blind this ! *delivers a kick on Skullman, which throws him to the ground, seemingly deactivated.*

Sean :No one gets away with shooting our teammates ! *fires Dust Crushers at StoneGrinder*

Flakmaster : And no one vill my hurt my Panzerkons, either. *takes out Dustman with his cannons* And now, to talk freely.

(All Panzerkons gather around Flakmaster and get ready to salute, right fist at the level of their heart.)

Flakmaster : Hrrm. Ve are ze Panzerkons, latest addition to ze powerful army of Herr Megatron.

Panzerkons, minus Dreadnought : *slam their fist on their chest* All hail Megatron !

Dreadnought : Hail ... Galvatron.

Gehenos : You fire-retardant head ! We serve Megatron now !

Dreadnought : No more ... hail Galvatron ?

Flakmaster : *nods*

Dreadnought : Hail ... Megatron.

Geoff : Great. Cybertron's retards and nazi wannabes.

Treader : Don't mock Flakmaster !

Flakmaster : Do not vaste your breath, Treader. I doubt zey vill be villing to taunt us after our ... demonstration.

Treader : *nods* Okay. You Commies run away. In five of your minutes, we come and get you.

AM : "Thanks", 'Con.

(Immediately, Geoff grabs both Hunter and Sean, and the Team proceeds to flee.)

Gehenos : Is it time yet ? My trigger systems are itching.

Flakmaster : Let's see ... Five minutes ... Must I convert zis in deca-cycles ? Astro-seconds ? Klunks ? Gott damn it !

Stonegrinder : I say we get'em now, boss !

Flakmaster : Gut, gut ! Panzerkons, transform and crush !

(Let's catch the Comrades before their impending doom, okay ?)

Jade *running back* : Okay, they're out of the battlefield.

John : Is it like this every time you go out ?

Jet: Since the War, pretty much.

Regulus (working on Hunter and Sean) : Only minor injuries, it seems. These Decepticons held back.

Geoff (pushing Regulus aside) : Then, back off. I jus' know how ta wake people up. *slaps both of the Comrades* Naptime's over, sissies.

Sean :Uugh ... Someone got the number of that tank ?

Geoff : Ya didn't notice my fists. I'm hurt.

Hunter : The one that attacked me used vibrations. I recommend avoiding close-quarter combat.

AM : Perfectly noted, Hunter - they're coming !

(And indeed, they were charging.)

Treader (through radio) : Okay, folks ! You remember the plan !

Gehenos (through radio) : Got it ! I'll send 'em to the Pit with a sunburn !

(Immediately, the Decepticon arsonist sped up and opened fire at the Comrades.)

Jade *burning*: Why, oh WHY did I wear linen and a cape today ?!

Sean :Extinguisher time ! (After a few moves of air : ) Oh. Napalm fire ?

Gehenos *transforming* : Nearly ! This stuff is specially refined Energon ! It keeps on burnin' and burnin'. Who wants some more ?

AM *fires a Drill Bomb* : Not for now ! Sunglasses, now !

Jet: Right on ! *Flash Stopper*

(With the Panzerkons temporarily blinded, our heroes run to a familiar river and bridge...)

Geoff : At last, they rebuilt it. But where's my statue ?

Jade : No time for this ! *dives in the river, but doesn't totally extinguishes* A bit better.

Regulus : They're still there ! Geoff, Sean, Ring, hold them back ! Hunter and I will take care of the bridge !

(As the heavy artillery was doing its job, both infiltrators disposed a nice set of grenades under the bridge.)

Regulus : Run away, now !

Treader : They're mine now !

(While the Decepticon was crossing the bridge, the Cerulean Assassin triggered the grenades, destroying the bridge for good !)

Regulus : One down, it seems. Wha- ?

(Slowly, ignoring the various instabilities in the ground, covered with various detritus, the tank was crossing the river and finally arrived in front of both surprised Comrades !)

Treader : I can travel anywhere, you know.

Stonegrinder *next to him* : And 'Cons can fly, too. Why did ya reveal your ability, rust-head ?

Treader : Gotta impress people.

Nightspinner : Seeker to Ground Control : the targets are missing.

