Darkman's Robot Warriors

DRW starring in:
"We can't cat-walk"

By Stone Man

Things seem to be running pretty smoothly at the DRW HQ... Everyone is watching TV...

Star ManStar: These damned ad breaks! I hate television!!

Mega ManMega Man: Nah, I kinda like the breaks...

Gyro ManGyro: Huh? What do you mean?!

Mega ManMega Man: If there weren't any breaks in the middle of long movies, then we'd never be able to...

Crystal ManCrystal: ...Take a break?

Gravity ManGravity (yawning): Good idea. I think I need one.

Mega ManMega Man: Anyways... Thanks for inviting me over- You'll have to come around to the lab sometime, we have a wide-screen there.

Star ManStar: Hey, no problem, buddy- Drop in whenever you want.

Napalm ManNapalm: And we might just take you up on that offer. Wide-screen, hmm...

Mega ManMega Man: Great. Feel free.

Crystal ManCrystal: Aaah! I feel so free! Ohhh!

Charge ManCharge: Shhh! The ridiculously long and conveniently timed ad break has finished!

TVTV: "...Grrr! Get this mutt off me!"

Stone ManStone: Go Scooby! Unmask the villainous hamburger fiend!


Gravity ManGravity: Aw, no! It's the doorbell.

Star ManStar: Don't look at me, guys! I always answer it!!

Mega ManMega Man: No worries, I'll get it.

Typically selfless, Mega Man walks to the door- missing the best part of the show. Wow, he's such a great guy. Yeah, couldn't we all do with friends like that? Well I know I could. In fact, once I had a friend who...

Crystal ManCrystal (calls out): If it's the pizza-delivery guy, tell him we ain't paying, he's three days late!

Mega ManMega Man (opening door): Hello?

Wave ManWave Man: Mega Man!

Yes folks, it's what you've all been waiting for... the dramatic return of Wave Man!!

Mega ManMega Man: Er...hi?

Wave ManWave Man: Mega Man!

Pretty dramatic, huh?

Mega ManMega Man: Er...yes?

Wave ManWave Man: Mega Man!


Wave ManWave Man: Mega Man! You have taken over the HQ?!

Mega ManMega Man: What?

Wave ManWave Man: You have destroyed all my friends and taken over our HQ?!

Mega ManMega Man: Um?

Wave ManWave Man: REVENGE!!! I must avenge my friends!! But first... AAIEEEE!!!! (runs away)

Mega Man returns back to the others

Mega ManMega Man: Oh-kay...

Gyro ManGyro: Well- Who was it?

Crystal ManCrystal: Yeah, did you teach that pizza-boy a lesson?

Mega ManMega Man: It was Wave Man.

Star ManGyro ManNapalm ManCrystal ManCharge ManGravity ManStone ManAll: Wave Man?!!

Mega ManMega Man: Um... yes. But he ran away, because he thought I destroyed you all.

Gyro ManGyro: Damn! He owed me a fiver.

Crystal ManCrystal: Okay- Back to the TV!

TVTV: "...So-You mean you're not the ghoul?"

Napalm ManNapalm: I knew it wouldn't be Jenkins! That means the real villain must be...

TVTV: "...That means the real villain must be-"

Charge ManCharge: Finally! At last we get to see who the villain is!

TVTV: "...BOOOM!!"

Gyro ManGyro: ACK! A badly animated explosion!!

Star ManStar: I guess we didn't pay our taxes...

Gravity ManGravity: They blow up your TV if you don't pay your taxes?!!

A short while later...

Stone ManStone: We're ruined! We can't possibly afford to pay all of this!

Napalm ManNapalm: And we've got to get the TV fixed!

Crystal ManCrystal: And we still need to get a Coke machine!

Charge ManCharge: And we haven't payed our rent for 3 months!

Star ManStar: So... If we want to keep our HQ, and everything else... We need some money...

Stone ManStone: There's only one thing to do!

Gyro ManGyro: Go back to the bank? No, wait- We've already spent an episode doing that...

Stone ManStone: We must hold a fashion show! It will raise money, and provide cheap laughs!

Crystal ManCrystal: Aw, couldn't we just sell home-made Lemonade?

Later on, when things are prepared...

Charge ManCharge: I don't want to dress up.

Star ManStar: Don't worry, you won't have to- We're gonna judge it. Inventors will bring in their latest robots, and they can parade on the catwalk-

Charge ManCharge: What, the inventors?

Star ManStar: No. The robots.

Napalm ManNapalm: Oh. I wanted to wear a dress.

Gyro ManGyro: ?

Napalm ManNapalm: Er... I mean... formal dress?

Gyro ManGyro: Sure.


Gravity ManGravity: Great! That must be the first robot to arrive. Come in!

ContestantContestant: Hello! Is this the robot show?

Star ManStar: Yes, welcome! Who are you?

ContestantContestant: I am the fearsome... Crusty Cheese Man!!

Stone ManStone: Crusty Cheese Man?!

Crusty Cheese ManCrusty Cheese Man: Yes! Watch as I fire macaroni from my nostrils!

Crystal ManCrystal: Please don't.

