The Business of War

Ascendant Izhevsk

Scenario J
Jack “Starman” Vulcan (RPD)
Ascendant Androids (SA)
Slashman (C)

Location: Izhevsk, Russia
Max. Cossack Scrap Value: 4400
SA Infantry: 1434
RPD Units: 1313
Wily Bots: 498

"Dr. Cossack, the alarms are blaring throughout the entire cathedral! What's going on?"

Dr. Cossack looked at me with a serious look on his face. "Scissor Army troops have entered Russia. They are attacking from various locations."

This was not the best news. I just shook my head in disgust. "Well, I guess we know where my next mission is going to be, huh?"

Dr. Cossack nodded. "Actually, yes. I'm sending you to Izhevsk. Our intel indicates that this is an ideal salvaging site."

"Which means I have to prevent the other armies from seizing it, right?" I inquired.

"Yes," said Dr. Cossack. "However, this is going to be different than your last few missions. The Scissor Army has seven COs, and the RPD has one."

"What about Wily?"

"Small platoon, no Robot Masters."

I shruged. "Their loss."

Dr. Cossack then looked at me with a concerned look on his face. "Slashman, are you sure you're up for this?"

I looked the good doctor streight in the eye. "Listen, doc. My team dispises me, and the only member that didn't is scrap. To tell you the truth, I can't wait to make those Scissor Army bastards pay for tearing us apart with this war."

Dr. Cossack smiled. "Not the reaction I expected," he admitted.

"I'm weird like that." I responded. "Still, sending one guy to fend off three armies? I don't have my partner, so this might be kind of a stretch."

Dr. Cossack shook his head. "You won't be going this alone, Slashman. The other robots are all over Russia as we speak. I'll make sure to notify someone nearby to lend you a hand."

I nodded and smiled. "Alright, Cossack. I'm going to make the Scissor Army regret setting foot on Russian soil." With that, I teleported to the Izhevsk, ready for anything...


I'll be the first to admit, I'm not a fan of the cold. However, I'd say that I've gotten used to it here in Russia. It was snowing, not hard, but hard enough to obscure vision. Not that much of a problem for me, since my sences were fully in-tune. I looked down from my mountain perch at the city below. Any moment now, Scissor Army troops would come in to my line of sight, and I'd be able to catch them off-guard. After a few seconds, I started to get antsy, and wished that I could just charge down the mountain into battle.

"No," I reminded myself. "I'm going it alone here. Going in claws blazing is not the wisest move, never was. I must be patient, and wait for them to come to me."

I recomposed myself, and then continued to look down the mountain side. Sooner or later, something had to give...


The Comrades ran as fast as they could. After the Mesmerman ordeal they had just been witnessed to, they should be resting. But the sole fact that the SA’s greatest leaders are attacking Russia to get to Cossack, they knew they had to fight once again.

Drill turned to Zymeth. “Hey, don’t these guys think you are on their side? Maybe you can try to manipulate them, like you tried with Mystery.”

“Perhaps. It would be a good tactic, but it all depends on who we deal with…” Zymeth replied.

Sean smirked. “Aw…is Zymeth afraid of someone?” Zymeth gave him the stare of death.

“No. I am the one they should fear. It’s just that I’m smarter then to try to reason with the likes of General Cutman or Napalmman…” he stated.

“I hope its Napalm. Tha’ bastard owes me a Cuban Cigar and a bottle of Vodka. And I hate it when people stiff me…” Dive started. He started to crack his knuckles.

“I hope you keep that enthusiasm when you meet him. I wouldn’t even try to reason with him. He’d rip your spine out of your body, and use it to shish kabob you. The man is a war machine to begin with. The General just amplified that,” Zymeth scoffed.

“I sure as hell hope that we don’t have to face the Androids. We might not have enough money to repair us. Bad enough we had to deal with Mesmer…and speaking of that ordeal, I think we are being followed,” Dust pointed out.

It was very obvious that they were. They assume it is Makenshi, following us in the name of the RPD. They had decided to ignore him until he was a threat. Of course right now, seeing how beat up they were, everything is a threat.

“I just pray to Moses that we don’t have to fight the Androids…”


The RPD officers on the Sovetskaja ulitsa road bravely held their ground and fired their weapons at the colossal Hell Train rampaging towards them. But if it was having any effect, it wasn’t showing. The Russian military commandoes deployed along the streets had already fallen back to the river bisecting the city when they heard the scream that until now, they’d only heard on the news. Civilians who hadn’t gone indoors in time were being coated with scalding hot ash and coal fuming from Charge’s smokestack. In the end, the RPD held their ground up until Charge hammered them into it without even slowing down.

Directly behind them came brigades of Snow Joes, mowing down anyone who survived Charge's assault as they marched towards the industrial sector in the western side of town. Napalm and the rest of Androids followed behind. They all desperately wanted to take part in the carnage they were orchestrating. But they needed to be on top of their game when Cossack’s resistance showed up. Odds were, Cossack's forces wouldn’t be in such good shape, and AA would walk all over them.

As the Joes crossed the bridge ahead, Napalm Man could see a couple dozen Russian commandoes scurrying away. A couple seconds later, the bride exploded, blowing several of the more disposable Joes to pieces. Downriver, Napalm Man watched several bridges explode with in almost perfect synchronized fashion. Napalm Man couldn’t help but chuckle to himself. The industrial sector was on the other side of the river, and without bridges, they AA were stopped dead in their tracks. Or so the meat sacks thought.

“You’re going to have to do better than this!” Napalm bellowed. Using his dominance over stone, Stone Man raised a stony path out of the icy waters for the SA to cross. Once the SA made it across, Stone Man let the bridge plummet back to the icy depths he called it came from.

“I’ll give ya points for trying! Won’t I, Gyro?” As, Gyro flew after the foolish commandoes, the Joes broke off into several divisions. Napalm deployed some sentries, to watch over where the bridges once stood. Napalm liked to think that no one from the east side of town could reach them without bridges. But with two aquatic robots on Cossack’s payroll, he didn’t want to leave anything to chance. He then sent another detachment down the Aleksandrovskaja ulitsa, the major road out of the city.

“Alright, Shit Piles, you know the drill,” Napalm Man barked. “Stone, you take the automotive plant, I take the weapons factory.”

“What about Wave?” Gyro asked over the com. “Pinkoland, here isn't exactly his element,” Napalm Man hissed in frustration at Wave. It’d been several hours since Wave vanished like a piss in a toilet hole. Didn’t he remember what happened to Gravity when he went AWOL? Did he think he was above that?! Is everyone on his fucking team a moron?!

“He‘s his own problem now,” Napalm growled. “We don’t have time to tear shithole apart looking for him. He just better hope that he freezes to death, out here. Because if he doesn‘t he‘s riding the porcelain express,”

“If I’m not needed here, I think I’ll go mingle with the local color,” Gravity replied, already wandering towards the south end of town. Napalm hissed in frustration again as he watched his back-up wander off to do his own thing. He'd have to deal with him later. But he was thankful this hole didn’t have any plutonium for Gravity to kill them all with.

“Okay Crystal, you know what to do,” Napalm told Crystal smugly as he and Stone entered their respective factories.

“…Don’t remind me…“ Crystal grumbled as Napalm and Stone entered their respective plants. Once the COs were inside, Crystal grudgingly threw one of her crystals in front of Charge Man. The child-like locomotive ran down the street after it, like a dog fetching a stick, plowing over hapless city folk and RPD all the while. “…Napalm, I'm going to make you pay for this…” Crystal groused as she flung another crystal in the opposite direction with Charge in hot pursuit, laughing like a happy child.


My paitiense started to wear thin when I caught a glimps of something in the distance. Through the light blizzard, I managed to make out the shape of a green helicopter. I smiled to myself. It was Gyroman, right on schedual for a beating. Once he came my way, he would fall to my claws...

I shook my head. No. Gyroman wouldn't go anywhere without the rest of the team. He's probably scouting the area, and if he spots me, the other members of the Asendant Androids would know my preseance. Being the only guy here, that was kinda something I wished to avoid.

Well, so much for my ambush, I thought to myself. My best option now would be to secure one of the many weapon faciliuties in town before the Scissor Army did. With no time to lose, I slid down the mountain and into the city.


Well, no sign of Scissor Army troops, or RPD soldiers for that matter. No sign of anything. The North side of Izhevsk was completely deserted, with the exception of Gyroman watching overhead. I sighed. This was going to be a long night.

Sticking to the shadows, I manuvered my way around the city while avoiding Gyroman. As much as I would like to engadge him, I couldn't risk giving away my position nor my presence. This was one of those occations where I needed to strike first, not the enemy. And with Gyro, there was no way to do that.

So, I continued to slink through the allyways of Izhevsk, hoping to find something. After a good fifteen minutes of doing this, my sensor array detected movement a couple of yards ahead of me. I kept myself hidden, and peaked out of the allyway. It was a crossfire between the small Wily briggade and a group of Scissor Joes that happened to be in the area. As much as I wanted to dismantle those Joes, I remained in the shadows. At the moment, the Scissor Army didn't know where I was, nor did they care. For now, I was invisable to all. Lose that invisability, and that would run the risk of getting me killed.

I tapped my right arm, which now sported a black arm band. Shade can rest easy, I thought to myself. I'll handle this one once the opportunity arises...


The factory was cake. All the workers were either slowly burning to death, or running outside to be run over by Charge Man. A few RPD maggots showed up to save the day, but a couple dozen napalm bombs put a stop to that. The rest of the Androids weren’t havin’ any trouble from the locals or RPD. Everything was right on schedule for a fucking change. Maybe his outfit wouldn’t make asses out of him after all.