Treader : What ?! *looks around* Oh, Primus.

Gehenos : What's the plan, now ? Some of them still look quite flammable.

Treader : Stonegrinder, track them down. Gehenos will go just after you. Nightspinner will report to Flakmaster while I take the big box to this side of the river.

Stonegrinder, Gehenos and Nightspinner : Yes, sir ! *transform and fly/roll away*

(Meanwhile, at the Comrades' temporary hideout...)

Hunter : The long-cannon model seems to have a forcefield on its treads. It will not be blocked by any obstacles in its path.

Geoff : Later, Death Boy ! Vibrator's comin' that way !

AM : People, I just know the way to take this one out.


Stonegrinder : Step back, Lighter, I can see 'em ! *transforms*

Gehenos *transforms* : All the flammables are mine, crusher.

Stonegrinder : Whatever.

Geoff *through a window* : Hey, Vibrator ! Did ya have a good night with Starscream ?

Gehenos : That's a low one.

Stonegrinder : *screams incoherently and charges*

Gehenos : *stepping back* I'll let you handle this alone, okay ?

Stonegrinder : Don't talk of that whiner anymore !

Geoff : Aww, did ya just break up ? I'm sooo sorry !

Stonegrinder : You'll get it now ! *punches the building*

(As expected, the wall collapsed. As not expected, so did the ground under the destructive Panzerkon !)

Stonegrinder : Wha' the ... ? *notices the Acid Grenades all around him* Uh-oh.

Gehenos : *watching the following explosion from afar* Gotta help now.

Hunter *from behind* : Try to get me.

Gehenos *turning back* : Hey, a flammable guy ! Let's play "dodge" ! *covers the area with fire*

AM *popping from the ground* : You know what to do, Reg.

Regulus : Sure thing. *throws grenades on Gehenos' fuel tanks*

(One apocalyptic explosion later...)

Gehenos *running around screaming* : PRIMUS ! THE HEAT ! THE HEAT ! *falls into Stonegrinder's hole*

Hunter : Two less opponents. We are left with the most dangerous ones now.

John : ... Hunter, right ?

Hunter : *nods*

John : I ... think your cloak is still on fire.

Hunter : Your point being ?

John : Well ... Er ... Nevermind.

(Back to the bridge.)

Flakmaster : Vhat am I hearing, Treader ? Zese Comrades ran away ?

Treader : Yes, sir. And I've lost contact with Gehenos and Stonegrinder.

Flakmaster : Ach, zey've been beaten. But I vant to see if zey'll be able to defeat Dreadnought. Nightspinner, scout ahead.

Nightspinner *salutes* : Got it ten-four, Ground Control ! *transforms and flies away*

Flakmaster : Treader, you vill form ze backguard, vhile I lead Dreadnought. Now, let's go. Ve have Commies to crush !

(In the skies...)

Nightspinner *through radio* : Seeker to Ground Control, single unit enemy spotted. Asking for permission to intercept.

Flakmaster *through radio* : Request granted. Transmit us ze location. Flakmaster, over.

Nightspinner : It's you and me now, ground dweller ! *transforms, lands, and fires at the Comrade* Hey, wait ! Are you that Ring guy ?

John : My armor was kind of a clue, isn't it ?

Nightspinner : (Damn, damn, damn ! Skywarp told me about this guy ! He knows Jet-Judo !) *raises his weapons, shaking* O-okay ... Stand back or ... or I'll open fire !

John : *genuinely surprised* You're afraid of me ? *steps closer to the Seeker*

Nightspinner : *fires at the ground in front of Ringman* Stand back ! Not the Jet-Judo !

John : You mean ... this ? *does some kung-fu gestures*

Nightspinner : Aaaaack ! Nightspinner to Ground Control : Extraction ! Extraction !

(While Nightspinner was busy panicking, he didn't notice the skeletal robot in his back...)

Hunter : *slashes through the 'Con's neck with his claw* One down. I must admit psychological warfare is effective.

John : *shrugs* It kind of ... came to me.

Jet *coming from a building* : You have to admit, it all relied on whether or not he knew of Rebel's reputation.

John : Wait, what reputation ? I thought he was just scared of rings, or something.

