The Business of War

Cossacks Comrades vs RPD, Evil 8 and SA!

Scenario C
Tengu & Clown (RPD)
Evil Eight (W)
C. Comrades (C)

Location: Pyongyang, N. Korea
SA Troops: 1387
RPD Troops: 815
Wily Troops: 781

Day 1

Pyongyang was the home of The Arch of Triumph, the largest Arch in the world. Well, it was. The General sent his troops to The Arch, for it was a symbol of hope. Now it remained a symbol of Triumph, but Triumph of evil. The city was evacuated and all that remained was the SA troops that lingered, 1,387 to be exact.

The Doctor asked us to go to the desolate town to search for supplies. Unfortunately the only money that comes in is drug money, which in war time isn’t a lot. AM stares at the wasteland and sighs. All the blood that was spilt, all the innocents…He knew somewhere the General was smiling. It sickened him. He had vowed revenge against the General. He wanted to be the one who crushed his CPU.

Jet noticed AM’s attitude and decided to comfort him. “Are you okay AM? I know it’s a horrible sight, but you seem to be somewhere else right now.”

Her eyes met his. “I’m just thinking about Vi. It’s been so long…” he drifted away.

“AM, I know it hurts. It will hurt you for the rest of your days. But as a leader you must be strong. War is war. Innocents are always the first to go. Be it the Jewish in World War Two or those victims in 9-11. You will have your revenge on this General. I swear it,” Zymeth said unexpectedly. AM knew the pain Zymeth had experienced in life. Yet…

“It matters not. We are here on a mission. We need supplies. I suggest we get started,” the Lord said. We all agreed.

The Comrades have been united with the War. Well…except Rebel. No one knows where he went. It disturbed everyone, especially AM. He and Rebel were founders of the team. They were practically brothers. All they knew is that when the war is over there would be plenty of changes. It only just started and already innocence was lost.

The bodies were everywhere. Some were whole…but most were torn apart. Zymeth went to the first body he found and searched it for valuables. Geoff looked disgusted.

“What the hell are you doing?! That’s grave robbing! That’s not right!”

“No. I’m not grave robbing. I’m doing a service. The second these bodies are buried, their valuables go with them. Then, if I decided to get their non needed Worldly possessions I will be grave robbing,” he replied to the robotic submarine.

Jade nodded. “As horrible and wrong as that may be, he has a point. It’s a world where the dog eats the dogs. We have no choice. AM, do you agree?”

AM paused. He contemplated the choices he had and finally nodded. So the Comrades started looting the corpses. At least most did. Jet did not want to participate in it. She decided to search the town for any energy. She was accompanied by Geoff.

“Here’s a tasty ring. Wouldn’t want to waste it that would really be a crime. Thank you sir, I’m in your debt,” Zymeth mused to a corpse. And he laughed.

“…Zy, would you stop that! There is a limit to what I can take!” Zapper pleaded with Zymeth. Looking defeated, he sighed.

“…fine. I suppose you don’t appreciate the humor,” the walking skeleton mused. And he went to the next corpse.

Jade smirked under his mask. “I guess we know Zymeth’s weakness: Zapper.”

Sean, who had stayed silent for most of the trip, suddenly called the group over to him. “Look at this. It’s the remains to a Sniper Joe! We can use these for spare parts. I can tinker with it once we get back. In fact I have found numerous robotic parts. All of them bearing the Mark of Cutman. Perhaps I can see how Cutman upgraded them…” he went on. Sean had become the team mechanic, and right now he probably had the most important job of all.


Soon night fell and Jet and Geoff returned with nothing. Overall nothing was to be collected. If anything they had only a few pieces of jewelry and a few dollar bills, which together would barely make $200. The team made camp on the remains of the Arch.

AM took another look at the sky. They were lucky not to be attacked by and Sniper Joes, for there were plenty around. He thought of Cutman, how he wished to kill him. He thought of Rebel, how he wished his safety. He thought of Vi, how he missed her so. He thought of Gary, who he missed the most.

And Zymeth, also staring, thought of his love. His previous life.

At the end of the day, they all just sighed.


Day 2

It’s another day, and hopefully another few dollars for the Comrades. Locating another sector of the city ravaged by the Scissor Army, the seven of them continue their search for money, tools, and any other materials that they or Dr. Cossack could use. As much as they didn’t like the idea of looting the abandoned buildings and the bodies of the fallen, they knew it was a necessary evil, since they weren’t going to get money in any conventional manner; the Russian government had seen to that. Jay and Silent Bob have been able to raise some funds with their drug money, but selling weed on the street corner only gets you so much.

Jet’s probably liking this the least. Not wishing to loot bodies, she’s gone elsewhere, combing the local junkyards and landfills, away from all of the death and destruction. Dust has gone with her, partly to keep her company, partly in case of an enemy attack, and partly because Zymeth’s habit of playing with the bodies was starting to gross him out as well. Plus, the local junkyard is more in his element.

“How much longer is this war supposed to last, anyway?” Brightbabe mused.

“Who knows? With any luck it’ll be over without us being dragged into it at all.” Dustman knew that wouldn’t be the case, but he wanted to help ease Jet’s fears at least somewhat. After all, Cutman wasn’t going down that easily – he never does. Besides, the Comrades had a score to settle with him as well. After Cutman’s cowardly slaughter of the Parrs, the Comrades, especially Drill, were determined to see him pay dearly for what he’s done.

But right now, Cutman and the Scissor Army are the least of their worries as a pair of arms extends from out of nowhere, grabbing Dust and Bright by the neck and delivering a very painful electric shock.

“In the name of the Robot Police Department, you Cossack bots are under arrest!”

The two Comrades strain to look in the direction of their attacker. Standing about ten yards away is Clownman, the robotic jester with the extending electrical arms, now teamed up with the RPD. Flanking his side are a pair of RPD Joes, guns drawn.

“Weren’t expecting to see the cavalry so soon, huh?” Clown sneers. “Just make it easy on yourselves, traitors. Surrender now and you won’t get hurt… too badly.”

