That One That Shoulda Just Been Part Of That Last One
By
Gauntlet (Shadowman)
(So the Mechs are cops working under Crorq. Again. Except now the supercomputer has kicked out Kenta and Hadrian.)
Spark Chan: Greeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaat.
(Omniman and Golemman attack the Robot Prison.)
Golemman: For money!
Omniman: *sigh* I miss fighting for a cause.
Artilleryman: Whiner.
Mesmerman: Can I be Magnet? No, wait, Sparks! No, wait, Magnet!
Shadowman: No.
Mesmerman: Now, wait, both!
Shadowman: NO!
Mesmerman: Can I be on the Evil Eight?
Omniman: Sure!
Mesmerman: I want to be Omni and Golemman.
Omniman: What? NO!
Crorq: So, new member, new member ... Pikachu I choose (Crorq points his finger in a random direction) .... you!
Hardman: Heya, guys! It's yer old pal Ben!
Topman: So you kick out Kenta and Hadrian because you don't think you can control them and you replace one of them with a guy who's known for his uncontrollable rampages!?
Crorq: He's also a guy who's from the future! Surely that's can be made useful. Surely ... ?
Hardman: I don't know crap about crap. I'm not a tech head and my own timeline was destroyed.
Crorq: Well, shit.
Spark Chan: I guess you didn't know I was also Web Spider on the X-Force.
Crorq: Well, SHIT! You're right I did not know that. I guess my first freebie was wasted. Let's try that again. Here's your new Magnetman!
Magnetman: Greetings, gents.
Needlegal: You're a cowboy?
Magnetman: I most surely am.
Shadowman: But .... you're already Magnetman.
Magnetman: I can be both Magnet and Cowboy themed. I have a strong love of the law and justice and an affinity of the rough ways of the wild west.
Crorq: Which will make him very loyal to I, the establisher of law and distributer of ultimate justice.
Magnetman: And I have all the wit and charm of Doc Holliday. (smiles smugly)
Shadowman: I, uh, don't know who that is. That won't be a problem, will it?
(Magnetman visibly deflates.)
Geminiman: So which Ben are you? The clone that died heroically fighting his son as Fireman of the Sinister Six? Or the original who joined the Scissor Army, was remade into a plutonium fuelled junkie, and died unheroically in space during the War?
Hardman: Uh ...
Shadowman: Why not both?
Hardman: Yeah both!
Crorq: Using advanced technology and my MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGNIFICENT genius, I managed to salvage Fireman and splice him into the original Heatman. So Hardman gets to reference all the Sinister Six stories people care about while still feeling like a tool for his actions as Heatman. It's win-win!
Pyro: I can also change into a fiery Tails known as Pyro Da Fox! The embodiment of fun and childhood whimsy! Nobody knows my secret!
(Shadowman casts Pyro a withering glare.)
Hardman: Uh ... in Ben-penned adventures only of course.
Crorq: Also, a warm welcome my cool new assistant: Shakeman! I love this guy.
Shakeman: I just want to help out as best I can.
(Crorq knocks Shakeman off a building.)
Shakeman: AHHHHHH! Why!?
Crorq: All this is nice, but I miss the unchecked power i had during the War. Hmmmmmmmm.
Tornadoman: Say, is anyone else having trouble with their weapon systems?
(The Wily Rescue Force attacks as the RPD's weapons are down.)
Doc Robot: Attack, Wily Return Force!
Needlegal: I guess you guys didn't live up to the old name, so a name change makes sense.
Expressman: Shut up!
(Expressman attacks Needlegal, but he's weak to her weapon and winds up getting captured.)
Doc Robot: But I've managed to capture Hard, Sparks, and Shadow.
Crorq: Not if I have anything to say about it! (Crorq fixes the weapon-disabling virus, allowing the Mechs to beat the WRF.)
Geminiman: That was convenient.
Snakeman: What's not convenient is that break in at that Energy Processing Plant. On the upside it looks like R&D made new armour for all of us to go with Mags and Hard.
Spark Chan: Why don't we all get upgraded now?
Snakeman: They're waiting until we run our old armours into the ground. Anyway, I'm a hacker now! No more foul, cursed firearms for me.
Geminiman: The workers who broke into that plant used holograms -
Shadowman: Nothing compared to mine, of course
Geminiman: Yeeeeeeeaaaaaaaah. Well, they got them from somewhere. I think they're related to the Catch 22 hacker group.
Crorq: Yes, that group that's always been a problem, but has never mentioned before now. Could be them.
Shadowman: They were definitely using Wily tech.
Crorq: Pit-i-ful fools! Wilytech isn't uncommon. Anyway, everything gets confiscated in the end and thrown into the vaults.
Topman: Oh yeah, the vaults! Definitely a thing that existed before now.
Needlegal: Cops need evidence lockers. Wily's tech has to go somewhere. My God. It fits perfectly into canon.
Crorq: I can feel my immense intellect growing lower just speaking to you. Just go, if only to end all this bothersome exposition.
(The Mechs all go to the strange facility.)
Shadowman: Yep. This place was robbed. Maybe it was Catch 22.
Spark Chan: Uh, guys? The GutsDozer has just been eaten.
(Wild END DEVIL appears!)
Hardman: I GOT IT!
(Hardman fired his Knuckle and it just gets eaten by the End Devil.)
Hardman: Aw, it ate my hand! I'm not gonna get that back, am I?
Needlegal: It's eating my helmet!
(Needlegal disconnects her headpiece, but drops of the corrosive creature make contact with Needlegal.)
Needlegal: Well, crap.
Magnetman: Dang it, neither magnets nor bullets have any effect!
Topman: And tops are just getting eaten.
Spark Chan: But - hey hey! Electricity does the trick.
Shadowman: Spark Chan! Use thunderbolt!
End Devil: END! DEEEEEEEVIL!
(End Devil tries to eat everyone. Spark Chan gets her foot cut off by an over ambitious Shadowman trying to save her and winds up with some End Devil gunk in her leg, eating it from the inside. But, with the power of teamwork, the End Devil is defeated.)
Plugman: Thanks to a last minute assist from the Sterling Sentinels!
Concreteman: You're welcome.
Snakeman: I did all the planning for that thing's defeat, but we didn't find anything else useful.
Crorq: So all that and there's no evidence of a crime. All of that "stolen" tech was likely eaten by that End Devil thing. TEN POINTS FROM THE MECHS!
Shadowman: AW, COME ON!
Galaxyman: The Council is coming! The Council is coming!
Splash Woman: Shut up, Galaxy! God.
Geminiman: Crorq sure seems sure that he can protect everyone since he stopped the Wily Return Force from taking over the city.
Topman: I know. Doesn't he know that this is the worst place they could possibly go? With the Wily Underground having a resurgence and all?
Spark Chan: Despite that it sure is exciting that the Galactic Council is coming. As everyone knows they're basically kings of the whole universe!
