And Now For Something Completely Different!

(It's a bright sunny day in the city of Angel Grove. It is quiet and peaceful and all is well...But- WAIT! Your eyes do not deceive you! For this epilogue is set, not in the city that the Mega Man 3 team the Mechanical Maniacs reside in, but another land! Oddly similar to out own, yet with a disturbingly wholesome quality one cannot escape. For in this land there are no "Super-Heroes" only...the Power Rangers! Thus, we look now to the Power Ranger's home base, where the giant floating gelatinous blob known only as Zordon alerts the Rangers to their newest "threat"!)

Green: Zordon, do we ALL really have to be here!?

Zordon: Yes, Tommy.

Green: But Zordon! I have a really important martial arts tournament I can't skip out on!! It could get me into college!

Red: Tommy, your duties as a Power Ranger are more important than some martial arts tournament!

Green: HEY! Screw you, Jason! Because you always call me to bail you guys out of battles, I'm failing High School! And you don't even need me there most of the time! There are 5 of you, can't you handle a threat with just that - just once!?

Blue: You know, some of us have the time management skills to get good grades AND do our duties as Rangers!

Green: YOU HAVE ONE CLASS! And it's the "special" class too! Damnit, I have my future to think about!

Yellow: Tommy, I think you just need to -

Green: NO! Man, if I lose this tournament, that's one less chance to get a scholarship and -

Red: Why don't you just be quiet now, Tommy.

Zordon: Indeed, Green Ranger. For this time your help is needed even moreso than before!

Green: Why? Oh no, lemme guess. Rita remade that fish monster and -

Blue: AAAAHHHHH! No! Fish!

Pink: Oh, Tommy! You know how Billy is scared of fish! Now he's wet himself because of your callousness!

Green: But -

Zordon: Quiet, Green Ranger! Rita has done something even more diabolical than you can imagine!

Black: What has that witch done this time, Zordon?

Zordon: Behold the viewing globe!

(All the Rangers look into Zordon's globe, which has the reception of a TV from the 1970's! Still, they are able to somehow see and hear...)

Torchman: COME OUT POWER RANGERS! Face me, Torchman! Or are you too scared?

Black: That...doesn't look like one of Rita's monsters...

Pink: Yeah...it's not a pig...or a chicken...or a lump of plastic with a zipper in the back!

Yellow: What is it, Zordon?

Zordon: Rita has done something truly unexpected. She has outsourced and hired new -

Red: "Outsourced"? "Hired"? What are you saying, Zordon??

Zordon: Forgive me, Jason. I sometimes forget who I'm speaking to. Rita is getting help from that robot - Torchman - who is outside of the Power Ranger continuity. And thus he does not -

Black: Come on, Zordon! Enough with the fancy talk! We need to know who we're fighting if we can beat this guy!

Zordon: Torchman is from the Megaman games. His weapon is the Torch Arm which is weak there, but in this universe it is a powerful weapon!

Blue: Zordon...your explanations are perplexing. If this nameless fire monster -

Zordon: His name is Torchman -

Blue: His name is not really important, Zordon! We face hundreds of monsters and I don't remember half of them. But what is important is why he's so different from the usual monsters and more importantly, what he can do!

Green: Ugh.

Zordon: He's a robot from the Megaman series! His weapon is Torch Arm which, here is quite powerful!

Red: I see...this is a test! Well, we'll prove we're worthy of the Ranger power by defeating this monster with no information at all!

(The Rangers teleport out!)

Zordon: Sometimes...I wonder why I even try...

(The Rangers arrive at the scene!)

Torch: Ah, there you are! I trust that "Zordon" guy told you that I'm not from around here! So don't expect an easy battle!

Red: "Not from around here"!? What do you mean??

Green: OH, COME ON! If we beat this guy fast I can still - !

Pink: HUSH, Tommy. Hush.

