Series 8 Issue #10 - A Royal Pain Part 1

The Mechanical Maniacs convene at RPD HQ, as usual. They take a late lunch to avoid the crowds (and Cossack's Comrades).

Spark Chan: So you've dismantled their spaceship again, right hun?

Snakeman: That's right. They won't be going anywhere today.

Shadowman: Which gives us more time to figure out what we're going to do about the situation.

Magnetman: Well, we have to do something about it. If what we heard about him is true that guy's a dirty, stinkin' rat.

(At that moment, the room is stirred by wind. Placemats and loose papers go flying everywhere.)

Magnetman: What in tarnation!?

(There's an odd pulsing sound as a small structure appears before them.)

Geminiman: Oh, no. No, no.

Shadowman: That ass! I can't believe he has the nerve to show his face again.

(The doors of the small craft open and out runs...)

Quint: Mechs! Long time no see!

Needlegal: Quint!?

Shadowman: Yeah, it's Quint.

Quint: Right, introductions all around! Hello. I'm Quint. Hello! Hello! (Grabs Magnet's hand) It's good to meet you, hello!

Magnetman: Erm, hello there.

Quint: Right! And now that we've been properly introduced, it's time for us to go.

Shadowman: "Time for us to go."? You know, the last time I went anywhere with you you sent me back home 15 years too late! My whole team broke up in the meantime!*

(*This happened back in Series 7 #4)

Quint: Well, it seems to have worked itself out, didn't it? (Quint waves his hands at the group) You're all here together, aren't you?

Shadowman: You were 15 years late, man!

Geminiman: Indeed! Everyone thought we were dead.

Quint: Oh, stop your whining. Hey, I saved your lives. You should be thankful for that. Now, look. I'm sorry for dropping you off a little late, but -

Geminiman: "A little late!?"

Quint: BUT the entire world is in trouble here. And I mean the entire world. Something or someone has interjected itself or himself or herself into your past, or rather (Quint points) her past.

Spark Chan: ... me?

Quint: Well, in a way. It was the prior Spark, Musashiden Razz. For instance, do you lot remember the circumstances in which he left the team?

Shadowman: Well...the whole thing ended rather abruptly. Thinking about it actually burns me up a bit.

Needlegal: I remember. It was so wierd. everyone just vanished. One minute we were in the middle of an adventure and the next...they're just gone. I never really felt right about that.

Geminiman: Razz was really hurt when I last saw him. But he must have been well enough to remove his armor.

Quint: You're about to learn the whole story -- stuff you didn't know about, stuff you've never dreamt of.

Spark Chan: Oh my!

Topman: *coughdramaqueencough*

(Quint glares at Topman.)

Quint: Never mind that. Let's just go. Come in!

(Quint enters his small vehicle. Shadowman and Geminiman both sigh and follow him while the other Mechs can only stare, dumbfounded at what they're seeing.)

Hardman: Um, yeah. I think I'm gonna sit this one out. There's no way we're all gonna fit in there. Especially me.

Quint: (While peeking his head out) Well, what are you waiting for? Don't worry. There's room for -

Shadowman: (From inside) Look, don't encourage him. Just come in. It'll be fine.

(The Mechs shrug and follow their leader into the vehicle. With a strange noise it disappears from the room.)


Crorq: (Quickly entering the room from the kitchen, gravy splattered all over his shiny yellow finish) Eh, what?


Crorq: (Smacking Shakeman to the ground) SIIIIIIIIIIILENCE! I'm trying to enjoy second lunch, you IIIIINFIDEL! I have no time for your nonsense. My meal AWAITS!

(Crorq retreats back into the kitchen while Shakeman sits on the floor and rubs at his cheek.)

Shakeman: There really was a thing...


(Over 18 years ago, high above Monsteropolis three beings look over the sprawling multi-faceted city and its many goings-on.)

Woman's Voice: Look at it. It's bursting at the seams. It's perfect!

Man: You're right about that. This does seem like just the place.

Woman: This'll be sweet. I'll pound them into slush!

(The manevolant voice laughes as her henchment took off.)