Magnetman: Since when?
Shadowman: Since now, apparently.
Needlegal: Wait, why do Snake and Spark get all-new armour and all I get is a lousy hat!?
Magnetman: Budget cuts?
Needlegal: I got ripped off! Someone dies for this.
Fabergé Egg Man: Hello, everyone. Remember us?
Rolls Royce Man: We were from a funny old Youtube video!
Diamond Man: I never thought we'd be anything more than a one-note cameo.
S. Schwartz: And I never though an entire storyline would come out of the blatant plagiarism of my old "Official Guide to Megaman" book.
Crorq: Oh, you have no idea.
K. Watson: Why do you think we look so different from the other Council members? And why is Terra the only one with a sprite?
Terra: It can't man that some of us are more important than others, could it?
S. Schwartz: Now, Terra, you are a very important member of the team. Don't underestimate yourself just because you're represented by a sprite.
Terra: Yeeeeeeeaaaaahhhhhhhhhh.
Omniman: Seems like we have a job, Golem. Our client wants Energen to stay scarce and the Council is here to magically fix that problem!
K. Watson: We're not.
Omniman: We must attack!
Golemman: Golem like fighting!
Omniman: By the way, we're recruiting new members and if anyone's interested -
(Hardman decks Omniman.)
Hardman: Nobody is! Or ever will be!
Crystalgirl: The Ascendant Androids are also attacking!
Scissor Joes: Kill now, for Elysium awaits!
Doc Robot: Me here too! Me here too!
Barrageman: Unit Barrageman appreciates bit role! Unit Barrageman knows there are no small parts, only small robots!
Starman: And they finally have a redesigned me on their team, bringing them up to a full eight members! Hello, World! A star is born!
Geminiman: Why didn't General Cutman make you during the big war in the first place?
Starman: How am I supposed to answer that? I wasn't even around!
Geminiman: But he had time to make every single other Mega Man 5 Robot Master along with many others.
Starman: Maybe the armour he based the designs from was in use?
Geminiman: So, what? He couldn't just figure something out? A guy with a genius intellect? Gotta say, it always struck me as odd.
Starman: Maybe it was just an oversight! I'm here now, let it go! God!
Geminiman: Actually, how did the Ascendant Androids get back into the game at all? Weren't they in ... hey, you're the one who hired Omni, Golem, and Arty to attack the Robot Prison!
Starman: Good guess, Sherlock.
(In the ensuing chaos the Galactic Council's ship is destroyed and Crorq makes a point about needing more political powers.)
Fabergé Egg Man: I can't believe I'm in here with these commoners.
Rolls Royce Man: We'll just have to slum it, old boy.
Honus Wagner Card Man: The things we must put up with in our service for others ...
(Shadowman and Geminiman also get their Transmetal 3 armours since their armours get damaged in the ensuing battle.)
Geminiman: Waking up after a fight has never felt so good.
Shadowman: Let's just cool it on the redesigns from here on out, alright?
Needlegal: You know, Crorq's pretty happy with all this. Hmmmmmmmmmm...
It's Sunday.
The streets are shining and the buildings are glistening in our multi-levelled, multi-faceted city. It's a great day, possibly heralding even greater things.
All of a sudden, and without any prior buildup, we reveal that there's an energy shortage. Yes, energy's become the number one resource in this world, overtaking even cold, hard cash.
Topman: Wait, since when?
Magnetman: Since right now.
The Mechanical Maniacs have convened around their grotesque boss, the supercomputer Crorq, to obtain a new mission which will no doubt -
Hardman: What's with the narration? Was this in a completely different format before?
Shadowman: Look, this story held things up for months and I'll be damned if it's going to waste!
Magnetman: *humph*
Crorq: Are you people done with your insufferable meta-commentary yet? Do you actually think anyone will be entertained by such insufferable prattle?
Shadowman: They might be a little.
Crorq: Shut up as I summarize your mission! A mining colony on Io has been acting up lately. We sent a team to investigate it, but they're gone dark. Now it's time for my least favourite team of expendable assets to go out there and fix whatever broken.
Shadowman: NO!
Crorq: Wh-what was that unfamiliar word? It sounds like something I might say, but is completely unrecognizable coming from an inferior.
Shadowman: This is totally out of our jurisdiction.
Needlegal: You're just earning brownie points for the Council, aren't you?
Crorq: Four teams and the Stardroids were already sent out. Interested yet?
Snakeman: What? But the Stardroids are personal enforcers for the Council, what could be stopping them?
Shadowman: It seems we might have a responsibility to -
Crorq: That's a "yes". Goodbye and good luck.
(Later, exposition is shared.)
Shadowman: Maybe those Stardroids will give us some dirt on the Council once we help them.
Snakeman: Crorq's teleporting somewhere too. I think he's having some high level talks with the Council.
Shadowman: He's probably up to unspecified evil too.
Snakeman: Well, obviously!
Needlegal: The Council's stuck here on Earth because, despite having Mining Colonies and a whole Galactic Council, I guess the homeworld just doesn't do space travel much? So how are we gonna get there?
Galaxyman: Using space ships I cobbled together in a week! See, they were based off the old Rush Space Ship applied to Friender (you know, the dog from Woodman's stage). For some reason the Council *swoons* never returned my calls when I tried showing these to them.
Spark Chan: We're travelling in a space ship made of spare parts? Is this really the life I missed during the 15 year gap?
Needlegal: We're all gonna die.
(Despite the subpar spacecraft, the Mechs travel all the way to the mining station.)
Mars: Don't come near me! AHH! AHH!
Spark Chan: (tazering the crazed Mars) Spaz.
(The team splits up to investigate the creepy colony.)
Needlegal: What do you think happened to the other teams that came here?
Shadowman: The other what?
Venus: They died, forget about them.
Hardman: With pleasure.
Mercury: Everyone's going nuts. One by one ...
Pluto: They're all crazy...
Saturn: Out to get me, all out to get me ...
Needlegal: What is with these people!? What was the whole deal with this place anyway?
Uronus: The full details of the mining station and our roles are ... A SECRET!
Shadowman: LAME!
Snakeman: Apparently this place was mining Energen.
Venus: Erm, what? Heh heh, no it didn't.
Snakeman: LIAR! Anyway, it seems this virus makes robots go berserk at first, but it eventually leads to depression and suicide later.
Topman: HEAVY!
Spark Chan: Those poor souls.
Mercury: Buncha whiners! Anyway, I told you all that!
Snakeman: But it was Ra Moon that created the virus!
(Ra Moon wakes up from his long nap.)
Ra Moon: Oh, I'm in the story now? Can't I sleep in for a little longer?
Shadowman: No.
Ra Thor: THE GREAT RA MOON CAN SLEEP WHENEVER AND HOWEVER LONG HE LIKES! PRAISE BE TO RA MOON!