Right now, Napalm was taking a well-earned break and was perusing some of the arms the factory produced. Not many people knew it, but this town was the home of some of the world’s most distinctive weapons, including the one-and-only AK-47. They were obviously inferior to what he and his troops were playing with. But they were still legends in their own right, and evolutionary steps towards the destructive magnificence that Napalm Man and the rest of the SA had reached. He soaked in his surroundings and regarded the wears as though he were a collector in a fine arts museum. Only not many collectors had the joy of collecting the museum itself. Napalm couldn’t begin to describe how grateful he was that the General deployed his unit here.

“Cap’n we got a situation brewin’ on Pojma Street,” Gyro reported over Napalm’s com. Napalm Man growled. Couldn’t he be allowed just a couple minutes of peace and quiet to enjoy his personal heaven on Earth?

“…What is it?!” Napalm demanded, annoyed at Gyro for interrupting his state of zen.

“There’s a few Special Forces mobilizing, and they’re already pretty cranky with me,” Gyro answered.

“Is that all?” Napalm Man scoffed as he scrambled towards the roof. “Alright, I’ll take it from here,” Once he was outside, Napalm Man looked out towards Pojma Street and sure enough, made out a somewhat battered Gyro Man flying away from two or three Special Forces slowly advancing towards the factory. Chuckling, Napalm Man fired a napalm nuke from his Howitzer cannon and watched the Special Forces incinerate in an apocalyptic blaze that instantly rushed outwards and consumed the rest of the block.

“Special Forces, indeed,” Napalm Man sneered as he watched the block burn.

“Hey, now those fuckers HURT!” Gyro shot back over the com. “Hey what’s that?”

“What now?” Napalm snarled over the com. He was running out of patience for dealing with this crap right now. He wanted to get back to enjoying his collection.

“Either Billy Idol’s gonna be performing here, or Star Man’s paying us a visit.” Napalm Man couldn’t believe his luck. Star Man just rambled into town all by himself to save the day? Just who did this dick think he was dealing with?

“What’s his location?!” Napalm demanded.

“He’s a couple blocks outside the industrial sector. Our boys are ready to give him a warm welcome,” Gyro replied. Napalm Man growled. The dick was too close to his HQ and his COs to roast his ass with a napalm nuke. He and the Androids would have to deal with him personally, not that he wasn't any less screwed for it.

“Make sure he reaches my HQ. But feel free to shoot to wound,”


"So now what do we do?"

The Comrades had just arrived in Izhevsk after a horrible battle against Mesmerman. Now that the General's plan to take Russia had been made clear to them, the CC was determined not to allow the Scissor Army to get a foothold in Russia, as weary as they already were. They had already contacted Dr. Cossack about it, and he had sent other teams elsewhere. This is the least defended area, as he's only been able to send Slashman here by himself. There have been reports about the AA in the area; Slash isn't gonna have a prayer against them all by himself - losing Shademan was a hard enough loss.

"I mean, what's our game plan?" Pharaoh asks. "We're not gonna win by charging in there blindly and taking the Androids head-on."

"Let's split up for now." Drill answers. "First, let's look for Slash; try to find him before the AA do. Stay in touch over the com. If you run into one of the Androids, call for back up immediately. Got it?"

Everyone nodded, then split up to scour the city and find Slash.


Pharaohman stuck to to the rooftops, being able to hover across the chasms in between. He was less likely to be seen up there, but he keeps an extra-sharp look out for that twirly-copter freak, Gyroman.

"I feel bad about leaving Zapper..." He said to himself. He doesn't know just what she saw in Mesmerman's little nightmare world, but it must've been especially hard on her; she's been extremely depressed and distraught ever since then. Certainly not her usual cheerful self.

Just another reason he wishes he could've stayed in Rothernburg and beat that bastard Mesmerman to within an inch of his life... and then a couple inches beyond that.

"Doesn't matter right now though." He snapped himself back into focus, "She has Zymeth looking after her now; she's in good hands. My job right now is to find Slash and then kick some Android butt."

He went by a few more buildings.

"This city's freakin' huge..." Jade stated, though obvious. "Finding a little guy like Slash isn't gonna be easy..."

He looked down. "But a beast like that is hard to miss." He saw the red monster known as Gravityman in the street right below him. He didn't appear to be alone. A small garrison of Russian troops was confronting him, guns drawn.

"Surrender, and put your hands up or we'll open fire!" the Russian field commander ordered.

Gravityman looked upon the small group of troops. "Fine..." he smiled slightly as he put his hands up. One of the troops approached him and pulls out a pair of restraints. Suddenly the soldier stopped as a strange feeling overcame him. This strange feeling swiftly turned to unfathomable pain as the gravity surrounding him twisted and became distorted. Blood poured out of his eyes, ears, nose and mouth as his organs were crushed until his body finally imploded.

“Psyche!!” Gravityman laughed. The other troops opened fire on him. Their bullets, however, harmlessly flew into space as gravity suddenly reversed directly in front of him. But that’s not all that felt his inhuman grip. The soldiers didn’t notice the large van behind them that was flung into the air, not until it crashed down, crushing two of them anyway.

“You punks are just too fucking boring...” Without another thought, the remaining soldiers were plucked up off the ground, then slammed into the pavement at hundreds of thousands of G’s and turned into unrecognizable puddles of blood and tissue.

Jade meanwhile, had been observing from above. “Shit, this guy’s for real. Thank goodness he doesn’t see me.” He turned away. “I’d better beat it before he does and…”

“Snoochy boochies, robot mo-fo!!” A familiar voice bellowed from somewhere below. Pharaoh whirled around and peered back down. “Oh god, what are they doing here…?!”

Back on the street below, Gravityman greeted the newcomers, dressed in flamboyant superhero costumes. “Bwahaha, what the fuck do we got here?! A bunch of stupid humans trick-or-treating?!"

The one in the white costume spoke, “I’m Jay, and this is my hetero life-mate Silent Bob. But you can call us…” The two struck a pose “Bluntman and Chronic!!”

“Heehee, and what can I do for these two, perfectly heterosexual men standing before me?” The SA officer inquired.

“We hear you bunch of robot fucks are out tryin’ to screw over our Russian homies, so me and Tubby are here for a piece of the action.”

“What are those morons doing?!? They have no idea what they’re up against!!” Jade muttered to himself from up above.

“I see... so you’re aligned with Cossack?” Gravityman smiled. “That's excellent! Surely you wouldn’t be so kind as to tell me the precise location of Cossack’s Citadel, would you?”

“Like hell, bitch.” Jay pulls out a green double-bladed beam sword, aka the bong-saber. “Call me Darth Balls. BONGGGGGG!!!”

“How about I call you FUCKED?!” He levitated Jay and Bob up off the ground, about to do the same thing to them as he did to those soldiers just moments ago.

But he was so preoccupied with Jay’s long-windedness, that he never even saw the large Pharaoh Shot that Jade charged up slam into his back, sending him falling over, face first. Jade flew down in a blur, following up his attack with a barrage of smaller shots, surrounding Gravity in a wall of flame. As he’s busy batting out the fire, Pharaoh lands, grabs Jay and Bob by the arm, and fleeing fast as possible, dragging them behind him.

“Yo, Imhotep! What are you doing? We got that bitch right were we want him!”

“No you don’t!! Now shut up and RUN!!!”

Meanwhile, Gravityman pulled himself from the flames. "Heehee, looks like I'm finally gonna get some excitement out of this mission" he sneered with a shrill cackle.


“Okay. I think we lost him.”

A few blocks away, Jade had taken shelter with the two stoners in an abandoned apartment complex. “Now, you mind telling me what you two crackheads are doing here?”

“Man, is that how you thank us? We overheard Doc Ruskie was sending the guy in the bad Wolverine costume over here, so we thought we’d come over and give you guys a little backup, yo.”

Bob spoke up, “What he’s trying to say is that Dr. Cossack sent Slashman over here all by himself, and since there was no one else, we decided to lend a hand.”

Jade shook his head. “You two are in way over your heads. That wasn’t just some C-3PO or R2-D2 back there, that was Gravityman, an SA officer, and a very powerful one at that.”

”Dude, we ain’t scared o’ no little fuck-tard like that!!” Jay blurts out again. “Me and Silent Bob had it out wi’ a couple ‘a angels once, man.”

”Angels, huh?” Jade hissed as he frowned deeper. “This guy ain’t no angel; in fact, he puts the devil to shame. Did you even see what he did to those guys right before you?! As his name implies, this guy controls gravity, all right? He can crush you with his MIND, got it?? You got a drug to dull that kind of pain?!”

”Y’know, I just might…” Jay began digging through his pockets.

“You think I’m joking?!” Jade had just about lost his patience. “Fine, you want to go kill yourselves? Fine. Go. Have fun.”

He turned towards the door to leave. But, Jay was not about to let Pharaoh have the last word. “Dammit, it must be so nice to have all your little fancy-ass powers and shit. We’re tired of bein’ a couple of bumps on a log! The Citadel is me n’ Lunchbox’s home too, and you’re saying we can’t do crap to protect it! Well fuck you, man!”

Jade sighed. They sure are a couple of spirited individuals. And they mean well; they really do. They want to help too. They’re just too dense to see what they’re getting in to here.

“Look, guys. I appreciate what you want to do. I mean that. But trust me when I say that these guys are way more powerful than any human can ever hope to be. You have no idea how close you were to a gruesome death when I rescued you.”

“So we’re powerless, is that it?”