Woman's Voice: Yes. This will do quite nicely.

(In Monsteropolis most of the Mechanical Maniacs are making their way through the multi-faceted metropolis and one in particular is really enjoying himself.)

Sparkman: Ahhh, the sun is shining and I'm just feeling pumped by all the positive energy!

Magnetman: Uh huh.

Sparkman: Days like today just make you feel glad just to be alive, eh?

Magnetman: Uh huh.

Sparkman: Come on, guys, cheer up! What's the problem?

Needlegal: We're all happy that you're happy, Sparks, we really are. But we can't fully enjoy ourselves because our shadow is stalking us.

Shadowman: Hey!

Needlegal: Not you. HIM!!

Xelloss: Who? Me?

Needlegal: Of course you! What are you doing following us?

Xelloss: Oh my, you mean I'm not invited?

Needlegal: Of course not.

Hardman: That's right.

Xelloss: Ohhhh? As it turns out I'm not following you at all. I just happen to be walking in this direction.

Shadowman: You're up to something.

Xelloss: You always say that. What happened to your trusting nature?

Shadowman: It died at a very early age.

Xelloss: How sad.

Needlegal: Yeah, it's a tragedy. Now, it's all well and good to enjoy the day, but we have supplies to buy. I've asembled lists for everyone. If we all pitch in it shouldn't be a -

(Needlegal notices Shadowman is missing.)

Xelloss: It appears as if Shadowman has gone missing.

Needlegal: ...

Geminiman: Did you hear him? He said -

Needlegal: I KNOW! *sigh*. I don't suppose you'd like to pitch in with buying supplies, Xelloss?

Geminiman: Xelloss disappeared in the middle of your sentence.

Needlegal: Well, at least there's one surefire way of getting rid of him. Trying to get him to help.

Geminiman: We got rid of Topman the same way.

Needlegal: I know.

Geminiman: And Hardman's trying to sneak off right now.

Needlegal: I kn - HARDMAN!

Hardman: Squealer!

Needlegal: Come on, come on. Stop procrastinating. If we all work together we can get this done.

(The Mechs make their way into the local Walmart. There they see the Sinister Six's own Elecman holding a large sign.)

Elecman: Greetings, my mechanical friends.

Snakeman: Hey, Elecman.

Elecman: Now, you weren't thinking of shopping at this establishment, were you?

Snakeman: I'm afraid so, Andon.

Elecman: Don't you realise that Walmart is a soul-crushing, evil corporation? By pricing their merchandise so low they take the difference out of worker pay and production, undermining competition, killing local businesses, forcing jobs out of the country, and lowering standards of employment on a global scale. But worse than that is how...

(Elecman keeps talking as the Mechs' eyes glaze over.)

Snakeman: Uh huh.

(Elecman continues to pontificate.)

Snakeman: Uh huh.

(Elecman continues to speak and stops only when Snakeman collapses from mental exhaustion.)

Magnetman: Raijin!

Elecman: Darn it. That's the seventh time this has happened!

Needlegal: Damn it Raijin, you're not getting out of this that easy! And look, we just want to shop.

Elecman: Well, fine. You shop and if you need assistance be advised that I refuse to step foot into that establishment.

Needlegal: Fine.

Elecman: Fine!

Needlegal: Fine!

(With a huff Needlegal practically drags the team into the store.)

Needlegal: Alright, people. You have a mission. Now scramble!

The Mechs: Yes, Ma'am!

(The Mechs all go off to do their assigned shopping and Geminiman immediately heads to the robotic hygiene section.)

Geminiman: After all, we must keep ourselves looking nice and polished, right?

Geminiman: You said it.

Geminiman: Who says these products are only for lady robots. After all, even men ought to look their best.

Omniman: Now this is just pathetic.

Geminiman: Omniman!?

(Meanwhile, on the rooftops, Shadowman is doing the kind of things he usually does when he skips out on helping the team...)

Shadowman: (With pirated movies and counterfiet software in two bags) Honestly now, why pay full price for the real deal when life presents so many other glorious opportunities. And if I used my advanced ninja skills to obtain these in an "extra-legal" manner then it's only stealing from those who deserve it!

