The Business of War

Red or Dead in St. Petersburg

By Naop, Animemaster, Zymeth, Mandrill, Jade

Scenario E
Cossack Comrades (C)
Saturn (W)
Mysteryman (SA)

Location: St. Petersburg, Russia
Max. Cossack Scrap Value: 7,897
SA Infantry: 1,591
RPD Units: 513
Wily Bots: 260

Mysteryman stands atop one of the many buildings along the edge of the city. He watches his SA Joes marching along the streets below him, making a looming symphony of death and destruction. For the most part, the streets are empty, the civilians having either hid themselves in their homes or evacuated the city altogether, staying as far away from the war as possible by avoiding the major cities.

The platoon of about one hundred SA troops crosses a bridge leading to the “Smolny”, St. Petersburg’s administration building. “This is my last chance.” Mystery thinks to himself. “If I’m going to get my revenge on the Tyrants, this will be my last chance to prove myself to General Cutman. My last mission wasn’t a complete failure, but the General apparently becomes particularly infuriated when the enemy humiliates one of his direct subordinates.

“The fact that the bastard in question was one of Cossack’s lackeys was all the more reason to annoy the General. But personally, I couldn’t be more motivated for this mission; once I take St. Petersburg, Cossack’s Citadel is just a step farther. This will be our chance to wipe them out, before they become too influential in this war. I hate Cossack, I really do. The Scissor Army will crush him, and all of his creations! Of that, I am certain!

“But, I have to remain confident of myself. I have to make them all fear me, like the General said…”


Mysteryman thinks back to his return from Nonsteropolis. He had just stepped into Cutman’s quarters to report. Next thing he knew, he was waking up in a dark room, his arms and legs nailed to a table. Numerous wires were connected to every joint and articulation on his body.

“What is this?!” Mysteryman cries out, “General?!”

“Shush, my boy.” General Cutman’s voice hisses from the shadows, unseen to Mysteryman. “You are about to learn a lesson. A lesson I should have taught you when I first let you join me. A lesson of pain.”

Suddenly, electricity crackles through the wires, as Mysteryman screams out in pain. “Aaaaaaaaaaaaaagghhhhh!! W… Why, General? What have I done? I conquered the city!”

“But you were humiliated by a faction that I don’t even see as cannon fodder. That is unforgivable!”

The electrical shocks continue to surge through Mystery’s body in a wave of pain as he screams even louder.

“You are probably wondering why it hurts so much.” The General smiles wickedly, “Well, it’s because I maximized your pain receptors. Your nervous system will probably break down soon if you don’t tell me what I want to hear.”

“I’m sorry, General!!” Mysteryman shrieks through the now blinding pain, “I’m sorry! I won’t let it happen again!”

“I don’t want apologies, I want results!” Cutman bellows as he continues his torture. “You will go to Russia and you will earn your place in this army. You will get us closer to the man responsible for your humiliation. You will hand me your creator’s head on a silver platter or I will make you pay for it! Do you understand?!”

The shocks continue. “Y… Yes, General! I… I’ll do it… I swear!!” Mysteryman wails.

“Answer me this, Mysteryman; why did you not make use of the upgrades I gave you?”

“I don’t…” Mysteryman is interrupted by an even more painful surge of electricity. “Aaaaaaaaghhhh! I… I didn’t get the chance! Th… they got me by surprise!”

“I’m tired of your excuses, Mysteryman.” The General grits his teeth, “I will make you suffer until you learn to fear me, so you won’t fail me again.” He turns the machine to full power, “Do you fear me yet?”

No answer from Mysteryman, save for his continued screams of agony. Thankfully the room is soundproof.

“I said… Do you fear me?!?”

A final discharge rages through Mystery’s spine until he almost loses consciousness.


“Good.” Cutman’s evil smile glistens in the dull light. “Now go, and make them fear you the way you fear me. Show them all a world of pain!”


Back in the present day, the SA troops have reached the other side of the bridge. The Russian army approaches from the Smolny. The soldiers open fire, but are surprised to see the SA troops suddenly start to fall back, back across the bridge. Confident, the Russian army gives chase, hoping to drive them out of the city for good.

Now the SA army have made it across the bridge and the Russian troops are crossing it in pursuit, when suddenly the bridge vanishes without a trace. Dozens of soldiers, tanks, and police bots plummet into the frozen waters of the Neva River. The SA troops vanish as well; the real SA Joes had been in formation across the edge of the river, ready to open fire on the few robotic soldiers that managed to make it out of the gelid waters. The humans had most likely died from hypothermia, while the tanks were already resting at the bottom of the river.

Mysteryman laughs with glee. “Oh yes, I will make them fear me alright…”


“Jeez, Dust sure picked a swell time to go n’ play garbage-man.” Diveman huffs as the Comrades are observing the ongoing battle from their vantage point on the other side of the city.

Cossack’s Comrades are in enough of a bind as it is; little money, no real army, Scissor Army now at their door. This has all been compounded by Ringman’s sudden departure at the start of the war, as well as the fact that Dustman has left for Toronto to do a little scavenging for pieces of destroyed robots as well as to recover the remains of Artilleryman, who Dr. Cossack picked up an S.O.S. transmission from sometime after the battle there against Geminiman. At any rate, the Comrades have dwindled down to six now.

“Don’t worry, Dive.” Drillman responds, scouting the city to try to determine the SA’s most likely route, “Dustman’s still pulling his weight for the team, even if he’s not fighting.”

“Yeah, more then I can say fer’ Ringman.” Geoff mutters. “That son-of-a-bitch just up n’ abandons us right when we needed him the most. I swear if I live through this, I’ll hunt that bastard down an’ rip him a new asshole.”

“Relax, Dive.” Jade speaks up. “I’m sure Ring’s got his reasons.”

“You taking his side now, Pharaoh?!” Diveman shouts, his rage slowly building. “I ‘oughta beat your ass too just for sayin’ such a thing!”

“Is that a challenge?” Pharaohman asks wryly.

Dive raises his fists. “It is now!!”

”Bring it, Captain Nemo.” Jade readies a Pharaoh Shot in one hand.

”You asked for it, Tut…”


A rather loud and sudden outburst from the usually kind and soft-spoken Jet causes the two to immediately power down. “I know you’re upset over all of this.” She looks down. “I am too. But if we keep fighting each other, we’ll never be able to win. And General Cutman will destroy everything we hold dear…” Tears start welling up in her eyes.

“Yeah you’re right, Jet.” Pharaoh says. “Sorry, Dive.”

Geoff nods, “Me too, buddy.”

“Yeah, let’s save that pent-up rage for the SA.” Zymeth chimes in. “Especially that Mysteryman bastard. I owe him big time, and he’s about to wish he never even thought of doing what he did to Reg.” Blizzardman told Zymeth about what that coward Mysteryman had done in Nonsteropolis, using phantom illusions of the Comrades to fight him. “He thinks he’s gonna use our likenesses against us and get away with it? He’s sorely mistaken.”