Dust scowls. As everyone knows, those aligned with Cossack have chosen to go against the now-mandated Shutdown Code law, have now been declared international criminals. It’s likely that if they are captured alive, they will be forcibly implanted with a Shutdown chip. Now, it’s either death, or a life of slavery.

And to the Comrades, at least, that choice was an easy one…


“Bright and Dust have been gone a long time, haven’t they?” Pharaoh wonders aloud. So far, he’s managed to find a few wallets and several rings and other precious stones. As his name implies, Jade has always had an affinity for gems, crystals, and the like.

“Hm. Maybe we should go look for them?” Zymeth comments while dragging a pair of corpses behind him.

“What are you doing with those Skull?!” Drill inquires, a rather disturbed tone in his voice. While he doesn’t really have anything against Zymeth, his morbid antics never fail to keep him on edge.

“What? I thought we could sell these guys to science. We make money and they get to be of service to their fellow man. Everybody wins!”

“Right, my fault for asking.” Drill just buries his head in his hands.

“Nonetheless, we should look for Sean and Jet.” Zapper chimes in. “It’s probably not a good idea for us to be separated for too long.”

“How right you are, Communist scum!!”

Before everyone could react to the sound of the new voice, a three-pronged blade splits the air as it plunges into the ground at Skull’s feet. Everyone turns in the direction of the projectile’s path in time to see a menacing figure swoop down from the sky, hovering in the air in front of the Comrades.

“Tenguman…” Drill speaks up. “What are you doing here? You’re working for the RPD, are you?

“Right again!” The long-nosed goblin responds, scouring the grim scene. “This your handiwork, you criminal sons-of-bitches?”

“You know damn well this is the Scissor Army’s work!” Jade spews. “Why don’t you do your frikkin’ job and go hunt down the ones who did this?”

Tenguman shrugs “Because you’re on the RPD’s hit list too. Anyone who opposes the Shutdown Code is an enemy of the state, and as such, you are to be processed, and be either fitted with a Shutdown chip or be terminated.”

“Sorry, Big-Nose” Diveman speaks up. “But you’re not doing either today.”

“That’s not one of your options!” Tengu snaps his fingers and a small detachment of ten Joe units step out from behind the rubble. “You’re history!”


“Any last words?” Clownman asks as Dust and Bright struggle painfully against his electric grip.

“Just a couple…” Jet responds, “Say cheese!”

“Huh… Gahhhhhhhh!!!” Before he can say anything, Bight’s Flash Stopper bursts to life as Clown’s and the Joes’ eyes are filled with hundreds of thousands of watts. The jester instinctively lets go of the two Comrades as he throws his hands in front of his face to shield him from the intense light. No sooner does he do so than he feels the impact of a Dust Crusher slamming into his abdomen. He now doubles over, clutching his stomach in pain.

“Now, what were you saying about surrender?” Dust readies himself as the Joes recover their sight. The two of them, however, prove no match for Sean and Jet’s combined efforts.

“Damn…” Clownman stammers as he gets to his feet. Realizing he’s lost his advantage of surprise, he decides to cut his losses and run. Wrapping his arms around himself into a ball, he charges himself up into his Thunder Carnival, a large spinning electric ball, which enables him to make his escape.

“Should we go after him?” Brightbabe asks.

“I think so. He could report us if we let him return to his base camp.” Dust replies. And with that, they give chase.


Meanwhile, Tenguman and his squadron have engaged the other Comrades. Three Joes try blasting at Zymeth in vain, unable to overcome his Skull Barrier.

“You bore me.” Skullman quips as his scythe materializes in his hands. In one quick swing, two Joes have been decapitated. “See you in hell.” Skull says to the remaining Joe as he raises his buster and engulfs it in burning dark energy.

“Yeehah!!” Geoff cries as his fist slams right through one Joe’s visor. Hardman he isn’t, but Dive is still a beast of a robot master with incredible physical strength. “Oh, you want to play too?” He says to the two remaining Joes approaching him. Two Dive Missiles later, and they’re scrap as well.

Four Joes surround Jade. “Four against one? That’s not very fair…” Pharaohman starts glowing red, alight with scorching flames “…for you.” The area around the Egyptian monarch erupts in fire as the power of his Pharaoh Wave incinerates the quartet of Snipers.

Drillman fires a pair of Drill Bombs at Tenguman, who nimbly dodges them, and advantage of being the swift aerial fighter that he is. He returns with another Tengu Blade, which Drill and Toad jump out of the way of.

“Hey, dodge this!” Zapper fires a capsule into the sky, causing a Rain Flush cloud to appear over Tenguman. Although Toad has refined the ability to control where the could will appear, Drill knows enough to jump out of the way of the torrent of acid rain that beats down on Tengu.

“Agh…!! Blasted little…” Tengu calls on his Tornado Hold to blow the cloud away, but the acid seems to have done at least some damage. He fires a second Tornado at Zapper trapping her in the spinning vortex. “Now I have you…!” He’s about to fire a Tengu Blade at her, but…

“Forget something?” Drillman shoots a Drill Bomb at Tengu. Luckily for him, Tenguman reacted just in time to block the missile with his blade arm. The Bomb explodes, but the strong alloy of the blade seems to have deflected most of the damage, although some cracks are visible.

“Hey!! Someone stop him!”

Dustman’s voice suddenly gets the Comrades’ attention as Clownman is rolling toward them, chased by Dust and Bright.

Tenguman frowns under his mask. “Argh… What the hell is that fool doing?”

“So, someone wants to play ball, huh? I have just the thing…” Jade charges up a large Pharaoh Shot, which he throws at the balled-up Clownman bouncing him into the air and landing at Tengu’s feet.

“Tenguman! Let’s get out of here!” Clownman pleads.

Tenguman sighs, “Fine. See you later Cossack scum! Don’t think you’ve won yet.” With that, Tengu flies off into the air, with Clownman swinging from him on his long arms.

“After them!” Dust shouts. “Before they report us back at their base!”

“Skull, you go ahead with Dust and catch those two.” Drill answers. “The rest of us should stay here in case of another attack. Try to be back by nightfall.”