Xelloss: Oh, my. Petty theft from the great leader of the Mechanical Maniacs? How the mighty have fallen.

(Shadowman stops dead in his tracks and tries to hide his surprise...but fails.)

Shadowman: Xelloss!? What are you doing here?

Xelloss: Just slumming, you know how it is.

Shadowman: Oh, whatever. Magnet's the mighty one, I'm the sneaky one!

Xelloss: Oh I see. I suppose dishonesty is an inherent ninja trait.

Shadowman: Obviously.

Xelloss: Actually, it's interesting you'd choose to linger in this particular spot.

Shadowman: ...

Xelloss: Not that anything sinister or annoying will happen as you linger about here.

Shadowman: I hate you. More than words can even describe.

(Meanwhile, on the streets close to Walmart, Geminiman and Omniman have stepped outside...)

Elecman: You know, I'd usually try to stop the violence here, but I think I'll just take a walk. If you get hurt in this foolishness it'll just serve you right, my shiny friend.

(Elecman walks off in a huff as Omniman and Geminiman prepare for battle.)

Omniman: Okay, you. I've actually been waiting for this. A chance to wipe that smug grin off your face.

Geminiman: If I'm smug it's because I have something to be smug about. Unlike yourself. You can't even smile at all.

Omniman: I can smile! In my heart. Where it matters.

Geminiman: Eck.

Omniman: You people...with your faces. All you need are a pair of eyes. Eyes are the window to the soul. But you and your smug mouth don't have any comprehension of that, do you?

Geminiman: Yeah, well, I'd rather have my mouth than your own soulful eyes.

Kid: Are they gonna fight or what?

Guy: I dunno, I think they're just gonna talk.

(The crowd disperses as Geminiman and Omniman continue to trash talk each other. As they do, the present-day Mechanical Maniacs watch from a dark alley...)

Hardman: Are we really gonna watch this snorefest? You said you were looking forward to seeing this?

Geminiman: Snorefest!?

Spark Chan: Well ...

Geminiman: Alright, alright. It seemed cleverer in my head.

Spark Chan: It's often that way.

Geminiman: Thank you, Spark Chan.

Spark Chan: You know. With you. You really don't have to play it up all the time, Gem.

Geminiman: !!

Shadowman: Look, what's the game here, Quint?

Quint: Patience! Patience. You'll know when to leap into action.

(The "fighting" continues. Elsewhere, Topman (having finished his errands much earlier on) has decided to enjoy himself by skating in the park.)

Topman: Sometimes it's just nice to enjoy the day.

???: (Shoving Topman past as he speeds down the pavement) Make way, slowpoke!

Topman: RUDE! (Topman speeds after the mystery robot) HEY! You can't get away with shoving people like that.

???: Whatever, you top-headed wierdo.

Topman: "Top headed wierdo!?" You're asking for this.

(But before Topman can ready an attack, the Spinning Demon slips on some ice. The yellow robot barely has time to stop himself before hiting a large block of ice right before him.)

Topman: Double rude! Gary, I swear to...hey. Knightman!?

(Knightman growls under his breath and shoots icicles at the robot. Topman dodges with a small smile on his face.)

Knightman: What!? Do I look like a man!?

Topman: KnightWoman?

KnightWoman: No!

Topman: KnightGirl?

('Knightman' balls up her fists.)

KnightGirl: No!!

Topman: Oh! Knight-CHAN!

Knight Chan: ARRRRGH! I was gonna give you a chance to give up quietly, but forget it.

Topman: Wait, was this going to be after you explained your whole evil plot? You can still do that, I'll shut up now.

Knight Chan: I SAID FORGET IT!

('Knight Chan' lets loose an inescapable blast of cold air that freezes Topman to the pavement, then teleports away leaving Top stuck but feeling only slightly threatened.)

Topman: Someone needs to lay off the caffeine. Just saying.

Shadowman was still hanging out on the roof as Topman was confronted by the mystery robot.