Geminiman: I won't let you destroy Ra Moon!
Hardman: I won't either. Heh heh heh.
Snakeman: I'll hack into Ra Moon and finally stop ... wait, what?
Roboenza Virus: SURPRISE! Bet you're glad to see me. Just kidding, I know you're not. Because I'm going to mess you all up!
Spark Chan: That's the virus that's been making everyone go nuts?
Roboenza Virus: (blushes)
Geminiman: It turns out that Ra Moon survived Megaman's attack and has been helping the Galactic Council the entire time in secret. Apparently "Catch 22" sent the Roboenza Virus here to drive everything nuts. Ra Moon and Ra Thor isolated the station in order to keep the virus at bay. As to why he didn't do more ...
Ra Moon: I just didn't feel like it.
(The Mechs chance the Roboenza virus and destroy it. After much cajoling Ra Moon helps everyone get back to Earth. He's very lazy and petulant about it.)
Ra Thor: SUCH INSOLENCE!
Terra: Good job, Ra Moon. Welcome to the Galactic Council!
Crorq: What!?
Ra Moon: This doesn't involve more work, does it?
Terra: You can delegate that to Ra Thor.
Ra Thor: SUCH HONOR!
Terra: Crorq, Honus Wagner Card Man has disappeared. Get on that will you?
Crorq: HUMBUG!
Topman: After all that I'm still not damaged enough to get my new armour!?
Hardman: I'll help you with that ol' buddy, ol' pal!
(Topman is beaten within an inch of his life by Hardman.)
Topman: Th-thanks ... "buddy" ...
The Mechs are all, finally, in their upgraded new armour! Just in time for Geminiman's old ghost friends to come back and give him an earful. Wait, what?
Bongun: Asshole! It's been 15 years! Where have you been!?
Geminiman: What? Who are you!?
Bongun: How can you not remember me? You'd think you encounter ghosts all the time. 15 years ago, during a zombie attack you came to my old castle with Needlegal. During which you ruined my home and pressed my fiancée Munak, my servant Sohee, and myself into your service at your "Paranormal Investigations Unit."
Geminiman: Wait, an ancient Chinese kingdom was in the area of Monsteropolis? I thought we were based in the US.
Bongun: Stinking surface dweller! You know nothing of history or geography.
Geminiman: Clearly.
Bongun: And then you got us mixed up in some haunted video cassette nonsense that was sort of like the movie the Ring with Spark Chan. Sohee absorbed the vengeful spirit of Sadako Yamamura that haunted the video to solve that case! And then the War happened and you just disappeared! You disappeared and now I'm the only one left, you shit.
Geminiman: Geez, I'm not that much of a shit. How could I have forgotten all that?
Spark Chan: The War derailed everyone's plans and you just lost track of it until Gauntlet, being unable to let it go, decided to wrap it all up himself many years later?
Geminiman: I need an in-continuity explanation, Sparks. It's so weird that I just forgot all this and that none of the Mechs could see any supernatural anything in all this time. We can use this old VHS copy of the Ring - I mean Sadako's cursed video to bring that half here.
Needlegal: And the dirt and bricks from their old castle to bring the Sohee half here.
Sohee: (attacks the group) You want me, you got me! I'm Evil Sohee now!
Geminiman: Oh, grow up.
Sohee: Okay. (Becomes Good Sohee.)
Needlegal: Remember guys, we're the law and we have to follow procedures.
Spark Chan: Since when do we care about that?
Needlegal: Since this scene only. To that end we need some excuse to get into that privately owned building.
Artilleryman: (Attacking the building and entering it illegally) Kill now, for money awaits!
Geminiman: Paying Artilleryman to attack so we can follow him. Brilliant.
Xelloss: (old and still trapped in his glass prison) ... now.
...
Xelloss: OH! Mister Geminiman, you're finally here!
Geminiman: Xelloss!?
Spark Chan: Look at these voodoo dolls made from bits of our armour. He has us all here - and Crorq too, and other important people. So this is why we couldn't remember Bongun or see him before! But we've changed armour since then and I guess that means this spell is broken.
Xelloss: It was all a large plot to capture me and steal my life force away.
Mr. Holzenbein: And I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you pesky robots!
(The groups fights Mr. Holzenbein who had, by this time, siphoned much of Xelloss' life force granting him great power. Still, it wasn't enough to defeat Players 1 and 2. However, it came at the cost of Bongun's and Sohee's lives. Afterlives. Whatever.)
Spark Chan: Goodbye, my friends. I'll remember you as the one-off characters you were.
Xelloss: Thank you for the rescue. Even if I'm too drained to go on living.
Geminiman: I think you owe me a favour, Xelloss.
Xelloss: If I live, sure.
Geminiman: Piss off. Forever.
Xelloss: Glad to.
Needlegal: And so ends an excessively long crossover character's stay in our series.
Shadowman: I'm gonna miss him!
Geminiman: At least that Holzenbein guy is dead.
Terra: Holzenbein, I like the cut of your jib. I'm so glad you survived that terrorist attack on your building because I'd like to make you a member of the Galactic Council.
Mr. Holzenbein: I'm in!
Geminiman: Well, shit.
In another revived story Topman goes on a solo adventure.
Topman: Man, this place is a real drag lately. I miss the good old days when we were carefree.
Shadowman: Clean your room, young man!
Topman: You used to be cool. What happened to you?
Shadowman: This is a non-Gauntlet story, that's what! Anyway, time for our team meeting! Everyone, gather 'round! Our next cases are weird. Two deaths. The only commonality is their position and they're mysteriousness. There's nothing to go on. Gemini found no mystical problems (since I guess, he's magic now?) or teleportation activity. No motive either, of course. One victim has plenty of motive - total scumbag. The regular sort of victim is just dead in a locked room with nothing pointing as to the how. Totally nice guy, apparently.
Spark Chan: One victim's autopsy revealed that the man's body was low on a protein called keratin, which is a substance that strengthens and hardens the skin. His skin became so keratin-deficient that it became thin like paper. On top of that, his body wasn't producing the elastic proteins that give skin its elasticity. So... well, eventually, when he moved ...
Needlegal: Yikes!
Spark Chan: The doctors said there is a super virus that did all this. The other body seems to have had no reason to die at all.
Geminiman: Something magical was altered on that victim.
Hardman: If it's alright I'm gonna take off and sulk.
Topman: Holy shit, you're a suck. Were you always such a sucky suck? Because you mope more than Waveman on Valentine's day.
Hardman: FUCK YOU!
(Shadowman and Magnetman intervenes in what would have been Topman's death.)
Magnetman: RUDE!
Shadowman: Explain yourself, young man!
Topman: Geez, why did I say such a horrible thing? And, uh, lately I've been feeling really murdery. AH HAH! It must be Mesmerman!