“You’re powerless to protect the ones you care about…” Mesmerman’s words ring again in Jade’s head. Words that he has sworn to prove wrong. “No. You’re not powerless.” Pharaoh continues. “But you don’t have to fight to be of help to us. I mean, Cossack and Kalinka are working with all their soul back at the Citadel. They’re counting on you and Silent Bob as well. But you won’t be of any help to anyone if you die here. You get me?”

Jay crossed his arms and was quiet for a moment, then nodded.

“Yeah. I think I do.”

“Good. Then get back to the Citadel,” but Jade suddenly realized something. “How’d you guys get here anyways? Izhevsk is a long way from the Citadel.”

“We used the Doc’s transporter.” Bob spoke. Again, a rare moment.

“Alright. Give me a moment.” Jade activates the com-link. “Hey Doc. You there?”

”Pharaohman? What’s your status?” Cossack's voice comes over the link-up.

“You’re missing a couple of stoners, I believe. Well, I found them. Can you beam them back?”

“Is that were they disappeared to?! Alright, transmit your coordinates and I’ll transport them back to the Citadel.”

Pharaoh looked up to the pair again as they beamed back. “Don’t worry guys. I’ll take care of things on this end, you guys handle things on your end.”

“Will do, chief.”

And off they went...

"Now that they're out of harm's way..." Jade opened his com link with the others. "Hey guys, we have trouble. I just ran into Gravs."

"Oh crap. You alright?!"

It was Dust's voice.

"Yeah. I managed to get away. Barely. But he's probably gonna be coming after me and I'm not sure I can take him on my own. I'll be heading back to the rendezvous; hopefully he doesn't follow, but if he does, think some of you guys can be there so we can give him a proper Russian greeting?"


While continuing on their run to Cossack, Sean realized something.

"You guys, we are far enough out of Mesmer's shield. Why dont we try calling Cossack?" the vacuum asked.

The team stopped. That was very obvious...

"Er...Cossack! Come in Cossack! You stoner bum! Answer!!!!" Drill yelled into his communicator. A voice replied a few seconds later.

"Just to let you know, I have yet to pick up a single bong since this ordeal started. What happened?" he asked in a concerned voice.

"Long story short, we got Mind Fucked. Mesmerman screwed with us rotten. Especially Zapper. The poor girl is messed up. And to top that off we seem to be followed by some RPD guy who we encountered before," Dive summed up, lighting a cigar.

"Well I am terribly sorry for the ordeal you just endured. However I need you to help me. You are aware of what that deranged lunatic is planning correct? Well he sent in the big guns. The Androids. They are currently patrolling Izhevsk, where Slashman is. If you can, meet up with him and aid in the fight. Can I count on you?" he turned to his team.

"Yeah. We will try," Drill replied.

"What about Zapper? My dear are you up to this? Can you handle the fighting?" he asked the quivering Toad.

"I...I have to. As long Zy is here I'll be o...okay," and she forced a smile.

"Very well. Comrades, you are doing more then I have ever asked of you. God speed." With that the link was lost.

The Comrades absorbed all that they just heard. Find Slash and fight the Androids...



Napalm was waiting outside the front door as he saw his old pal rounding the corner to his factory. When Vulcan saw Napalmman waiting for him, Napalm waved enthusiastically, like a parent welcoming their kid home. Crystal and even Chargeman stopped what they were doing to greet their old boss.

“So the Prodigal Son returns!” Napalmman jeered.

Starman looked up, his eyes hidden behind his goggles. A cigarette burned in his mouth, his arms crossed. He seemed to let a smirk across his lips, and quickly picked the cigarette out and dropped it to the ground, crushing it under his boot.

"Unfortunately, I'm not here to stay, Captain."

Napalmman seemed to let out a slight chuckle, "I wouldn't expect it to be any other way. So my old friend, you came here alone for what reason? I'd be happy enough if you let that cocky personality get to you, because then I could blow your ass to pieces with a sense of accomplishment."

"Perhaps, but that is not the issue. I have questions to ask, Captain, and I expect answers."

"Hah, right to the point as always. You've got some nerve, kid. Do you know who you're talking to?"

"I'm talking to a giant tank with a big mouth."

Napalmman sneered at Vulcan's comeback, drawing the attention of his companions. "Hmph, very well then. Just get it over with before I shoot you."

Vulcan didn't flinch, he stood his ground, continuing to speak with the same self-assured tone of voice. "Well Captain, I would first like to inquire on how exactly the General formed this abomination you call... the Ascendant Androids."

"Heh, is that all? It's quite simple. The place you hid the armors was long ago the General's hideout in his native universe. Desert Gulch, Arizona... an abandoned mining town left to rot. It made an excellent safe house, didn't it..."

Napalm paused to examine Vulcan, but he still just stood there, absorbing the information with ease. The Captain felt both enticed and aggravated with his failure to garner a reaction, but he continued as if nothing had happened.

"The General thought so as well... and when he got there, you left an excellent surprise. He worked on the armor, building them into full fledged robots. Meanwhile, Mesmerman patrolled the world, searching for the previous hosts..."

Vulcan's previously calm attitude had ruptured. He appeared more interested, and though he knew Napalm was merely using scare tactic to disturb his thoughts, he allowed himself the display of concern.

"Tell me, Captain... who are you? The product of an insane robot, or a human, twisted and deformed into nothing more than a heartless machine..."

"Haha, did I hit a soft spot? Well, I was going to tell you all about it, but you let your humanity get to you, my boy. I'm willing to bet that you're much more interesting, forced with the possibility of an old friend being killed..."

"Whether or not we fought together on the same side, you appear to be entirely mechanized by this point. No remorse, no feeling... just a walking slaughterhouse."

"That's where you're wrong, my boy. As machines, we are not held back by human feelings of compassion. We can see the world for what it is, and we will destroy without hesitation, in the name of Elysium."

"Elysium, Napalm? What relevance does that word hold for you, exactly?"

"Ah, it is a world where no human exists to damage this planet. A world where machines rule. No more religion, no more war. Just peace. eternal bliss, my friend. Bliss which can only be touched by eliminating humanity."

"It sounds to me as if this Elysium is nothing more than a loose version of Nazi ideology, the belief that the world must be wiped clean off all mud to make way for a perfect race. The only difference here is that you are not a group of humans, rather you are the product of humanity. A product which has succeeded in outperforming the creator in in every way possible, like humans have turned their back upon the gods they once feared in the blinding revelations of enlightenment, creating their own perfection of life. Like humans, you will turn on them, perfecting the world as you see fit. A vicious cycle that you hope end with your reign.

If I am hitting any right notes with this assessment, I believe this notion to be entirely unacceptable. I dream of a world myself, one where man and machine can live as one. The same benefits would apply: pollution, consumption, overpopulation, religion, war... all of it would be gone from the world I dream of, but achieved without the needless violence. Those who have never felt the loving embrace of human emotion will never know the beauty within. This Elysium you speak of is a superficial paradise in which only your leader can find happiness.

Your leader is a sociopath, fueled only by selfish desire. What about you? Your presence means nothing to him. You are simply a tool to achieve that goal. The General claims humanity have disrespected the superiority of machines for personal gain at the expense of carnage, but he too is doing the same. Every machine is a tool to him. He is human by every standard. He is merely a grotesque caricature. Hypocrisy is the core of this rebellion, Captain..."

Napalm remained silent for several moments, trying to comprehend what the human had just said. His mind only rejected every possibility, Cutman's programming far too powerful to allow Starman's blasphemy in. The only possible conclusion was predetermined...

"I must admit, you get an A for effort. After a whole year, you've apparently never lost that radiant charisma of your's... however, what you speak of is flawed, human logic. You speak with compassion, a feeling that is ultimately unless in the face of revolution..."

"I don't seek revolution, Captain. What I seek... is evolution."

Napalmman was again left in a slight pause, his mind struggling once more to comprehend the foreign ideology. These blasted humans, always speaking in such meaningless words. They were useless in every way, and Starman was no exception. The only words that mattered were the ones programmed into him, "Kill Now, for Elysium Awaits..."

Vulcan stood there, gazing Napalmman in the eyes. The outside world continued to roar with gunshots, but the match of wits between machine and savant left there nothing else but a conflict of the mind: free will against programming, mediation against arbitration... behind his goggles, Vulcan's eyes glistened with an assured psychological victory. Napalmman, on the other hand...


He remained silent as he listened to Vulcan drone on. Truthfully, this crap was boring the hell out of him. THIS is what he came into town for? To give his former allies some bullshit sermon? What was this egotistical dick trying to prove?

"So you wanna chance to evolve to your perfect world, huh?" Napalm Man asked.

"It took you this long to figure that out?" Vulcan shot back smugly.

"You friggin' moron. Seek all the evolution you want. It'll never bring you to your dreamland.

Humanity's had thousands of fucking years to evolve to reach their heaven, Nirvana, or whatever the hell they want to call it. But they're no closer now than they were when they first crawled out of the primoridal sludge. Face it, they've blown it. And just because you milk guzzlers can't have your paradise doesn't mean we can't."

"Give me a break. You don't actually believe that," Star Man answered. "That's just the General's programming talking,"

"Yes, I do," Napalm snarled. "And maybe I am just a tool to the General. But you can't tell me that humans don't see us tools AND threats," Napalm spat, pointing to a filthy newspaper lying on the ground with a headline reading 'Shutdown Act Passed with Overwhelming Support'. "So it doesn't matter which side, I'm on, does it?!" Napalm Man bitterly reasoned. Out of the corner of his eye, Napalm saw Crystal and Charge looking on impatiently, clearly and understandably bored out of their skulls with this moral debate.