Shadowman: (To Needle over the phone) No trouble? Well, keep your eyes peeled.

Needlegal: You realize it might all be some obnoxious joke on Xelloss' part to get us all nervous just to ruin our day, right?

Shadowman: I know. I know!

Needlegal: I can tell that it's working.

(The two end their conversation.)

Shadowman: Maybe Xelloss is just trying to get under my skin.

(Immediately after deciding Xelloss was playing mind games with him, Shadowman is knocked back by a powerful laser.)

Shadowman: What the hell!?

Man: That shot was only a warning. You'd best bow before me, peasant.

Shadowman: Coming on rather strong aren't you...King? That is you, right? Despite the pink and white?

King: That's me alright. King!


Shadowman: Something's off about you.

King: "Off!?"I must say that's not a respectful way to address your new ruler.

(In response, multiple Shadowmans appear and throw a barrage of Shadow Blades at the pompous robot.)

Shadowman: Again: coming on a little strong, aren't you?

(King dodges most of the Shadow Blades with ease and fires another laser at Shadowman.)

Shadowman: Just as powerful as the last King I faced. He died, you now. Kings don't have a good track record when they mess with us.

(Shadowman readies another Blade, but finds he can't release it.)

Shadowman: What?

(Shadowman sees his hand attached to the Blade thanks to a large chunk of ice. The ninja has no time to react before he's fully covered in ice.)

Shadowman: Ice - KnightMan!?

King: Ice - KnightMan! *Snort!*

Ice - KnightMan: I hate you all!! Damn it! I'm not a man!

King: It's because you choose to accent yourself in blues, my dear. You're not very ladylike, so it's obvious why you get mistaken for a man whereas my beauty is able to shine through my own customised armor.

Shadowman:'re a girl too?

King: WHAT!?

Ice - KnightMan: *Snort*

King: Such impudence!

Shadowman: Oh, I think I can see the high heels and why you went with pink accents. That armor really hides any curves you might have, you know.

King: You - you really want to be excecuted, don't you?

Shadowman: But if you're a woman, then wouldn't that make you "Queen"? Women can't be kings.

Ice - KnightMan: Oh, here we go.

King: You! You! Chauvinistic pig! A woman can be anything she chooses to be, including a KING! It's not up to you to limit anything I am!

Shadowman: Yeah, but the definition of -

King: Then the definition has changed.

Shadowman: You can't just change the definition of a word based on your own ideas.

King: You have absolutely no right to tell me what I can and can't do. I am King; I am royalty! You're nothing but a common thug.

Shadowman: That's a little harsh.

King: I can be anything I wish and I DECREE that I am a King!

Shadowman: Okay, okay!

King: *Sigh* Now, then. I trust you've sealed off the area?

Ice - KnightMan: That's right. No comments from the peanut gallery. We're ready

(The two leap off the building as Shadowman struggles to free himself.)

Shadowman: This could take a while.

Back outside the Walmart, Geminiman and Omniman continue to battle.

Geminiman: And you look like you were made by Radio Shack.

Omniman: At least that's better than a level and attack pattern with two parts to them. Did it hurt? When that became the standard thing for everyone? When everyone became a "Geminiman"?

Geminiman: Oh! What? What was that!? Well, at least I'm IN a game you...wait, what's this?

(Omniman and Geminiman look around to see the area being partitioned off by large walls of ice.)

Omniman: I see we will have to settle this battle another time, Mech. I have a feeling this bodes ill for the both of us.

Geminiman: Oh no. You don't mean...

Omniman: I'm afraid so. We'll have to actually work together.

Ice - KnightMan: Well, well. Look who it is. Geminiman and...Knightman?

Omniman: What!? I'm not Knightman!

Ice - KnightMan: Oh, really?

Omniman: What about you, Knightgirl?


King: Hah! Well, played Omni. Yes, I've heard of you.

Geminiman: King! You're back! And you...had a sex change?

King: No, I'm not that King, I'm a different King.

Geminiman: That's not confusing at all.

King: Oh, don't you start. (At least you recognised me as a woman).