“With pleasure.” Skull smiles.

“Aright. We’ll see you later.” Dust says as he and Skull pursue the fleeing robot masters.


Skull and Dust both ran after the RPD Robot Masters, struggling to keep up with Tengu’s flight path. Thankfully Clown was slowing him down, but only just enough for Skull and Dust to keep up. Suddenly Dust noticed Tengu land, as though to investigate something. The two took cover behind a few of the broken buildings littering the area. Dust peeked around the corner, only to see a small brawl occurring. Tengu and Clown had been fired upon by Wily troops that inhabited the area. The two Robot Master started making scrap from their bodies.

“Damn! Skull, Wily’s still active here too.” Sean said, obviously unhappy.

“No no, they might provide us some distraction…” Skull darted around the other side of the building to watch the same battle Sean spotted. He looked around for something to give him an advantage. He was looking for one man in particular.

Zymeth had done his homework. He had read up on one of Wily’s operatives called Omniman, and his friend Golemman. According to the very limited data that he acquired from his very brief visit with the Scissor Army, Omni and Golem were still functional in this area, and had very exploitable traits. This visit only held minimal results, however. All Zymeth got from this visit was limited information on all the active operatives of the various sides of the war. In return he promised General Cutman limited assassination services if the General called on him, so be it they were not directly involved in Zymeth’s affairs, such as Cossack’s Comrades, as not to give away Zymeth’s possition. Thankfully Cutman had access to much better assassins, such as Wraithman, so his services, if any, will be small. Consequently, so was the data he was armed with.

However, he couldn’t find them anywhere. Zymeth cursed under his breath. Suddenly his eyes lit up. Omniman lurked off near another building, obviously intent on accomplishing something other than fighting with Tengu and Clown. Sean rounded the corner, looking for Zymeth. “Skull, they’re almost-“

“Dust, I’ll be right back. I have to do something.” Zymeth interrupted.

Sean sputtered, “You can’t just leave-“

“Dust…” Zymeth said, “I need to do this, trust me.” Sean hesitated a moment, but nodded. Zymeth nodded a silent, “Thanks” and ran off towards the building he saw Omni disappear behind. Dust continued to monitor Tengu and Clown, who were still embroiled in fighting off Wily’s troops.


“Okay, I want all of the troops stationed outside the city by sundown!” Omni ordered, “Meet Golem there.” A green, plain Sniper Joe saluted and walked off. Omni turned around, now alone, to find and collect more men. He stopped dead as a datapad clattered to his feet. He picked it up, warily.

“It’s from the SA.” Zymeth said, leaning against a building off to Omni’s right. Omnit whirled on the skeletal robot, pointing his element controlling buster towards him. Zymeth raised his hands, “Before you shoot, I thought you might like to know that Wily’s in grave danger.” Omni was stricken instantly by the comment, but he didn’t lower his weapon.

“How do you know that? From who? HOW!?” He said, his composure lost thanks to Skull’s cryptic warning. Skull chuckled.

“I know because of that datapad you have now. I wrenched it from a SA officer’s hands.” He was lying of course. He just stole it as he left the SA outpost he had visited to meet the General. On it he put false assassination orders, given by Cutman himself. “The SA plans to take out Wily as soon as they can. It doesn’t have the orders in specific, though, but their intentions are clear.”

“Why are YOU telling me this?” Omni said, still holding up his buster.

“I just don’t want Wily to die.” Skull said, still lying. “He’s such a brilliant man, it’d be a shame to have General Cutman rob the world of his genius so soon.” Omni was completely taken by Skull’s flattery.

“I’ll kill that man…” Omni hissed.

Zymeth motioned for him to calm down. “I think it’s obvious that the SA’s your biggest concern right now. Think of how proud Wily would be that you lead the troops he’s given you against them, in order to protect him.” Omni’s eyes lit up at the chance to prove his loyalty to Wily.

“Thank you, Skullman.” He said. Zymeth nodded and the two exchanged polite bows. The turned and began walking away when suddenly another idea popped into Zymeth’s head. He though of the panels that the RPD Watchers always carry with them. What a price that would be. But Sean would never condone killing the humans.

“Omni.” He called out, forcing the elemental robot to spin around. “I thought you might like to know that Tengu and Clown’s Watchers were the ones who gifted the SA with the knowledge.” Omni though for a moment and then nodded in understanding. Zymeth walked closer to him and said, quietly, “I just want you to know, that despite the side of the war I’ve taken, I’m still pulling for Wily. Don’t let Cossack’s side in on it though, it might put me, and thereby Wily in danger.”

“Alright.” Omni said, staring into Zymeth’s color inverted, yet seemingly honest, eyes. Omni spun on his heel and ran off to find more troops, leaving Zymeth alone to his thoughts. He finally spat out the manic chuckle that had been creeping up his throat. He couldn’t help but think of his luck, both in finding Omni himself and finding him to be so damn thick.


Sean blasted his Dust Crusher at a few more of Wily’s soldiers that had stumbled across his location. They were obliterated by the explosives instantly. “Damnit, Zymeth…” He muttered to himself, “what are you doing?” He looked around the corner, only to see Tengu and Clown finish off the last of the attacking forces and prepare to take off. “I can’t wait anymore…”

Dust flicked on his radio and put his hand up to touch his earpiece. “Skull! They’re getting ready to take off! I need you back!” He whispered.

“Understood. Start chasing them and I’ll catch up as soon as I can.” Skull’s voice sounded back. Dust sighed and started running and jumping after them as they took off. “Zymeth shouldn’t have any trouble catching up…” He thought to himself, regarding his bulky and top-heavy armor. He continued to chase them and finally Skull kept his word to regroup. Dust noticed he was rather pleased about something, but he brushed it off, reasoning it was probably about something morbid.

Several hours passed of racing to keep up, and both RMs were starting to get rather tired. By the looks of things so was Tengu. Night had fallen rather ominously during the chase, and Dust couldn’t shake the feeling they wandered in a few huge circles. Finally Tengu started landing, Clown in tow. The two ducked behind another building, peeking around the corner to see what was happening. They had landed on a small office building, which seemed to be a temporary personal hideaway for them, judging by the sparse RPD units that littered the area. Obviously they had counted on not being found.