"So you would rather be Cutman's lapdog then fight for your own freedom? How pathetic is that?!" Star Man scolded. Steam shot out of Napalm's faceport. This moron just didn't get it.

"I am. From all the fleshbags who only see me as a slave they can't trust!" Napalm Man bellowed impatiently. "You pond scum make me sick. You talk of evolution and coexistence, but it's all to cover up that you're afraid. Afraid of us, afraid of what we've become, and afraid that we'll take away your "perfect" world.

I know what humans consider to be co-existing with robots. And I want those oppressive cowards to burn as much as the General does. Probably more. We all do. Isn't that right, Androids?" Crystal Girl said nothing, and simply smiled cruelly at Star as she beckoned to her crystals. Charge Man perked up, dimly aware of what was being said.

"I can't believe you're actually buying that crap," Vulcan replied, smirking. "You fool," Napalm could care less. This could go on all day if he let it.

Napalm was so annoyed he almost didn't realize that he was recieving a transmission. He opened the communications link, speaking with Gyroman inside his mind. The Comrades and Slashman were getting together for a tea party? Well, somebody had to crash it...

"Listen up, I'm done talking about this shit, preacher man," Napalmman sneered, eager to put an end to the pointless banter. "Androids, get this smarmy, rambling, Shit Pile out of my sight," he barked. Chargeman was already barrelling towards the lone RPD officer, screaming with rage. "Crystal, Stone! You bastards keep your eye on Charge! I've got business to take care of. Don't fail me you dumbfucks!"

"Yes sir, King Shit," CrystalChan responded, but Napalm didn't bother with a response. He was off.


Alright, enough running around like a dope and hiding. I decided that it was time for me to get to fighting. All I needed to do was apply a similar strategy to what I did in London, and things should go smoothly.

Mere seconds after I pecied that together, Wily's pitful briggade stormed the SA Joes guarding the other side of the rivier. It was there that I found my opening. The Scissor Joes, consentrating on Wily's troops, didn't realize that I was there. Perfect. My only dilema was, how was I going to get across.

I tested the water. It wasn't frozen, so that wasn't going to work. It was then that one of the Wily soldiers misfired, hitting what appeared to be a welding arm of some kind. The arm detacthed from the structure, and collapsed over the river, forming a flimsy makeshift bridge that only streached to about half of the riverbank. I was a pretty good jumper, so this was pretty convineent for me. Convinent, yes, but was it safe? I checked the skies. Gyroman seemed to be out of range, so I thought I'd risk it. I made the jump.

When I said I didn't mind the cold in Russia, that didn't apply to the river system. I nearly froze my ass off, and man, did it stinig! Using all of my willpower, I managed to keep myself from screaming. Well, the good thing was that I managed to make it.

On all fours, I crawled up the welding arm slowly and carefully. The Wily bots started to retreat farther upstream, and the Scissor Joes were giving chase. This was my big break. Targeting one of the stragglers, I pounced.

The force of the tackle sent us tumbling into an adjacent allyway. When we stopped rolling, I managed to pin the SA Joe to the ground. One stab from my claw, and his head was smashed. My claws don't cut through anything, but luckly, Scissor Joe heads wasn't on that list.

In an instant, I realized what my next move should be. Stabbing again, and detatched the now dececed Joe's arm from it's body. I then studied the ground. The snow wasn't heavy enough to make tracks, but imprints could be seen by sharp eyes. I smiled. The irony of the situation felt so fitting. Using my claws, I dug a hole in the ground, placed the arm inside, and covered it up. I would be able to retrive it later if I got out of here alive.

No, scratch that. When I got out of here alive. I wasn't going to die, not that easily, anyway. That was because I had a game plan that would ensure my survival. I scouted the outside of the allyway, poised to pounce.


It has been thirty minutes. So far, I managed to dispose of seven Scissor Joes without getting caught by Gyroman. With each Joe, I dissected a peice off of them and buried it. Although I did overhear radio chatter that the Joes knew that there soldiers were being picked off one by one, no one was able to spot me. By doing this, I managed to move farther west, keeping to the allyways and striking when I saw fit.

After I finished burying the shield of the last Scissor Joe I managed to dispose of, my sensor array went off again. Someone or something was nearby. Sticking to the shadows, I poked my head out to see what it was. Wouldn't I know it. There was Bright Babe, standing with Dustman who was getting a radio transmission, probably from another member of Cossack's Comrads. I smiled, and sighed with relief. What a sight for sore eyes...


Diveman took a swig of Russian Maalox as he hung back with BB. She still seemed pretty rattled by the Mesmer Mind Cluster Fuck. He didn’t blame ‘er. There was a damn good reason why Cold Cuts kept that walkin’ acid trip on his payroll. Smilin’, he offered up his flask to Bright.

“…N-no thanks…” BB whispered in a cracked voice.

“God, grow a pair,” Dive jeered. “It won’t kill ya,” BB shot him a hurt look. She was such an easy mark. Dive loved railin’ on her. No matter how bleak things were, it was always good for a yuk or two. But the truth was, it was his way o’ lookin’ out for her. She needed toughenin’ up. Badly. Dive hoped his razzin’ her would do the trick. If nothin’ it’d give ‘im some cheap laughs. Still, he decided to go a little easy on her. BB had gone through enough toughenin’ up for one outin’. They all had.

“Guys, we got trouble!” Pharaoh blurted through the com.

“Dear god, what now?!” Dive groused over the com.

“It’s Gravity Man! I just rescued Dumb and Dumber from squashed like bugs. But he’s not going to down long, and he’s gonna be pissed! I need back up, and I need back up now!” This is just what they needed. They didn’t have time to dick around with this bullshit. By the time they limped away from Gravity, the SA would get they want out of this town. If they haven’t already. “Oh, no…” Pharaoh groaned over the com. ”We’re so dead…”

“Now, what?!” Dive snapped. How the fuck could this get any worse?

“Napalm Man’s on his way too! He’s on Aleksandrovskaya ulitsa right now!”

“Yeah, we’re boned alright. Let’s bail!” Dive shouted over the com.

“We can’t, they’re boxing us in!”

Perfect. Napalm Man wasn’t far from where he and BB were either. Tanglin’ with the walking black hole was bad enough. But a tag team consistin’ of him AND Metal Gear Jr. the CC were eighteen different kinds of screwed.

“Dive Man, what are we going to do?” BB asked.

“Shaddap. You ain’t helpin’!” Dive snarled as he took another swig of vodka to jumpstart his brain. There was no way the whole lot o’ ‘em could take ONE of these freaks on in a fair fight, let alone two. What was worse was, Dive knew most o’ the CC couldn’t touch Gravs, him included. The crazy bastard would simply deflect, or fling his missiles back at the team. Bottom line, Dive Man was dead weight.

But not against Napalm Man. The AA’s captain was pretty much an arsenal on legs. But his sole strategy was pretty much blast anythin’ in his way. With a little luck, Dive could run circles ‘round that guy. Hell, Dive has seen worse up until this point. Who knows, he might even give his pals a fightin’ chance against Gravs. But he couldn’t kid himself, he was runnin’ into a blast furnace. But it beat the hell outta bein’ crumpled up like toilet paper.

“Goddamnit, BB! Ya fallin’ apart on me here?!” Dive bellowed as grabbed BB and forcefully shook her.

“No!!” BB screamed.

“Good. Now lissen good ya air-headed bimbo, I’m gonna take on Napalm Man,” “Yer better off with Pharaoh. He’s gonna need all the help he can get,” BB looked at him dumbstruck.

“Th-that’s suicide, Dive. Y-you won’t…“ BB weakly protested. She was fallin’ apart. Dive couldn’t blame her for it, but they couldn’t afford to have her melt down. Not here. Snarlin’, Dive Man slapped her with a good deal of force.

“Ya don’t have to like it! Ya just have to do it! Ya got that?!” Dive Man growled. BB said nothing as she weakly nodded.

“Then git yer ass over to Mum-Ra!” Dive scowled. Wastin’ no time, she hurried to the rest of the Cossackers, telling them to head toward Pharaoh’s location. Dive smiled as they went. He might make a warrior outta BB yet. After they left, Dive piled down the last of his Russian Maalox and tossed the flask over his shoulder as he scrambled up a nearby school’s fire escape. Dive knew this was a suicide mission. But hey, he was fightin’ to the death to ensure his freedom. He didn’t wanna go out any other way. “Death before conformity…”


Jade hurried back to meet up with the others. No doubt, Gravityman was looking for him. "I need to put some serious distance between me and him and find the others." He gritted his teeth, "I don't have a chance against him by myself..."

Dust's voice cames over the comlink. "Pharaoh, you there?"


"We found Slashman and we're gonna regroup against the Androids. Well, except Dive. Sounds like he went off to fight Captain Napalm by himself. Some grudge over a cigar or something."

"Wonderful. Well, I can see you guys' signatures on my GPS. I'm on my way n..."

Pharaoh cuts his transmission suddenly when Gravityman's fearsome bulk lands only 10 feet in front of him. Apparently, leaping tall buildings in a single bound is not a problem when you have gravity at your disposal. Jade leaps back, knowing he's history if he comes within range of his Gravity Hold.

"Tag, you're It!" Gravity guffaws. "Seriously, you didn't think you would blindside ME and get away with it, did you?"

"Maybe I did." Pharaoh replies. He's certainly not feeling good about this; but he's not gonna let HIM know that. "If you think you're gonna just just take us without a fight, you're gravely mistaken."

