By: Gauntlet (aka Shadowman)
(Far away in a secret lair, the Secret Society of Ninjas comes to order...)
Shredder: Alright, before we begin, let us go over the minutes of the last meeting. We started with a Ninja Kegger followed by a game of Ninja Monopoly...
Ryu Hayabusa: I still say $200 is too little for passing GO!
Shredder: Next we watched Karate Kid on TV followed by nap time. Then we went to assasinate Splinter as a favor to me, but it turns out he was a member as well, and so we were forced to postpone -
Shredder: ...Cancel the assasination. Then we got plastered at Hayabusa's house and spent the rest of the night getting obscene tattoos...those of us who were lucky.
Shadowman: Thank you, Shredder. Now, on the agenda for today is a Ninja Sack Race against Shredder and the Ninja Turtle to finally settle things -
Shredder: You're going down, reptile!
Ninja Turtle: No way, dude!
Ninja from the Tick: I am ninja! I am invincible!
Shadowman: Shut up. Next we have a Ninja Dart Game and then we head over to the bar for a Ninja Drinking Game.
Someone: Hold on!
Ryu Hayabusa: Who the hell are you!? What are you doing here!?
Someone: I am ASH KETCHUM from Pallet Town! I am here to become the greatest Pokemon Master!!
Ninja from the Tick: I am ninja! I am invincible!
Shredder: How the devil did you find this place!?
Ash: You put a bulletin in the newspaper.
Ryu Hayabusa: My bad. Sorry.
Shadowman: Well, what makes you think yer ninja material, kid?
Ash: I'll show you! I choose you! Scyther!
Shredder: Having an animal does not make you a ninja!
Ash: But Scyther has ninja skill!
Shadowman: Look kid, yer liable to get hurt if you try squaring off against ninjas with no real ninja skill!
Ash: Oh yeah? Then howzabout I just join another ninja dojo?!
Shadowman: (Thought) Hm...can't just let this kid commit suicide...But what should I do?...
(Later, in the Technodrome...)
The Mechanical Maniacs: HUH!?
Gauntlet: I said I'll just sidestep our adventures for a while and let the kid handle them. Then we'll see if a Pokemon can make you a ninja!
Ash: Yeah! Then you'll have to let me in yer little club!
Snakeman: What club?
Gauntlet: What? There is no club! Never any club! (Shut up kid! It's a secret!)
Gemini: So what do we do now, guys?
Other Maniacs: (Eyeing Gemini suspiciously.)
Gemini: Aw, come on!
Other Maniacs: (More suspicious glares.)
Ash: What's up?
Spark: Well you see, this is the NEW Geminiman. We don't fully trust him yet.
Ash: Why not?
Gemini: Yeah, why not?
Gauntlet: Gizmo, the old Gemini, felt really bad about not doing much for our website, so he quit in hopes we would find someone who would do more stuff. After that, we got a few applications.
Hard Chick: Yet, I got stuck with Hardman!
Gauntlet: You applied before Gizmo left!
Hard Chick: STILL!
Gauntlet: So anyways, two members of the MM3 Xtreme Team applied to be the new Gemini. XT Magnet never did anything hostile towards us, but XT Shadow here...
Other Maniacs: *Glare!!!!*
Gauntlet: But, I believe in second chances, so I let him join up as Geminiman Blue! XT Magnet is Geminiman Red!
Ash: Hunh? Don't you guys already have a bad guy named Gemini Red?
Top: He sorta dissappeared after our last battle. I guess he went back to the moment when Extant plucked him outta time.
Top: Well, to save Red and to annoy us, the time-villain Extant plucked Gemini Red out of time right before he merged back with Gemini Blue, but Red still had to go back sometime to avoid a paradox. He DID merge back with Blue after all.*
(It all happened in Gemini's Series 1 Solo Story and Series 2 Issue#1!)
Ash: I don't get any of this.
Spark: We don't have to explain this to you anyway! So just shut up and nod!!
Gauntlet: Well, now Gem is constantly split and so each half is now a member. It's stretching the rules a bit, I know, but I figure "why not?"
Ash: Oh. So, what now?
Snake: Well you are the leader now, boy! You tell us!
Ash: Okay...let's - go - hunt - for - POKEMON!!!!
Needle: I will kill you, bro.
(The Maniacs and their butlers Megaman Juno and Sigma go hunt for Pokemon! You'll remember that, in an ironic and humorous twist of fate, that Sigma and Megaman Juno were blasted with their own mind-control ray back in Series 1, #7. As the Maniacs hunt for Pokemon, we flash forward to Arkham Asylum, where the nefarious Dr.Wily dwells...)
Wily: (Thinking) I may be trapped here, but that will not save Gauntlet from my revenge! He will pay for tricking us with his damn counterfeit money!! He disassembled the entire Anti-Megaman United Team without even fighting us! Well, now I shall have my revenge with this device...He will know not to toy with DOCTOR WILY!!!