“I’ll try to keep a tab on the radio signals in the area.” Dust said, fiddling with his bulky forearm. Skull nodded in agreement.

“I’ll try to thin out the crowd a bit.” Zymeth answered, gleefully. Sean admired his dedication but was somewhat unsettled by Zymeth’s willingness to leap into bloodshed. Sean once again shrugged it off. After all, Zymeth really was a soldier at heart.

Zymeth made quick work of the scarce guards in the area, waiting for them to commit mistakes such as investigating an odd noise alone or wandering out of the other’s eyesight. He couldn’t get all of them without being caught, be he did accomplish his goal at thinning their ranks. Sean finally finished tinkering with his various gadgets and contacted his friend.

“Skull, that’s enough. I think we can get in now.”

“Right right.” Skull said, cheerfully.

They regrouped and snuck into one of the windows on the third floor of the building, using their jumping skills to reach it. They darted off into the dimly lit building, searching for their targets. The saw a figure in one of the hallways and hid in an adjacent room. It was Clownman, and walking beside him was a human dressed in a police uniform with “RPD” patches on it. Dust whispered, “Watchers. I should have figured they’d be here too.”

“From the looks of things he’s not to happy with Clown.” Skull responded, amused. Clown and his superior left the hall and the two Comrades tailed them. They followed them cautiously, taking out a few generic RPD troopers in the process. Finally they followed them into a large, hallowed out room in which their equipment was set up. The other watcher was in there, but Tengu was nowhere to be seen. The cautiously entered the room, hoping not to be seen. Unfortunately they were.

“There you are!” Tengu shouted from the hallway, behind them. The two Comrades sprung to the side, dodging a three-bladed shuriken. The watchers both bolted into another room, and a makeshift security door slammed down behind them. Tengu leapt into the room past Skull and Dust, slamming his hand on a control panel to seal them in. The security door slammed behind them, trapping them with the two RPD bots.

Tengu chuckled as he floated in midair. “Come to face us alone have you, villains?”

“What a couple of rubes!” Clown jeered, assuming a battle stance.

Dust readied his buster and Skull flourished the bulk of his cloak behind him. “Skull, any preference?” Dust asked.

Skull looked between the two RPD bots. “I don’t like the colorful one.” Dust grinned and nodded in agreement. Skull grinned back, and suddenly the both sprung away from each other, firing their busters at their respective targets. Tengu darted downward, dodging Dust’s shots, while clown leapt to the side to avoid Skull’s.

Tengu barrel rolled past Dust’s barrage and hurled himself at him. He flung a shuriken at him, which transformed into a moving tornado. Dust leapt out of its path, following that up with another leap strait up. He slammed the barrel of his buster right into the side of a very surprised Tengu’s face. Tengu was knocked out of his flight path, but he landed on his feat and somersaulted right back into the air.

Skull swung his scythe fast and menacingly, forcing the nimble clown to fight defensively. Clown jumped backwards, flinging his stretchy arms forward, charged with electricity. Skull flung his arms in front of him, creating a barrier of energy. Clown yelped as his hands made contact with it, yanking them back afterwards. Skull laughed at him, frustrating Clown that much more.

Dust launched a Dust Crusher at Tengu, who easily dodged the awkward projectile. But it detonated, sending shards of shrapnel scattering across the room. Tengu avoided it, but a piece found its way to an unlucky Clown’s forehead. Tengu charged agin, swinging his three-bladed weapon at Dust frantically. Dust’s heavy armor absorbed the slices without much ill-effect, but it was slightly damaging nonetheless. Dust once again slammed his buster into Tengu’s frame in retaliation. This time, Dust unleashed several buster shots right into the aerial bot’s chest, sending him sprawling.

Clown smacked Skull across the face with a Thunder Claw, inciting a yell of rage. Clown yelped again as Skull fired a volley of shots from his buster. A few of them found themselves impacting Clown’s tiny frame. The jester leapt to the side as Tengu did the same. As they passed the slapped hands together, exchanging targets. Tengu closed distance with Skull quickly, flailing his shuriken. Skull met his blades with his own, and the two began clashing their weapons together, sending sparks scattering.

Clown lunged at Dust, his long arms stretching in front of him. Dust hopped out of the way and Clown’s arms slammed into the ground. Dust fired a few shots, but Clown retracted his arms hurling himself at Dust. Dust put his arm up to intercept his kick, and flung him backwards. Clown nimbly landed on his feet, still smiling. Clown leaped again, but this time he was met with a Dust Crusher to the abdomen. Clown stumbled backwards, cursing under his breath. It started becoming apparent that the newer Robot Master wasn’t going to stand much of a chance against the more experienced Dustman.

Tengu found himself in a similar situation. He was now locked in a melee brawl with Skullman. Zymeth had many years of practice in medieval war, and was an experienced halberdier. The scythe wielding Skull deflected every attack only to counter with his own. Tengu found himself quickly being overwhelmed, and launched himself backwards. Skull sliced Tengu across the stomach while he retreated. Tengu launched a last ditch attack, in which he held a shuriken in front of him and sent a strong blast of wind in Skull’s direction, flinging Skull backwards.

Meanwhile Clown latched on to the pipes on the ceiling, preparing to lunge at Dust from a higher vantage point. Dust just smirked. He turned on the heavy vacuum adorning the top of his head, aiming towards Clown. Clown’s smile melted as he started being pulled towards his potential killer. He held on for dear life to those bars, but Dust didn’t ease the pull of his vacuum. The pull caused his arms to stretch out, given their nature. Suddenly he became aware of another presence. He looked to his right, horrified to see Skull leaping up to his level, his scythe poised over his head. Clown screamed as Skull swung down with both hands, severing Clown’s arms from his torso.

Clown careened screaming towards Dust, who cut his vacuum off and caught the dismembered jester. He flung Clown behind him, and Skull opened fire with repeating buster, knocking him into the deep folds of unconsciousness. As Clown’s horribly disfigured body hit the ground both Comrades turned their attention towards Tengu. Tengu assumed a battle stance, still prepared to fight. Dust and Skull nodded at each other and Skull charged at the wounded Tenguman.