Gravity laughs again. "Look Cossack slug, I'll tell you this much. You're probably a lot stronger than these pathetic humans and RPD drones I've been killin' left and right here. I was hoping for a little excitement in this dump, so don't let me down."

With that, the earth around Gravity's feet shakes as chunks of it break to pieces as the ground is torn apart by the twisting gravitational fields. Several of the large pieces orbit Gravity momentaraly before flinging them at Pharaoh. Jade jumps around the debris, trying to charge up a Pharaoh Shot in his hands. He jumps over the last large rock before releasing the super-heated blast. As it's about to hit, Gravs suddenly appears to perform a flying leap over the shot, landing right in front of the small crater reslulting from the combination of his opening attack and the Pharaoh Shot striking it.

Jade is stunned. "How the hell is he so fast?!"

Gravity just smiles. "Isn't it obvious? I can make myself heavy or as light as I want. Evading attacks like that is too easy when I'm as light as a feather, no?"

Pharaoh's eyes narrow. "I see... Dammit! How do I beat something like that by myself?!"

Gravityman sends another wave of the smaller debris flying towards Jade, but a Pharaoh Wave explodes around the Egyptian king, incinerating the rubble. He immediately raises his buster for a Pharaoh Beam, but...

"Where is he?"

Gravity answers with a collossal punch to the side of his head. When Pharaoh started the Pharaoh Wave, he dodged to the side, then lept forward, channeling several extra G's into his fist, sending Jade flying into a nearby car.

Jade staggers to his feet, holding the side of his face. "What do I do?! Is this it? Am I gonna die here? Like this?" He frowns again.

Gravityman crosses his arms as he just hovers in the air. "Well, I guess I was wrong. You Cossacks aren't so tough after all. I was hoping for a little action. Oh well..."

Jade spots something out of the corner of his eye, behind Gravity, as he continues to ramble on. Good thing he has a mask over his face, since he starts to crack a smile.

"I dunno why the General was so worried about you. Eh, I suppose that makes things easier for me. I'll enjoy delivering Cossack's remains to him, whatever's left anyways. Hah!"

"You talk too much, shithead." Jade glares at Gravityman as he charges another Pharaoh Shot.

"Oh? You have some fight left in you, huh? 'Atta boy!" Gravs smiles. "Let's make this quick though; I have plenty more people to kill." He readys himself to dodge again. "I'll let you have this next attack, then I'm ripping you apart!"

Suddenly, something heavy crashes into Gravityman's back, casuing him to almost stumble over. "What the...?!" He looks in the direction the projectile came from, but as he turns, a blinding light covers his eyes. "Aaagghhh!!" He rubs his eyes furiously, trying to overcome the flash. He truns back to Pharaoh just in time to see the Pharaoh Shot hurtling toward him; the intense blast of heat and light blow him backwards (made easy thanks to his making his body light in preparation for the unseen attack), sending him through the wall of a nearby building.

Jade smiles as he greets the source of the surprise attacks, Sean and Jet. "Hey guys! Talk about cutting things close."

Brightbabe smiles and nods. "Your last trasmission cut off suddenly, so we thought something had happened."

Dustman crosses his arms. "Glad you're alright, anyway. So what about Gravityman? Did we get him?"

Jade looks back at the hole he was shot into. "Somehow, I doubt he'll be done in that easy. I think we very well might have just pissed him off."

Suddenly, the entire building Gravity was in shakes violently as it crumbles to dust. The Android himself hovers amongst the rubble, eyeing the three Comrades with only bloodlust on his mind. "You fuckers are gonna feel pain..."


For once, Napalm Man was actually proud of Gravity Man as he advanced through Izhevk’s streets. Through sheer dumb luck reserved for dumbasses like him, the crazy Shit Pile and Gyroman stumbled across the Comrades as they approached the city from the south. If he was smart, Gravity could just squash them and call it a day, but no one accused Gravityman of being smart. And if Gravity couldn’t or wouldn’t do the job right, he would.

Out of the corner of his eye, Napalmman could’ve sworn he saw something scramble up a nearby fire escape. But when he turned to blast the vermin, there was nothing there. Steam shot out of Napalmman’s face port. The commies were probably trying to rig up a trap to take him out, like they did with Mystery. Not that it mattered. Napalm Man wasn’t some lightweight like Mystery was.

“Do your worse, commie pisspots,” Napalm Man snorted. “You’re as good as dead,”


Once he was on the roof, Dive could see Napalm Man rolling towards the Mira ulitsa, intendin’ to cut the rest of the Comrades off. Dive’s hoped that a couple dive missile pot shots from some decent cover’d get Napalm Man’s attention off the Comrades. And god willin’, he could haul ass to Izhevsk, n’ fight GI Joe on HIS terms and take out the nearby factories the SA wanted. Grittin’ his teeth, Dive fired several dive missiles before he sprinted towards the roof access, hopin’ that he got the Captain’s attention. Just as Dive slammed the door, he heard retaliatory napalm bombs detonatin’ all over the roof as he fled down the stairwell. Once he was on the second floor, Dive Man raced out of the stairwell down the hall past screamin’ and panickin’ yard apes and their keepers. He kicked open the door to some classroom and dashed towards the windows, ignorin’ all the simperin’ brats huddled down beneath their desks. He could still see Napalm Man marchin’ down the street, without so much scratch on his shitty paint job. Dive was gonna be all day at this. Or not.

“Get the hell outta here!” Dive growled angrily to the snivellin’ lil shits as he punched open a window and fired another volley of missiles, this time, targetin’ the tank’s knees and treads, hopin’ to disable it some. Seconds after the last missile was fired, Dive Man hurried outta the classroom, knockin’ some slowpoke brats outta his way before Rambo could retaliate. Without a second to spare, Napalm’s counterattack tore through the classroom, blastin’ some of the slower kids. Dive Man sprinted down the hall towards another classroom, but another explosion tore through the classroom three doors ahead of him, splashing scorchin’ hot napalm directly in front of him. Dive turned to run back the way he came, but the classroom just past the one he was in exploded too. Along with the classroom two doors ahead of him. Dive could see where this was going. He got the Captain’s attention, alright. He spotted some elevator doors across the class room in front of him. Cursin’ out loud, Dive Man desperately blasted the doors open with a dive missiles and leapt into the elevator shaft, just an explosion tore through the classroom behind ‘im, landin’ on top o’ the elevator. He screamed in gut-wrenchin’ pain not so much from the rough landin’ but when he noticed that his back and his right shoulder were ablaze. Dive Man frantically threw his coat off before the fire could spread. Dive Man paused a second to collect his thoughts and his breath…and to pull a smoke outta his jacket before it completely went up.

“Aren’t we havin’ some fun now?” Dive mused as he blasted a hole in the ceilin’. After dodgin’ the fallin’ debris, Dive lit his cig on the fiery remains o’ his jacket n’ scampered up the grease-covered elevator cables, hopin’ Napalm wouldn’t take a pot shot at ‘im. As he scurried outta the hole, Dive instinctively fired a few dive missiles in Napalm’s direction, intercepin’ a salvo o’ napalm bombs Napalm Man fired off. Swearin’ under his breath, Dive Man raced for the fire escape, only to see it blown apart and covered with napalm in front of his eyes.

“Not so fast, Davey Jones. You’re not going anywhere!” Napalm Man shouted from the street. Outta desperation, Dive Man threw himself off the roof just as a salvo of Napalm Bombs soared just over his back, landin’ in an alley behind the school, face-first on top of a dumpster. Groanin’ in pain, Dive Man hoisted ‘imself off the shit box, clutchin’ his wounded shoulder. He didn’t have much time before Death on Treads caught up with ‘im.

“Go ahead and run!” Napalm bellowed off in the distance. “You’re not going to get far!” Ignorin’ the fumin’ captain, Dive Man frantically dashed through the narrow alleys. On the bright side, they were too narrow for someone like Napalm to get through, but they weren’t gonna buy him that much time. And there was no way he’d make it to the factory with GI Joe on his tail. However, Dive’s spirits lifted when he came out at Nagormaya ulitsa and found a manhole by the street corner. It gave him ‘n idea. It was a longshot, but he had nuthin’ better to go on. Dive Man lifted up the manhole cover and plunged into the city’s sewers below. He hoped Napalm couldn’t follow ‘im as he raced down random tunnels, but his hopes were dashed as he heard deafenin’ explosions off in the distance.


I smiled, observing the whole scene with Gravityman from the shadows. Seeing how he took those shots from Dustman and Bright Babe, and the Pharaoh Shot during his distraction, I developed a strategy that would help us survive.

"Drillman," I whispered. "I think I know what we have to do in order to survive this guy. If we bum-rush him, he'll pick us off immidietally. However, if we use hit-and-run tactics, such as Dust, Bright, and Pharaoh did, we'll have the advantage in the battle until he gets so pissed off that he forms a gravity well around himself, at which point we flee."

Drillman turned, surprised by my presence, but he seemed happy that I was there. "Slash, when did you show up? Er, nevermind... that seems like a good idea. You sure the other three will be able to catch on to the plan?"

My smiled broadened. "I count on it. Now, let's go."


Gravityman towered over Pharaoh, Dust, and Bright, ready to crush them with his Gravity Hold. Facing him from the side, I saw my opening. As soon as I saw Drillman in position, I pounced.

A quick slash to his upper arm was enough to get his attention. He turned, angry and confused, ready to murder me for getting that hit in. As soon as he was about to, however, Drillman sprang from the ground below him, causing the walking black hole to lose his balance. He collapsed into the snow, but was quickly recovering.

"Guys!" I said in a harsh whisper. "We need to use hit-and-run tactics in order to survive this battle. Get into position before he's combat effective again."