Needlegal: As someone who was controlled by Mesmerman before what you're describing sounds more like you're going legit insane and less like -
Topman: Nope, it's Mesmerman! He's gotten past our firewalls and is influencing me.
Shadowman: Agreed! I mean ... come on. It's so obvious. But that's second priority to this murder case. Mesmer's gonna be Mesmer, yaknow? It's a slow burn and now that we know we'll be ready. Meanwhile, these viruses are an imminent threat.
The very next day 27 people have died from the Keratin Accelerated Deficiency Epidemic - the KADE virus.
Shadowman: See? Okay, guys, time to split up and investigate.,
Spark Chan: All our investigations turned up nothing.
Shadowman: Dammit.
Snakeman: If this thing is bio-engeneered maybe we should investigate where it came from?
Magnetman: That's a Magnet of an idea, Snake! It has to be emerGEnesis! They came around only a few years ago, grew quickly and just so happen to have their largest facility right here in Monsteropolis.
Shadowman: Ah, like the title of the story. Good deduction, Mags. Alright, Snake, Mags, Needle - break in and grab any evidence you can find - bandit style!
Needlegal: Wait! In the last story I used Artilleryman as a clever ploy to gain access to Mr. Holzenbein's head office. Don't we care about the law and warrants and building a solid case?
Shadowman: Heh. Needle, oh, Needle. This is why I'm the leader and you're not. No, we do this bandit style! It's my ninja way. Crorq can find a way to spin this, that's basically all he's good for.
While the other Mechs investigate Gemini, Shadow, and Topman go through a maze like cavern.
Shadowman: Finally. We finally get to justify that Shadow Hunters card we've been using all these years.
Topman: That's the entire point of this story being revived, isn't it!?
Shadowman: Hush! You'll spoil the magic.
Geminiman: His name is Ha'Khael. Or at least he has given himself that name. Any other he once held would be long forgotten by now, with the rest of the Blessèd Childryn he was borne from. Several centuries ago, when magicks were more openly practiced, spells were much like heritage, a legacy passed down among kin much like wealth was. There was one particular clan that possessed a rare ability they called the Healing Hand- white mages, as we would call them now... perhaps even the very first. They were an especially religious family, even for the time. They saw their gift of magic as a calling from God to do his work on the mortal plane, and they traveled from town to town lending their powers and aid to the sick and injured wherever it was needed.
But somewhere along their travels, a new discovery was made by the clan. They learned that, in more concentrated energies, their magicks could not only restore the injured or diseased body to health, but could even revitalize cells that were affected by age and use- in other words, regress the aging process. By rationing the limit of their powers into a daily ritual, they could forestall natural death indefinitely, and become immortal. To the elders of the clan, this was seen as heresy: not only did it defy God's plan of the cycle of death and life, but it was a selfish use of a power that should be shared with those whose need was greater, more immediate. But the younger mages grew defiant, and broke from the clan to form their own sect, which they called the Blessèd Childryn. Their doctrine was that God had blessed them with their gifts and their new enlightenment so that they might create a New Eden where Time would hold no sway, and they might stay forever young. Presumably they went into isolation at this point, because no news came of the Blessèd Childryn, or their New Eden, until their demise.
You see, while age and disease were no threat to them, they were still vulnerable to attack. I expect this is why they hid from the world- how many conquerors would hunt down this New Eden to usurp the secrets within? Only one being has ever come upon the Gates of New Eden, and here begins the story of Ha'Khael. He is a mischief demon though much more sophisticated than any I've encountered. Really, most mischief demons are pretty pathetic when left to their own devices, usually settling as the lackey of some higher Demon Lord. But Ha'Khael was different. His malice and his ambition are far greater than any I've encountered. Upon discovering the hidden utopia, Ha'Khael found an incomparable opportunity to wreak havoc. Hiding in the shadows he watched the Blessèd Childryn, and waited, and whispered dark thoughts into their ears. Any sensible mage would have recognized the threat and dispelled him immediately, but the Blessèd Childryn were deranged by their own zeal. The truths he spoke to them, they believed to be prophetic, and he was believed to be a harbinger of God's Will. With every word he spoke, he wove his dark intent into them.
Eventually, after what may have been lifetimes of subjection to his malice and his cunning, one of the Childryn fell to utter madness. Blinded by his dementia, he spilled the blood of his brethren and burned New Eden's gardens at little more than Ha'Khael's suggestion. When all were dead, the horror and shock of what he'd done snapped him back into reality, and in learning what he'd done, in his tortured and broken state, he renounced his faith in God, rewarding Ha'Khael with the ultimate prize. No demon may possess a body if overcome by the purity of a baptized soul, and no holy mage has ever renounced their faith before or after the coming of the Blessèd Childryn, so Ha'Khael has become the only demon who has ever had access to those magicks. He has used the Blessèd Childryn's ritual for centuries to preserve his agility and his strength, and the White Light that flows through his host makes exorcism impossible. He's the closest a demon of the lower plane has ever come to immortality.
Shadowman, Topman: ...
Geminiman: ...
Shadowman, Topman: ...
Geminiman: tldr: We're meeting a powerful demon called Ha'Khael. He is forced to tell the truth, but he can spin it on its head to make it into any lie he wants. He can't outright kill you and when given the Summons he must return to the Gates of the Lower Plane to be sentenced to servitude, as payment for the privilege of walking the mortal plane.
Shadowman, Topman: ooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Geminiman: We, uh, met before and I destroyed a charm of his that made him invisible to -
Topman: Nobody cares.
Ha'Khael: Greetings, everyone. I'm trying to be good now, so I'll help you. Gemini probably missed a few things being new to the mystic arts.
Geminiman: *mumble grumble*
Ha'Khael: But you have to help me repair that amulet you destroyed so I can walk around without my fellow demons coming for me.
Geminiman: Yes, in that adventure that totally happened. It wasn't made up to fill a plot hole at all.
Ha'Khael: And I super duper swear to return the charm to you and not betray you.
Shadowman: And you have to tell the truth. Hm. Well, I guess I have to take that as true.
(They repair that charm and investigate some corpses.)
Ha'Khael: AH-HAH! They lack their souls. Completely: they are gone without a trace. I'm sure Geminiman would have seen this if he wasn't a total newbie. And that's how they died.
Geminiman: *humph*
Needlegal: We're back from emerGEnesis. Turns out they don't do anything there. Like, literally! It's all just smoke and mirrors.
Shadowman: Bull. You guys just suck!
Snakeman: God damn it!
Geminiman: You think it could be Holzenbein?
Snakeman: Could be Xelloss.
Topman: Oh, it's obviously Mesmerman! He's messing with my head, remember? He could have learned how to extract souls and be killing just for kicks.
Shadowman: *sigh* Topman, you're going nuts with this Mesmerman crap.
Topman: You agreed with me!