Tengu was obviously prepared for Skull’s assault, as the RPD officer deflected all of Skull’s heavy swings. Skull leaped at Tengu again, and their weapons clashed again. Suddenly Skull leaped up into the air, performing a back-flip. Tengu kept his eyes on Skull, anticipating another attack. However, when Skull’s cloak finally stopped blocking Tengu’s vision, it revealed a Dust Crusher hurtling towards him. Skull had back-flipped over the projectile, obscuring it with his cloak. Tengu tried to block it with his less vulnerable shoulder, but it collided with the same wound Skull had opened before. It pierced his armor and detonated, sending shrapnel flying through his insides. Tengu’s eyes rolled back in his head as he collapsed, unconscious but still technically alive.

Skull landed next to Dust again. Zymeth and Sean exchanged a glance for a moment, and then began laughing. Sean fiddled with one of the consoles as Zymeth admired Tengu’s perforated remains and Clown’s arms still dangling from the ceiling. The security doors slid open, clearing the way. Zymeth and Sean both ran after the Watchers, hoping to catch them. The scene in the room down that hallway was horrifying.

The two Watchers’ remains were strewn about the room. One was covered in severe electrical burns, while the other’s leg had been frozen and snapped off. Both of them were covered in severe lacerations and were bleeding profusely. “I love the atmosphere.” Skull said, sarcastically.

Dust was still stunned. “Dear God. Who did this?” Skull looked around the room, as if thinking of the culprit. Of course the answer came to him naturally.

“The wounds make me think of Omniman.” Skull said, suddenly serious. Dust averted his eyes from the gore. “Hey come on now, Sean. It’s just a little blood.”

“A little!?” Sean responded, on edge. Skull looked at the ground.

“Well…” he said, reaching for a panel, “let’s not waste their deaths. It seems whoever did this neglected to collect-” Skull was cut off as an electrical surge shot through his arm as he touched the Watcher’s console. “AHHHH!” He exclaimed.

“They’re reactive to DNA. They have scanners. Only the watcher can touch them. They’re unusable to us, Skull.” Dust said, still somewhat queasy.

Skull glared at the console, disgusted. Suddenly he got an idea. “DNA you say?” He said, cheerfully, “Well I see the proper DNA right here.” Dust forced himself to look over at Skull, just in time to see him cut off the corpse’s hands. Dust turned away in revulsion. Skull pocketed the hand’s wedding ring, hoping that Sean didn’t notice. Using the man’s hands like potholders, he picked up the console and began jabbing at it with the man’s bleeding finger. “Hmmm…” Skull said, frustrated. “I can’t do this. I have no idea how the hell these things work. Sean. I hate to ask this of you, but…”

Sean looked up, horrified. “Skull? No-no I can’t.” Skull offered him the Watcher’s hands, and Dust backed away. “Skull please… I can’t…”

“What’s wrong? Disturbed because of the idea, or because it has practical use now? With this, we can figure out how these panels work. It’s a great advantage…” Skull said, a tone of comfort in his voice. Dust looked up, surprised. He had never seen Skull emit the level of compassion that he was now. It was almost as if Skull realized how horrified he was at that. Still, Zymeth continued to offer the bloody dismemberments. Hesitantly, Sean took the hands and the console from him.

Zymeth started doing the same to the other Watcher. “Bachelor.” Zymeth thought to himself, a little disheartened. Sean fiddled with the panel, still disgusted. “I can’t do anything but shut people down. Clown and Tengu are both already down though.”

“What about the RPD troops under their command?” Skull asked, now rummaging through the body’s pockets.

Sean ignored his pillaging and jabbed the bloody hand at the screen. “Yeah, I can do that.”

“Let’s make it happen then.” Skull said, cheerfully.

Sean smiled. “You don’t have to tell me twice.” Sean hid a few buttons and a message scrawled across the screen, signifying that every RPD robot in the area had been deactivated. Sean looked out the window to make sure, and he saw their now-lifeless bodies collapse to the ground. Sean tossed the bloodstained console away from him and said, “That aught to help out the war effort.”

Skull nodded in agreement and said, “While we’re here and in possession of these, we might as well see how they work.”

“What?” Sean asked, believing his bloody task had been done.

“Honestly, how long do you think the RPD will take to figure out these guys are missing and they shut down their consoles? It’s not like you could report in for them. They’re a bit… messy still.”

Dust looked down, “Maybe an hour or two if we’re lucky.” Skull nodded. “Then this is our only opportunity.” Sean sighed, frustrated. “Alright. Hand me that one over there and his… his hands…” He looked down, still shaken. Suddenly Skull kicked the console over to him and jammed the man’s hands, now free of their bones and muscles, towards Sean.

“I made you some gloves.” Skull said, obviously amused with himself. Sean grudgingly took them and started working. He had the feeling that the contents of his stomach would have been evacuated by now if he weren’t mechanical.


Many minutes passed. Sean continued diligently working on the console, fearing he may run out of time. He had the outer casing off then, and was fiddling with and memorizing its components as well as how they were strung together. Zymeth, meanwhile, was rummaging through the contents of the Watchers’ wallets. He had collected over $200 from them, as well as a few credit cards, subway stamps, and family photos.

“Awww.” Skull mused, “He had a wife and two kids. They’re in for a surprise by the end of the week.” Sean looked up and glared daggers at Zymeth. He shrugged and said, “Hey, they’re probably better off.” He put the pictures back in the still-full wallet and pocketed it along with the other one.

Suddenly Dust let out a frustrated sigh. “They cut it. It’s fried.”

“Oh that’s a shame.” Skull said, walking over to him. Dust quickly removed the gloves and tossed them away, shaken. “Keep the fried remains now that they don’t shock you. They might be nice to have. I’d like to get other people looking at it too. What’d you learn anyway?”

Dust tapped his head and said, “It’s components and blueprints are all up here, friend. Now let’s get the hell out of here. I can’t take any more.”

