Series 5 Issue #23 - Here's to Iceman
By Gauntlet (Shadowman)
(Our story starts with Gary, Gauntlet, and Ben taking a walk from the mall. They're just hanging out and are coming back from a small stop at Hardman's bar.)
Shadowman: Okay, I still don't get it.
Fireman: What's not to get? Geez!
Shadowman: Well, first you're all brought back by Kefka, right?
(Iceman and Ben nod.)
Shadowman: But then, there's four missing "pieces" of Gary here which the S6 bring together .... to make you. And now you're the most powerful member of the team.
(Iceman and Ben nod.)
Shadowman: But now you're telling me you were made by everyone because they missed you. And that the "old" Iceman is dead. And that you're the new Iceman.
(Iceman and Ben nod.)
Shadowman: Made from their memories. And that you're "close enough."
(Iceman and Ben nod.)
...
Shadowman: Don't either of you find that convoluted?
Fireman: What!?
Iceman: How do you mean?
Shadowman: Well, isn't it enough that you came back from the dead after sacrificing yourself in an all-out battle against Red? I mean ... "old Iceman" "new Iceman" .... new powerfully powerful powers. You don't need any of that. You're good the way you are.
Iceman: But I'm new! I'm darker now!
Shadowman: BAH! Darker. I have seen no evidence of you being darker, Iceman.
Iceman: I brood now! I was brooding before meeting you! I brooded all the time while walking here!
Shadowman: I saw no brooding. You don't need to brood to be cool anyway.
Fireman: Hm. Well, I guess I can't think of a time I saw you as being darker either, Gary.
Iceman: So, you think I should just drop the "New Iceman" thing?
Shadowman: Please do.
Fireman: *humph*
Shadowman: It's not that it's bad, it just didn't pan out.
Some guy from afar: Stop him! Stop that man!
(The trio turn to see a running figure.)
Gary: Outta my way losers!
(Gary pushes the three out of the way as he dashes past. The three are so surprised that they don't have time to react.)
Fireman: Hey, Gary .... wasn't that you??
Iceman: The Hell it was! After that guy!
(The three run after the Gary-clone, but are unable to catch up due to many tricky and sneaky maneuvers.)
Shadowman: Damnit! What do we do now?
Fireman: We kick some ass, that's what!
Shadowman: Well, that's easy to say, but -
(Both Shadow and Fire are hit over the head with pies)
Shadow, Fire: ....
Iceman: Hey, it wasn't me.
Old Ice: But it was me!
Iceman: Wahh! Another Iceman!?
Old Ice: Yep!
Iceman: ALRIGHT! Now I can prank the world!
Old Ice: Not if I prank you first!
(Ice has a whole truckload of snow fall on him from high above.)
SFX: SPLAT!
Old Ice: Mwa hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah!
(Iceman is hit with a blast of Atomic Fire.)
Fireman: Hah! I got you, you faker!
Old Ice: But Ben .... I thought we were friends ....
Fireman: .... Gary ...?
(Fireman moves closer to Old Ice as he moans in pain.)
Old Ice: PSYCH!
(Old Ice hits Ben with his Ice Slasher, leaving Ben frozen in Ice.)
Fireman: GAH! You 
!
Old Ice: HAH! Take that! Nobody can out prank the original Iceman!
(Old is is then hit with a snowball.)
Old Ice: What!?
(Old Ice finds Shadowman, clinging to the wall of a nearby building.)
Shadowman: I can't say I consider myself a prankster, but I'm definitely more than a match for you "Iceman".
Old Ice: Oh, yeah!?
Off Screen: Well .... even if he isn't ...
(Old Ice is hit with a uppercut from Iceman!)
Iceman: I sure as am!
(Old Ice is then hit with a blast of Atomic Fire!)
Heatman: Hah! Take that you fake!
Old Ice: Oh so this is how it is, eh!? Well ... I got one thing to say to that!
(Old Ice scrambles away as fast as he can.)
All: !!!
Heatman: After him! Eat his flesh!
(the three chase after Old Ice)
Shadowman: That's a bit much, don't you think, Ben?
Heatman: I'm not the "Ben" that was just here! I'm a different Ben!
Shadowman: What?