Sparkman: (Just exiting the store) ♫And I'm just feeling that positive energy!♫ Hey, wait a minute. This isn't one of Gary's pranks, is it?

Omniman: I'm afraid not, Mech.

Sparkman: Omniman!? King!? Knightman!?

Knightman: I'M NOT EVEEN A MAN!

King: OHH hoh hoh hoh hoh!

Sparkman: Oh, man! That laugh is so loud and high-pitched!

(King fires a an X-laser at Sparkman who cancels it out using his Spark Shock.)

King: We've already dealt with your leader, Mech. Coola, put these three on ice.

Coola: Right on, your majesty! Hope you're ready for a little brain freeze.

(Coola lets an ice storm loose on the surprised robots. Omniman feels torn between helping the Mechs and seeing them destroyed...but ultimately uses his Lance Arm against Coola.)

Omniman: This should be an interesting match, Sir Knight.

Coola: Yeah, yeah, yeah (I don't care).

(As Geminiman, Sparkman, and Omniman battle the two mystery robots, Needle, Magnet, and Hard come out from Walmart.)

Needlegal: Sparkman is always rushing off. He's like a child I - What in Wily's smelly lab coat is going on here!?

Geminiman: Just your usual superhero fight. Want in?

Magnetman: Hellz yes! But where's that know-it-all Snakeman? I thought he'd be out here?

Snakeman: (While trapped inside the large wall of ice) Can - can anyone hear me? The ice seems to have shorted my radio. Hello? Helloooooooo?


Snakeman: Crap.

Needlegal: He's probably just sulking somewhere because I wouldn't let him buy his precious Dr Pepper. We're on a budget, people!

Hardman: Is that Omniman!? If you're looking for trouble...

Omniman: Don't look at me. I was just here to shop before Geminiman -- and then the ones called 'King' and 'Coola' -- decided to pick a fight.

Hardman: What, really? That's so mundane.

Omniman: ...was that supposed to be ironic?

King: So, has everyone finished gathering around?

Needlegal: Eh? Wait a second, you're a woman aren't you? Shouldn't you be calling yourself Queen?

King: Oh don't you start! I expected as much from men, but don't you push that on me too.

Needlegal: Okay, okay, sorry!

Coola: I'm sick of all this "you're a woman?" crap we've been getting here. Lemme frost 'em over, your grace. Just say the word.

Magnetman: Wait, you're a girl too?

Coola: I HATE YOU!

King: Now, look. It doesn't HAVE to be this way. Just give us what we're after. We just want your Transmetal Armor. Relinquish it to us and we'll let you go.

Sparkman: Our armor?

Coola: So you're stupid AND deaf? Yeah, we want your armor. And we'd prefer to get it without having to mess it up fighting you jerks.

Needlegal: Oh, we're jerks here!?

King: Well, you are disrespecting a king.

Hardman: You're no king of mine.

Coola: It sounds like the talking part's over.

Needlegal: That's right, Knight Ma'am, talking part's over.

Knight Ma'am: NO! It's Coola! COOLA!!! C-O-O-L-A!

(With a snarl, Coola throws ice at the trapped Mechs.)

King: Remember the plan, Knight Ma'am.

Knight Ma'am: COOLA!

(The Mechs dodge a spray of deadly ice shards as Coola loses it on the team. She starts encasing the entire area in ice and the startled Mechs can do little about it. With a quick reflex Sparkman throws up an electric shield, the heat of which does much to protect himself, Gemini, and Omniman (who are all physically close to each other) from Coola's onslaught). Shortly afetrwards, Coola collapses.)

Sparkman: WOAH!

King: Coola!

Coola: (Huff puff) Okay...I admit it. I lost it a little.

King: Let's regroup.

(King and Coola dash away while Spark, Gemini, and Omni are all getting their bearings. Meanwhile, the Mechs from the present are still watching things unfold from Quint's hidden vessel.)

Snakeman: I've always wondered what happened to those two.

Shadowman: They have a lot to answer for.

Quint: Then let's follow them and find out. But for heaven's sake, don't let them see you!

Topman: Right.

Quint: Or anybody else!