Shadowman: I guess I was humouring you? Now stay in your room and think over what you've done, young man. Because Hardman's going to be your babysitter tomorrow.
Topman: WHAT!?
Hardman: I ain't a fan of it either.
(Hard and Top clear the air and Hard admits that past events have weighed on him.)
Hardman: I started out as the uncontrollable Magma Dragoon. My illegitimate kid was captured and brainwashed by Red right before he destroyed my timeline and half of my friends with it. I was forcibly reincarnated as Heatman and enslaved by Wily, forcibly cloned as Fireman, sacrificed myself to kill my son who General Cutman corrupted further and the 'real' me tried to go out in a blaze of glory only to be enslaved by General Cutman and blown up for good measure. Then I was revived and enslaved by Crorq and all of my old friends are either dead or scattered to the winds.
Topman: Shit. No wonder you're depressed.
(Topman investigates another soul-theft victim and has to team up with Ha'Khael.)
Ha'Khael: Your name is stupid.
Topman: Your face is stupid.
Ha'Khael: Oh, these victims aren't afraid. They're awed. Neat! Actually, now that I see what I'm looking for, this is child's play. Still above Gemini's level, of course, but still even a child could do it.
Geminiman: Grrrr....
Ha'Khael: The deaths are a side-effect. What would cause these people to look on in awe? Seeing God.
Hardman: What, Kami? The good half of Piccolo?
Ha'Khael: What? No!
Topman: What about Unicron?
Hardman: Could be the almighty platypus.
Topman: You made that up. Just now.
Ha'Khael: GAH! The point is that's likely what they thought they saw. Our murderer tricked these people into thinking they were seeing God and so, they gave up their souls willingly.
Topman: But what if he's atheist?
Ha'Khael: Then he'd see Darwin or Steve Jobs! Just go with it. Geez. Anyway, this spell starts as a seed and then grows.
Hardman: Almost like a ... virus ...
Ha'Khael: Riiiiiiiiiiiight. And the souls of the KADE victims were also removed, likely after death.
Topman: So the oddball cases, both coming out of nowhere, both oddly assigned to us turn out to be related? So weird!
Geminiman: The murderer sees it as saving them from the pain and suffering of death.
Ha'Khael: Right.
(Ha'Khael rips out the victim's spine to use as a mystical divining rod.)
Ha'Khael: Let's go.
Snakeman: Meanwhile my own investigations into emerGEnesis hasn't been going that well. They were founded by a guy named Adam Everett. Wealthy, reclusive, your standard rich eccentric. But I'm thinking that if he's funding this whole operation, if he's somehow involved with the creation of KADE, then we're going to see some interesting activity in his account statements. The only problem is the legality of the whole thing. Shadow hasn't heard about this yet and, not only won't it hold up in court, but we could be risking our actual necks here. After all -
Topman: Do it! Fuck the rules, that's what I'm thinking.
Snakeman: Doin' it! We're such great cops.
Topman: So great at being' cops.
Snakeman: He just withdrew 2 million in cash.
Topman: So either he's planning something big or he's gonna take a money bath.
(Just as they were all literally running towards their next lead, they all run into a wandering protest group. The very same Topman had bumped into earlier in the story.)
Emerald Spears Protester: DEACTIVATE ALL ROBOTS! HUMANITY FIRST!
Topman: Urge to kill ... rising.
(The protester flashes brightly for a second and reappears in a somewhat familiar suit of armour.)
Emerald Spears Protester: I wield the hand of machine, strong but merciful under my command! I wield the brain of man, calculating and caring! I am Monsteropolis' champion, a 'Robot Master' without the capacity to hurt those I've sworn to protect! I am ... Hu Man!
Topman: "Hu Man"? AH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH!
Hu Man: Screw you, metalhead!
(Hu Man knocks an energy-infused soccer ball right into Topman's face.)
Topman: Urge to kill ... EXPLODING!
Hu Man: Feel the might of man over machine! Feel the might of Hu Man!
Topman: That fuckin' tears it!
(Topman kicks one of Hu Man's Mega Balls right into her gut and follows that with a decisive kick. Hardman has to hold the maddened robot back as he fumes.)
Topman: Yer a PUNK!
Ha'Khael: Geez.
Hardman: This part has "Gauntlet's writing" written all over it.
Topman: Holy shit. I don't know what came over me ... wait! That guy in the crowd with the weird grin ... MESMERMAN!
(Topman chases Mesmerman, but ...)
Topman: Wait ... you're just a creepy human! And ... shit, the Ascendant Androids are attacking emerGEnesis? This really is Gauntlet's part, isn't it? Damn it!
Totally Not Mesmerman?: Be seeing you.
Gravityman: More cameo battles! I wonder if we'll ever get a whole storyline just to ourselves.
Gyroman: Of course we will! You've just gotta be patient.
Shadowman: (While dispatching Gravity) Very patient!
(Needlegal uses ... acupuncture and pressure points? ... to finally beat Gravity and uses her regular Needle Cannon on Gyro, but he manages to escape.)
Needlegal: Don't get used to the acupuncture thing. Why were you people attacking emerGEnesis?
Gravityman: I'm going to answer just because I'm a sport. We knew you'd be here and that we could get the drop on you. And that's it.
Shadowman: Alright, kids, gather 'round. Topman, sit your ass down. It's time for a stern parent-to-child talk. Snakeman, what were you thinking, illegally hacking into emerGEnesis, young man?
Snakeman: But, if there was dirt in there -
Shadowman: Then we wouldn't be able to use it anyway!
Snakeman: Weren't you going on about "bandit style" just a little while ago!?
Shadowman: That was Gauntlet's writing, this is Topman's. Don't change the subject!
Topman: Lay off, I'm the one who put Snakeman up to it.
Shadowman: I knew it! You've become such a bad influence on Snakeman. You used to be such a good boy. Leaving the evil demon alone? Almost beating a woman to death!
Topman: In my defense, she was a really annoying woman. I keep saying we should go after Mesmerman, but you keep shutting me down! WTF, man?
Ha'Khael: He obviously doesn't believe you. He doesn't like you, none of your friends like you. Your weapon's a joke and your face is stupid. Can't lie.
(Topman kicks the smug demon right outta life in a shocking display of rage.)
...
Topman: Crap.
Shadowman: Oh, you are so grounded! Get 'im!
(Topman realizes that Ha'Khael was the one who tipped the Androids off to their location even as he tries to come to terms with his actions. Top makes good on his escape and tries to find someone, anyone, who could take him in.)
Omniman: We're still taking applications for the Evil Eight.
Topman
(Omniman lives in a run-down hotel with Golemman. The Spinman "Armour" is just Topman's own re-skinned to be monochromatic and only slightly different.)
Spinman: Weaksauce. Maybe I was better off on my own. What about the Wily Underground?