Skull nodded and said, “You go ahead, I’m going to take this scene in a little longer.” Dust agreed and ran out of the building, for nothing else than escaping the grizzly scene. Zymeth scared the hell out of him, but at least he was useful. But Skull’s macabre antics always rattled him. He couldn’t help but be wary around him, mainly due to his twisted persona.

Meanwhile Skull dipped his fingers back into the body’s open wound, collecting more blood. He stood up again to finish the message he was scrawling on the wall. He smiled to himself, proudly, and put the other fried data pad they had used to deactivate the RPD units on the floor next to the body. He turned and walked to the nearby bathroom to rinse the crimson from his hands. After that, he hurried to meet up with Dust, and the two ran off to regroup with the rest of the Comrades. On his way out he passed the message he had taken the time to scrawl.

“And there was war in heaven: Michael and his angels fought against the dragon; and the dragon fought and his angels.

For Elysium.”


Dust and Skull left the temporary base of the RPD, walking past deactivated bots as they left. As they traveled, Zymeth would play with different corpses or inactive robots that they passed while Sean would uncomfortably rub at his hands even though he removed the blood earlier. Using a dead man’s hands had to of been the creepiest thing he had ever done. Eventually they came across Jade and Geoff close to midnight. Both were sitting down amongst the debris around a small fire.

“So, where is AM and the others?” Sean asked as he sat down to rest.

Jade answered, “Out scouting. They figured we should at least have some information when you guys get back on the Scissor Army.”

“Why bother with the fire?” Zymeth questioned as he took a seat. “It’s not like we need it for warmth. Also isn’t a bright light the opposite of what you need for stealth? Please tell me you at least know that.”

“Don’t worry,” Jade replied rolling his eyes. “The others have been sending back constant reports about our surroundings. No active robots have been found anywhere nearby. The SA seems to be on the other side of town. The fire is mostly here for comfort.”

“I personally prefer the darkness,” Zymeth said with a grin. “But I can see how you prefer fire. Many appreciate how pure its destruction is. Flames burn everything away and leave identical black ash no matter what the object; you could be a Sniper Joe, a Robot Master, or a human but after a quick cremation no one would be able to distinguish tell the difference between your remains and the residue left in a fireplace.”

“That wasn’t exactly what I was thinking,” Jade said. “However it is kind of nice to actually have a conversation. Geoff has hardly said a word the whole time we’ve been waiting here.”

“Hey!” Geoff finally acknowledged the rest of the group. “I can only listen to you ramble about magic for so long!”

“So this is what you’ve guys been doing while I’ve been gone?” Drill asked while crossing his arms.

Jade and Geoff both almost jumped up when they heard their leader’s voice. During this discussion Drill, Toad, and Bright all managed to return to the group unnoticed.

“So how did your scouting mission go, AM?” Dust asked.

“Not bad, we made a few discoveries,” Drill answered. “The majority of the SA troops seem to be about a mile North East of here and Wily’s forces have already engaged them in battle. They don’t seem to have any Robot Masters with them so this shouldn’t be too bad.”

“Yeah, Wily’s forces could probably finish the fight on their own,” Zapper joined in. “The RPD also was up until recently attacking and being pushed back by them further and further into the city, but then they all fell down on their own. That confused the hell out of the SA troops.”

“Looks like our efforts paid off,” Skull said with a grin.

“What did you guys do?” Jet asked.

“Before I answer that question,” Sean began. “Let me tell you this, Zymeth enjoyed what happened a lot. Now, do you still want to know the answer to that question?”

“No, probably not,” Jet answered.

"Smart answer" Sean replied as he once again rubbed his hands nervously.

Zymeth stood up smiling and readied his weapons, “So now that we’re done catching up, shouldn’t we go back to fighting? We can’t let Wily’s army and the Scissor army have all the fun.”

“Skull’s right,” AM said with a sigh. “We need to get going.”

Jade bent over and quickly put out the fire while the others stood up and brushed off the dirt that gathered on their armor. As soon as the fire was out, Drill ran off and the rest quickly followed his lead.


Day 3

Cossack’s Comrades had spent the first hour and a half of the new day finding the battlefield. During this time they found a few small groups of enemies that they immediately made quick work of. A handful of SA soldiers were hardly a match for seven robot masters.

After the battlefield was found, Drill made them climb to the top of a nearby building. Large sections of the walls had already been blasted apart by the fighting and the group was a little worried that the roof would not support their weight. However, they all chose to climb anyways for three reasons. First they would have an element of surprise. Also the CC would then hold the high ground and have an advantage. The final reason was for dramatic effect, none of them could deny the fact that they all thought attacking from the rooftops would be somewhat cool.

“Lets tell the Scissor Army we’ve finally arrived,” AM said once they all reached the roof and he gestured to the battle going on below. “Zapper, why don’t you tell them for us?”

“No problem,” Toad Girl replied with a grin as she walked toward the edge of the roof.

Above a portion of the battlefield, a cloud of acid rain formed. It had only been visible for a few moments before the warriors below felt the downpour eat away at their armor. Some took out shields, many hid behind debris, others simply waited for it to end, and a few fell to the ground. It didn’t take long for the Scissor Army to find the source after the storm ended and they immediately opened fire upon the broken down building. Parts of the remaining wall and roof were blasted away

“Guess they aren’t as dumb as they look,” Zapper said as she ducked down to avoid a few shots.

Then, as Toad Girl again stood up, the side of the building closest to the fighting began to collapse. Zapper slipped and was about to fall with the debris, but Zymeth grabbed her arm and quickly pulled her up.

“Thanks,” Zapper said.

“No problem,” Zymeth replied with a grin. “Now since it looks like we’ve lost our cover. May we join the action before the rest of the building falls?”

“Fine,” AM said. “No point in staying up here any longer.”

As soon as Drill finished speaking, Skull ran off the roof and landed on the ground after a series of jumps off the crumbling remains of the building. His Skull Shield immediately activated to absorb the incoming fire as he shot at the SA with his buster. The rest quickly followed.