Star ManStar: Well... er... We're very pleased to have you here...um.. Crusty Cheese.

Gyro ManGyro (looking around): Where did he go?

Crusty Cheese ManCrusty Cheese: Help me! I'm being eaten by a train!

Charge ManCharge (with his mouth full): Munch, Munch- I am NOT a train!

Star ManStar: You idiot! Don't eat the contestants!


Stone ManStone: I'll get the door...

Charge ManCharge: Please, Please, be a dessert! C'mon!

Gyro ManGyro: Hey, It's Centaur Man.

Centaur ManCentaur Man: Uh, hi. Can I borrow a cup of sugar?

Stone ManStone: Sure- I'll just go and get one.

Centaur ManCentaur Man: Here- I brought my own cup.

Stone ManStone: Even better.

Gravity ManGravity: Well, I hope we get some real contestants soon.

Charge ManCharge: Or perhaps a Chocolate Cake man... or even a Toffee Man!

Stone ManStone: Here's your cup of sugar. Oh, and a complimentary weevil.

Centaur ManCentaur Man: Thanks, You see I'm trying to make this cake and-

Charge ManCharge (drooling): Chocolate Cake?!!

Centaur ManCentaur Man: Uh, I think I'd better go... Thanks for the sugar!

Gravity ManGravity: Groan! We need to start the contest, but we have no contestants!

Mega ManMega Man: Wha- Huh? What's going on? I think I fell asleep.

Star ManStar: We're still waiting for contestants...

Mega ManMega Man: Oh. ...and why is there macaroni in my ear?

Charge ManCharge: I'm a messy eater.


Crystal ManCrystal: Is it just me, or is there something wrong with that doorbell?

Cut Man?Contestant: Hello? I'm here to be in the show.

Gyro ManGyro: Cut Man?

Cut Man?Contestant: No- I am an improved model!

Star ManStar: Yes, I can see you have a bigger cutter.

Paper Cut ManContestant: Not only bigger but... Paper! For I am 'Papercut Man'!!

Charge ManCharge: Papercut Man?

Gyro ManGyro: God... What kind of moron would invent a robot like that?

Paper Cut ManPapercut Man: Don't mock me!! Swift death to all those who mock me!!

Gyro ManGyro: Yeah?

Paper Cut ManPapercut: Applies lemon juice to his cutter MWAHAHAHA!!!

Stone ManStone: He's almost as bad as Arch.

Crystal ManCrystal: Almost.

Paper Cut ManPapercut: What about you, Stone freak? Rock may beat Scissors, but Paper beats Rock!!

Mega ManMega Man: I'm Rock! He's Stone.

Stone ManStone: Yeah, get it right.

Paper Cut ManPapercut: I will destroy you all!!

Napalm ManNapalm: You won't defeat me! Eat Napalm!!

Paper Cut ManPapercut (running away): Oh S**t.

Later, when everything is tidied (relatively) and Mega Man has returned home...

Star ManStar: Well... that was a waste of time. We didn't get one serious contestant!

Gravity ManGravity: Damn! We're still in debt too...


Stone ManStone: I wonder who that is?

A strange form enters the building- a robot made from almost anything and everything...

Star ManStar: Sorry, the contest is over. It was a bit of a failure.

Late Contestant: I, Gimmick Man, pledge service to you!

Star ManStar: Pardon?

Gimmick Man: I may not be much, but my creator was going to enter me into the contest- before he unfortunately perished.

Napalm ManNapalm: Perished? How?

Gimmick: My programming went haywire, and I killed him.

Gyro ManGyro: What!!?

Gimmick: No, just kidding. He died of old age. I have come here because it was the only thing I knew to do. So, I pledge service to you all.

Star ManStar: Well, er...we don't really need anyone at the moment...

Gimmick (looking around): I believe you could make use of me, I have many useful functions.

Napalm ManNapalm: Wow! Is that a TV in your chest?

Gimmick: Yes. However it only shows adverts. That's how my creator paid for me- advertising!

Gravity ManGravity: Perhaps you can stay... We are a little short on money and need all the help we can get.

Star ManStar: Okay then, Gimmick- You can be our housekeeper, it's getting quite expensive to keep hiring Roll.

Gimmick: That sounds wonderful. Thank you so much.

Stone ManStone: Well, we're still in debt, guys. The show was a bit of a disaster.

Gyro ManGyro: Hey, it was your idea!

Crystal ManCrystal: Well, we may not be any richer, moneywise, but we have made a new friend.

Star ManStar: Wow! It's unlike you to say something like that.

Gyro ManGyro: Yeah, are you going soft?

Crystal ManCrystal: No, I was being sarcastic.

Gravity ManGravity: Well, maybe one day we will be able to afford a new TV.

Napalm ManNapalm: We can only live and hope. By the way- Charge Man seems to have disappeared again.

Stone ManStone: So he has. Oh well, He'll be back by next episode, I'm sure.

Star ManStar: Goodnight, fellas.

Crystal ManCrystal: Yeah, Goodnight.

A sad ending! Will the team get out of debt? Will something amusing happen? We can only hope.

THE END (For Now)


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