“I feel the same way as you, Zy.” Toad puts her hand on his shoulder. “But for now, we’re gonna have to focus on the big picture here.”

“We all feel as you do, Skull.” Drillman adds. “But Zapper’s right. We’re not going to profit from going off on a personal vendetta here. If this city falls to the Scissor Army, then that puts the General right at Cossack’s doorstep, which means we are in BIG trouble. We can’t let them take St. Petersburg, at any cost.”

The other five Comrades nod in agreement.

Jade peers out a couple of miles to the east. “Hey, take a look at that. Seems Wily’s joining the party too.”

“As much as I hate to say it, I think we may well need the good doctor’s help again.” Skull muses.

“Yeah, I don’t like the idea of relying on Wily.” Drill says, “But we don’t have much choice. We’re gonna have a hard time doing this on our own.”


Sure enough, a small detachment of Wily Joes is also entering the city, led by Saturn.

“I hope I don’t run into any of the other Gladiators here.” Saturn says, mostly to himself. While most of the Cosmic Gladiators joined Cossack at the onset of the war, Saturn opted to defect to Wily’s side in the interest of obtaining more manpower. Now, Wily’s suddenly sent him to what’s practically Cossack’s front yard, and the stardroid is nervous at the prospect of confronting his former teammates here.

“Well, I can’t afford to think about that right now.” He resolves. “I have a job to do, and I’m gonna make sure those Scissor bastards go down!”

“With that ridiculous army?” Someone’s voice suddenly speaks up. “That’s peanuts compared to what Cutman’s got fighting out there. He’ll stomp you guys like a bug.”

“Who’s there?!” Saturn readies himself, along with several of the Joes. Looking around, he spots Pharaohman leaning against a wall in the nearby ally. “You’re one of Cossack’s guys, huh?” the ringed robot spouts. “What do you want?”

Jade shrugs “As I said before, you guys don’t stand a chance right now against the Scissor Army. Their troops will overwhelm yours, plus they’ve got Mysteryman leading them, and trust me, you don’t want to take him on by yourself.”

“So you want to team up, is that what you’re getting at?” Saturn doesn’t want to fight Cossack if he doesn’t have to, but at the same time, he’s still a little worried this might be a ploy to lower his guard.

“Cossack needs all the help he can get, and the stakes are pretty high, in case you haven’t noticed. We can’t afford to lose here, and right now, Wily seems to be the lesser evil, strange as that may sound. So how ‘bout it? You scratch our back and we’ll scratch yours?”

(Mega Man N Writes)
Saturn tried to keep a poker face of sorts. He would much rather join up with Cossack's forces than fight them, but he was worried he was being set up by Pharaohman.

This sort of thought didn't usually cross his mind.

"Mmm," Saturn grunted the affirmative, holding out his hand. Pharaohman promptly shook it. "Where's the rest o' yer team, anyways?"

"A ways over there," Pharaohman pointed behind him. "Well, most o' them. Dustman's helping Cossack salvage some parts in Toronto, and Ringman… well, we don't know where HE is right now."

Pharaohman and Saturn walked back to meet up with the rest of the present Comrades, with a group of minor robots following: 65 Yanbows, 50 Mechakero, 33 Kamôn, 30 Nebulae, 30 Pengu Bombers, 25 Shield Attackers, 20 Crystal Joes, 5 Bouncers and 2 Power Masslers.

«Should I tell them Ringman's with Wily?» Saturn thought, walking about five steps behind Pharaohman and at a slightly slower pace. «That's something he doesn't want them to know, that's for sure, but I think his teammates have to know. But…»

He stopped where he was.

«Is it worth it?»


Pharaohman and Saturn met up with the rest of the Comrades present at St. Petersburg a couple minutes later.

"Guys, this is Saturn," he introduced the ringed Stardroid. "Wily sent 'im in, and he's gonna help us against the Scissor Army."

"Why're you with Wily?" asked Toadgirl, genuinely curious. "The rest of the Stardroids're with Cossack, why aren't you?"

"I kinda thought we needed a little more manpower, some more forces," Saturn explained. "With Cossack it's just the Robot Masters. No backup. But with Wily—" He gestured to the many minor robots behind him.

"Aren't you worried you'll end up fighting your teammates some time?" Bright Babe wondered.

"Oh, definitely!" Saturn replied, his eyes open very wide as he answered the orange-clad young woman. "Actually, I didn't wanna fight anyone that was with Cossack. I just focused on the Seven Mercenaries in Mexico City and I'm really glad you guys've offered t' team up. Thank you."

"I think we'll have to cut the interview short," Skullman cut in, using the usual smooth yet sinister voice. "I have a feeling that Mysteryman is approaching."

"We got a plan to face 'em?" Saturn asked.

He and the Comrades all thought for a bit.

"I have an idea!" Toadgirl piped up, snapping her finger. "We could set up a trap that could kill off a whole lot of Scissor Army Joes, an’ have Skull trick Mystery into following th’ path t’ th’ trap."

"I like the way this sounds…" Skullman spoke up. An evil look appeared on his face as he retracted his hand and readied the Skull Buster.

"Wha’ kinda trap ya go’ ‘n mind?” Diveman asked, cracking his knuckles in hopes that his zombie comrade’s idea for trap would be what he had in mind.

"We could set up a bunch o’ Rain Flush launchers an’ douse ‘em all w’th acid," the green-clad girl proposed with a wide smile.

"Douse them from several sides an’ confuse ‘em," Pharaohman commented. "I like it."

"Could eve’ use a Flash Stopper t’ distract ‘em," Diveman suggested.

"That could work too," seconded Bright Babe.

"Or a Time Freeze," Saturn volunteered. "I can help there. But… isn’t Bright Babe weak to acid? Where’s she gonna hide to stay unharmed?"

"Zymeth could probably just hide her under ‘is Skull Barrier if we don’t have t’ set off th’ trap too early," Drillman decided.

"‘F worse comes t’ worse, I c’n bea’ up s’me Russian commandoes ‘n’ take ‘m,” Diveman spoke up confidently.

"That’d work too," Bright Babe laughed in agreement.

"So you think that’d take out a whole lot of SA troops?" Toadgirl asked.

"A’ leas’ slow ‘m down," the giant submarine-robot replied. "Gi’ folks time t’ bail outta th’ city."

"Enough I think," Pharaohman followed up Diveman’s last remark.

"And what about the RPD?" Saturn asked, looking around.

"Oh, fuck the RPD," Diveman replied dismissively.

"No," Saturn replied. "I meant: Won’t they be here?"

"Well," Pharaohman answered, "those guys ‘n’ th’ Scissor Army have th’ two biggest numbers in terms of troops. We should keep the RPD and the SA fightin’ each other." He paused.

Then he added:

"And hope they kill each other."

"But the SA would probably wipe them out," Toadgirl pointed out.

"Well, at least weaken one side severely," Pharaohman replied.