Heatman: Me and Fireman are totally different people.
(The three round a corner and look around for Old Ice.)
Shadowman: Whaaaaaaat?
Heatman: What what?
Iceman: Oy, you got him going again, Ben.,
Shadowman: Two of you? What the Hell's the difference between you and Fireman that justifies there being two of you?
Heatman: I'm an insane psychotic while Fire is an insane delusional.
Shadowman: But you're both insane!
Heatman: Yeah, but they're completely different insanities!
(Both are hit with a mallet!)
Shadowman: GAH!!
Heatman: It's Old Ice! Where is he! ROOOAAARRR!!
Iceman: Heh. Oh, no, that was me.
Shadowman: Of course ....
(All three are then hit by spinning mushrooms!)
Split Mushroom: If you wanna fight as a gang ...
Split Mushroom: I can oblige!
Split Mushroom: As your friendly neighborhood Split Mushroom!
Heatman: It's Split Mushroom!
Shadowman: I thought your memories as Magma Dragoon "died along with the X-Force."
Heatman: Keep pushing it, smart-ass.
Iceman: Well, since they did, I guess you wouldn't mind the fact that I put that video of those alternate X-Forcers doing "I'm a little teapot" on the internet, would you Ben?
Heatman: Gary! How could you!?
Split Mushroom: Hey! Gang of villains here!
Split Mushroom: You'd think we'd get more attention paid to us after all this.
(The Mushrooms attack the trio with their mushroomy might.)
Iceman: I'll handle this one guys .... SUPER DUPER ICEMAN ATTACK!!!
(Iceman blows a mighty fart and the mushrooms all recoil in horror!
Split Mushroom: ACK!!
Split Mushroom: A biological weapon!
Heatman: That's not the end of it!
(Heatman sends sparks flying towards the Mushrooms while they're still mired in thick methane gas!
Split Mushroom: Nooooooo!
(They explode and are sent flying in all directions.)
Heatman: Boo-yeah!
Iceman: Our super-secret combo attack worked!
Shadowman: Ugh. (Shadowman pinches his nose shut) you gotta get a new one.
Heatman: You're just jealous you don't have an effective attack like that one.
Shadowman: So, Ice ... what exactly do you know about this?
Iceman: Hunh?
Shadowman: So far all these guys have been disguising themselves as you!
Iceman: So I've noticed.
Shadowman: Did you piss anyone off recently?
Iceman: Uh .... no more than usual.
(Suddenly Heatman is slashed to ribbons.)
Heatman: Geeeahhhhhh!!!
Shadowman: Ben!
Iceman: Awww, which one of me is it now??
Pluto: It's ME!
....
Shadowman: Pluto?
Iceman: Why's Pluto here?
Pluto: What!? Don't you remember?
Iceman: No.
Pluto: "Children of the Void"?
Iceman: Children of the what?
Pluto: AGH! You jerk! (Pluto coughs up a hairball at Iceman.)
Iceman: EAH! GROSS!
Pluto: Catch me if you can!
(Pluto races on ahead.)
Heatman: Go on! I'll be okay.
Iceman: Right!
Shadowman: After that nobody!
(Iceman and Shadowman race after Pluto, who's far ahead of them.)
Pluto: (while clinging to the side of a far-off building, smacking his butt at the two heroes) Nyah-Nyah! Can't catch me, slowpokes!
Iceman: Dangit! He's right ... we're too slow.
Shadowman: I'm not though. I'll jump ahead and deal with this guy.
(Shadowman does some fancy [yet completely unnecessary] hand signs)
Shadowman: Shadow-clone no jitsu!
(A puff of smoke later and there's 20 Shadowmen all attacking Pluto!)
Pluto: YIKS! Stay away!
(Pluto strikes at the nearest Shadowmen, but they all fade away after being hit.)
From above: 'twas only a hologram!
(The real Shadowman jump kicks Pluto and Pluto loses his grip from the side of the building and falls to the ground with a thud.)
SFX: THUDD
Shadowman: It's not over yet!Shadowman barrage!
(Each Shadow Clone delivers a jump kick to the fallen Pluto.)
SFX: BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM!
Iceman: Ouchies. Looks painful.
