Mechanical Maniacs -VS- SkyNET

Comment by Gauntlet - This is a long-lost epilogue by Magnetman. I was looking through my e-mails the other day (May 3, 2001) and found this "rough copy" from Titanium91. This fits in during Series 1 shortly after Titanium's other epilogue (Mechanical Maniacs VS the Mega-Metroids, Series 1 #9), which is why the colors are "retro". For greater understanding, you should probably check out our first origin story or else this may seem a tad confusing. I did only one edit (besides spell check) and that's to change the name "James" to "Jacob" who is Snakeman. This is because I haven't the faintest clue who this "James" dude is and James and Jacob sound similar, so it could have been a mistake. The process of elimination also dictate he probably meant Jacob as well although there still is some doubt in my mind as he makes "Snake" have some lines. Oh, well. So without further ado, our feature presentation...

* * * * * * * *

(The story begins in the year 2029, during the days of SkyNET's war to exterminate the humans and rule the planet. Of course the Maniacs were not too happy with this competition to rule the planet. There is also a rumor SkyNET has one of the missing elements to resurrect Gamma.)

Sean: Hey everyone, listen up! I've found out SkyNET has a secret vault where they hold all the money they have stolen from the humans, plus possibly an element of Gamma!

Jacob: OK, let's raid their vault. We can resurrect Gamma ourselves!

Titanium91: We'll be rich!

Hardman: I can ram down the vault!

Sean: Ok...We'll have to get past a lot of Terminators, HKs, and stuff.

Titanium91: I don't care, let's blow 'em away!

(The Maniacs all head to L.A. where the vault is hidden, and the major battles of the war are being fought.)

John Connor: What the hell are those?!

Capt: I dunno, they don't look like anything SkyNET has ever made.

John Connor: Well, we should wait and see what they do, they seem too disorderly to be soldier bots.

Maniacs: HEY!

Gemini: Hey look! It's the vault! It's heavily guarded.

(The Maniacs walk up to a guard.)

Guard: You are not permitted to enter this area. It is only for Class A officials of SkyNET.

Titanium91: Well, how about my Magnet Missile!

(Magnet shoots Magnet Missiles and blows up the guard.)

Guard: I'll be back.

Gemini: (Blasts him with Gemini Laser) Like hell you will.

Gauntlet: I'll hack into the lock system.

(The door opens.)

Snakeman: Hell yeah! Hey, I finally got a line!

(The Maniacs go inside only to see that there is another, more powerful guard.)

Maniacs: Who the hell are you?

Polaris: I am Polaris! A name you shall never forget! The most elite soldier of SkyNET!

Topman: Top Spin!

(Polaris throws Topman across the room.)

Titanium91: Magnet Missile!

(The Magnet Missile reflects back at Titanium.)

Titanium91: Haha, you can't pull that on me!

(T91 uses his magnetic force to change the Missile's direction, and it hits Anton.)

Anton: Hey, you hit me, buttmunch!

Titanium91: Sorry. I haven't gotten the hang of aiming with that trick yet.

Polaris: Your puny weapons are useless against me! Pulse Laser, now!

(Polaris blasts the Maniacs with a powerful laser beam wave that almost kills them.)

Jacob: Holy crap!

(Hardman falls on top of Polaris, unknowingly killing him.)

Jacob: Wow, you saved us and defeated Polaris!

Anton: Now lets blow up everything in here. OK?

Gemini: Yeah, also that Polaris freak stole my move! And stuff.

(The Maniacs break everything until they reach the money.)

Maniacs: Money!!!

Jacob: I found one of the missing elements! We are now closer to resurrecting Gamma and world domination!

(The Maniacs all walk out carrying tons of money.)

Capt.: Where are you guys going?

Maniacs: Back home.

Snake: Yeah, take the rest of the money if you want.

Capt.: Thanks for defeating SkyNET!

Maniacs: Huh??

John Connor: Yes, you defeated their leader Polaris and the mainframe. Without them, SkyNET's army is scrap metal.

Sean: Can I have some of the scrap metal?

John Connor: Sure you can.

(The Maniacs return home to the warehouse.)

Jacob: World Domination is ours soon enough!

Titanium91: We're rich, now we can have a TV!

Gemini: But there's no stations, they were all wiped out in 1997.

Titanium91: They'll return!!!

Everyone Else: OK...

Radio: And thanks to the Mechanical Maniacs the evil forces of SkyNET have been defeated and the human race is finally safe!


Sean as .....

Jacob as .....

Anton as .....

Eric as .....

C.J. as .....

Gizmo as .....

Titanium 91 as .....

Gauntlet as .....



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