"Yeah, RPD," Diveman added.

"But they’d at least put a good dent in all the SA troops," Toadgirl said in response.

"And that’s when yer trap comes int’ play," Saturn answered. "So we sit back a bit t’ let the RPD weaken the SA, get Skullman t’ lead them into the acid bath, and then we finish ‘em off?”

"The other way around," Drillman corrected. "First Zapper’s trap, then RPD vs. SA then we step in again."

"Sounds good to me," Bright Babe commented.

The other members agreed.

"Then it’s settled," Drillman finalized the plan. "So now… we set up."

The Comrades and Saturn then got to work.


Frantically, the citizens of St. Petersburg ran away from the nearly hundred SA Joes and the troops’ leader. The troops still marched toward the Смолнй, but the approach of more Russian troops from behind them, in an attempt to surprise the SA faction, forced Mysteryman to turn around.

"This just isn’t worth my time," he groaned, his face a more confident façade than his actual feelings. He sent a quarter of the Joes after the Russian troops and kept the rest marching toward the Смолнй. Quickly, the Russian soldiers were all fatally wounded or killed by the Joes’s shots, but the tanks tried to keep fighting. However, the SA Joes managed to make short work of them as well, destroying the cannons, wrecking the tracks to the point that some tanks could not move, and causing other sorts of damage to render the Russian troops helpless.

"До свидания," Mysteryman said with a sadistic smirk on his face before commanding the Joes to infiltrate the Смолнй.


"I think that’s enough," Saturn remarked as he set up another one of Toadgirl’s Rain Flush probes near the corner of a street. He turned to face Cossack’s Comrades’ crimson-clad leader. "Is that enough?"

"Two more should do it," Drillman answered the Stardroid.

"Got it," came Toadgirl’s response as she pulled two last Rain Flush mortars out. She set one of them up herself while Pharaohman took care of the other.

"And THAT should do it," Drill declared.

"How many Scissor Army Joes d’ya think this’ll wipe out?" Saturn said curiously.

"Pro’ly fi’y, a hundre’," Diveman replied, getting ready to jump into the Neva River under a bridge nearby. "‘Hundre’ ‘n’ fi’y ‘f we’re lucky."

"So Zymeth," Drillman spoke up, "I got a reading that the SA’s at the Смолнй. You know what to do, right?"

"Yes, I know," Skullman answered in a well-articulated voice. "Mysteryman will wish he had never impersonated us in Nonsteropolis once I am done with him." Instinctively, he started to walk in the direction of the Смолнй.

"So, I think we’re about ready," Drillman decided. "Bright Babe, Saturn, I need you on the front line to distract them with your freeze attacks."

Bright Babe nodded, and walked toward a spot about fifty yards in front of the trap.

«This might be my chance to tell the Comrades that Ringman’s with Wily,» Saturn thought. Then he spoke up:

"Uhh… Drillman…? Gotta tell ya something…"

"Hmm?" the Comrades’ leader asked, turning to look at the ringed robot.

«I still don’t know if I SHOULD tell them,» Saturn thought a bit harder. «I can’t help but feel like I’m being a snitch. But SHOULD I tell them…?»

He stood there, waiting a little longer before saying something. In the meantime, Pharaohman, Toadgirl and Diveman got into position to wait for the SA Joes.

"Never mind."


Dive Man noticed Saturn's uneasiness and resurfaced to shoot him a dirty look.

"Bastard's not tellin' us everythin'." Dive Man pondered. "I feel it in my gut. What's on his mind?" Saturn noticed Dive Man glaring at him. To his part, Dive Man didn't back down and simply narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

"He and I gonna have to a heart-to-heart after this is over." Dive Man mused as he submerged and waited for unsuspecting Joes to approach. The remainder of the comrades had taken their positions on the western side of the bridge, towards the Farforovaja district. Within minutes, a small contigent of Joes entered the Cossack's territory over Dive's bridge. As they reached the end of the street, Bright Babe unleashed her flash stopper, catching the troopers off-guard. Surprised, the Joes staggered about, covering their eyes with their arms, some dropping their weapons. Bright and Saturn take cover inside the buildings as Toad followed up with her rain flush, covering the street with acid. The Joes staggered about, trying to get out of the rain, but still couldn't see where they're going, and just staggered into walls and each other. A few tripped and fall into the river, but Dive Man blasted them with dive missiles before they could recover. As the battle wageed on above, Dive Man fired a barrage of dive missiles, destroying the bridge and sending the Joes tumbling into the frigid waters below.

Pleased with his handiwork, Dive Man smiled a cruel, blade-like smile before diving and racing off north to the next bridge. A few miles later, Dive came to a railroad bridge. A train commandeered by Splitter Joes was moving west towards the center of the city. Dive Man patiently waited for the train to reach middle of the bridge before unleashing his next barrage of missiles. Again, Dive Man smiled cruelly as he watched the train plummet to its watery grave before submerging and taking off to his next target.

A few minutes later, Dive Man reached the Aleksandra bridge. As Dive Man surfaced, he could see half a dozen civilians fleeing east across the bridge, pursued by several Splitter Joes. Two women, a man, and a child were gunned down. Another man and woman were wounded. The two civilians limped towards the bridge, only to be cut off by more Joes.

"Dear god, somebody help us!!" the woman pleaded.

"Truth be told..." Dive Man muttered as he dove deeper into the icy waters. From the bottom of the river, Dive Man remorselessly fired a barrage of dive missiles and watched the humans meet their final end. Their calls for help were soon cut short by explosions tearing the bridge to pieces.

"...I don't give a shit."

Any of the Joes that weren't destroyed in the explosion, plunged into the icy Neva and were buried underneath tons of steel and concrete. Along with the two civilians Dive Man promptly took off for his next bridge, without a second thought. Despite his talk earlier for giving the humans time to evacuate, it's clear that he really didn't care about their well-being.

"Sorry, kiddies. But war's a dirty game..." Dive apologized mockingly as he reached his next bridge. "...and I'm a dirty player!"


One by one Dive destroyed the bridges. The SA was trapped. Every Joe that tried to swim across the Baltic was blasted by Dive. Zapper prepared the last of her mortars, with Zymeth getting ready to start the shield for Jet.

“Take one last look at the sun. For today, it will rain acid!” Drill called out. And rain it did. One by one the mortars let out the acid, and the Joes screamed in agony. Mystery, however, grabbed various Joes and used them as shields.

“Those little bastards…they think they can stop me with a little rain. March forward my Joes! They can’t keep this up. Fire!” he cried.

Soon Zapper’s weapons were drained. “What are we gonna do now? The RPD didn’t arrive yet and Mystery is still coming!” she cried.

“Well on the plus side, we didn’t need to use Zymeth as a means to get Mysteryman to us. Unfortunately he evaded our attack. I think it’s time we take the fight on the other side. Zapper can join Dive in the water. Jade and Zymeth, take the skys. Bring these two with you,” motioning to Saturn and Jet. “I will burrow under the Baltic Sea. Any Wily bot that wants to follow, go with my tunnel,” Drill commanded.