Topman: That'll be a little more difficult.

Quint: Look just...move fast.

Hardman: Yeah, I don't really do "fast."

Quint: Then stay behind and guard the base. Come on, they're getting away.

(The Mechs all rush out the door leaving Hardman inside all by his lonesome.)

Hardman: Wait...I got stuck with guard duty!?

(So it's the Mechanical Maniacs of the present (minus Hardman) following King and Coola (see, got that right!) as they bound through the city. The Mechs stop as they see their quarry meet up with a mysterious woman.)

Quint: Can anyone make out what they're saying? Nobody has super sonic hearing, do they?

Magnetman: No...but Snake, maybe you could...?

Snakeman: Already on it. A snake's on its way.

Shadowman: Hmm, it's a mysterious woman this time. Usually it's a guy.

Needlegal: You know it's been a while since you've been mysterious.

Shadowman: What? I'm plenty mysterious!

Xelloss: Indeed!

All (minus Magnet and Quint): Xelloss!?

Magnetman: "Xelloss?"

Xelloss: Oh, my! Did I catch you by surprise?

Needlegal: Obviously.

Xelloss: And what are we doing today? Spying?

Snakeman: Yes. Spying.

Xelloss: I didn't know you could spy on people through your snakes, Mister Snakeman.

Snakeman: Um...well, I can.

Xelloss: Actually, you all look rather different. What's the occasion?


Needlegal: No occasion! Just gotta keep it fresh.

Xelloss: Really? Hmm.


Magnetman: Uh, is he gonna stand there while we're...

Topman: I'm afraid he is.

Xelloss: Okay, okay. I know when I'm not wanted. I suppose I'll be seeing you all around -

Quint: NO!

Xelloss: No?

Topman: No?

Quint: (Grabs the Mechs into a quick huddle as Xelloss stares in absolute confusion) Now look, he's already seen us. But your other selves are here too. We just have to make sure he think you are them!

Spark Chan: Why?

Quint: Because! Because if he finds out you' know, there could be trouble. Just keep him fooled.

Xelloss: (From a little ways away) ...

(The Mechs turn to face Xelloss and stride closer, all bright and cheery in a creepy "we have nothing to hide" way.)

Xelloss: Say, did you people attain a new Spark and Magnet?

Magnetman: Uh, no! I'm the same Magnet I always was. Just trying out a new style.

Xelloss: And...Mr. Sparkman?

Spark Chan: Um, I'm doing the same. You know.

Xelloss: You're trying out...being a woman?

Spark Chan: Exactly! Everyone knows girls just wanna have fun, right? All that, uh, "positive energy" I have makes me wanna have more fun.

Shadowman: Actually, Xelloss, we're all glad you're here.

Xelloss: You...are?

Shadowman: Yes. YES! Actually, uh, Topman wants your help!

Topman: I do? I do! Right. On what exactly?

Shadowman: On a date, you sly dog, you. And we all know how snappy Xelloss always dresses.

Xelloss: Well. That's true.

Topman: But Xelloss could help you -

Shadowman: Nonsense! Nonsense. We will resume out pointless spying (you know how we are) while you, Topman, will let the very fashionable Xelloss aid you in your date.

Topman: Right. Right. Okay, Xelloss, I guess you're helping me. (Topman grabs Xelloss by the arm and starts dragging him towards the fashion district.)

(As soon as they're both out of earshot the Mechs resume their spying.)

Shadowman: I don't miss him. Not even a little.

Magnetman: You guys seriously just put up with some guy crashin' in here like that?

Snakeman: It's a whole thing. You just really had to be there.

Spark Chan: Never mind about Xelloss. What are they all saying up there?

(Let's listen in, shall we?)

Coola: I just need a little break. Freezing the city is hard work.

Woman's Voice: A break!? You're supposed to be a powerful Robot Master!

Coola: Even I need time to recharge.

Woman's Voice: Are you contradicting me!?

Coola: Nope!

King: I'm not sure their armors are necessary. I think our plan can proceed without them.

Woman's Voice: ...It can, but I still want them. Understand?

King: Right!