Omniman: That's next series. Oh, by the by, you know how the RPD had its Wily tech stolen? Well, a single Wily Chip came into my possession and (this is the best part) when your armour was being made we managed to just slip it in there! RPD security is terrible, just terrible.
Golemman: GOLEM DRESSES UP AS PRETTY GUARD TO GET IN! AND GOLEM SUCCEEDED!
Omniman: Of course we weren't sure which of you the chip would wind up in (we sort of snuck it into a parts bin) so we waited until one of you showed signs of being evil and - here you are!
Spinman: Holy shit. All these murderous rages were your doing!?
Omniman: We liberated you from the constraints of your old programming. Don't you feel better?
Spinman: Actually, now that I think on it, I do kinda like not having a buncha two-faced jerks for pals and a gluttonous egomaniac as a boss. So ... thanks?
Omniman: You're welcome!
Golemman: ♫There's no need to pray, it's okay, you're welcome!♫
(Even though Top is evil now he still wants to find out what's going on with Adam Everett. So he breaks into Adam Everett's bank to take a look at his physical file. As it happens, the War made people like physical copies of things so this was totally doable.)
Spinman: AH HAH! He donated to a dilapidated old church! Let's check it out, guys!
Omniman: What, you didn't even grab any money?
Golemman: GOLEM WANT MONEY!
(Topman Spinman explores the church alone, finds a mystical orb, attacks, and is stopped by the mysterious dude.)
Spinman: !@#$ing magic!
Not Mesmerman: I'm the Harbinger. I merely judged my victims. I was swallowed up in Hell. Then I was sent home. I was judged. Now I judge others and send their souls to Hell. Now it's your turn.
(Upon closer inspection he's riddled with scars and looks to have been infected with the KADE virus himself once. He tries infecting Topman with the KADE virus because he's crazy and doesn't know Top's a robot. It doesn't work because, you know, Top's a robot.)
Snakeman: And that's when I found him.
Spinman: Aw, crap.
Needlegal: No time for talking, just time for shooting!
Magnetman: I'm also here. I don't do much talking in this adventure, do I?
Golemman: GOLEM HELP NEW SPIN! GOLEM HELP NEW FREIND!
Omniman: We stick together!
(With Omni and Golem's help Top gets away, however...)
Magnetman: I finally do something in this story. That first bullet I shot you with was a tracker.
Spinman: But you're Magnetman, not Searchman!
Magnetman: Hush, you. I'm giving you a chance here to prove yourself.
(Magnetman takes Topman's inert arm, which was injected with the KADE virus, back to the Mechs and lets Topman go. After a a conversation with Omniman (who is shown to be pretty sad and pathetic - )
Omniman: HEY!
Golemman: OMNI HAVE FEELINGS TOO!
(- Topman realizes that the Harbinger has been stalking Esmeralda Ocana - Hu Man - in order to judge her and steal her soul. Topman visits Hu Man in the hospital and is greeted by Amatista of all people.)
Amatista: Turns out Hu Man is my misguided niece. Oh, and I have a real name now. Call me -
Harbinger: Nobody cares! It's time for a boss fight.
(Harbinger just happened to have snuck in the hospital as Amatista and Top were talking and infected Hu Man with the virus. But, fortunately for her, all problems can be solved with violence. Harbinger managed to beat back both Amatista and Topman, but Hardman comes in for a surprise save only to be caught up in the Harbinger's soul-sucking spell.)
Harbinger: You never wanted to be brought back all those times, right?
Hardman: NO! NO MORE SAD, SULKING HARDMAN! I WANNA LIVE!
(With urging from Top, Hardman decides he actually doesn't want to die and punches Harbinger right in the face, through a wall. On top of that, all the vials of KADE he'd been carrying around break all over him.)
Harbinger: Well, shit. I did not see that coming.
(Harbinger kills himself because, at this point, why not?)
Hardman: Finally! Finally the "sad Hardman" arc is over.
(Topman straps the dying Hu Man to his back, but ...)
Shadowman: But the story's not done yet. You are in big trouble, young man! It's time I give you a spanking.
Spinman: I can't Top Spin with Hu Man strapped to my back. Damn it, Shadow is acting so evilly paternalistic! Wait ... oh, Omni you incompetent idiot.
(Top realizes Shadow was the one the Wily Chip all along. After explaining things somewhat, Spark teleports in and helps Top bring the maddened Shadowman down. They bring Hu Man to the scientists working on a cure for the KADE virus and she's cured. Topman is brought to Dr. Light who repairs him. Shadowman has that evil chip uninsalled.)
Shadowman: An evil chip. This is such a Lennon thing to happen to me.
Geminiman: HEY!
Topman: So, it wasn't Mesmerman or a Wily chip. I just sorta .... went insane?
Dr. Light: Pretty much. From repressed memories you had in your original incarnation as a damaged satellite.
Topman: Right, my insane backstory. UGH. I will never live that down.
Hardman: Whiner.
Dr. Light: Basically your morality programs suppressed your, well, batshit insanity for so long that it finally burst loose. I deleted the morality programs and now you'll just have to do without them and weigh each decision more carefully.
(This character change is promptly ignored by other writers.)
Shadowman: This has wrapped up neatly enough, but what about Adam Everett? I guess he's the fish that got away.
(Topman makes a beeline to the old church the Harbinger was in and assaults the guy he finds inside.)
Topman: Adam Everett ... or should I call you Ha'Khael?
Ha'Khael: Ah, you finally figured it out.
Topman: What? The? Fuck?
(Ha'Khael graciously explains that he made emerGEnesis as a front for his healing powers. Healing the right people bought him influence. One day he met the Harbinger. For the first time he could not fully cure a virus, only greatly slow its spread. Harbinger had gone insane at this point, but the virus intrigues Ha'Khael. Still, he was at a dead end until the Mechs came to him for help. Ha'Khael recognized Harbinger, but said nothing. According to Ha'Khael a human stealing souls could only happen during the Rapture, or so he theories. This freaked Ha'Khael out and he contacted Harbinger to buy the stolen souls off him. The Mechs were growing too tenacious, so he goaded Top into "killing" him. In getting the souls he was able to absolve them, so he didn't betray the souls, in a sense. Ha'Khael says he promised the souls his loyalty not the Mechs.)
Topman: Ugh, this is a summary!
Ha'Khael: OMFG. tlrd: I made emerGEnesis to prove to Heaven that I really did go legit. Harbinger's shtick intrigued me and I wanted the souls to absolve them. But Heaven still isn't forgiving me (the jerks).
Topman: Was that so hard?
Ha'Khael: My time with the Blessèd Childryn taught me to believe in Heaven. Only Heaven still doesn't want me. Those bastards. Why don't they like me?
Shadowman: (dropping down from the rafters) And what about your promise not to escape with the talisman?