Mystery couldn’t believe his optics. These Cossack bots not only inconvienced his attack, doused his men with acid, and are now flying over. He lost a lot of his army in the subsequent attacks by the submarine and the toad.

“This was supposed to be easy. How is it that these…cannon fodder have out beaten my men!?! It is time I put matters in my own hands…”

As Mystery spoke those words, the ground below shot up and the form of Drillman appeared.

“You shall not pass Mysteryman. I will defend Mother Russia with all my heart. You will fall, just as your malevolent leader will,” he told the master of mysteries.

“Hehehe well well well, the infamous Drillman. You really pissed off the General. He was really set on you joining him. And when the General is upset, then people…die…of course you know better then anyone else,” he sneered. The confidence in Drillman turned to anger.

“YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH!” he yelled. Suddenly Mystery smiled.

“I will. Allow me to introduce my assistant, the lovable Violet Parr.” And he turned around and there she stood. Bloodied, she walked forward and smiled.

“Hi Drill. I missed you.” She extended her arms out to the robot. Drill started to break down.

“Oh Violet…I missed you…I missed you..” and the crying robot moved tward the girl.

“DON’T! It’s a trap!” yelled the voice of Zymeth. He had just arrived, carrying the corpse of a SA Sniper Joe.

“Zymeth…but she is here. And tangible…” the disillusioned Drillman cried.

“You fool! Mysteryman can create illusions? Remember Blizzard? Speaking of which…” he set his dark eyes on Mystery. “We need to have a little chat ‘Comrade’”

Mystery stared at Zymeth and uttered a two words:

“Oh Shit.”


Skull continued to glare at him. "While I appreciate the guile, deceit, and cunning, I don't appreciate th use of MY image without permission!" Skull said, scornfully. The two stared at eachother for a few moments, intensely, and suddenly they began laughing.

"Hahahaha, fine fine, next time I'll ASK!... What's your first name?" Mystery asked.

"That's not important right now, Mystery." He responded, dodging the question. Mystery shrugged. "One moment." Skull turned to his stunned teammate, who was begginning to be surrounded by SA troops. Skull walked over to him and said, "Drill, I appologize for this, but obviously This needs to be done." Drill pried his eyes away from his lover's visage to give Skull a questioning look. "I know it hurts, Drill. Trust me, I know." Skull looked around to make sure none of the CC members were watching. They weren't. "It'd just too bad the SA had to kill you so soon..."

"Skull-" Drill started, before he was inturrupted by the skeletal figure grabbing his arm and forcing him to the side. The dazed Drill flew forward as Skull kicked him into the tunnel he had made. Skull fired two shots down into its depths, seemingly hitting Drill squarely and collapsing the tunnel on top of his lifeless body.

"Nice shot." Mystery applauded.

"Remember, I had nothing to do with that." Skull said, sternly. Mystery nodded.

"What brings you here now, Skull?" Mystery asked.

"I have certain... information for you..." Skull said, sinisterly. "Fears and weaknesses of Cossack's minions. I thought it'd be handy for you to have of all people." Skull took a disk from his claok and offered it, but Mystery put a hand up to refuse.

"I am empathic, Skullman. I have no need for it, though I truly appreciate the gesture."

"I see. Well then perhaps some advice then." Skull said, honestly. "If I were you, I'd focus on taking the Cossackers out personally. They don't know much of your abilities save for Blizzard's random ramblilngs, so they'd be easy prey for you. They wouldn't know what the hell to do."

Skull laughed on the inside. In reality, Skull had breifed every CC member on Mystery's abilities, and set strict guidelines for when they are attacked. They were to call for backeup the very second something strange or unusual happened, thereby having their allies come and demolish the less-than combat oriented Mystery. Mystery dies, and Skull gets off scott-free. However...

"I'm sorry, Skull." Mystery said. Skull raised an eyebrow. "I've learned from Blizzard that direct confrontation is something I should be VERY careful to avoid. You may be right, but it's not a risk I'm willing to take. And you wouldn't be able to help me, needing to keep face with the Cossackers.

'Damn!' Skull thought. It seemed like Mystery's little bout with General Cutman left him too cautious and too paranoid to fall for Skull's tricks, conciously or not. "Ah, I see. Well you're the commander here. I do hope you have a backeup paln, though."

"Of course I do, my friend." Mystery stated, triumphantly. "Something just... grand. Something that should put these insects in their place, heh heh heh." Skull crossed his arms, outwardly intrigued, inwardly concerned. "Don't worry, I'll give you fair warning before it happens. Never fret." With that, Mystery began laughing insanely, disapearing into the ranks of his troops.

Skull waited a moment and then said, "DAMN!" And racing back to meet his friends. With Mystery's abscence, the Joes took a hostile stand towards Skull again, who returned the aggression full heartedly 'Mystery is not going to make this easy for me...' Skull thought, annoyed.

While Skull met back up with the team, Drill slowly began coming out of his dazed and confused state. The illusion was gone, and he was by himself trapped on all sides by dirt. Of course, Drillman couldn't really be trapped by dirt. Skull's shots never made contact, only collapsed a small part of the tunnel safely on top of the tunnelling robot. Drill sighed. He burrowed backwards to clear the path for the Wily troops, and turned to redig the area that Skull had destroyed. Skull had saved him from the illusion, something that Drill both was grateful for and somewhat disheartened...


“This has gone too far…” MysteryMan thought out loud. With a few hundred men down, his plan to conquer the city without a scratch was dangerously hanging from a thread. He never expected the Cossackers to work so well as a team, setting traps and bringing down the bridges. But it was precisely the bridges, which would prove to be the key element of his plan.

The cloaked robot was now hiding on a balcony, near the recently destructed bridge of Narodnaja Ulitsa, which he had successfully crossed along some of his troops before DiveMan ruined his fun. Right now, his only concern were the airborne Cossackers, which he hoped would take long enough to find him. The submariner was about to meet his match…


As DiveMan approached the next bridge on his list, with ToadGal close behind him, he made a signal for her to stay back, while he worked on the SA Joes marching above. Suddenly, much to his surprise, the whole bridge vanished from view, leaving the unprepared soldiers falling into the Neva river. Shocked as they were, Toad and Dive took several seconds before finishing off the SA units that had fallen into their territory.

As soon as they were done, Dive looked back on the path he had travelled. Back at the beginning, over at Narodjana, he could see that the same bridge he was about to destroy had reappeared there, allowing the SA Joes to continue their progress into the city.

“What the…?” DiveMan was completely baffled.


Saturn and BrightBabe were back on the ground, when SkullMan rejoined them. PharaohMan descended as well, while DrillMan emerged from the ground, still a little dazed, he greeted his comrades. “What’s the situation?” the leader asked. But his response was everyone pointing towards the previously destroyed bridge. His jaw dropped, as he saw a brand new bridge on top of the previous one. Hundreds of SA Joes were running towards them. Fortunately, Skull had taken care of the few men Mystery had left behind.