Torch: Well, you see...recently life has not been very fair to me. I was once leader of a mighty Megaman team - the Sinister Six! We were regarded by all as the one TRUE Sinister Six and the one TRUE Megaman 3 team...at least that's what I thought. One day the OTHER MM3 team - the Mechanical Maniacs - threw this huge party. They invited everyone, even Doctor Wily - DOCTOR WILY! But they did not invite me, or my Sinister Six...We kinda broke up...Thus I realized that the Mechanical Maniacs are kind of up 'nyah' (Torch levels his hand above his head indicating the Maniacs' high status), while I'm a bit...down 'nyah' (Torch levels his other hand at about waist level). And so I need someone I can actually beat.

Black: Yeah, well your luck is all bad because you ran into the POWER RANGERS instead!!

Torch: I don't think you understand! I'm 'nyah' (Puts hand at waist level.) and you're 'NYAH'! (Puts hand at shin level.)

...

Torch: More like...more like 'nyah' (Torch's hand nearly touches the ground, indicating the Power Rangers' level).

Yellow: I don't get it.

Blue: Quite perplexing indeed.

Green: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU GUYS!? He just said we're as low as dirt! Are we just gonna take that!?

Yellow: (Waves arms) NO! You better get mellow, or you'll face - YELLOW!

Blue: (Flails limbs) We're not gonna sue, but now you face - BLUE!

Pink: (Dances around) You're a fink and you're gonna take a beating from - PINK!

Black: (Imitates martial arts) Now it's time to attack with the power of - BLACK!

Red: (Dramatic pose) You're gonna wish you stayed in bed, because now you face - RED!

...

Green: What?

Pink: (Whispering) Tommy! Hurry up! We have to start the battle!

Green: Let's just start then!

Blue: (Whispering) We can't until you do the dance of threats too!

(Suddenly, the Rangers are attacked by Torchman!)

Red: HEY! That's against the rules!!

Torch: I don't play by your stupid rules!! Now face the NEW Sinister Six! GO! Waveman!

Putty: Blublupalbulblu!? (Cannot comprehend.)

...

Torch: All together then!

Putties: Lululalableblelalu!? (Cannot comprehend.)

Torch: Attack, my friends!

...

Putties: Blulalauplamlalula!? (Cannot comprehend.)

(The five Putties start jumping in place like monkeys!)

Green: AGH! This is so stupid!

(Green Ranger fights and defeats all five Putties easily!)

Torch: NO! My...friends...YOU SHALL PAY!

(Torch uses Torch Arm and the Rangers are knocked back!)

Green: Finally...A CHALLENGE!!!!

(Green Ranger erupts into a fury of punches, kicks, and slices with his Dragon Dagger! Torchman has no time to put up a defense!)

Green: This'll show you to take us by surprise!!

Red: (Holding Green back) That's enough, Tommy!

Green: What the hell!? Don't call me by my real name in front of the enemy!

Blue: Well, what are we supposed to call you? "Green"? Isn't that kinda (snort) silly?

Green: Well it's better than blowing our SECRET IDENTITIES!!!

Black: Geez! Calm down, man!

Green: NO! Yesterday some stupid kid was trying to blackmail me after you MORONS shouted my name in costume a billion times! Took some pictures while I was changing into Green Ranger!

Yellow: What happened??

Green: Well, I'm not gonna jump through hoops for some stupid kid! I told him I didn't really believe that he had any pictures and to show them to me. When he did, I grabbed them! They were instant pictures so I was safe. I told him if he ever bugged me again I'd -

Red: You stole from and bullied a KID!?

Green: WELL I COULDN'T LET HIM KEEP THE PICTURES, COULD I??

Torch: Um, excuse me...?

Pink: Oh, Tommy, that's low...Threatening the kid...

Green: THAT BRAT WAS BLACKMAILING ME!!!!!

Torch: Um, hello? Evil robot here!

Green: THIS STOPPED BEING ABOUT YOU!!!

Torch: I DEMAND YOUR ATTENTION!

Green: Do you want to die!? Because I can seriously kick your ass!

Torch: Really? I don't think so!

Green: Screw it! I'm goin' for broke!