SFX: BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM!
Shadowman: Yep. He isn't coming back from that.
SFX: BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM!
(Finally, the Shadow barrage is over and Fireman runs back, quite winded, from wherever he was.)
Fireman: *huff puff* What'd I miss?
Iceman: The "Shadow Clone barrage."
Fireman: Ahh. Sounds cool.
Shadowman: Hh. Well, let's see .... so far we've faced "Old Ice", Split Mushroom, and Pluto.
Fireman: Don't forget "Gary". We chased him first, remember.
Iceman: Right! GAH! I feel so violated! Someone out there knows all about me!
Fireman: Hh. That's true. It is creepy.
Shadowman: I'm always telling you to be more secretive, Ice.
Iceman: It's just not my style, G.
Shadowman: Yeah, I guess not. So, who do you think they'll imitate next?
(Shadowman is then frozen in a block of ice.)
Fireman: Shadow!
Iceman.exe: That'd be me.
Iceman: It's my EXE form!
Iceman.exe: Ahh, I see I'm more remembered than poor Pluto.
Iceman: Was I really Pluto?
Iceman.exe: YES!
Fireman: For, like, a week.
Iceman.exe: No comments from the peanut gallery!
(Fireman is frozen solid in a block of ice.)
Iceman.exe: It's just you and me this time, faker!
Iceman: Who're you calling a faker!
Iceman.exe: I'm calling you a faker, faker!
Iceman: I know you are, but what am I?
Iceman.exe: A faker.
Iceman: I know you are, but what am I?
Iceman.exe: A faker.
Iceman: I know you are, but what am I?
Iceman.exe: A faker.
Iceman: I know you are, but what am I?
Iceman.exe: A faker.
Iceman: I know you are, but what am I?
Iceman.exe: A faker.
Iceman: I know you are, but what am I?
Iceman.exe: A faker.
Iceman: I'm rubber and you're glue; whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you.
Iceman.exe: !!!
Iceman: (blows Iceman.exe a raspberry.) *Ptthhhhhhhhhhh*
Iceman.exe: Why you ....
(Iceman dodges an Icebomb from Ice.exe.)
Iceman: What's the matter? Can't take a joke?
Iceman.exe: grrr.
Iceman: How about this?
(Iceman whips out a giant mallet and hits Ice.exe on the head.)
SFX: SLAMM!
Iceman.exe: Ouchies!
Iceman: And stop copying me already!
(Iceman hits Iceman.exe out of the area with his giant mallet!)
Iceman.exe: Looks like I'm blasting off againnnnnnnnnnn *
Shadowman: Good job, Ice.
Iceman: What? Didn't he freeze you?
Shadowman: 'twas a hologram.
Iceman: Shoulda guessed. So, why didn't you help out?
Shadowman: What? And steal your spotlight?
Iceman: It is what you do best, G.
Shadowman: You wound me, Ice. So, how long do you think it'll take Ben to get free?
Iceman: I dunno. His weakness is to ice, so .... a long time, I think.
Shadowman: Hh. How useless.
Closeby: ROOOAAAARRR!!!
Iceman: Aw no .... not him too!
(The two run to the source of the sound and see a towering monster Iceman knows well as....)
Iceman: It's the Eye-lephant!
Shadowman: Damn you and you're identities, Iceman!
Heatman: No kidding! This guy's the worst yet!
Shadowman: When did you show up!?
Heatman: Never mind that!
(*The trio scatter as Eye-lephant throws madballs at the trio)
Eye-lephant: Madballs will rule the Earth! I will single-handedly bring about the Madball revolution!
Heatman: The HORROR!
Shadowman: So annoying! (Shadowman chucks a Shadowblade at Eye-lephant .... but Eye-lephant catches it!)
Eye-lephant: Hah! Bet you never expected that!
(The Shadowblade explodes into gun and covers Eye-lephant in a sticky mess!)
Eye-lephant: EW! Get it off!
Iceman: Well, you know what they say about getting rid of chewing gum .... ya gotta freeze it out!
(Iceman calls clouds into the sky and uses them to call upon a small blizzard to bury Eye-lephant in the snow!)
Iceman: That ought to do it.