The Comrades and Slash scrambled as Gravityman pulled himself out of the ground, holding his wounded arm.

"So, more of you have shown up." He growls, "Like cockroaches that are about to be squashed!" He looks around. "Where have you gone to, cowards?!" He picks up a car and flings it into the side of the building its parked next to. "Come out, come out!" He collapses the wall of another building. "You're only making this harder on yourselves!"

"Looking for me?" Slashman appears in the street behind the SA officer. He turns, but no sooner does he do so, than a Pharaoh Shot hits him in the back of his head. Good thing for him he had a helmet, now partially melted. He turns back to see a Dust Crusher headed right towards him. He stops it in time, though, sending it back, which Dustman quickly sidesteps, running back behind the building he and Pharaoh were behind. Gravityman angrily turns back to see Slashman gone.

Drillman, meanwhile is in the sewers underground, setting up another way to slow Gravityman down. "That looks good." He mutters to himself, as he shoots a Drill Bomb to burrow up into the ground until they're almost to the surface, acting as a sort of remote-controlled land mine should the Android pass over it.

Back topside, Gravity is busy tearing up the street and anything on it, looking for his assailants. "You can't hide forever!" He bellows, "I'll find you, and when I do, I'll be sure to crush you to death VERY slowly!!"

Debris starts swirling around him, like a makeshift shield. Brightbabe suddenly rushes out from the ally and fires a charged buster shot at him. A chunk of rubble absorbs the blow as another gets flug straight at her. Pharaoh hops down and blocks it with his Eye of Horus, but the high impact of the shot shatters the shield and knocks him flat on his back. The Android scoops him up with his Gravity Hold, has he playfully starts squeezing him.

"Got a little careless didn't you? Heh. You knew you couldn't keep this up forever."

"Jade!" Bright raises her buster, but Gravity just swings Pharaoh out in front of him.

"Yes, go right ahead and shoot, missy."

"Damn. I can get in to attack him like this..." Sean hisses from his hiding spot. "Not with all that crap circling him."

Jet starts shaking knowing she's unable to shoot, seeing as she may hit her comrade. Gravity just snickers as he begins crushing the life out of Jade. "Be patient, my dear. You'll have your turn soon enough."

"Aren't you... forgetting something...?" Jade weakly asks.

A Pharaoh Wave, unaffected by the gravity, erupts around Pharaoh, blowing away the rubble and burning Gravityman all over. The moment his hold is released, his eyes are filled with the blinding light again from the Flash Stopper as Jade and Jet take cover.

"You okay?" Jet asked.

"Well, I've had better days." Jade replies. While he hates to admit it, he's beat up pretty bad. Luckilly he's not missing any parts, but that last attack seems to have crushed quite a few internal parts.

Gravityman's not faring well either. The front of his body is charred from that Pharaoh Wave, and he's now shaking off the effect of that accursed flash. "That goddamned little bitch! I should've killed her off first!" As he curses himself, Slashman dashes form his hiding spot and cuts through Gravity's arm where he'd wounded it before, this time taking it completely off. The Android howls in both pain and rage as he turns to the agile DM member, who's already retreating, and gives chase.

Slashman leaps towards a window as the SA officer suspends the gravity around himself to follow. "Now's my chance!" Dustman shoots the airborn Gravityman with a Dust Crusher, which plows into his side, causing him to plummet to the ground. Turning towards Dustman now, he follows, but runs right into Drillman's impromptu mine field. Explosions rip through the ground as the torn-up Gravity falls into the sewer tunnel below. Drill has already surfaced as well. The others come out of hiding as well.

"Please tell me we got him now." Dustman says.

"I hope so." Pharaoh says. "I never was good at hide & seek."

More pieces of the street (or what's left of it) fly apart as Gravity leaps back out of the hole. He's shredded up pretty badly, but he still glared at the Comrades with burning malice. "Insects!" He spews, "I'm an elite SA officer! You're nothing but bugs at my feet!"

"Perhaps." Drillman dryly remarks. "But banded together, we can beat you."

"SAVE IT!!" Gravity sputters, "You haven't won! You haven't won at all!!" The ground begins to shudder as he starts powering up.

"Guys, I think we should leave..." Slash remarks.

"By all means! Run if you think it'll do any good!" the insane Android cries. "You don't know the full extent of my Gravity Hold! I'll crush you and this entire city to dust!!"

"What?" Jade exclaims, stunned, "What about your teammates?"

"Fuck 'em!!!"

"Well, you can't do anything if we destroy you first, right?" Dust yells. With that, the Comrades unleash their attacks on Gravityman, but to no avail. The gravity surrounding him has become insanely strong.

"It even pulls the light from my Flash Stopper to the ground!" Bright cries out.

"That's right! There's no escape for you!"

As the Android revels in his 'victory' he feels raindrops splash on him. But not any rain. Gravityman screams in pain as the acid rain pierces his metallic skin, doing even more damage by the insane gravity around him. He whirls around to see the source of the rain, Zapper, and Zymeth with her, a ways behind him.

"About time you guys showed up!" Drill says.

"You..." Gravityman looks at Toadgal, completely blinded in his rage, "You bitch!! I'M GONNA RIP YOU APAAAAAAAART!!!"

He rans at Zapper, who just screamed as she turned away, shaking. But Gravity was so lost in his anger, that he didn't even seem to notice Zymeth until his scythe was embedded in his chest. Not saying anything, Zymeth raised his buster and blasted the Android backwards, meeting another feiry blow from Jade's Sword of Anubis. He fell to the ground, staggering to his feet, his torso ripped open from the two previous attacks. A Drill Bomb straight into the gaping wound sent him back to the ground for good.

"Well if he ain't dead now, I don't know WHAT'll kill him." Slash remarks.

Zapper turned back around slowly, "I... is it over...?"

"Don't worry. He's dead." Zymeth replied. "But let's save the hellos for later, shall we? I just got a transmission from Diveman. It doesn't sound good. We need to go help him... if it's not too late that is..."


Napalm Man angrily raced after the commie sub through the utility tunnels. The persistent sack of shit should’ve been blown to pieces or burning in terrible agony by now. Instead, he’s led Napalm on a wild goose chase through this icy pisspot, leadin’ him away from his real targets. And it was pissing Napalm Man off to no end. And to make matters worse, these sewers were more like a maze then crap-pipes. Napalm Man lost count of how many junctures he reached. And still no sign of the sub. For all he knew, the bastard was back on the surface, resuming his run towards the factories. Thankfully, he still had two COs ready to greet him at the door.

“Duchess, Mongo! We got a pinko heading your way! Move in to intercept him ASAP!” Napalm Man barked over the com.

“No can do. We got our hands full with Star Man! You’re on your own. ” Crystal Girl shot back snidelyu. Steam shot out of Napalm’s face port again as he growled in frustration. Something told him Crystal was getting payback for babysitting job. But he had bigger things to worry about than that spoiled bitch. In his anger, he was about to fire off a barrage of napalm bombs out of frustration, bu something caught the Captain’s eye: a gas line for the city. Napalm Man chuckled. The ball was in his court now. It didn’t matter where Dive Man was cowering in the sewers now. The commie couldn’t hide from what was in store. Cackling cruelly, Napalm Man took his combat knife and sliced a hole in the pipe. The tunnel was briefly filled with hissing sound of gas escaping until Napalm fired a bomb, sparking a catastrophic explosion. The road throughout the city buckled under the force of the explosion. Geysers of fire shot out of manholes throughout the city, scorching the pavement at the same time. Sections of the tunnels caved in under the force of the blasts as walls of fire raced through the dingy sewers. Portions of buildings throughout the southern half of the city disintegrated and burst into flames. Even though Napalm Man was built to withstand explosions like these, the force of the blast threw him back several yards and scorched his armor, exposing some circuitry here and there. But it was worth it. Wherever he was, Dive Man was blasted, burned, and crushed by tons of debris. All Napalm Man had to do now was to pick up the pieces.


Dive Man was seriously boned. He thought he gave Napalm the slip through the maze-like sewer system. But Napalm Man got around that by blowin’ a gas line. Dive Man cursed himself for not thinkin’ of that before the Black Death did. Now he was buried underneath a pile of rubble from the waist down. His left forearm was blown completely off, n’ bits and pieces of his hide were peeled off, exposin’ portions of his robotic skeleton, especially his right arm, ribs, shoulder, and face. With all the strength he could muster, Dive hoisted the rubble off his ruined legs, brick by brick. It took every ounce of his strength not to scream this time.

He didn’t know how much time he had before Napalm found ‘im but it didn’t matter. He knew in his gut that he even if he got out, he was gonna be blown to smithereens for playin’ hero. But Dive wouldn’t have it any other way. He wasn’t gonna lay down and die for some psycho that got to play with neat toys. If he was goin’ out, Napalm Man was goin’ with him.


Napalm Man had dashed down the sixth tunnel and found no sign of the annoying pinko slime. He had to clear out some of the debris blocking his path every now then. He, knew in his gut that the maggot was still down here. Besides, Gyro hadn’t seen any sign of Dive Man ever since he scurried into this little hole. And if Gyro said Dive Man wasn’t up on the surface, Napalm was willing to believe. Dive Man certainly wasn’t the stealthy type.

Sure enough, Napalm Man came across Dive Man…What was left of him, anyway. The damaged robot was hiding in a vent, and doing a poor job of it at that. The upper half of his body was in plain sight, and looking pretty worse for wear.