Coola: Seriously, we have to go all the way back? We can't fight all of them.

Woman's Voice: (Sigh) Alright, dear. We can just give up on it all.

Coola: No! We can't just give up!

King: I have an idea. Let's go back and try my plan.


Spark Chan: We follow them, right?

Quint: No! We're after the one giving the orders, the one who wants to muck everything up.

Magnetman: Isn't it time you let us know who that is, exactly?

Quint: I don't know who it is. Not exactly.

Magnetman: What?

Quint: Look, she's getting away! We have to go and stop her.

(Meanwhile, the past versions of Needlegal, Magnetman, and Hardman are on the ground, looking for their two attackers...)

Hardman: My joints are so stiff. I don't think we could break out of a situation like that again.

Magnetman: Shut up, Hard. We don't wanna give them any ideas.

Needlegal: I swear, we can't even go shopping these days!

Hardman: Coola and King, eh? The last thing we need are more doubles.

Magnetman: Gotta admit, that Coola's kinda cute, don't you think?

Hardman: No, Mags. No I do not think.

Needlegal: I'm actually still in shock Omniman's decided to go along with us on this.

Magnetman: You aren't the only one.

(Magnetman's shoulders shudder as the temperature quickly drops.)

Magnetman: Say isn't it getting a little cold out here?

Needlegal: It's Knight Chick!

Knight Chick: (From somewhere unseen) It's Coola! COOLA!

Hardman: I'll getcha! (Hardman quickly aims his Knuckle and fires in the direction of the voice.)

Coola: Hah! Missed me by a mile, ya big lug!

Needlegal: What's your problem, lady?

Coola: With you? Very little. But we planned to take down one of you shmuck teams. May as well be you, right?

Hardman: You know, it's actually starting to get real cold here.

Needlegal: Hey! If you want to fight, I'm game. Come down and fight like a girl!

Coola: Ohhhhh, no. You three can just chill out down there. Hee hee hee!

Magnetman: How about you just come down and warm up in my arms.

Needlegal: Dammit, Mags, don't flirt with the enemy!

Coola: I'm just going to ignore that nonsense.

Magnetman: !? *heartbroken*

(The Mechs desperately scramble to find Coola while they can still move, but it isn't long before all three are immobilized in blocks of ice.)

Coola: That's six. Just gotta catch up to those last two that ran off before any of the others thaw out. This has been easier than we thought.


Hardman: "Guard duty." PLEASE! As if I'm just gonna stick around to guard the base.

(Hardman glances around the area. In his brooding he got on several buses and took a very long walk and wound up in a far off area. Noticing how far he was Hardman looks around and sees a sign. As if from the heavens. But, no. Just a large sign on a building.)

Hardman: Oh, hello! "Hardman's Bar", eh? If that isn't an invitation, I don't know what is.

(Hardman walks into the familiar establishment as a feeling of nostalgia washes over him.)

Hardman: (Thought) Ahhh, yeah. I remember this place. A place where the good guys and the bad guys could just sit down and have a cup o' Joe. Sometimes you gotta go ... ♪ where everybody knows yer name~! ♪

Cassandra: Hadrian!

Hardman: (Thought) ♪ And they're always glad you came~! ♪

Cassandra: HADRIAN!

Hardman: YES! Yes, that's me. I'm Hadrian, also known as Hardman. Of the Mechanical Maniacs. The only Mega Man 3 team that counts. There's only one Hardman and that's me.

Cassandra: What's with the new look?

Hardman: Just something I'm trying out.

Cassandra: ... What's wrong with your voice?

Hardman: Huh? *cough cough* (speaks through the lower part of his throat) S'ry. Jus' had a frog in m' throat.

Cassandra: Yeah, apostrophes, that's what I'm used to. I thought you had the day off.

Hardman: Y'know me, Cass. This is mah fav'rite place.

Gag: Pops! I told you, I could handle things by myself.

Hardman: ("Pops"?) M'sure ya can. I jus' wanted ta swing by fer a drink. Y'know how (uh) Needle c'n get. So bossy. Jus' wanted t'unwind.