“Does anyone here remember the Lord of the Rings movies?” Drill asked with a grin.

“Yeah,” Jade answer. “Why?”

“Who’s up for counting and comparing our kills?” AM responded as he stabbed a SA Sniper Joe.

“Do any of you think you can beat me?” Skull challenged.

“Oh, you are so on,” Geoff said while firing off a few missiles.


The Comrades sprang into battle, all doing their best to defeat the SA troops dominating the area. Wily’s troops were, for the moment, fighting along side them, though they were demonstrating a tendency towards ‘friendly fire’. Drill and Skull were the first ones to make contact with their enemies, followed closely by everyone else.

Drills hands were quickly replaced by his namesake weapons, and he proceeded to slash and hack at the SA robots using his whirling melee weapons. Drill dove underground to avoid the shots fired at him, springing up from underneath one of the SA soldiers, splitting him in half. Drill shot a glance at another SA trooper, and launched a Drill Bomb in his direction. The Trooper raised his shield to defend himself, but the bomb burrowed into it, becoming lodged. The trooper tried to throw his shield away, but it exploded taking him and his neighbor out of commission. He lobbed another bomb into a crowd, having it burrow strait through one Joe and detonate on another.

Skull sprinted through the ranks, flourishing his scythe and lopping heads and limbs from their owners. A grenade landed near his feet, but a quick activation of his Skull Barrier protected him from harm. The culprits took shelter behind a large piece of rubble. Skull laughed to himself as he leaped over this piece of debris, finding five SA Joes behind it. Still airborne, Skull rained down automatic buster shots at them. Two of them died before Skull hit the ground, and in a cold manner he proceeded to gun down the other three, taking a step to the side to avoid their returned fire. As their lifeless bodies slumped to the ground he darted back into the fray looking for more victims.

Dive hoisted a soldier above his head and hurled him at a group of others firing at him. They made contact and the five Joes hit the ground hard. His chest popped open and two Dive Missiles hurled at them, taking out the entire dog pile. Dive smirked to himself happily. A few shots hit him square on the back, due to his large stature, and he spun around, firing homing missiles in their direction. They hit a few Joes, but he wasn’t sure if they were the same ones who shot him. Then again he didn’t really care. The goliath turned and assaulted a few more Joes.

Pharaoh was busy as well, floating a few feet of the ground. Sword in hand he fired a few Pharaoh Shots to take out the distant Joes firing at him. He raised his hand above his head, creating a huge ball of flames. He hurled it at a small group of Joes, completely obliterating them all. He raised his hand and shouted “Yes!” Boot steps alerted him to more Joes behind him. He whirled around and charged his sword with red hot energy, his cape dramatically bellowing behind him as he charged forward. With a few slices the four Joes were in pieces as his burning blade cut right through their armor.

Bright raised her hands and the bulb on her head lit up brilliantly as she used Flash Stopper. The gang of SA troops that was in front of her stopped dead, their robotic eyes going haywire from the attack. She jumped backwards and opened fire with her slow but powerful buster, taking out one soldier with every shot. One Joe had his leg blown off and he slumped to the ground. Eventually the effect wore off and they returned fire at her, and she leaped out of the way of their shots. She hid behind part of a building. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before jumping back into the fray.

Dust backed away as he fired his buster at an oncoming group of SA Joes. They packed together to form a tighter defense. He took the opportunity to fire a Dust Crusher into the center of the group, which exploded sending metal shrapnel everywhere. The bits of metal flew right through the unlucky Joes, and they all stumbled from the blast. Dust fired another one, polishing off the rest of the group. He fired a few more Dust Crushers into the fray, trying not to hit any of the Wily troops in the process.

Toad took a huge leap forward, springing into a crowd of Joes. She landed on one, practically crushing him with her momentum. From his now-shorter shoulders she leapt forward and tackled another one, knocking him down and injuring him pretty badly. She was pretty good at using herself as a projectile. She finally hit the ground and was about to fire a Rain Flush probe into the air, but she might hurt some friendly targets. Instead she dropped down on all fours and fired one strait at an SA Joe. The Joe easily sidestepped the clumsy projectile, but the one behind him caught it flat on his back. It burst open spilling its contents in a huge splash, catching him and three others in a wave of pure acid.


The Comrades continued on fighting with the numerous SA troops. Wily’s forces began dwindling, but Omni and Golem made the scene soon after. Golem’s game plan was simple, as he just crushed the Joes to death with his hands. Omni, ignoring Cossack’s Comrades completely for some reason, fired his multiple element weapons at them. Dust noticed and readied a Drill Bomb, but Skull grabbed his arm.

“What are you doing Skull?” Drill asked, perplexed.

“Let’s just say I convinced him that the SA is more a threat to him than us.” Skull said, mocking the Wily bot. Drill nodded and chuckled in understanding. Suddenly two halves of a SA Joe flew by them as Dive tossed his remains.

“19!” Dive said, proudly. Skull laughed manically.

“That’s it? I’ve got 24!” Skull said. They both looked at Drill.

“Eh, 32.” Drill said, shrugging. Dive and Skull exchanged glances and Drill hopped off, laughing to himself. Skull pitched a severed Joe arm at the fleeing RM.

“You bloody liar!” Skull shouted, playfully. With that they rejoined the battle.

Bright and Toad met up in the combat, and put their skills together. Bright stunned them while Toad slammed a Rain Flush probe into the heart of their blind group. They ran into Dust eventually, who sported a large dent on one of his shoulders.

“What happened?” Bright asked, concerned.

“I ran into Golem by accident.” Dust replied, still calm.
“Oh, I’m sorry…” Toad said, sympathetically.

Dust waved it off and asked, “You mind if I join you?”

With that Dust started fighting with them too, polishing off whatever Toad’s Rain Flush didn’t get and conserving her some ammo as well.

Dive met up with Drill, and they each used their explosive projectiles to their fullest effects. Drill fired a shot which burrowed into an unlucky Joe, who Dive then proceeded to pitch at another group, followed by a few more missiles. The Joes collided along with the Dive Missiles, casing the Drill Bomb to detonate as well, destroying all of them. “Alright!” Drill exclaimed.

