Series 9 - The Road Less Traveled
By Gauntlet (Shadowman)
Princess: ... Bite my cute, tasty ass, Trio.
(Princess kisses the air, slaps her ass, and flies off.)
Trio: HOW DARE SHE!?
Crorq: Apparently quite easily.
(Crorq tosses a chicken wing into his maw and noisily eats it.)
Trio: She is getting completely out of hand!
Crorq: SHAKEMAN!
(Shakeman dashes towards his boss, shaking and trembling.)
Shakeman: Y-y-y-y-y-YES!?
Crorq: I desire ... an ice cream smoothie.
Shakeman: Something normal!? Oh, thank the robot gods! What kind of ice cream would you like?
Crorq: WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT!?
Shakeman: (jumps) AHH! All of them! Of course! I'll be right back!
(Shakeman dashes off.)
Crorq: Honestly.
Trio: And where are Tar and Holzenbein!? They should be here! Where are they? Why is everyone delinquent when we are so close to ultimate victory!?
Ra Moon: Perhaps they are as tired of these pointless meetings as I am.
Ra Thor: SUCH INSIGHT!
Trio: I will find them! Unlike Princess, they lack the raw power necessary to defy me. Officer!
(An officer bot runs in.)
Officer bot: Yes, sir?
Trio: TAKE ME TO TAR AND MR. HOLZENBEIN!
(Just then, Shakeman runs back into the room breathlessly carrying a large shake.)
Shakeman: One ice cream smoothie with all available flavors for you, sir!
(Crorq gabs it and tosses it right back in Shakeman's face.)
Crorq: I don't want it anymore.
Shakeman: But ... why!?
(The Galactic Council barge into Holt's room to see why they didn't attend the meeting. They find a disturbing scene.)
...
Trio: Wh ... wha ...
Crorq: BY MY MAAAAAGNIFICENCE WHAT WERE THEY DOING!?
Ra Moon: (While being carried by Ra Thor) It appears they were engaged in some sort of ... base promiscuous behavior.
(Crorq looks at his half-eaten bucket of fried chicken that he had gotten in the meantime, then back at the scene. Unbelievably it appears the scene has caused him to doubt whether he still wants to eat.)
Ra Thor: COVER YOUR EYES, MY MASTER!
Ra Moon: I am all eye, Ra Thor. It's too late. This is the stuff of nightmares.
Trio: I ... I don't even know what I'm looking at. Crorq?
Crorq: I think ... no.
Ra Thor: MAYBE THEY... MAYBE ... BUT THEN WHY IS ...?
Crorq: I think they started out with Tar ... but then that wouldn't explain ...
(The robots continue to stare in disgust and confusion.)
Ra Moon: Organics. They are filthy and disgusting creatures ruled by bodily functions dictated by a gross chemical necessity obscuring all higher functions. It is small wonder that we rule over them, is it not?
Ra Thor: WISE AND INGIGHTFUL AS ALWAYS, MY MASTER!
Crorq: (shrugs and begins eating his fried chicken again.) Agreed.
Trio: This is unacceptable! Those fools have lessened our number because they could not control their .... bizarre ... whatever this is supposed to be!! To retain our legitimacy I must seek out replacements.
Crorq: And yet less is more, eh, Trio?
Trio: Hm. Quite. We'll have to have this cleaned up.
Crorq: I have already sent out for - ah, but here he is now. Shakeman!
(Shakeman flinches as Crorq raises a hand in greeting.)
Shakeman: AH! Ah, y-y-y-y-y-yes?
Crorq: Clean up that room for me will you? (Crorq's monitors light up with a smiling emoticon.) But there's no need to let all these raw materials go to waste! I'll want you to make a leftover shake of them, ready for me as soon as possible! I'm sure even you have not made this flavor. Eh heh. Eh heh heh! AH HAH HAH HAH HAH!!!!
Shakeman: Oh, that's not ominous at all. I wonder what ...
(The Council members leave, Shakeman looks into the room.)
Shakeman: OH, GOD WHY!?
