Series 7 Issue #10 - Remnant Part 1

The Mechanical Maniacs are fighting a small contingent of Scissor Joes outside of Monsteropolis at night. Naturally, they have the upper hand, but ...

Ripot: The people have a right to know!

Topman: Just get back, all of you! You have no idea how dangerous this is!

(A Hard Knuckle intercepts an explosive from hitting the field of reporters.)

Ripot: Why haven't you been arrested? You're all wanted fugitives, especially Magnet and Geminiman. Give our viewers the real scoop!

Plumb: Is it true you have a secret deal worked out with the RPD?

Topman: No, no that's ridiculous ... we've just been temporarily deputized in order to - GET DOWN!

(Topman carries the small reporter away as a spray of bullets fire on them.)

Needlegal: These guys are like cockroaches! Just when you think you've got 'em down three more pop up.

Shadowman: This reminds me of the time we fought those knockoffs of ourselves. Remember those times?

Needlegal: You mean when you tried to make a quick buck by selling our designs out to the highest bidder? *

(*Series 5 #7)

Shadowman: Good times, good times.

Magnetman: You all just stand back. Especially you, Hard. I have to get myself in a very dark place, but I've been practising this...

Snakeman: Wait, "dark place"? You're not going to...?

(In an instant, a burst of red light bathes the area shredding the Scissor Joes into bits.)

Hardman: Ow. Ow!

Ripot: My FOOTAGE! Your magnetism ruined it!

Topman: Heh heh, sorry little buddy!

Hardman: You must get a kick outta callin' someone else little.

Magnetman: (Collapses) It worked. I did it all on my own...

Mesmerman: Indeed, that was quite an impressive feat.

All: Mesmerman!?

Ripot: Oh no! By Light, I should have stayed home!

Mesmerman: Now, don't be alarmed. I've just dropped by to -

Geminiman: To mess with our heads some more, you sick freak!? I remember what you made me do!

Magnetman: And what little I remember keeps me up at night!

Mesmerman: Heh, good times as the ninja would say. But -

Spark Chan: We've trained for this!

(Spark Chan lets out a flurry of sparks which Mesmerman swipes away effortlessly.)

Mesmerman: Please! Your anger and surprise are really quite delightful, but I -

Snakeman: Don't let him say another poisonous word! Everyone - attack!

(From out of nowhere shots slam into Mesmerman's holographic body. Mesmerman tisks in annoyance.)

Mesmerman: Really, all this is quite unnecessary!

(Topman spins into the floating hologram sending Mesmerman's sphere's flying. Shadowman leaps up and shoves a Shadowblade into Mesmerman's one good eye.)

Mesmerman: As if that means anything! This body ... damaging it is pointless, remember!?

(Mesmerman's scythe severs Shadow's arm and slams into a falling Hardman, gouging its way through his thick armor.)

Mesmerman: I didn't come here for a fight, but it seems we just can't have a nice chat!

(Mesmerman plunges his holographic arms into the ground nearby and lift Snakeman out, quickly tossing him into sharp rocks.)

Mesmerman: Don't think I lost sight of you. I know how you think! I know all about you Mechanical Maniacs! I've been inside your heads so many times I don't even need to read your mind to know what you're thinking! I - YERK!

(Mesmerman's hologram fizzles as it's hit by a burst of water.)

Torchman: Don't let up, Sixlets, keep at him!

Mesmerman: Wh - you!? What are you doing he -*fzzzzz*

(Sharkman bursts out of the ground with Mesmerman's true body in his jaws. Without giving a respite, Oilman covers it in a thick tar, interfering with the hologram even more. It fizzles and pops as it tries to attack.)

Mesmerman: You - *fzzzz - *How did you - *pshhhhhhhhhh* -

Magnetman: Wait, what's going on here?

Waveman: Quiet, you! I - I can beat him! I can!

(With another douse of his water, Waveman shorts out Mesmerman's weakened hologram and Bitman crushes the true Mesmerman's legs for good measure.)

Bitman: Yer not getting away.

Geminiman: I ... I can't believe this!

Mesmerman: You- *fshhhhhh* - ambushing - *fshhhhhhhh* -

(A blade to the skull silences their enemy.)