(Eye-lephant is covered in a block of ice.)
Shadowman: Nice.
Heatman: Makes me hungry for a frozen elephant-meat dinner.
Shadowman: Me too, actually ....
Iceman: Hey! Eye-lephant was me once you know.
Heatman: Hm. ....
Iceman: Why are you looking at me like that, Ben?
Heatman: Oh, no reason.
Shadowman: Hey, I think Eye-lephant came from down here. Come on.
(Ben and Gary follow Gauntlet into the underground. It's a passage people mainly use in the cold winter months and is filled with malls. It's usually active, but with all the chaos that went on above, the people have deserted the place.)
Iceman: So who do you think is doing this?
Shadowman: Hard to say. Doc Robot has the ability to mimic people, though. It could be him.
Heatman: It isn't Wily. I would've heard about it.
Iceman: What about that "General Cutman" guy?
Shadowman: Well .... someone like him would be into "evil doubles". Being an evil double of Cutman and all.
Iceman: Hey,. what about the "N-Topman"
Shadowman: Damn it! General Cutman, N-Top, Bizarro, Myron ... how many evil doubles do we have to keep up with!
???: (while coming out from inside a dark, empty store) Isn't someone missing from that list, Gauntlet?
Shadowman: It .... it can't be!
Iceman: It's - !
Heatman: Iceman Red!
Red: Didja miss me?
Iceman: (While shooting several Ice Slashers at once) How'd you come back, Red?! You shoulda been toast!
Red: (uses a flame shield to block the ice-based attacks) You shoulda been toast too! I guess we both got lucky, blue!
Iceman: (creates a chainsaw made of pure ice and swings it towards his doppelganger) I won't let you ruin the world again, Red!
Red: (uses a powerful shockwave to throw Iceman towards the far end of the mall) You don't have a choice here, Blue!
Shadowman: Ben! Let's fight fire with fire!
Heatman: I know where you're goin' with this, Gaunt!
(Shadowman tosses a Pokeball onto the ground to summon his giant mechanical frog!)
Shadowman: Let's do it, Heat!
(Shadowman's frog spews a fireball at Heatman! Heatman absorbs it and turns into a giant ball of flame!)
Heatman: Hey, Red! I can become as hot as two suns! How do you like that heat!?
(Heatman collides into a stunned red and into a vacant candy store.)
Iceman: The precious candy!
(Red gets up from the rubble and throws Heatman at Shadowman. Shadow jumps off his frog and avoids Heatman.)
Red: I like it just fine, losers!
Heatman: He .... he absorbed our fire attack!
Red: Yeah and you can have it back!
(Red throws a gigantic fireball at Ice and Shadow and both are hit by the intense attack!)
Iceman, Shadowman: AHH!!
Red: Mwa hah hah hah hah! Later, losers!
(Red flies deeper into the underground.)
Shadowman: Damn! We have to follow him.
Iceman: Yep. Oh and by the way....
Shadowman: yeah?
(Shadowman is hit with a pie in the face.)
Iceman: GOTCHA! Yer not a hologram this time are ya?
(Shadowman chucks a Shadowblade at Iceman!)
Shadowman: This isn't the time for gags, annoying prankster!
(From out of nowhere Cut Chan dropkicks Shadowman!)
Cut Chan: Leave my Icey-kins alone!
Shadowman: ACK!
(Cut Chan gently removes the Shadowblade from Iceman's forehead.)
Cut Chan: You okay, Ice?
Iceman: Yep. Thanks, Britt.
Shadowman: Why .... me...?
Cut Chan: 'cuz yer a bully!
Shadowman: *groan*
Iceman: Come on, gang! Let's follow Red.
Cut Chan: What about Ben?
(Ben is seen unconscious.)
Iceman: Um .... I'm sure he'll be okay. But we can't wait for him.
(The three follow Red only to find ....)
Iceman: It's all of me!
Cut Chan: *squeals girlishly*
Gary: That's right, "Iceman"! We're all here to teach you a lesson!
Pluto: And one you won't soon forget!
Fireman: Then it's a good thing his friends are here!
Shadowman: Fireman!? Weren't you passed out just a moment ago!?
Fireman: I don't know what you're talking about. That was Heatman. I'm Fireman.