“Zymeth, Jade… find MysteryMan! He has to be the one responsible for this.” Reacting quickly, as was expected of him, DrillMan started giving orders to his team. The others, could just prepare for the inevitable confrontation with the Scissor Army. No way to weasel their way out of it…


Mystery couldn’t help to laugh out loud as he saw DiveMan swimming down the river. In matter of seconds, he had reached the bridge he had placed for his troops to cross over. His confidence proved to be justified, when his men instinctively cleared the bridge, some of them going back purposely, just in time to avoid any dive missiles.

Contributing to DiveMan’s frustration, the bridge had vanished again, also avoiding damage. The submariner shouted obscenities from under the water.

Meanwhile, two bridges ahead, the aforementioned vanishing bridge had reappeared, with more SA Joes ready to cross it. This time, DiveMan pushed himself to the limit, and managed to destroy the bridge before all of the Joes could get out of the way. This time, he thought he had nailed it.

Triumphant, he even emerged to bring the fight to the Joes that had crossed the river. But after a while, he saw something from the corner of his eye…

Two more bridges had appeared, one on Narodjana (again) and another one in Grantnaja. Infuriated, DiveMan submerged into the gelid waters once again. ToadGal could only watch, as he went on his pursuit of the vanishing bridges…


“There he is!” Pharaoh shouted. SkullMan followed him to the balcony with caution, slightly behind.

“Wait, we shouldn’t approach him head on!” SkullMan tried warning Pharaoh, trying to gain time to come up with a plan so he could still play the double agent fro both sides. But it was too late, Pharaoh had fired a full pharaoh shot at the cloaked SA captain.

After the dust cleared, a laugh was heard from afar. On what was left of the balcony, laid the corpse of a common Joe. “Damn!” Pharaoh cursed.


By now, after several minutes, every SA Joe had crossed the river. Although their numbers had decreased, there were still at least a thousand of them.

Exhausted, DiveMan had finally decided to give up on the bridges and help his comrades. ToadGal followed close behind as he cleared a path among the Joes’ lines for them to reach the CC.

“What now, boss?” still panting, DiveMan asked Drill. They were surrounded by hundreds of Joes, and the Wily-bots where rapidly decreasing in number. The leader tried to think of a solution as he kept on fighting along his team.

“Where the hell is the RPD?!” Pharaoh shouted with frustration, and that was when Drill realized their only alternative.

“Let’s go further into the city, the army must be stationed at the government’s palace!” DrillMan ordered. The CC, plus Saturn and his mechaniloids, directed their efforts at clearing a path. The incredible AI of the Joes didn’t make it easy, but they eventually reached a point where the enemy was more focused on staying together than chasing after them. At least half of the mechaniloids had been left behind, and most of the CC beared injuries from the riffle fire.

As they approached the town square, his only greeting were more guns pointed at them… the RPD was stationed at the Smolny, guarding it with barricades, tanks and snipers. “Freeze!!!” their commander shouted through a very large loudspeaker.

Without much of a choice, the CC came to a halt and lifted their arms. “Don’t shoot!” DrillMan intervened in behalf of his team. “We are here to help the city!”

“We didn’t ask for your help, renegades!” the commander kept on speaking through his device. “Your presence here did nothing to help our situation!”

Things were starting to look grim for the CC, until another voice was heard from inside the Smolny’s gardens. “Let them in!” a woman, who was not using anything to amplify her voice.

“But Governor…” the commander could be heard by the CC, even through covered the loudspeaker with his hand.

“It’s an order!” the Governor was not about to turn down the team who had always fought for them in the past. Shutdown code, or not, they were allies in this war.

Reluctantly, the army made way for them…


“We can’t begin to thank you enough for what you've done,” the governor commended. “I can only imagine how much higher the death toll would’ve been if you had it not been for you,”

“All part of a day’s work,” Dive replied as he took a lit up a cigarette. He couldn't help but think back to the gunned down civilians back on the Aleksandra, but he still didn't feel a drop of remorse or sympathy. Smiling, he added, “We jus’ wanna protect the good people of this city as much as these assholes,”

“Don’t push your luck,” an RPD neo officer warned.

“Please, now’s not the time for this,” the governor reaffirmed. “We’re in this together, now. We can’t fight these monsters AND ourselves,” Drill and Pharaoh nodded in agreement.

“You know where the SA’s going to strike?” Pharaoh asked thoughtfully.

“A few Yanbows spotted them advancing north along the Novgordskaja ulitsa,” Saturn reported. “It’s the last the major road they’ll hit before they’re here. And it’s nowhere near any bridges we can take out,”

“Not that it’d do any good,” Dive vexed bitterly. If Drill could frown, he would. The SA were clearly moving in for the kill, now.

“Looks like we’re going to have to fight them head-on,” Drill noted grimly. “Toad, you still have some rain mortars left?”

“Just one,” Toad reported.

“Better than nothing,” Drill noted. “Dive, can you rig up some mines to create a trap?”

“If ya ask me nicely,” Dive answered gruffly.

"I'll blind them with another flash stopper! Bright chimed in optimistically. "They won't know what hit them!"

“Saturn, can your guys give us some back-up?” Pharaoh asked

“No promises,” Saturn warned. “I don’t know how much of an army I’ll have to come back to once we’re done here,” What was left of Saturn’s brigade was outside, trying to slow the SA’s advance and buy them some time to plan. But when your army consisted of robots like metools, and robot chickens, there was only so much they could offer.

“How about you?” Skull asked the RPD commander. “You have any Special Forces you can call in?” The commander said nothing as he looked out the window, looking as though he was on another world. Skull watched the commander's expression changing to one of utter terror and disbelief.


“Huh?” Bright asked, bewildered.

“You led them straight to us!” the commander spat.

“What are you talking about?” Bright asked, alarmed. “We did nothinig-“

Skull shushed Bright and pointed out a window behind them. The comrades turned and saw what had the commander in a panic. Several SA Joes were advancing towards the palace. With the Cosmic Gladiators and Wily’s Warriors marching front and center.

“So that was your plan…” the commander growled. “Play the hero to lull us into a false sense of security, then strike once you’ve gained our trust!”

"No! It's Mystery Man! He's here!" Bright pleaded, but her words fall on deaf ears.