Ha'Khael: Escape implies pursuit. Look, I'm really good at twisting words around, alright? Also, as to whether I have to give the talisman back to you once the case is "solved", this case isn't solved if we don't agree on the reason and unless you agree that the end is nigh ...? No?
Shadowman: Keep your stupid talisman. Just know that you've made an enemy this day. We won't forget this. Or you.
(The Mechs completely forget all of this.)
(Long story short: Topman had a solo story where he went rogue, briefly became Spinman, and lost his morals (which isn't ever addressed again). Hardman decided he wanted to live. And Ha'Khael was put to good use in an actual story, finally justifying his card.)
Magnetman: Now wait a cotton-picking minute. If emerGEnesis didn't make it then where did that virus come from in the first place!?
...
Topman: Moving on.
Ben: Hey, how about a patented Random Adventure that breaks the fourth wall?
"Shadow" Man: I'll be your Shadow Man for the duration.
Crorq: MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGNIFICENT! (eats a chimichanga)
Quickman: Alright, men! It's our first appearance in this new incarnation, so let's make it count. Go Wily Rescue Force!
Crashman: We're part of the Wily Underground (all the Wilybots literally went underground and we call the place we live the "Wily Underground"), not the Wily Rescue Force (a team within our community) who now call themselves the Wily Return Force.
Quickman: Nobody cares, Crash.
Hardman: Those guys ain't Wily's Warriors. Damn, I guess they really are gone.
Spark Chan: Maybe we'll learn what happened to them in a special sometime.
(Cossack's Comrades return.)
Diveman: We're back, bitches!
Snakeman: Wait, don't we have Cossack's Creations as the Mega Man 4 team now?
Cossack's Creations: YEAH!
Pharaohman: I still have to help Magmaman teach that Scissor Army and fire type washout Ben a lesson!
Diveman: We have a whole rivalry with with Mechs that's gonna pay off.
Diveman: (shoots the other Diveman) Not no more.
Needlegal: Weren't there plans for the Creations? Are we okay with this?
Shadowman: Yeah, it's fine. Actually, this might be better.
S. Schwartz: Alright, guys, how the heck do we get off this insignificant planet?
Ra Moon: Something is interfering with my ability to create a space ship.
Crorq: Yes ... "Something."
(Snakeman gets on Ra Moon's nerves and gets turned into Toadman.)
Ra Moon: Toadgirl, actually.
Toadman: Oh, Helena! I love you!
Toadgirl: Oh, Hell no!
(Toadman chases Toadgirl around as both Cossack's Comrades and the Mechs laugh. Eventually he makes it into the Archives, the place where the RPD keeps backups of the Robot Police Forces.)
Toadgirl: Even Crorq's backups, I bet.
Police bot: But - that's a horrible violation of his rights! I can't even imagine going into someone's mind like that.
Toadgirl: Rights, smites, we're the good guys.
(Toadgirl sees inside Crorq's twisted mind before the system shuts down.)
Toadgirl: Oh no.
(Meanwhile the Mako Hano comet returns to Earth.)
Tar: I'm free! Time to make some Lion Men!
Lion Men (and Women): RAWR!
Shadowman: Attack! Just ... try not to hurt them too badly.
Needlegal: Spoil sport.
(The Lion Men retaliate with stolen Wily Tech, beat back the Mechs because they're holding back, and make their way to RPD Headquarters.)
Spark Chan: (covered in cement) This sucks.
Hardman: Yeah, thanks, Shad.
Shadowman: Shut up.
(In the chaos, S.Schwartz becomes a Lion Man and gives Tar his place on the Council to represent the newly created Lion Men minority on Earth, however Bright Babe damaged his eyes with her Flash Stopper, thusly preventing him from passing on his curse to others. K.Watson was revealed to be Mesmerman in disguise and is chased off by Crorq. Fabergé Egg Man and Rolls Royce Man are killed in the chaos.)
Mesmerman: I was able to infect the RPD because you plugged in a discarded body of mine into your systems for analysis when you thought the Sinister Six killed me at the end of Series 7. I guess that's over now, but who cares? I roll with the punches. And I've been killing Council members from the shadows since they've arrived. HAH! But ... I've been driven away by Crorq!?
Crorq: My and the power of HOT GRAVY! MAAAAAAAAAAAAAGNIFICENT!
Mesmerman: I can't believe it! My hologram's weakness to water is finally being referenced again and it's by Crorq's use of stupid weaponry!? AAAAAAAGH! This wouldn't have happened in a Hadrian story!
Terra: I guess there are a couple of vacancies. Crorq? Tar? Welcome aboard!
Tar: Finally.
Crorq: You just got here, I've been waiting all series for this!
(The Mechs talk in private)
Snakeman: This is terrible!
Spark Chan: I dunno. I mean, with Crorq in space we'll never have to see him again.
Topman: And the rest of the Council are pretty bad people anyway.
Snakeman: I had a look into Crorq's memory and he's behind Catch-22! He gave criminals Wily's old tech and spread the Roboenza Virus. He's kept the Council here. He let Doc Robot and Mesmerman take over the RPD's computer system until he could publicly fix it! He hired Omni and Golem to cause trouble so he could stop it and look good!
Magnetman: And the proof?
Snakeman: ... gone up in smoke.
Shadowman: We're gonna have to deal with this ... renegade style.
Quint: But, before you do, how about another retro story?
Magnetman: What, right after the battle was all set and ready to go?
Quint: Sure, why not? Hello, hello. I'm The Doctor Quint. Come aboard my TARDIS Time Skimmer and let's have ourselves a time travel adventure where we close off plot holes and have ourselves a nostalgia trip.
Magnetman: I'm gonna hate this, aren't I?
(The Mechs go back in time and have a retro adventure. They meet a protesting Andon, the mysterious Xelloss, fight Bizarro Shadowman, Ben is mistaken for Hadrian at Hardman's Bar (and runs afoul of his past selves), and they find out the full story on why Razz left the team.)
Razz: Basically I was injured in a fight with King, Coola, and Princess. But that's alright because Quint saved me by taking me into the future and fixed me up using sweet future science. I'm overflowing with positive energy! I'm looking forward to all the time travel adventures I'll be going on as Quint's new companion with his fantastic friends!
King: That's us.
Coola: Remember us because we'll be back!
Spark Chan: Uh, you all weren't heard from ever again...
(When Razz left he was presumed dead. The Mechs of the past chose Classi as the next Spark using the armour he left behind.)
King: Not ominous at all.
Coola: Fuck off, we'll be fine.
Spark Chan: I have a funny feeling about this.
Princess: I was taken to this dimension by Kalinka's stupid dimensional portal thing and I WILL take over this fucking series even if I have to kill all of you to do it! I don't care what's going on or what kind of time machine I'm in I'm outta here!
Quint: May wanna hold off on that.
Princess: EAT ME!
