Darkman's Robot Warriors

DRW starring in:
"A little more Action: Part Two"

By Stone Man

This time, we find the team chained up in a cell, Six of them having just witnessed the death of Mega Man

Star ManStar: I thought you guys were going to save me- Not get caught yourselves!

Charge ManCharge: It's not our fault, Star.

Gyro ManGyro: Yeah, you were the one who got caught in the first place!

Star ManStar: I was going to get your drinks, cause you were too lazy to get your ass out of-

Crystal ManCrystal: Oh- did you get the drinks?

Star ManStar: No, I did not get the bloody drinks!!!

Gravity ManGravity: Listen... We're all feeling a little testy, so-

Gyro ManGyro: I AM NOT!!! I wouldn't go near a testicle!

Star ManNapalm ManCrystal ManCharge ManGravity ManStone ManAll: What the...???

Napalm ManNapalm: You know I hate it when you guys fight! It makes me all scared...

Crystal ManCrystal (mumbles): Doesn't everything?

Gravity ManGravity: I think everyone is stressed because of the trauma we've just been subjected to...

Star ManStar: You- Trauma? I'm the one who's been locked up in here for the whole day! No-one but sleazy politicians to talk to!

Al Gore: I resent that!

Charge ManCharge: What he means is...(sniff)...

Gravity ManGravity: Whichever evil guy is in charge of this...whoever it is- they just killed Mega Man.

Star ManStar: WHAT?! That's impossible! What kind of moronic idiot would do that?!!

Charge ManCharge: (sniff)...What do you mean?

Crystal ManCrystal: Well, he is the source of all our publicity! Or rather, was...

Star ManStar: That's terrible! I can't believe it! Why didn't you guys save him?!

Gravity ManGravity: Star, you're hysterical! It wasn't our fault! The best thing we can do is to try and get out of here.

Star ManStar: I suppose you're right... listen, I'm sorry for being such a fool, it's just that...

Napalm ManNapalm: Hey, don't worry about it man. We're all stressed out, and that was a sudden shock...

Stone ManStone: I've been thinking... who could be behind all this? Not Wily...he's too stupid...

Crystal ManCrystal: Hey! You don't suppose it's our Arch Nemesis do you?

Star ManStar: That little shrimp? I doubt it.

Charge ManCharge: Why?

Star ManStar: Well, for a start, he's sitting over there...


Stone ManStone: Yeah, whatever mate...

Suddenly a crackly PA system begins to speak...

Voice: HAHA! Just to update you all... I have video-taped Mega Man's death, and I will show it on the 6:00 news!

All Hostages: Gasp!

Voice: With no hero to save them, all the world will be forced to give in to my demands!!! Okay, I'm done gloating...

The hostages begin talking nervously, and some of the politicians start betting on when the world will end

Star ManStar: We must do something!

Crystal ManCrystal: Why? To avenge Mega Man's death, and save the world?

Star ManStar: No- because that evil bastard has gotten me really pissed off!

Crystal ManCrystal: Oooh... Bad move, evil bastard...

Star ManStar: We all have super powers! We can stop this menace! But first we must escape...

Stone ManStone: Uh... I don't have any super powers.

Star ManStar: Sure you do- you can transform into a small pile of ston- Oh, I see your point.

Stone ManStone: How come I'm the only one amongst you without any super powers or natural weapons? Neither does Charge man, I guess..

Crystal ManCrystal: Well... he can do good train impressions...

Charge ManCharge: Shut up!

Stone ManStone: It just doesn't seem fair. (pause) I know! I may not have any super powers, but I can go and get my gun!

Stone Man gets up, all his chains snapping, and runs straight through the wall, creating a massive hole...

...Perfectly demonstrating his lack of super powers...

Star ManStar: Well that solves one problem... Now how do we get out of these chains? (focuses power)


Star ManStar: A good old Star blast solves any problem!

A couple of minutes later, Star Man has released the rest of the team...Except for Napalm Man, who insisted he wanted to release himself...


Gyro ManGyro: GOOD GRIEF, MAN!!! You killed all the hostages!

Al Gore: Nope... I'm still here.

StrangerArch: So am I!! This proves that I am ready for world domination! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!