(Green Ranger pulls out his dagger and starts playing!)

Torch: Mwa-ahahahaha! What the hell are you doing??

Green: (Thinking) Yeah, keep laughing, asshole!

Torch: Honestly, what...?

(Suddenly, Dragonzord appears and raises his foot!)

Torch: What!!

(Suddenly, Green Ranger is stopped cold and the Dragonzord stops in its tracks as Red Ranger gets Green in a lock!)

Green: What do you think you're doing!?

Red: We're the good guys, Tommy! We fight fair!

Green: Again with the real names...Look "RED" I can kill him right here, right now! And I swear to God if you ever touch me again...

(Meanwhile, on the moon...)

Rita: Looks like Torch needs to grow!

Baboo: Aw, why bother. The Rangers have more robots than they do members!

Rita: SILENCE! He'll be much stronger when he grows!

(Rita makes Torchman grow, only...)

Torch: WHAT THE HELL!?

(Torchman is surprised and unused to being so big and falls on his back, knocking down many buildings!)

Torch: Would be nice to get some warning!!

Pink: Oh - my - God! Rita's made the monster -

Green: Robot.

Pink: Whatever! It grew! What are we gonna do!?

Red: It's time for -

(Torchman then kicks all the Rangers away!)

Black: HEY! What's the deal!?

Pink: We let you get big! Now let us call our Zords!

Torch: Hm. Lemme think...- NO!

(Torchman starts trying to squash the Rangers...)

Green: (Thinking) Gotta get to Dragonzord...

(Green jumps high and lands on Torchman's nose!)

Torch: Wha??

(Green then shoots Torchman in his eyes!)

Torch: AAGH!

(Green then jumps into Dragonzord!)

Red: HEY! That was low!

Green: HE'S TRYING TO KILL US!

(Dragonzord and Torch battle and Dragonzord is holding his own!)

Red: Alright, guys...now it's our turn. Everyone! Summon your Zords!

(As the other Rangers dance around and summon their Zords, Tommy fights Torch!)

(Now the Rangers are in their Zords and have formed the Megazord! [Note: Megazord does not have his sword right now. The sprite does, but in the story, it dosn't. Sue me, all sprites of the Megazord have the sword.])

Green: Alright, guys! Finishing touch, now!

Torch: I don't think so!

(Torch fires Torch Arm at the Megazord!)

Blue: NO! He's compromised the Megazord's superstructure!

Green: "Superstructure"...you mean the cardboard it's made of, right?

Blue: YES! Quickly, Tommy! Pass the patching material!

Green:...You mean the duct tape, right?

Blue: DO I HAVE TO SPELL EVERYTHING OUT FOR YOU!? YES!!

(Green manages to pass the duct tape to the other Rangers!)

Green: Alright now, get this over with! Torchman's winded, we can kill him with one hit from that sword!

Torch: No!

(Green made Dragonzord jump on top of Torch, pinning him!)

Green: NOW!!

Red: Wait! We need more power!

(Red summons the Tigerzord!)

Green: Any time, guys!

(The NinjaMegazord!)

Green: I can't keep him here forever!

(The Falconzord!)

(The MegaTigerzord!)

Green: Just use the damn sword! We can finish this right now!!

(The Shogunzord!)

(Torchman is almost free!)

Green: The SWORD!

Black: Do we use the sword?

Red:...We need more power. Prepare to morph!

(The Rangers' Zords start combining! As they do their transformation sequence, Torchman gets free!)

Torch: I'll just destroy all your cardboard Zords with my Torch Arm! Summon one or ten hundred!

Green: (Thinking) Man, the others are gonna take at least another half hour! I gotta act NOW! Hmmmmm...There are gas lines under Torchman right now...

(Dragonzord fires missiles at the ground and a huge explosion erupts throughout the area!)

Torch: What!?

(Torchman falls!)

Green: Alright!

(Green summons the sword!)

Green:(Thinking) Dragonzord can't pick up the sword, it doesn't have the right kind of limbs, but if I get this right...