Shadowman: You're both Ben!
Fireman: We're two different people.
Shadowman: No. You're not. You're both clearly Ben. And also clearly insane!
Fireman: Uhh .... hey is that the muffin man? THE MUFFIN MAN!?
Shadowman: Okay, now you're just trying to change the subject.
Red: Hey, focus on the big villain gang here!
Iceman: Aww, guys .... can't we all be fiends?
Eye-lephant: Only if you acknowledge the superiority of Madballs everywhere!
Iceman: Erm ... you know I always did like Madballs.
Eye-lephant: LIAR!
Iceman: I was Eye-lephant! Of course I like Madballs!
Iceman.exe: This is getting us nowhere. I say we turn this into a prank-a-thon!
Old Ice: Good thinking, EXE!
Gary: yeah! That'll settle thing!
Split Mushroom: Let's do it!
Shadowman: I think not!
Split Mushroom: Who gave you a say!?
Shadowman: I've been getting funny readings here .... and I think I can shed some light on the subject.
Iceman: How exciting! A new gadget!
Shadowman: I use holograms all the time ... you can't fool me with your stupid attacks! Let's see who you all really are!
(Shadowman uses his anti-hologram device to dispel the disguises of the fake Icemen to find ....)
Mysterio: Damn it! My illusion's ruined!
Iceman: Marvel's Sinister Six!?
Doctor Octopus: Yes. You've been using our name for years so I thought it's be nice to return the favor!
Bobby: And I though it'd be nice to outprank a prankster!
Vulture: Hah! It was some good fun too!
Fireman: Too bad it's over!
Sandman: I'd say it's just beginning.
Iceman: Oh yeah!?
Kraven: We've herded you here to do just one thing ....
(The lights go in in several malls and explosions erupt throughout the underground!)
Marvel's Sinister Six, Bobby: Happy birthday, Gary!
Iceman: What!?
Gutsman: Everyone wanted to do something special fer your birthday, Ice!
Cut Chan: You can blame Shadowman for all this sneaky stuff.
Iceman: Shadow!?
Shadowman: What can I say? I wanted to outprank you for once. Although I never knew that you were on such good terms with Marvel's Sinister Six before organising all this.
Iceman: It was one of my very first adventures. I'm surprised I haven't told you about it.
(With the party underway, all of the guests come out of hiding and start playing music.)
Topman: So, which elecman are you again?
Elecman: I'm Leon. I think I'm Elecman #4.
Andon: I was Elecman #2.
Geminiman: So, what's your deal?
Elecman: I'm an amazing bounty hunter! And I just happen to look like Elecman!
...
Geminiman: Ahhh, a rookie! I used to be like that too!
Elecman: What?
Andon: Oi. Good observation, Gemini.
Elecman: Why?
Topman: *sigh* some people will never learn.
Spark Chan: Ahh, so you're the one Icey ended up with, eh?
Cut Chan: Yep! I'm so lucky!
Iceman: (in the distance) I can play the Megaman theme song with farts!
...
Cut Chan: *sigh*
Blooper: (Bounces around happily as he's chased by the Muffin Man)
Muffin Man: Ben? Ohhh, Benji? Where are you?
Fireman: (hiding underneath the bar) Don't let him see me.
IRA: That ain't good, man.
Hardman: Look, I can't have you down there. You're gonna blow somethin' up.
Fireman: But ... the muffin man!
(Hardman boots Fireman from behind the bar.)
Hardman: And stay out!
Jason: Mwa hah hah hah hah! Is that Magma Dragoon!? Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Fireman: Shut up!
Clownman: Come on, Ice! Let's do a competition of the pranksters!
Iceman: Right!
Ken: Hey, man .... before you do that, we need to bum some moolah off ya, Ice.
Iceman: What!?
Jacob: Come on!
Snakeman: Okay, you two .... time to go bug someone else.
Ken: No way!
Jacob: Hey ... you're Snakeman too!
Snakeman: Yeah, no kiddin', Sherlock.
Jacob: Let's be friends!
Snakeman: Uhhh
Ken: Got any cash on ya, bud?
Flashman: Seriously, I don't think so.