“Get the governor out of here! And get them out of my sight!” The commander barked. “Back up’s already on its way,”

A group of officers forcefully escorted the governor out of the room. Within seconds, a team of officers had swarmed into the room. The quarters were too close for the team to make use of their regular weapons, so they began drawing their respective melee weapons or assuming martial arts stances. Pharaoh took point with his Sword of Anubis and desperately dispatched officers, but they were coming too hard and too fast to slow them down much. Drill joined in beside Pharaoh and drilled through any officers Pharaoh missed. Bright couldn’t use her flash stopper without affecting her teammates, so she sniped at officers entering the room with her plasma canon. Dive had already KOed the officers closest to him when he saw the Mystery’s illusion outside and threw a dazed officer at several more advancing neo officers charging at him. However, he was pounced by a trio of snarling K-9s from behind, pinning him to the ground. Toadgal rushed to the submarine’s defense with several mui-tai kicks, sending the pooches flying. Skull had cut path through some neo officers with his scythe, and stood at the doorway with his skull barrier on, blocking any more officers from entering. But he could only hold the frenzied RPD back for so long. Saturn flung several rings at a handful of officers rushing him, and slid away from several more trying to tackle him from behind. As he slid away from his captors, he noticed a small device lying on the ground.

“What’s that?” Saturn asked as he scooped up the device. He recognized it as soon as he picked it up: a shutdown remote.

“The governor must’ve dropped it when she was taken out the door,” he thought. However, Saturn’s blood chilled when he realized that the governor was the only one who could use it to shut down the berserk RPD. He frantically slid through the door the governor was rushed out of.

“Where da hell do ya think yer goin’?!” Dive hollered as he smashed two officers’ heads together. Saturn ignored Dive Man and sprinted out an emergency exit with SWAT officers closing in behind him. Just as Saturn ran out the door, he spotted a RPD cruiser peeling off away from the building.

“Wait!” Saturn shouted as he used his time freeze to stop the car dead in its tracks. He then fired a barrage of plasma bullets at the car’s tires and engine. When effect of the freeze wore off, the car had slowed to a dead crawl. A pair of neo officers bolted out of the car, escorted the governor away from the car while another pair towards Saturn, brandishing nightsticks. Saturn slid through them, but also accidentally slid into the governor, knocking her out.

“Whoops,” Saturn apologized. Just the SWAT bots closed on him, Saturn grabbed the governor’s hand and had her shut down the RPD in the area. “Sorry, guys.” Breathing a sigh of relief, Saturn grabbed the governor and carried her back into the palace. He found the Comrades minus Skull in the governor’s office, still in one piece, but looking more battered than they did before.

“…What just happened…?” a puzzled Pharaoh asked.

“The governor shutdown the RPD for us,” Saturn surmised as he sat the governor down in a chair. “It was either us or them,”

“So much for making a last stand together,” Pharaoh mused as he put his sword away. Skull entered the office behind Saturn, looking disappointed.

“I couldn’t find Mystery,” he reported. “He must’ve fled after the RPD was shutdown,”

“I’m up to 255!” Toad announced proudly. Skull smiled at Toad’s body count, but Dive looked less than amused.

“No one’s countin’ anymore,” Dive sneered as he lit up another cigarette, clearly pissed that they were going to have to fight the SA alone. Again.

“Is everyone ready?” Drill asked wearily.

“As ready as we’ll ever be,” Pharaoh answered.


Mystery Man watched from his hiding spot as the Comrades made for his army. He ordered them to slow their advance so that he could enjoy the struggle between the misled RPD and Comrades. And now they were going to have to face his forces, alone.

He could’ve let RPD crush the Comrades like the bugs they were. But where would’ve been the fun in that? Killing them this soon would only end their suffering before it really suffered. It wasn’t enough to conquer them in the field of battle. Any idiot in the AA or 7M could do that. No, they couldn’t be allowed to live, or be allowed to die. He wanted the Comrades to be always afraid, always suffering at his hands. But now, it was time to finish this. They would know fear. They would know defeat.


Night had fallen as the SA marched north along Novgordskaja ulitsa, gunning down hapless humans in their way. They’d just pushed through the last of the Wily bots, and with RPD shutdown, nothing stood in between them and victory. Just as they’d come to the intersection at Novgordskaja and Ulitsa moiseenko, a bright flash of light blinded the entire squad, catching them off-guard. As the Joes staggered about the street blinded, highly concentrated acid rain, poured down over them. At the intersection, two trucks, loaded to the brim with dive mines detonated, taking several weakened Joes in the frontlines with them. After the rain had passed, the Comrades emerged from their hiding places.

“Take ‘em now, Comrades! For Cossack!” Drill shouted as he resurfaced in an alley, firing off several drill bombs before diving underground again. Dive Man was hiding in an apartment building on the third floor and punched through a window to fire a barrage of dive missiles. Toadgal hopped out of a dumpster up a fire escape and started picking off Joes with her double guns. Bright took cover in the apartment building lobby as she fired with her standard plasma cannon at whatever Joes Toad missed. Pharaoh and Skull teleported from the apartment lobby to the roof of the building across the street and started devastating the disoriented troops with Pharaoh beams and dark energy-powered lightning bolts.

While Joes were normally a force to be reckoned with, they were still caught off by guard by the Comrades’ debilitating and precise attacks. A few of the Joes opened fire, but since their night vision was on when Bright’s flash stopper went off, the effect was more potent than usual, and they were hardly hitting anything. Most of them tried to get out of enemy fire by taking cover in the buildings. However, they found themselves being pulled towards a black hole at the other end of the street. As Pharaoh melted a Joe trying to get into Bright’s and Dive’s apartment, he noticed a familiar figure scrambling over a rooftop to the east.

“There’s Mystery! I see him!” Pharaoh announced, ready to fly off in pursuit.

“Let him go,” Skull replied over the com.

“No way-“

“Just do it,” Skull insisted in oily voice. “Just focus on his forces. He can’t occupy this city without an army,”

“Fuck you, Edgar Allen Poe!” Dive snapped over the com as he tossed a dive mine like a grenade. “You had yer chance!”

“Yeah. We can’t risk losing him again, Skull,” Drill agreed as he blasted Joes with a barrage of drill bombs. Skull simply grumbled in frustration. Had they lost faith in him already? “Okay Pharaoh, here’s what I have in mind…” Pharaoh nodded as Drill went over the plan with him. Within seconds, Pharaoh had taken to the air, and Drill burrowed underground.

“I guess he’s taking the Violet thing personally…” Skull commented ruefully, mostly to himself as he fired a dark energy fireball at another Joe.

Pharaoh hovered several feet over the allies, watching his adversary seemingly abandon his troops. No. The SA never retreats when the odds are against them. He was up to something, Pharaoh could feel it. He unleashed a stream of Pharaoh beams at Mystery Man. But the cloaked SA officer was more agile than he looked and tumbled out of the way. Pharaoh took another shot, but an SA Joe took the hit for his leader. Angry, Pharaoh took another shot, but when the smoke cleared, Mystery Man was nowhere to be seen.

“I lost him,” Pharaoh hissed over the com.

“Don’t worry, I’ve got him,” Drill responded. Drill had surfaced near the Tul’skaja ulitsa and watched Mystery Man run towards the river from behind a parked car. Just as Mystery reached the edge of the river, a bridge materialized over the water.

“It’s the real deal this time!” Drill proclaimed triumphantly as he fired a barrage of drill bombs at the bridge. The bridge blew apart, sending Mystery plunging into the frozen waters below with the rest of his troops.