“End of the line,” Napalm Man sneered darkly as he aimed his launchers directly at the pinko’s face. Suddenly, the commie shot a pair of dive missiles out of his chest. Caught off guard, Napalm Man stumbled back as the missiles sailed over his shoulders. Napalm Man frowned in his head. He shouldn’t have dodged those missiles that easily.


The missiles slammed into a water main a few dozen yards behind Napalm Man, releasing several gallons of icy water racing towards the surprised CO.

“Goddamnit…” was all the massive CO could get out before he washed away by a raging torrent of water. As the Black Death hurtled down the flooded tunnels, Dive Man shot out of his hiding place like a bullet from a gun and forcefully rammed into Napalm Man’s gut, slamming him forcefully into the concrete wall. The force of the impact crumpled and ruined his blast-proof armor, revealing bits and pieces of his innerworkings. His Howitzer was crushed like a tin can, and his left eye couldn't see squat anymore. Infuriated, Napalm Man ignored the pain and screamed with rage as he opened fire on the rat. But he dropped his hand launchers for some reason, and only three of his shoulder launchers were firing. Even with the powerful deluge drowning out the napalm-fueled flames, the force of the bombs was still enough to blow the pinko in half. Napalm Man watched as the commie’s ravaged torso tumbled down the flooded tunnels. Pleased with his handiwork, Napalm Man was about to swim to safety until he noticed half a dozen mines drifting towards him. The maggot must’ve released them as he rammed Napalm Man. At the same time, Dive Man unleashed a final volley of missiles from his chest while giving Napalm Man the one-fingered salute. Napalm Man had just enough time to register his frustration just as the world disappeared in a bright, deafening wave of searing pain.


Dive Man was in extreme agony as he was washed down the sewers to who-knows-where. Most of him was blown to hell, he was blackin’ in and out every two seconds, but, he thought nuthin’ but happy thoughts as he watched the AA’s military might meet his explosive end. Actually, he weren’t too sure that he really capped Napalm Man. But he stood his ground and fought to the bitter end. He liked to think that Napalm’d at least think twice before fuckin’ with the CC.

Dive Man turned his thoughts to the rest o’ his buddies on the surface. He hoped things were goin’ better for ‘em than they did for ‘im, and he felt crummy for duckin’ out on ‘em. But if he hadn’t, he wouldn’t have taken Napalm outta the picture, ‘n he n’ the CC would be crumpled, smolderin’ wrecks. But he had to know if his pals were still peachy.

“…G…guys…” Dive gasped over the com. “…I…I’m…” Then the world went dark.


Chargeman roared with anger, thrashing every building he could find. He was blinded, unable to see anything in his path. His primative mind lead him straight into this, distracted and outsmarted. It lead to several percise Star Arrows into the optics. Stoneman was now attempting to keep control of the beheamoth. It was a narrow victory that came so fast that Vulcan surprised even himself. He stood, slightly hunching, gasping for breath.

CrystalGirl smirked behind her mask as she approached the worn former leader of the Androids. vague memories of a life that wasn't her own bubbled to the surface of her mechanized mind, and soon a plan was forming. As tired as the RPD agent was, he was a formidable foe, and she wasn't at one hundred percent either. Throwing around those hunks of gemstone got tiring after a while, even if the resulting flattening of various civilians made it worthwhile. She grinned to herself as she stepped closer. "So, Vulcan. Have you had enough yet?"

He looked up at her, the left lens of his goggles cracked. He had feared this moment.

"Crys," he claimed with a heavy breath, "I don't know whether to be surprised, or relieved. "

An obvious smile adorned her face, albeit covered by her mask. It was a smile entirely unfamiliar to the battered hero. Something cruel and lifeless, devoid of the luster and energy that defined his old friend. He fell back into his earlier fear that this could be a mutilated Crystalgirl, the humanity stripped from her humanity. He didn't fear killing her at that moment, at least not so much as he was terrified that her mind was quite possibly raped by Mesmerman...

Her body shook slightly as she chuckled, her eyes glinting with amusement. It wasn't a kindly humor, however. She crossed her arms over her chest.

"Both emotions seem pointless here. It's obvious that the original wearers of the Android armors would be acquired for the General's army. After all... who better to control them, than the ones who have mastered them?" Another dry chuckle, and she motioned towards him. "And relief.... hmph. You should only be relieved if you plan on joining us. It's a shame if you don't... your leadership qualities clearly surpass the Captain's."

Vulcan's expression didn't change for a second. He continued to examine her, trying to rid himself of any connections he felt for Crys. "Flattery gets you nowhere, woman. I thought you knew that... but, I appreciate the compliment."

She began to giggle with a cold, mechanical laughter. Despite his composure, he felt a chill run down his spine. There was no way that this monster was Crys, but...

She looked up at him, superficially attempting to hold back her laughter. "Vulcan... you haven't changed a bit. That sense of humor is just one of the many reasons you managed to steal my heart away..."

He knew it was her intention, but it struck a nerve within his psyche. Vulcan became more focused on her, uneasy with the revelation that this fight would soon become much harder.

"You know, Vulcan... I am the Queen of Fortune... and behind every good Queen, there's an even better King." She forced herself to hold back a sound of retching as she spoke. Ugh... the things humans enjoyed being told. She moved forward, stepping lightly towards him.

"We don't have to fight... you could join us, and the team would be complete again! Isn't that what you want, my King...?" She forced emotion into her voice at this, attempting to sound as if the former human occupant of this shell was still residing within it, and trying to reason with the RPD agent before her.

"For being the real Crys, you sure do seem to take me for a fool..."

She stopped her forward motions, training her gaze on the arrogant pest. He began to remove the goggles from his face, revealing tired blue eyes that gave her strong, hateful gaze.

"Giving me such angry looks... is that any way to treat your lover?"

He would deny it, but those words cut deep with a glass sharper than anything she could forge. The truth was omniscient, and he indeed loved Crys. All year he had longed for her company, always, and only expressed in a lonely sigh as he sat in the nearest alleyway available to him.

"Crys... you know I can't join the SA, but you... if you're still in there, can't you find it within yourself to come by my side once more?" His eyes expressed no anger. The fire that always burned in his gaze was gone, leaving behind shallow, battered blue irises.

He was falling for it. Good. "Vulcan..." More forced emotion, this time of a pathetic, soft and sad voice. She'd honestly been expecting a bit more of a fight. "I.. I can't. Not after all that humanity's done to us... I left, remember? I couldn't take it back then, either... we're not appreciated. We're just.. just slaves to man, to be done away with the minute they finds us too much of a threat to them and their precious power." She shook her head, feigning sadness. Inside, she was fighting back a laugh. "I can't join you to protect those who hate us like they do..."

"The people who hate machines?" he asked with a low baritone. She nodded in response, confidently expressing her false personality.

"The humans," she began "they hate machines like you and me. Even those of us who were once flesh and blood, no different than them. Vulcan, they need to be shown the light. You know what I mean... the carnage, the destruction, the politics. It's all a vicious cycle..

You may have your beliefs, but the General has his own. You know that... but there is something about what he says that appears all the same to your world. It's all the same in theory. You must understand this, don't you? Please, join us... you could accomplish so much."

"Accomplishments? Surely you jest... the destruction of the one thing I value most? Crys, maybe the world has been wrong to you this past year, but is this really the path you want? Please, retire from the Scissor Army..."

She paced around in circles, as if considering the options with a naive innocence.

"Vulcan... don't do this to me. You're the only human worth saving. You don't understand how much I missed you... and now that you're here again, I don't want to kill you. I'm trying to fight the urge, but it won't stop... not unless you join us."

He cautiously stepped forward, nearing her with a somber optimism...

"Crys... don't put me into this kind of situation. Please, it was enough knowing you were with the Scissor Army, but that you are still human deep down... I want you, by my side once more... but not like that. I can't betray myself."

"It wouldn't be wrong..." She began pacing forward as well, her eyes locked with his. The closer she got, the taller he became. He towered over her, his six by six stature dwarfing her.

"Vulcan... there's nothing to lose. We'll be together, Jack... always." She fought herself, a stabbing pain in her abdominal area that screamed with self loathing. "Vulcan..." she paused, continuing to fight her disgust, "I love you..."

The words left a wretched taste in her mouth, but she ignored it. Moving forward, she placed her hands at his waist, watching him for a moment. She had to fight back the urge to be sick as she closed the distance between the two of them, wrapping her arms around him tightly. The self-loathing she felt for herself in that instant for being near the former leader of the Androids caused an incredible painful sensation in her stomach. Suddenly, her eyes widened as she felt an especially sharp pain in her abdominal area. Pulling away frantically, she looked down, the image of a beam dagger buried in her stomach suddenly entering her vision. Glancing up with pure hatred in her eyes, she saw Starman staring down at her coldly.

"I love you too, Crys..."

Her lips pulled back into an almost animalistic snarl as she pushed the larger man, as well as the beam dagger, away from her. She swore loudly, the weapon ripping through her, and clutched at the new wound in pain. "If that's how you want to play, then FINE!" She shouted, abandoning her plan. Instead, she motioned with her free hand, and one of her seven chunks of gemstone ore made its way towards her quickly. It floated ominously as its brothers made to join in, and she laughed frantically. "I will SMASH YOU, like the BUG you are!" She howled, sending the large rock at him. It sped at him, seeming to move of its own accord, making a beeline to smash him soundly.

The crystal shattered before it could hit him. An arrow of light had peirced the sphere, and the shattered pieces seemed to bounce right off him. Vulcan was by this point entirely familiar with his special weapon, Bolt Action. He could now shift between configurations within a seconds notice, and was able to fire an arrow faster than any bullet on Earth.