Jet: It's a long story. We'll have time for it later...

Flakmaster (perched on Dreadnought's shoulder) : Except later vill NOT happen ! Blast zem to oblivion, Dreadnought !

Dreadnought : Yeth, thur. *opens fire with his whole arsenal*

(As a logical reaction, the three Comrades fled, only to be followed by the trigger-happy behemoth.)

Regulus *watching from afar* : Incredible ! He shouldn't be able to walk with all this recoil.

Sean :That's some heavy artillery.

AM : We must stop it, then. You ready, Geoff.

Geoff : From Day one, Bossman. *runs and catches Jet* Time ta shine, Lightbulb. *throws Jet in the air*

Jet: Hey, Monocle ! *activates her Flash Stopper*

Dreadnought : The light ... burnth my opticth ... *screams and gesticulates, blinded, causing Flakmaster to fall*

Jade *charging his Pharaoh Shot* A little duel, Tank-Bot ?

Flakmaster *locking his cannons on Jade* : I am no Autobot ! I am a Panzerkon !

Geoff *from behind* And now ye're one ugly mess. *punches Flakmaster in the back*

Flakmaster : How dare you ! *replies with his fist and misses Geoff by a foot*

Geoff : Guy knows nothing of melee. I used ta take lunch money from nerds like ya ! *continues the beating up*

Sean :It's fine and all, but what about the big guy ? And *suddenly worried* and Jet ?

Regulus *with Jet in his arms* : Unlike you, Geoff, some take care of their teammates.

Geoff : Eh, I've got a reputation ta defend.

AM *coming with John and Hunter* : And I believe the hole strategy does wonder on tank-bots.

Hunter : There's one left.

Treader *stopping a few metres away and transforms* : (Okay. One against eight. The others got beaten. Time to play wise.) *raises his arms* If I promise not to attack any of you, can I get back to my base with my teammates ?

Regulus : Not before we dispose of them first !

Geoff : Hush, Kermit. Them booze was fine. But we can beat up the remaining one a bit.

AM : No, Geoff. He asked a request, and knows that if he breaks his word, he'll get the beating of his life, right ?

Treader : *vigorously nods*

Jade : So, get away and don't come back soon.

(After a few teleportations back to their respective bases, and a flight from a lone Panzerkon...)

Cossack : Well, how much of the city did you destroy this time ?

Jet: Geoff insisted on paying a tribute to his feat.

Geoff : Bridges are made ta be destroyed, isn't it ?

Sean :Not in times of peace.

Jay : What do we care about the town ? Did ya bring back more booze ?

Hunter *stepping away from the group* : I have several recordings of these new enemies. Would you wish to study them now ?

Regulus : Sure thing. Believe me, Hunter, AM made a mistake on letting this one get away.

Hunter : Isn't that compassion ?

Regulus : Maybe. We will see these Panzerkons again soon ...

(Not so sure. Back to the Nemesis.)

Megatron : I see you failed as well, Flakmaster.

Starscream : Serves you right, Earth-crawlers !

Stonegrinder : Not a word, Screamer, or I'll devastate your face !

Starscream : Such bold words from a war criminal ... If you attack me, you attack Megatron as well, for I am his second-in-command !

Gehenos : Then we'll just beat the red-and-white Seeker's face to slag !

Flakmaster : (Devastate ... Devastate ... of course !) Mein lord, I hafe a new plan !

Megatron : Really ? And what will make me tolerate your incompetence ?

Flakmaster : Actually ... *whsipers to Megatron* ... Interested ?

Megatron : *grinning broadly* Of course ! After all, it is natural to fail the first time.

Starscream : And what is the reason of this change of spark, my liege ?

Megatron : You will know soon enough, Starscream, for you will help them from now on.

Treader : Yeah. As a walking target ...

Panzerkons : *laugh*

Starscream : I ... don't like this laugh.


Cossack's Comrades

AM as
Drill Man
Sean as
Dust Man
Geoff as
Dive Man
  Jet as
Bright Babe
Hunter as
Skull Man
John as
Ring Man
Jade as
Pharaoh Man
Regulus as
Toad Man


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