(Princess escapes Quint's time machine as it's in transit, plunging face-first into the Time Vortex.)
Hardman: And that's the end of that chapter.
Topman: Except that Princess is right here and has always been part of the Galactic Council.
Princess: Be seeing you, Gamma's Disciples.
Hardman: What - ? Aw, damn it! She retconned herself into our series when she fell into the Time Vortex.
Shadowman: Feeakin' Quint. Freakin' time travel!
(Crorq confronts the Mechs about Snakeman hacking into his backups.)
Crorq: Look, I know what you did. And I don't care. I'm leaving this place - and all of you - behind to rule the entire galaxy. This is me telling you that I know what you did and it's beneath me. You can stop and keep all the nice things you have.
Spark Chan: He might have a point you guys ...
Geminiman: Oh come on! You all can't actually want him on the Galactic Council.
Magnetman: Dang it, I suppose you're right.
Snakeman: Shadow and I will do this stealthily. Like the old days!
Magnetman: I'm not a halfway sort of guy; I'll join you.
(Inexplicably the Sterling Sentinels have captured Gyroman.)
Galaxyman: We rule!
Gyroman: No, you suck. Howzabout an Ascendant Android attack?
Napalmman: All at once this time!
Starman: We'll shine brighter than ever before!
(Gyro allowed himself to be captured to send a beacon through the RPD's anti-teleportation field, allowing a close range attack on RPD HQ to occur. The RPD fights the Androids and, finally, win decisively with help from Cossack's Comrades (which kind of get screwed over during the battle).)
Napalmman: This is because you all don't follow orders!
Crystalgirl: Because your orders suck!
Diveman: I guess we know why they aren't attacking together anymore - they hate each other.
(The Androids escape, albeit with heavy damage.)
Drillman: We'll get you damn dirty Mechs one day.
Crorq: You would have never survived without the Council's aid.
Tar: GET ME OUT OF HERE! Oh, the lionality!
Shadowman: Right. So now that that's done, let's finally kill our asshole boss.
Topman: The dream of the working man.
Snakeman: The Galactic Council finally gave up on building a shuttle and called in their space cruiser in from space. We have to act now.
Geminiman: Meanwhile the RPD -
Crorq: RPD nothing! It was my MAAAAAAAAAAAAAGNIFICENT self that did the work!
Geminiman: has tracked back the many signals sent in from the Scissor Army when they pierced through the RPD's shields to their source. So we're off to destroy the Scissor Army once and for all.
Tornadoman: With a little help from the supporting cast.
Crorq: Shut up and make this happen.
(This last base is in the Rocky Mountains. It's not a smoldering war zone. I mean ... why would it be at this point? The Mechs and the muscle of the Galactic Council (plus Tar) join the battle. Eventually the Mechs meet the new general of the Scissor Army.)
Chimeraman: It was me! I found this place. I rebuilt the Scissor Army and Starman based off the General's plans. I repaired the Ascendant Androids after they were broken free form prison! AH HAH HAH HAH HAH!
Needlegal: He spent the entire 15 year time gap doing all of that?
Topman: Nobody ever said he was smart.
Chimeraman: Shut up! I did all this. I am smart!
Needlegal: You took forever to build all this up and left it up to the Androids to attack randomly. That's not a plan, it's just stupid! Like your stupid, stupid face.
(After an intense battle Chimeraman is beaten down and the Scissor Army is finally destroyed. Meanwhile Magnet, Snake, and Shadow attack Crorq at RPD HQ back in Monsteropolis.)
Snakeman: Strange. The ship's not set to take off.
(Meanwhile Crorq faces against the rest of the team.)
Crorq: Venomous Search Snakes? REALLY!? I built your armour, you nitwits! And you thought I wouldn't inoculate myself against that sort of attack? I'm not stupid like the rest of you. Now, why don't you all just get yourselves shut down?
Snakeman: Ohhhhh, like we wouldn't think to check for that at all.
(The Mechs manage to almost win against Crorq, except -)
Trio: Except there are seven deadly sins. Hello, there.
Shadowman: Shit! Well, we stopped an Evil Energy powered Duo and we'll stop you.
Magnetman: Not so fast there, pard.
(Magnetman and Trio put Snakeman and Shadowman down and Trio informs Crorq that he's decided that the Galactic Council needs to re-establish itself on Earth. Meanwhile Ra Thor lays out the rest of the team. They're all taken to the Robot Prison, except ...)
Magnetman: Except I was just foolin' my super powerful bosses. Trio's mighty powerful. Too powerful. I played him and Crorq to make sure my team ain't going to the pokey.
Snakeman: I guess that's clever.
Expressman: Mags here sprung me just in case things went south. Welcome to the Wily Underground!
Spark Chan: Wily ... what!? Look, I have Shoryu to look after. I can't do the whole crazy adventure / being a criminal thing anymore, I just can't. I'm sorry,
(Spark Chan leaves the team for places unknown as they prepare for an uncertain future away from the Robot Police Department. Oh, also Crorq sent Gaderham and Gag to Antarctica. So they can't help the team either.)
Shadowman: What!? But ... NO! SHIT! I CAN'T BELIEVE WE LOST THE BATTLE AND CLASSI!
Magnetman: That was always a risk.
Shadowman: SINCE WHEN!? This has literally always worked out for us! Damn consequences showing up when it's the least convenient... GOD DAMN IT!
Geminiman: Still, we've escaped imprisonment and found a possible home and allies. That has to count for something.
Shadowman: No, Gems. We've lost literally everything we've ever built.
Topman: Stop being so negative. We're alive!
Hardman: And where there's life, there's hope.
Snakeman: Well, I guess things turned out all right...
Shadowman: Gonna be alright when I have my revenge ... REVENGE!
Needlegal: Yeah, and we learned something too...
Geminiman: Can we really have learned an entirely new lesson over the course of only two series?
Topman: And, being real here, they could easily have been just one.
Needlegal: We learned that large, sweeping changes in the status quo come quickly, and suddenly. Sure, there were stints where we weren't cops. Like, in WANTED. And half the team in the War. And during the 15 year gap. But things just seemed to right themselves and settled back into place. And then, all of a sudden we're out and everything's different. So, I guess when it rains it pours.
Hardman: Now that I think about it the same is true of my own long and storied life.
Magnetman: Nobody wants to get bogged down in all that, Hard.
Hardman: SAYS YOU!
Topman: Well, until we're done with sudden shifts in our lives, we are... The Mechanical Maniacs!
The End
Cast: |
|||||
 Spark Chan |
Raijin as ..... |  Snakeman |
Psycho Magnet as ..... |  Needlegal |
|
| Ben as ..... |  Hardman |
Nightmare as ..... |  Topman |
||
| Lennon as ..... |  Geminiman |
Sheriff (Kassidy) Mags as ..... |  Magnetman |
Gauntlet as ..... | Shadowman |