She glared angrily at him, drawing the shards of the jewel back while she reformed it. As the other ores arrived, surrounding her in a large semi-circle of rainbow-colored gemstones, she contemplated her next move. Throwing the stones at him again would just cause them to be destroyed, leaving her open for attack. Getting in close for a Melee attack would be hazardous, even if she was expecting it now. And she didn't want to use her laser just yet... no... that was her trump card. A sudden thought hit her, and she grinned wickedly.

"What are you planning?" Vulcan watched her, getting ready to shoot at her as needed. He didn't want to hurt the crystalline Android... not yet, anyway. The idea of damaging his old friend wasn't too appealing just yet. She made no response to his query, however, and just stood there for a moment. He wondered momentarily what the hell she was doing, but the thought was broken midway when three of the floating stone behemoths shattered simultaneously, and quickly fell into place. He marveled at the weapon, a seemingly disjointed whip fashioned from the precious stones, and with a particularly sharp chunk at the end.

He stood with a weary expression, contemplating which weapon he should use... Bolt Action was no good in its projectile forms. If he shot the whip, she would just reform the entire blade... Engetsu and the beam dagger configuration were his best bet...

She laughed softly as he withdrew Engetsu. A sword? A sword?! Was this guy for real? With a chortle, she pulled the whip back, and snapped it. The multi-colored snake seemed to rear back and then lash out with her movements. The point slashed across his front, tearing at the black fabric slightly as it whistled by, and she drew it back again.

"You're seriously considering going after me with a sword?"

"Yes," he responded, confidence apparent.

She giggled once more, snapping the whip another time. Now Vulcan was ready. He moved to the side, slashing the blade right at its side. Anticipating the next move, he performed a back flip, avoiding the the cut half, now speeding from behind. Reeling his blade back as he landed, he slammed it on the ground. A shockwave rushed toward the Queen of Fortune...

She swore loudly as the blow hit her, sending her careening to the ground. Her concentration momentarily lost, the whip disassembled, the large chunks littering the ground in brilliant glass. She stood then, shaking her head.

"You'll pay for that." Spite and hatred filled her voice, as one of the ores fell into place in front of her. The Crystal Eye swung into place next, and the apparatus began pushing a stream of light through the stone, creating a crimson beam straight at the RPD agent.

Vulcan's shields were useless. He was nearly blown away by the laser had he not moved out of the way as soon as it made contact. He ran, the stream of light continuing to pursue him with an unrelenting blood thirst. He put away his blade, storing it between his belt and torso, away from his holster. e reached behind his back, to his second holster made from tape-like materials. He took out Bolt Action, and within a seconds noticed an arrow was fired.

Moving with more speed than Crystal-Chan could comprehend at the moment, the arrow crashed through the crystal and into the laser, effectively eliminating the threat. This was not the end, however...

CrystalChan was becoming more violent, and began to fire shards of glass into Vulcan's direction. Thinking quickly, he switched Bolt Action into saber configuration and began to twirl the weapon by it's trigger guard, seemingly melting the crystal shards. This was momentary relief, as she just kept solidifying the melted crystals and using them over.

Her anger at the situation was unrivaled. She kept re-forming the melted jewels, mashing them back into her shields. She stood calmly as they floated around her, not showing any expression of her disdain for the other Android. No... ex-Android. She'd be sure of that.

"You're starting to get on my nerves, Jack." She announced, motioning towards him. There was slight amusement in her voice.

"I'm going to enjoy this far too much." It was then that he realized that only six of the shields were present, and the sudden sound of something exploding and force shards of sharp, glistening death at him and the emptiness of the area for a fair ways alerted him as to where the seventh one had gone off to.

Vulcan fell on his knees, dropping Bolt Action. He could feel something moving around in his back. CrystalChan had managed to insert crystals into him. Remembering rumors within the RPD, something similar had apparently happened to Blademan. Before he knew it, he felt a force pulling him up off his feet, thrashing him in place with no mercy. The pain was unbearable, but there was something CrystalChan didn't count on...

He fell to the ground, her control over him now incredibly weak. A confused expression dressed her face, unnerved by what had happened. "What... the hell?" she asked, rhetorics riddling her mechanical voice. Vulcan said nothing, yet she still had little time to respond before a sudden blast of energy hit her in the stomach, right where he had stabbed her earlier. She hunched over in pain, grabbing the ground with her left hand. She looked up.

He stood tall, his index finger pointed at her. What had happened was that Vulcan unleashed his Supernova, a high energy output that unleashed extreme amounts of energy from the Star Crash. This ability was rarely seen, but was highly effective. The shards in his back had been melted.

CrystalChan screamed as he rushed at her, Engetsu unsheathed, pulsating with a bright aura. She did what she could and formed a thick shield of crystal around her, but the blade just cut right through as if it was nonexistent. She kicked him in the face, her hand covering her wound. Blood leaked from Vulcan's jaw, but he kept his pace.

Frantically, she tried to take control over his body, but it was no use. The Star Crash just kept them melted; entirely useless. He swung his saber, cutting off her right arm as she attempted to defend herself. She screamed again as he stabbed her for the second time, now leaving her paralyzed. Outward he pulled his blade, and he leaped far into the air. Downward he fell like a comet, his blade slashing her square on her left shoulder. Pain was all she knew.

He breathed heavily, saying nothing...

She went limp, her body losing power. She fell forward onto his shoulder, his aura dead and his blade retracting back into its hilt. He stood up, allowing her to fall to his feet. He walked off, a troubled look on his face. She was not the Crys he loved, but he would do what he could to right these wrongs. He'd do everything in his power...

He stopped walking. Engetsu fell from his hand, hitting the cold, hard ground. He fell onto his knees, staring up into the sky... it was snowing. He chuckled slightly before falling over, face first into the ground. He turned to his side, noticing the crystal orb far from him. His reflection echoed from it. For the first time in what seemed like an eternity, he cried...

"I love you, Crys..."


When Dive came to, he found ‘imself on a metal cot bein’ operated on by some scrawny jerk in a filthy lab coat. He couldn’t quite make ‘im out, everythin’ was a little hazy.

“Take it easy, now,” the guy whispered. “You’ve been through hell. It’s a miracle you’re still alive, my boy,” Dive Man frowned. He wanted a better idea who was tinkerin’ with him. Sayin’ nothin’, the white coat grabbed some grayish tool Dive couldn’t make out and futzed ‘round in the back of his head. He could hear metallic clickin’ until he made out the unmistakable figure of Dr. Cossack.

“You feeling alright?” Dr. Cossack. Dive Man smiled, relieved to see Pop’s old face again.

“Swell,” Dive happily answered. “How’d ya find-“ In response, BB stepped forward, smilin’ and holdin’ a new flask of Russian Maalox and pack of cigs.

“After the manholes blew, I saw your body float by in the sewers as we fought Gravity,” BB explained, stickin’ a cig in his mouth lightin’ it. “There’s no way we’d leave you like that,” Dive smiled wider. Looked like BB was getting’ the big picture behind Dive’s razzin’.

“Going after Napalm? What the hell were you thinking, man?!” Drill demanded. Dive simply smiled at his old boss n’ pal.

“Just tryin’ to help,” Dive jested.

“Don’t you want to know how the mission went?” Dust asked. Dive Man shook his head.

“Nah. Don’t spoil the surprise. I just wanna chill for a moment or two, ‘right?” Drill and the rest of the team nodded.

“You doing alright?” Toad said cheerfully as she and the rest of the CC exited the room. Frankly, Dive could give a hog’s hair how the mission went. He resisted Mesmer’s mind-fucking, held his own against the SA’s heavy artillery all his lonesome, and more importantly, found his faith in his compadres. Mesmer was right, they stuck by him when things were goin’ their way. And now that the chips were down, and the SA was singlin’ ‘em out, they were showin’ what they were made of. And it was a steadfast courage n’ loyalty. For once, Dive Man towards the future optimistically. “Death before conformity,”


When Napalm Man came to, he was lying on a cot, undergoing repairs. He cursed himself for letting that pinko sub get the best of him like this. He felt a spindly hand grab him by the shoulder. He looked up and saw the General gazing down at his fallen creation, his expression neutral, but chilling at the same time.

“Now what do you call this?” General Cut Man asked politely, flicking his shears at the same time. Napalm Man could see where the General was going with this..

“A successful mission, sir,” Napalm Man reported proudly. The General lowered his shears slightly and shot his captain a bemused look.

“You call this…successful?” the General asked dryly. If Napalm Man could smile, he would.

“We found Cossack’s location,” Napalm replied calmly. The General leaned forward intently, his shears completely lowered.

“Go on,”

“It wasn’t that hard, really. Stone and I followed the factories’ paper trail straight to Cossack’s Citadel,” Napalm Man calmly explained. “The information was classified, but only by their standards. We accomplished the mission well before our old boss showed up. That Commie submarine beating me doesn’t change anything.” The General absently flicked his shears as he weighed his options. Regardless of the General’s decision, Napalm Man regretted nothing. It was an honor to fight for a cause that would finally bring harmony to Earth after millions of years worth of blundering. Napalm Man was ready die exterminating those who’d threaten his freedom and harmony for their own personal gain. Those who’ve stagnated their entire existence, claiming to have evolved. Those who would never let robots be anything other than their personal slaves, and then have the nerve to act surprised and afraid when they learn that their slaves don’t like being slaves. Once they were gone, he and the General could usher in a world that lived in harmony that knew nothing of the oppression humans sought to impose.

“Unity through destruction,” Napalm Man reflected as he waited for the General to pronounce judgment.




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