Gag: Yeah, okay. Care for a dink, Pops?

Hardman: Wouldn't mind if I do.

Spinman: Hey, look who it is! The big lug himself.

Hardman: Yeah! Dat's me!

Spinman: Nice job on the place, Hard!

Clawman: Yeah, man. I sure do appreciate it.

Chimeraman: (Whispering) We're gonna take off without paying, right?

Spinman: (Whispering) What? No, dude! Not cool.

Clawman: (Whispering) Yeah, that just ruins the place for all of us.

Zed: (Bursting through the door) Barkeep! A round of drinks for the Quarter Knights!

Boomerang: (Sigh) Do you have to make a scene, Zed?

Zed: What?

Gag:'s starting to get busy in here. Little help, Pops?

Hardman: (Smiles) Sure, kid.

(Elsewhere, along an abandoned road on the outskirts of the city, Geminiman, Sparkman, and Omniman keep moving. But where are they going?)

Sparkman: That's where I'd like to know! It's hard to keep that positive energy flowin' if I don't know where we're headed!

Geminiman: Yes, Omni, please do tell us where you're leading us.

Omniman: You'll see, you'll see ...

(Geminiman's eyes narrow.)

Geminiman: Why all the mystery?

Omniman: Just come on!

Sparkman: Omni, can't you just tell us where we're going?

Omniman: Well...we're heading back to Wily's fortress.

Geminiman, Sparkman: WHAT!?

Omniman: It's the safest place from these people!

Sparkman: That plan's nuts.

Omniman: But all of Wily's creations should work with him. We've been working well together in this adventure, so perhaps...

Sparkman: That's a little too positive, even for me.

Geminiman: Precicely. Don't you know the horrible things Wily did to us? Just speaking of myself, When Wily heard of my great abilities playing video games he kidnapped me, made my a cyborg, and erased my memories all so he could -

Omniman: Yes, yes, we're all aware of your backstory, Lennon, but -

(Before Omniman could further put Lennon down he was shot by King's X-laser. Omniman was unprepared for the blast and reeled as it hit him with full force.)

Sparkman: I guess jerks numbers one and two are back.

(Several other blasts come out form nowhere and hit both Spark and Geminiman.)

Sparkman: Gah! This is so uncool.

Geminiman: What a cowardly attack.

King: (King comes out from behind a corner and smirks) Whatever works.

(King's eyes glow red. Gemini's, and Spark's follow suit.)

Sparkman: What's going on? My positive energy's all outta whack.

King: Just a little will suppression technique I know. Neither of you can stand up to me. And in time nor will anyone in this world.

Omniman: We will stop you, false monarch.

King: I actually have nothing against you, Omni. Just leave. NOW.

(Omniman glances at the Mechs.)

Omniman: Really? Then why have you been attacking me? What lies do you tell me!?

King: You just happened to be there and decided to attack us. But, really, you can leave at any time.

Geminiman: You're not just going to leave us like this? What about your honor?

Omniman: There's no honor in helping your sworn foes unnecessarily.

Geminiman: You're just making things up to suit yourself.

Omniman: However you choose to see it, Mech. Good luck.

(Omniman seems to smile and teleports away. Geminiman and Sparkman can only look on as they are held by King's power.)

Geminiman: Omniman!

King: Oh, that's rich. So long, Omniman. Maybe we'll see each other later when we dispatch this loser team and take it for ourselves.

What's going on here? Can the Mechs of the past truly be held by King's power? And what about the Mechs of the present? And what happened to Sparkman in the past that caused him to disappear? Find out in part two!

To Be Continued

Cast (the past):

Musashiden Razz as .....
Raijin as .....
Psycho Magnet as .....
Hadrian Howell as .....
    Nightmare as .....
Lennon as .....
Jonathan S. as .....
Gauntlet as .....


Cast (the present):

Classi Cal as .....
Spark Chan
Raijin as .....
Psycho Magnet as .....
Ben as .....
    Nightmare as .....
Lennon as .....
Sheriff (Kassidy) Mags as .....
Gauntlet as .....


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