Darkman's Robot Warriors

Epilogue 1:
"An introduction- and a bloody boring one too..."

By Stone Man

The team are relaxing in their HQ, watching TV- Stone Man is asleep on the couch

Star ManStar Man: So... This is our first episode.

Gyro ManGyro Man: Yep, pretty original so far, huh? I mean not many teams start by watching TV...

Star ManStar: Do I detect a hint of sarcasm, Gyro?

Gyro ManGyro: Not at all...

Napalm ManNapalm Man: Ssh! I can't hear the TV!

Crystal ManCrystal Man: Good grief, Napalm- It's Scooby Doo, it's not as if we don't know the plot already!

Charge ManCharge Man: Yeah, every episode is the same. There's no originality whatsoever!

Gyro ManGyro (Mumbles): Not like our team, of course...

Star ManStar: I heard that Gyro!

Gravity ManGravity: Don't worry, heh- I'm in this team, that makes us original.

Gyro ManGyro: Yeah, and I'll bet that makes this makes good reading too...

Napalm ManNapalm: Shh!

No conversation for a minute or so...

TV: "Yikes! A ghost!!!"

Gyro ManGyro: I can't believe this!! I'm so bored!!! ARRG!!

Napalm ManNapalm: JUST SHUT UP FOR-

Suddenly there is a sudden knock at the door

Star ManGyro ManNapalm ManCrystal ManCharge ManGravity ManEveryone: Wow! That was sudden!

Star ManStar: And unexpected- I guess I'd better go and answer it...

Star Man opens the door

StrangerStranger: Hello, is this the...(looks at clipboard) Darkman's Warriors team?

Star ManStar: Well, actually we're called 'Star Man's Wonder Galaxy Guardians' now.

Gyro ManNapalm ManCrystal ManCharge ManGravity ManEveryone: WHAT THE-?

Star ManStar: Uh- Didn't I tell you guys...? Er...

Everyone glares at Star Man- a painful silence follows

Gravity ManGravity (To Stranger): Yes, we are 'Darkman's Warriors'.

Napalm ManNapalm: Who are you?

Arch NemesisStranger: MWAHAHA! I can now reveal that I am in fact your Arch Nemesis!!!

Arch Nemesis strikes a villainous pose


Crystal Man raises an eyebrow

Star ManStar: Ah... We didn't order an Arch Nemesis...

Arch Nemesis droops

StrangerArch Nemesis: You didn't?

Crystal ManCrystal: No. We didn't.

StrangerArch: But- But everyone needs an Arch Nemesis! You need me- I need you!

Gyro ManGyro: We don't- Go Away! You're too unoriginal!

Napalm ManNapalm: Yeah! Get lost!

StrangerArch: But...But-

Crystal ManCrystal: I don't care about your butt- get out of here!

Star ManStar: Amscray!

Charge ManCharge: Amscray?

Star ManStar: It's Pig Latin.

Charge ManCharge: Oh.

StrangerArch: I...I... This is SO unfair!!! I spent three bloody years at the arch nemesis college and training center, and nobody wants me as their Arch Nemesis!! I hate this! I hate all of you! Look at me- I'm a wreck! A wreck! (sobs uncontrollably)

Crystal ManCrystal: Oh-kay...

The Arch Nemesis continues to wail

Napalm ManNapalm (through clenched teeth): Can somebody shut him up! I want to watch the rest of Scooby Doo.

Gravity ManGravity (to Arch Nemesis): I suppose you could be a 'little' Arch Nemesis...

The Arch Nemesis immediately lights up

StrangerArch: Really? Thankyou! Thankyou! I'm so happy!!!

Star ManStar: Just a 'minor' one though- Nothing too big.

StrangerArch: Can I try and take over the world? Can I? Please?

Star ManStar: Um...

StrangerArch: Oh please! Just a little bit! Please!!

Star ManStar: I suppose so- Just a little bit, though.

StrangerArch: Thankyou!! I'll go and get started right away!! (runs off)

Gyro ManGyro: Did you have to do that, Star? I really can't be assed to go and fight some moronic enemy!

Napalm ManNapalm: Hey, you kept saying you were bored! This is what you get!

Charge ManCharge: I wanna sit down- Can somebody get Stone Man off the couch?

Crystal ManCrystal: Have you ever tried to get Stone Man off a couch?

Gyro ManGyro: Yo- Stoney, Wake up! Space Brain over there just went and got us a flipping Arch Nemesis!

Star Man glares at Gyro Man

Stone ManStone Man (opens an eye): Wha? Bugger. Is it dangerous?

Charge ManCharge: Not really... He's only trying to take over the world.

Stone ManStone: Oh that's nice. Has he had any success yet? The Sinister Six or someone will probably stop him...

Star ManStar (smiles): Well actually, I don't think he's that much of a threat...For some reason...

Crystal Man chuckles

Stone ManStone: Hey, where's Fish dude?

Star ManStar: Wave Man?

Stone ManStone: Uh Yeah, him.

Star ManStar: I dunno- I haven't seen him... But we better start the meeting without him.

Napalm ManNapalm: Listen, I don't wanna be fancy pants super heroes, that sucks.

Gyro ManGyro: Yeh, it's so unoriginal.

Charge ManCharge: I know- why don't we be mystery solvers, we could solve peoples mysteries and stuff...

Napalm ManNapalm: Like Scooby Doo?

Charge ManCharge: Uh- yeah.

Gyro ManGyro: Or like the X-Files.

Charge ManCharge: Yeah!

Gyro ManGyro: No.

Stone ManStone: Shouldn't we be doing something? I mean something more interesting?

Gravity ManGravity: Hmm... Yes, I suppose so.

Crystal ManCrystal: Like what? It's not our fault that nothing ever happens around here!

Stone ManStone: Well, it's kind of my fault, I suppose. I'm writing this epilogue.

Crystal ManCrystal: I can't believe you would write such a boring introduction!

Stone ManStone: Well, someone had to do it!

Crystal ManCrystal: But people are going to think that we're boring! You realise they'll never read another of our epilogues again!

Stone ManStone: But we are boring! And besides- what makes you think that anyone's actually reading this now?

Star ManStar: Sorry Stone, but I have to agree with Crystal- I'm going to end this here, before anything else happens!

Stone ManStone: But...!

Star ManStar: You've got 5 seconds to finish the epilogue! 5...

Stone ManStone: Wait!!

Star ManStar:...4...

Crystal ManCrystal: (Snicker)

Star ManStar:...3...

Charge ManCharge: Hurry up already!

Star ManStar:...2...

Suddenly there is a loud rumble, and something really exciting happens

Star ManStar:...1...

Napalm ManNapalm: Wait! I want to find out who kidnapped Scooby Doo!

TV: "Jeepers, Shaggy! I never would have suspected it to be-"


Crystal ManCrystal: Phew! Thank God!


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