“We got him this time, guys,”


A cloaked figure watched Drill Man send the Joe to his icy doom from the safety of an abandoned warehouse overlooking the river. He couldn’t believe the Comrades would be stupid enough to fall for the same ploy. Twice. Nor could he fathom how they ever could’ve gotten the best of him in the first place.

But the hard part was over now. Drill Man was already tunneling back to his allies, and once the Comrades left, then they could take what was rightfully the theirs. The Cossacks would be the General’s on a plate. Pleased with the turn of events, he turned to leave the room…Only to come face-to-face with Pharaoh Man.

“Thought we’d fall for it twice, huh?” Pharaoh asked smugly, before obliterating the robot in a scorching pharaoh wave.


Drill and Pharaoh found the rest of the Comrades and Saturn along the street amongst too many Joe bodies to count. They were more riddled with bullet holes than when they first left them, but all things considered, it could’ve been worse.

“It went well, huh?” Saturn asked, holding his shoulder where he’d been recently shot several times.

“Yeah,” Drill replied. “Guess he knew his luck was running out,”

“You’re telling me. He was hitting us with the same old illusions again,” Pharaoh chimed in. Skull hissed in frustration.

“I really think you shouldn’t have-“

“No one cares,” Dive Man interjected as he took a drink from a flask. He was getting irritated with his macabre partner. Dive hated dicking around with manipulation and subterfuge crap. He just wanted Mystery dead, no ifs ands, or buts. “It’s over, ‘n that’s all I care ‘bout,”

“Amen,” Toad agreed. “I lost track of how many I killed,” she added, hanging her head in shame.

“I did too,” said Bright, trying to cheer her partner up. “C’mon. Let’s go tell the governor the good news!”


Triumphant, the CC marched (or hobbled) into the Smolny, taking their own time as there was no hurry anymore. Although no one was there to recognize their victory, it still felt as good. They overcame the odds, and managed to protect their homeland. With the RPD down for the count, they walked past the gates as if it were their Citadel, and entered the government palace.

They immediately headed for the governor’s office, to see if she had regained her senses. Once inside, they saw she was awake and active, talking through a wireless headset phone. “Yes, they are here. We’ll be there in a second.” They heard her say before she hung up. This made some of the CC feel uneasy, thinking that perhaps she was about to hand them to the RPD.

“It’s over Governor.” DrillMan stated, trying to get on her good side. “The SA has been defeated.”

“I know! This is one of the greatest days in our town’s history.” She stood up and waked towards them. “The world is trembling in fear before the SA, but we survived! And you are our heroes!” She boasted, lifting her arms and everything, with too much enthusiasm perhaps. If you could ask the CC, they’d immediately tell you she was way out of character.

“But…” BrightBabe interrupted. “We took the SA out. I don’t think everyone will see things your way.” By now, everyone was alert, as they had started doubting the real identity of the woman in front of them.

“Nonsense!” she brushed her observation aside. “Come this way!” she opened a pair of double doors to the side of her office, behind them was a large hall, almost like a ballroom. The CC and Saturn couldn’t believe their eyes… dozens of people, some looked like waiters and most looked like business people, all of them very elegant. And the minute the doors were opened, they all had started cheering and clapping, with decorative confetti flying in all directions.

“This can’t be real…” Pharaoh said, still shocked. All of them were surprised, but DiveMan and SkullMan weren’t gullible. They knew that somehow, MysteryMan had survived and this was all an illusion, a pretty lame one at that. There was no way the people at the Smolny could have prepared such a celebration in such a little time. That and the fact that they were still outlaws, made this whole situation too good to be true. Or… was it?

Just as they were about to make their move, and get a hold of the “impostor” governor, a bearded man emerged from the crowd: Dr. Cossack himself. Without a word, he approached the CC’s leader and shook his hand. “Good work.” He said, with teary eyes, and then proceeded to shake everyone’s hand. Stunned in disbelief, Dive shook his creator’s hand, getting the tangible feeling of human flesh and bone. This was real.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this to someone on that madman’s side, but…” the doctor was now greeting Saturn. “Thank you.”

“Doc, what’s up with all of this?” Drill man was the first to make the question, now everyone was actually starting to believe their own eyes. “Shouldn’t the government be mad at us?”

“Oh no, my boy.” Cossack replied. “On the contrary. Your efforts have not been unnoticed. The Russian government witnessed everything, using surveillance equipment all over town. The president himself has issued an official indult for all Cossack robots. They are not going to accept the Shutdown Code.”

Even MORE shocked than before, the CC were taken off guard by this turn of events. ToadGal was the first to do what was starting to figure on everyone’s mind… she jumped with excitement, glad that it was all over and that they had gained their governments trust.

“Enough talk, Comrades.” The governor interrupted. “Please enjoy this party as a token of our appreciation. And if you need repairs, be sure to tell our technician.” She pointed at a man near the door, wearing greasy overalls.

Most of them still a little doubtful, the CC proceeded into the large ballroom, hearing the crowd go wilder with their appearance. Saturn however, excused himself and took the governor’s offer. He needed repairs. And although it was nothing that prevented him from partying a while, he saw this as the perfect opportunity to get hell out before things got complicated for his Wily-supporting hide.

The rest of the team started socializing with the head honchos of Russian politics, still taken off guard by the whole situation. DiveMan stayed silent, reluctant to fully accept this. Until a waiter came near him and offered him a drink. He took it and tasted it in one sip. “Holy… vodka!” as he felt a slight burning sensation down his throat, it hit him. This was all for real.

SkullMan was leaned on a column, resting and meditating. To him, the situation still seemed odd. But his deep thought was interrupted by ToadGal, who dragged him into the crowd. Their teammates had already dispersed, each of them answering the multiple questions of different groups of people interested in the details of their victory over the Scissor Army.

Even Cossack, who now had his hand on DrillMan’s shoulder, was having a good time. Perhaps they would eventually have to stop him from drinking all the vodka.

ToadGal and SkullMan were suddenly boarded by a young man with a camera and a PDA to take noted. “Excuse me, would you grant me an interview?” the man asked politely. “I’m from Neva News.”

“Sure thing!” ToadGal quickly greed.

“Let’s get away from the noise then, I want to hear you clearly.” The reporter guided them outside the ballroom and into the lobby of the Smolny.

But as they were about to begin, the front doors were slammed open, and a familiar figure entered the premises. It was none other than BlizzardMan who had barged in, panting and obviously injured. “Zapper!” the Russian robot master shouted. “I finally found you! Are you OK?” he kneeled on the ground before her before he could reach her.

“Regulus!” ToadGal couldn’t understand what was going on. “What happened to you?” she kneeled next to him, trying to check on his wounds.

“I-I tried so hard to find you, but the SA got the best of me.” He admitted, and started coughing shortly afterwards. He was obviously in no condition to keep going.