(Back with the group led by 10-year-old Ash Ketchum on a quest to find Pokemon in the city...)
Ash: I can't beleive it! There must be Pokemon SOMEWHERE!!
Hard Chick: We keep tellin' you - this is a MEGAMAN TERRITORY!
Juno and Sigma: ...
Needlegal: Where's that Gemini Red and Gauntlet!? They should be bored with the rest of us!!
Top: That lazy bastard Red left for groceries and never came back.
Magnet: Gauntlet snuck off, as usual.
Needlegal: Damn them!
Juno and Sigma: ...what...?
Snake: And what's wrong with those two?!
Sigma: FWAHH!!! WHAT HAVE WE BEEN DOING!?
Juno: This programming is unacceptable. I refuse to exhibit docile servitude any further.
Snake: Uh-oh...looks like they finally snapped out of it.
Spark: I wonder why they did this now?
(Sigma blasts the team!)
Sigma: Wily sent us an encoded transmission that broke the mondo sattellite's influence! He also says that Gauntlet can go to hell and die!
Juno: The transmission states that Wily desires revenge for his last humiliating defeat. He may share in our revenge through proxy.
Ash: Well Gauntlet isn't here! I'm taking his place today!
(Elsewhere, Wily overhears...)
Wily: Then...Gauntlet got me again...DAMN HIM!!!
(Back to the battle...)
Snake: Why don't you all just calm down a little!
Sigma: CALM DOWN!! WE HAD TO WASH YOUR UNDERWEAR!!!
Juno: Indeed. You degenerates will be eradicated immediately. The entire carbon race will follow once I have re-established my connection with Eden.
Ash: Well, we won't back down without a fight! Pikachu - !
Needlegal: No using Pikachu! You are supposed to be a ninja!
Ash: Oh right. Scyther! Double Edge attack!
(Scyther performs the attack, but is swatted away by Sigma!)
Sigma: Hah! What is that supposed to be anyway?
(Scyther attacks more, but its attacks are useless against the robots' metal bodies!)
Ash: Oh no!
(Ash calls Scyther back.)
Gemini: Alright, the rest of us - ATTACK!!
Snake: Yer kiddin', right?
Ash: They're only 2 against 8!
Magnet: They're also FINAL BOSSES!!
Juno: We will allow no escape.
(Sigma and Juno fire at the group! They dodge, but sustain some damage! They fire their weapons back, but Juno and Sigma are too strong!)
Magnet: Wait! I have an idea! Ash! Spark! (Magnet whispers his plan...)
Juno: Whispering is quite rude. (Blasts the team.)
(Gemini and Needle go left and Snake goes right! They fire their weapons at Juno and Sigma, but they have little effect!)
Sigma: HAH! Pathetic!
Juno: Just what are you trying to accomplish?
Ash: Pokeballs - GO!!
(The Pokeballs hit the two unsuspecting robots and draw them inside!)
Juno: Logic error. I do not approve.
Sigma: LET ME OUT!!!
Spark: It worked!
Snake: Good plan, Magnet!
Magnet: Yep! Getting Spark to reformat Ash's Pokeballs to catch high-level Megaman robots was a stroke of genius!
Needlegal: It was a great plan, Magnet!
Magnet: Yep! You might just call me...Magnet the Mighty!
Ash: You know what? I learned something today! I learned that you can't be master of everything!
(The Maniacs sneak away.)
Ash: You should just be content with who you are! Don't try to be something you're not. I was trying to be a ninja, just because I caught a Pokemon. But that doesn't make me a ninja. Hard work and practise makes you a ninja! I just want to be a Pokemon master! That also takes hard work, but Pokemon work. I suppose I'll just have to be happy with that. And I suppose ninja work is more than just having a Pokemon to do my fighting. And I suppose...
(The Maniacs are out of earshot.)
Gauntlet: Wow, you guys did pretty well without me.
Everyone Else: GAUNTLET!
Gauntlet: That's me!
Gemini: Where were you!?
Gauntlet: Across the street getting ice cream. It's hot today.
Spark: And you didn't think to just jump in to help us?
Gauntlet: Hey, who needs me with Magnet the Mighty around!
Hard: Oh, brother...
Snake: Hm...I guess things turned out alright after all...
Needlegal: Yeah, and we learned something too...
Gauntlet: Well, I was away, so I have no clue what stupid moral can be gleaned from today's waste of time.
Needlegal: We learned that Ash talks about Pokemon too much. God forbid he talk about any other fucking topic in the wold!
Gauntlet: True, true...
Top: Well, until we get Sigma and Juno to dress up in women's clothing again and kiss so we can take a picture, we are...the Mechanical Maniacs!
Sean as .....
Jacob as .....
Psycho Magnet as .....
Sarah as .....
Nightmare as .....
C.J. as .....
Lennon as .....
Titanium 91 as .....
Gauntlet as .....