(The Power Sword comes flying from the sky and stabs Torch right in the chest!)

Torch: Arrrgh!

Green: YEAH! And now, I'll use the remote to activate the sword and the power buildup will -

Red: TOMMY! STOP! Darn it. We're done morphing! We have to use the big gun now!!

Green: But - !

Red: Tommy, just wait!

Torch: (Thinking) This - this is my chance!

(Torchman then teleports out of the area to safety just as the Rangers fire their huge blaster! The explosion levels the area around the battle for several city blocks!)

Green: AHHHHHH!!

(And so the Rangers teleport back to base...)

Zordon: Well done, Rangers! You have saved Angel Grove!

Green: Wha - saved? They destroyed most of it!

Zordon: Your eyes deceive you, Tommy. What appears as massive destruction is in actuality a very small portion the the city. Besides. People can always rebuild material things, it is lives that are important!

Green: Lives!? How many died in those buildings after those boneheads - !

Red: Tommy, name calling is immature and unbecoming of a Ranger! Why don't you sit down and be quiet?!

Green: But -

Red: Put a sock in it, Tommy!

Pink: At least you'll make your tournament, Tommy.

Green: Yeah? Well it was in the gym. And you know where the gym is?

All: ...

Green: It was one of the buildings you blew up!

Yellow: Tommy, you just have to look for the positive! At least you weren't IN the gym when we blew it up!

Green: ...

Black: Yeah! In a way - we saved your life! If we didn't make you come, we would've blown you up along with that part of the city!

Green: Or you coulda just used the damn sword when Torchman was pinned!

Black: Ah, there's no sense in wondering "what if"?

Red: And I think we all learned a valuable lesson in teamwork. If Tommy had just been a team player instead of a lone cowboy, we would have beaten Torch for sure!

Green: Gah!! Or maybe if you guys would just cut the dance numbers, we could be taken seriously!

Yellow: Oh, Tommy...so much to learn...

(And, elsewhere...)

Rita: You failed! You're useless!

Torch: Oh yeah!? Well, if you could do so much better, why not go down there and try it out yourself!?

Baboo: Hey! You can't talk to her like that!

Torch: You know, I don't HAVE to stay here! It's not like you're paying me!

Rita: You'll do as I SAY!!

Torch: FORGET IT! I'm outta here! You know, I learned something today! I never realized it before, but there's such a thing as TOO stupid!

Rita: OOOOOOH! I have a HEADACHE!

Baboo: Oh dear!

Rita: MIGRAINE!!!!!

Baboo: What a bitch!

(And...elsewhere still...)

Snake: Hm...I guess things turned out all right after all...

Needlegal: Yeah, and we learned something too...

Gauntlet: That Jimmy cracks corn, but we don't care?

Needlegal: No, silly. We learned that you gotta be true to who you are. When Snakeman became the world's greatest serpentine wrestler, he became this big phony. We couldn't stand him! That's because he was not being true to himself. Once he fought Stone Cold Steve Austin and lost, he learned a valuable lesson about personal integrity. Stone Cold showed him that he was not meant to be a professional wrestler as he turned into a professional jerk!

Magnet: But I still can't believe Topman beat the Rock! He's usually such a puny guy!

Snake: DAMN YOU STONE COLD!!! If it wasn't for him, I'd have been great! But I guess being a pro wrestler isn't for me.

Hard Chika: Hey, at least you didn't gain - and then lose - ten million dollars betting on yourself, Snake!

Gemini: Yeah.

Top: Well, until Snakeman is the world champion of wrestling, we are...the Mechanical Maniacs!


THE END

Cast:
Sean as .....

Sparkman
Jacob as .....

Snakeman
Psycho Magnet as .....

Needlegal
Sarah as .....

Hard Chick
Nightmare as .....

Geminiman Red
C.J. as .....

Topman
Lennon as .....

Geminiman
Titanium 91 as .....

Magnetman
Gauntlet as .....

Shadowman

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