“Zym, go call the technician! Reg needs urgent repairs!” the female robot master pleaded.

Quickly, SkullMan reacted and turned around, but an arm grabbed his shoulder. It was the reporter. “It’s now or never, ‘comrade’. Prove your worth to General Cutman.” The expression on the reporter had changed to a more sinister one, with a sadistic smirk across his face. But before Skull could react in any way, the man vanished into thin air while Toad wasn’t looking.

He didn’t know how, but he could tell that Mystery was making his illusions more real, even physical. The bastard was still around, somewhere. And right now, his best option was to play along and take it one step at a time.

He decided to kneel by the side of BlizzardMan as well. “Let’s take him to the repair bay together.” He proposed ToadGal, who agreed it was a much better idea.

Both of them were carrying the injured Blizzard, but Skull couldn’t understand why it weighted so much if it was just an illusion. “What about the reporter? Where is he?” she asked concerned.

“Never mind him, he probably got scared…”


Dive Man looked thoughtful for a moment as he listened in on Cossack’s discussion with Drill. Even though everything looked hunkey-dorey, nothing was adding up. He kept piling down vodka, hoping it’d help him think of a way out of this mess. It usually did. Suddenly, it hit Dive Man like a ton of bricks. Grinning from ear-to-ear, he strolled over to Cossack, and amiably put his hand on his shoulder. He knew the Comrades weren’t gonna like him for this, but he had no choice.

“So…?” Dive began. “We single-handedly beat the piss outta the SA, restored yer honor, AND stuck it to the Shutdown Act? Not bad in a day’s work, eh?”

“A crude, but succint summation," Cossack concurred, beaming with pride. “What you’ve done today is nothing short of a miracle,”

“Really?” Dive said, intrigued. “Like how I saved those people on the Aleksandra?”

“Precisely,” Cossack answered. Dive smiled, shaking his head, chuckling.

“I didn’t save no one on the Aleksandra,” Dive confessed. “I blew ‘em up with the bridge,” Cossack’s smile faded, as did the rest of his Comrades. Drill looked at his friend, disbelieving. Dive couldn’t be serious. He had to be joking. And if he was joking, it wasn’t funny.

“You’re not serious…” Bright denied. Dive simply shook his head, unashamed.

“The hell I’m not,” Dive replied indifferently. “I killed ‘em, n’ I ain’t the least bit sorry,” Cossack and the Comrades remained dead silent. Dive Man had seemed a lot more irritable ever since the war started, with Ring disappearing, the SA devastating the civilized world, and robots being robbed of their free will. But how could Dive Man flat out kill innocent civilians? Those people needed their help. Dive said it himself!

“How could you…?“ Bright asked disbelieving. Dive Man ignored her and simply held out his hand to Cossack, still smiling. “Hi, I’m Dive Man. I’m a cold-blooded murderer. Who are you?” Cossack remained silent, mortified at Dive Man’s confession. Dive growled in exasperation.

“Give it a rest Mystery,” Dive snarled. “Ya were doin' good at first, I’ll give ya that. But this...? Now yer trin' too hard.” Glaring at Dive Man, Cossack raised his arms, and the governor and the rest of the guests disappeared one by one. Dive Man smiled his blade smile as the visage of Cossack faded away revealing Mystery Man.

Zapper was pissed. Never had she been this angry. This bastard just had to do it. He used her. Played on her emotions.

Now he’s dead.

She charged at him. All her psychotic energy that has been building up is finally being released. Mystery, meet Psycho Zapper.

A little known fact is that any given time Zapper has at least twenty weapons on her. And boy, was all of them gonna come out right now. She whipped out her flash grenades and set them off, blinding Mystery. With that she sets off her machine gun, set to shoot the poor bastard.

“Whaa…? When did YOU get this powerful?” he coughed, his eye sight returning. But she was gone. Where did she go?

Zapper had jumped in the air, this time whipping out her katana. Unlike Dragonball Z, she ain’t gonna call out her attack. She came down, aiming for Mystery’s head.

The katana met the Robot Master’s eye, for he had looked up just in time to see the sight. He started yelling in pain. Zapper took the moment to pierce him through the heart, or at least where the heart would be.

To cap it all off, she attached a grenade to his chest. Then she kicked the Robot as hard as she could so the blast would not affect the team.

“…Zapper…? A…are you okay?” a frightened Jet inquired. Zapper turned to her Comrade and smiled.

“Uh…does anyone know how many that was?” And she proceeded to laugh.

The Comrades stared at her with amazement. Not even Zymeth expected that. Then one by one they joined in on the laughter. Pharaoh didn’t join in, and simply glared at Dive Man.

“Yeah, how many was that, Dive?” Pharaoh accused. The rest of the Comrades except Toad and Drill stopped laughing and turned their gazes at Dive Man. Dive Man simply held his hands up and smiled.

“What…? You honestly?” Dive asked, shocked. “C’mon, what am I, Zymeth? Don’t be stupid,” The rest of the team didn’t look moved. Dive Man however, was looking concerned that his teammates suspected him of murder. “Guys, it was the best bluff I could think o’ off the top o’ my head. Besides, why would I kill people after I was talkin’ ‘bout savin’ ‘em early on?” The comrades still had their inquisitive gazes fixed on Dive Man. Either he was telling the truth, or he was sticking to his story. But they were too tired to press the issue any further. Saying nothing, they set off on their way to the Citadel, leaving the RPD to clean up the mess. Inwardly, Dive Man chuckled, thinking that he got off the hook.


Saturn had slipped off into the alley behind the Smolny while the Comrades were interrogating Dive Man. He wanted to get out of there before Dive Man got his hands on him. The submarine probably knew he wasn’t telling the Comrades everything before the battle even started. And knowing Dive, he probably wouldn’t ask for the truth as much beat it out of him.

Still, he had to give Dive credit for exposing Mystery’s hoax. Saturn didn’t know if he was telling the truth, but he didn’t care. The important thing was, it pulled the rug out from under Mystery’s feet. And he sure as hell glad he wasn’t Mystery when Toad got her hands on him.

But the important thing was he played a crucial part in the SA’s destruction in St. Petersburg. That ought to make Wily happy, even though he last an entire brigade to pull it off. But it could’ve been A LOT worse all things considered. He hoped the rest of his allies had as much luck as he had.


Mystery barley functioned. He had used the upgrade. He studied his opponents. He was prepared for this fight. Then this smart ass Submarine ruins it all with his…show. And to make it worse he got his ass handed to him by a lower level threat.

His Joes had brought him back to the base. He needed repairs. He wanted revenge. Unfortunately for him, that is not what he’d be getting.

“So…you think you can return after another failure. Failure is not excepted in my army. You know the consequences.

I want to hear you scream.”




Blyka's Door
E-Can Factory
MM BN Chrono X
MM PC Website
Protodude's RM Corner
Reploid Research Lavatory
RM AMV Station
RM EXE Online
RM:Perfect Memories
Sprites INC