“I wouldn’t be so happy. You only get the point for the one you shot. Hahahaha.” Dive said, sarcastically. Drill gave him an elbow to the side and they ran off. Though, Drill really wished that Ring was there to help them.

Pharaoh and Skull found themselves together as well, and they both used their outdated but effective weapons rather efficiently. Severed Joe parts littered the area they were standing in. Skull and Pharaoh exchanged glances, and they both got an idea. Skull jumped behind a large amount of SA Joes, distracting them while Pharaoh charged another Pharaoh Shot. The Joes turned around to see that Pharaoh had hurled the ball of fire strait at Skull, and the ball took out almost every Joe between them. Skull activated his Skull Barrier just before the shot hit him, sending the ball of fire hurling in another direction, taking out more Joes. “So who gets the points for those ones?” Pharaoh asked.

“I’ll split them with you 50/50.” Skull responded. The two laughed and continued their slaughter.


Literally hours passed, and the Comrades began getting low on ammo and energy. Thankfully the heat of the war began dying down at the SA troops began pulling out. The Comrades met up and let Omni’s troops finish off the remaining SA Joes.

“94.” Dive said, triumphantly.

Dust kicked the dirt and said, “78”

Pharaoh laughed and said, “I lost track.”

“I forgot we were counting.” Bright said.

“No one matches my sheer bloodlust. I killed 112” Skull announced.

“Well I killed off 118 of them.” Drill said, happily. Skull crossed his arms.

“Fine, you win. But in the end, aren’t we all winners?” He asked, happily.

Toad raised her hand. “Yes?” Drill asked.

She smiled and said, “I got 130!” Everyone stopped and looked at her, dumbfounded. “I win, right?” She asked, suddenly concerned. Skull burst out laughing.

“Congratulations, Toad, you beat me in sheer bloodlust.” Skull said, shaking her hand. Toad just smiled, still somewhat confused. All of the Comrades were feeling pretty good about themselves at that very moment. This battle was finished, with SA carrying the defeat, and the RPD troops wiped out. Suddenly they all became aware that the Wily troops were still active, and that where they stood they were surrounded.


It was late. The sky was slowly filling with hues of purple, orange, red and pink as the sun was setting. Night would be upon the destroyed city very soon. But at least the fighting was over for now.

The Comrades had just won their first victory against not only the SA, but the RPD as well. They had earned a moment to savor their win, but it didn't last long.

"What do we do about the Wily troops?" asked a slightly nervous Zapper.

"We'll figure something out." AM replied.

"We better figure something out fast then. Look! " Jade said.

They had been spotted by Wily's troops who were now slowly surrounding the team. Everyone was on edge, except Skull. He seemed pretty calm even though they were in a bad spot. A VERY bad spot. Low energy, low ammo and some of the Comrades had already taken some damage to their armor. Needless to say, they weren't exactly prepared for another battle.

"Who's up for round 2?" Asked Dive as he was about ready to launch a few dive missiles into the surrounding troops.

"Hold on a moment." Zymeth said.

Omni was now walking slowly towards the Comrades. As he approached, he waved his hand to the troops and they all seemed to back down. He then walked right up to Drillman.

The two stared at each other for a moment. Omni then glanced at Skull then back to AM and then he spoke.

" Greetings Comrades." He began. "It seems we are in debt to you for the information about the threat to Wily."

Everyone except Skull had a confused look on their face right now.

"Information?" Asked Sean.

Zymeth quickly cut Sean off before he could say any more.

"It was our pleasure to assist you in helping the good doctor." He finally said.

"Indeed. As repayment for your help, you're free to go for now." Omni finally said as he stepped aside.

"Thank you." AM replied still a bit confused, though he knew Zymeth had something to do with this. "Let's go guys." He said.

They were hesitant, but the Comrades went along on their way. They all nervously kept a watch on Omni and the soldiers as well as they passed a number of them. Omni kept his word though. Not a single shot was fired upon the Cossack Comrades as they made their way out of the city.

Once they felt they were at a safe location with a small group of trees they decided to stop and rest a bit. It was dark by now anyway. The Comrades had indeed had quite a day.

"Well I'm glad that's over with for now." Said Jet as she turned her light bulb on just enough to see everyone.

"Yeah. That was kinda creepy." Zapper added.

"Care to explain what exactly happened back there Zy?" asked a curious AM.

"Yeah. That was odd to say the least." remarked Dive as he leaned against a tree and lit a cigarette.

"I may or may not have perhaps misplaced some information of questionable authenticity." Zymeth stated.

"You tricked him in other words?" AM asked.

"Does it really matter so long as it works to our own ends? We got out without having to fight all 3 factions."

Everyone was quiet after that. How could they argue after all? Zymeth was right. They got out and they were all alive and intact.


Day 4

After a long trek back the Comrades were back at the Citadel. Though they were all glad to be home again, they all had their own reactions and emotions about what they had witnessed in battle. Though Zymeth enjoyed such scenes of mass destruction, everyone would agree it was one of the most morbid sights the Comrades had ever laid eyes on.

"Such a pity to have to leave such lovely scenery behind..." commented Zymeth.

"I'm not so sure "lovely" was the word I was looking for." Sean said.

"Well. Whatever you call it, I didn't like it one bit!" said Jet who was a bit shaken up by what she'd seen.

"We're back now though." declared AM, "We should get some rest and see what needs to be done around here."

After a moment or two, they all agreed and went off to do their own things elsewhere in the citadel. The war had officially began and they still weren't sure how to react to everything quite yet.

They say first impressions are everything. If this is true, then it's a safe bet everyone was having some doubts about the war. Though they won their first battles, would they be able to keep it up? Or were the Comrades in over their head? They didn't know one way or the other.

For now though, they earned some much needed rest and time to reflect on what would come to be known as the war of their time.




Blyka's Door
E-Can Factory
MM BN Chrono X
MM PC Website
Protodude's RM Corner
Reploid Research Lavatory
RM AMV Station
RM EXE Online
RM:Perfect Memories
Sprites INC