Napalm ManNapalm: Okay, let's go.

Politicians: What about us? Aren't you going to release us?

Crystal ManCrystal: Um... no.

The team run outside, determined to stop the dreadful news from being told

Gravity ManGravity: Something's been bothering me...

Star ManStar: Those massive wing things on your shoulders, right?

Crystal ManCrystal: You need to go to the toilet?

Gravity ManGravity: No. It's something about this plot... there's something wrong... but I just can't think what it is...

Star ManStar: We must get to the TV station... lets take the van!

Gyro ManNapalm ManCrystal ManCharge ManGravity ManOthers: Er...

So they all catch a taxi

Crystal ManCrystal: I don't know how we all fit in this thing...Lucky Stone Man's not here!

Gyro ManGyro: Yeah... He's gone to get his...gun?

Crystal ManCrystal: I never knew he had one. I'm surprised he hasn't shot anyone with it.

Taxi-Cab Driver: Right, here you are. That'll be 95 yen, please.

Charge ManCharge: But we're not in Japan!

Taxi-Cab Driver: Well in that case... $250.00, please.

Gyro ManGyro: Methinks you're giving us a dodgy deal, Mr Cab Driver type fool type person! Yo!

Charge ManCharge: We're not going to pay that much. In fact we're not going to pay anything, cause we have cool super powers and you don't.

Taxi-Cab Driver: Actually, you're just a train. I don't think that qualifies as a super power.

Charge ManCharge: ARRG!! (Charges into taxi, knocking it over)

Star ManStar: Way to go Charge Man! Now come on, we've got to move fast- it's already 4:00!

Gravity ManGravity: I just can't think what it is...Something very wrong here...

Our six heroes march into the TV station, easily avoiding the Security Guards and CCTV systems

Crystal ManCrystal: This seems too easy...

Receptionist: Hello, Welcome to TV Center 455 how may I help you?

Star ManStar: Er, We are here to stop the evil madman.

Receptionist: I'm sorry sir, but I don't know what you are talking about.

Gyro ManGyro: You know, the one who was on the urgent news flash!

Receptionist: Let me see...Our last urgent news flash was almost 3 weeks ago... and it involved seven skeletal-chickens invading a supermarket...but no evil madman.

Charge ManCharge: Surely you know who we're talking about! He said he took over this TV station!

Receptionist: This TV station is publicly owned- It's not possible for anyone to take it over. That's why we only air crap shows like Scooby Doo, and-

Napalm ManNapalm: HEY!

Star ManStar: Forget it guys- The evil dude must have been bluffing... but why?

Gravity ManGravity: If I could just remember what it was!

Receptionist: Wait! Don't go- We've just recieved an urgent news flash! Perhaps it's the one you meant!

Crystal ManCrystal: Okay lady, what is it?

Receptionist: I'm not a lady! I'm a man! What makes you assume all receptionists are women?!

Crystal ManCrystal: Er.. Sorry.

Receptionist: Okay then, I'll feed the news flash through... and here it is: 'An upturned taxi is causing the flow of traffic to slowly grind to a halt. The driver claims that he was attacked by a train with arms and legs. It is believed the driver may possibly have ingested some hallucinogenic-'

The team head back to where they originally witnessed Mega Man's death...

Crystal ManCrystal: Well, no clues here. Maybe we should just head back home...

Star ManStar: Euugh! Everythings covered in blood- you didn't tell me Mega Man died so messy!

Gyro ManGyro: Yeah, he was standing just here- and then his head like, just exploded...

Charge ManCharge: This voice was saying stuff about eternal pain and-

Gravity ManGravity: That's it! I've got it! The voice...Mega Man's death...

Napalm ManNapalm: What? Tell us!

Gravity ManGravity: It's so simple! Mega Man is a robot!

Star ManStar: You're right. It is simple. Unfortunately, also entirely irrelevant!

Gravity ManGravity: No! I mean- If he's a robot, then why was there so much blood when he died! He shouldn't have bled at all!

Crystal ManCrystal: You're right! There wouldn't have been more than a bit of oil, and some colourful sparks!

Gravity ManGravity: Exactly! So that means that, whatever died here- it wasn't Mega Man...

Mega ManMega Man: And it might not have even died...



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