Sandman: But with your ability to stop time we could be rich beyond our wildest dreams!
Doctor Octopus: Yeah. Besides, we've been looking to replace Kraven for a long time now.
Kraven: Hey!
Doctor Octopus: Well, it's true. I mean ... what exactly do you contribute to the team?
Flashman: Um, I really don't wanna....
Bobby: So, whadya say, sweetheart?
Needlegal: uhhh .... I really don't think so....
Bobby: Come on ... don't tell me you have a crush on that other Iceman.
Needlegal: *sigh* (I always get the freaks hitting on me).
Gutsman: Some heroes we turned out to be.
(The room falls silent.)
....
Chibi Keba: Um ... what are you talking about, Erik?
Gutsman: What? That's what we always say, isn't it?
Tim: *sigh* if you can't do it right, don't do it at all.
Gutsman: But it's fine, isn't it? Isn't it!?
Iceman: Don't worry, Erik! You'll get it right! I'm sure of it!
Gutsman: Thanks, Gary! You always know how to brighten me up.
Cut Chan: Well, that's Gary for ya.
Andon: Oi.
Elecman: Here here!
IRA: Totally!
Bombman: He's the only guy here I don't wanna blow up!
Scott: You scare me.
Bombman: Good! I'm gonna stare at the crowd angrily now.
(Iceman throws a snowball at Bomb)
Iceman: Aw, lighten up! It's a party!
Fireman: Ahhhh! It's the muffin man! The muffin man!!
Blooper: (hysterically tries to avoid Ben's rampant use of the Firestorm as he mistakes him for the Muffin Man.)
(Meanwhile... just outside the underground...)
Electro: Seriously, you're pissing us off. We're missing everything!
Torchman: But we're the Sinister Six too! You gotta let us in!
Blademan: We're really good friends of Ice! Honest!
Mysterio: If you losers don't shut up ...
Vulture: You don't have any right *at all* to call yourselves the Sinister Six!
Sharkman: Dude! We are the Sinister Six!
Electro: Okay, I've had enough! It's time you got lost!
(Vulture knocks the PC team high into the air with a powerful blast of electricity!)
Bitman: UGH! Why us?
Oilman: You should've been able to absorb that!
Bitman: Oh, shut up!
Waveman: I knew this wouldn't work.
Torchman: it looks like we're blasting off agaiiii -
(Slams into Team Rocket, who was also in midair, and both teams come crashing to the ground.
(And ... inside....)
Snakeman: Well, I guess things turned out all right...
Magnetman: I guess... Even if we barely did anything this time
Needlegal: And we learned something today too...
Geminiman: We can learn something from this!?
Needlegal: We learned that Iceman had allot of identities, some of which were pretty weird. And we learned at just how many people Iceman's touched all this time. I mean ... this place is packed! I don't even recognize everyone here!
Shadowman: He's certainly the nicest guy I know in the community.
Iceman: Hey, guys!
Spark Chan: Hey, Ice!
Iceman: I just wanna say thanks. Everyone here meant so much to me.
Shadowman: You still gotta tell us how you met Marvel's Sinister Six.
Iceman: How about Wednesday? I'll try to write it all down so I can remember.
Shadowman: You're on!
Geminiman: Sounds good to me!
Cut Chan: (brings a birthday cake into the area) Blow out the candles on your cake, Ice! Hurry or they'll melt!
Gutsman: Yeah, do it already! I'm hungry!
Iceman: Okay, guys!
Cut Chan: Remember to make a wish, Iceykins!
Topman: Well, until Mysterio leads the Megaman Sinister Six team, we are ..... The Mechanical Maniacs!
The End
This epilogue was made in memory of Gary "Iceman" Martin 9/17/1979- 9/27/2006. His memory will live on his his family and friends.
Back to the Iceman Tribute Section.
Cast: |
|||||
| Classi Cal as ..... |  Spark Chan |
Raijin as ..... |  Snakeman |
Psycho Magnet as ..... |  Needlegal |
| Hadrian Howell as ..... |  Hardman |
Nightmare as ..... |  Topman |
||
| Lennon as ..... |  Geminiman |
Jonathan S. as ..... |  Magnetman |
Gauntlet as ..... | Shadowman |