Blademan: Shaddap. Playtime's over.

Ripot: Mesmerman captured by the heroic Sinister Six!? What a scoop!

Topman: This isn't happening.


(The following day, just about everyone in Monsteropolis is celebrating the capture of one of the deadliest robots every to terrorize mankind. The RPD put Mesmerman's very damaged, but shockingly active, body into Robot Prison, separated from his malevolent head. For their part in the take down the Mechanical Maniacs are up on a podium to officially have their fugitive status removed (even though the public had long since had their faith in the team restored) while the Sinister Six are being given a commendation and the keys to the city.)

Topman: This isn't happening.

Spark Chan: Oh, it's happening all right.

Magnetman: Why do we have to be here? We could have our statuses resolved without all this useless pomp.

Snakeman: It's because Crorq wants to torture us.

Police Bot: (From afar, while admiring the Sinister Six) I can't believe they took down Mesmerman! Maybe Megaman 3 PC really was made first...

Police Bot: I was thinkin' the same thing. Those NES guys fight Mesmerman ... how many times? But it was these guy who took 'im down.

Snakeman: (Quietly) UUUUUAAAAAHHHHH!!!!

Hardman: Dat's a low blow.

Crorq: (Stomping onto the podium) Greetings, miserable fleshlings! It is I, you're prodigious protector - the powerful Crorq!

Topman: (Softly groans.)

Crorq: We have seen some true heroism the other day from the extraordinary Sinister Six and the less extraordinary, but still more extraordinary than most of you, Mechanical Maniacs. Under my guidance we have managed to take down the scourge of mankind. The being known only as "Mesmerman". One of the linchpins of the great war, which ravaged your kind over a decade ago. During this war I personally fought against the fearsome General Cutman. And now it brings me great pleasure to have led our heroic forces of heroism to Mesmerman's defeat. So I give a heartfelt thanks to the Sinister Six! And ... some sort of thanks to the Mechanical Maniacs too.

(The audience claps politely and Crorq stomps off the podium.)

Needlegal: (Whispering) Thanks, big yellow, I can tell how hard that was for you.

Crorq: (Whispering) Whatever.

(The Mayor takes the podium.)

The Mayor: It's been a long time since I could say I felt safe in the city. Mesmerman's return sent a collective chill down the spine of every human on the planet. I wish I could say I felt relieved when the Mechanical Maniacs returned to stop him, but I didn't. Two of their team members were once a part of the Scissor Army. Yet, they have fought the remains of that army for some time now, and now they helped stop Mesmerman. For that, we are grateful. They have all gone through rigorous tests and our top scientists have concluded that they are free from any outside influence. They are their own robots and they have proven themselves worthy of our trust. In recognition of their service the Galactic Council has authorised their pardon for suspected crimes and has lifted all investigation into their team.

(The crowd cheers with some enthusiasm.)

The Mayor: But I don't think we're here to hear about that. We're here to honor the heroes who finally brought down one of the biggest threats to world peace. We're here to honor the Sinister Six!

(The crowd erupts into applause).

The Mayor: In recognition of their achievements in the line of duty I'm giving these heroic Robot Masters the keys to the city! They have earned it.

(The crowd roars again and Torchman steps to the podium and claims the key.)

Torchman: Thank you, thank you. It has been a long, long time. I remember a time when we were regarded as little more than jokes by ... some people. (Torchman glares at the Mechanical Maniacs behind him). I remember when we had to scrape by merely to survive. But during the War my compatriots and I felt a calling. A calling to use our vast powers to help all of you! And, even while robots have been forced into hiding after the War, we continued, as members of the RPD, to aid you all. We have scrounged for information on Mesmerman and have stalked him even before his very public return. I can now report that we were close to catching him many times and I suspect he made his appearance not out of choice, but because he was forced to because of our tireless investigation.

Snakeman: (Whispering) Oh brother. Is anyone buying this?

Torchman: But now that investigation is over. We have defeated our archfoe Mesmerman and have made the world safe for ordinary humans again! And now I ask you ... don't you think Megaman 3 PC was the real Megaman 3?! After all this, isn't that the case!?

(The crowd erupts into cheers and adulation!)

Bitman: (Whispering) Take that, jerks.

Needlegal: (Whispering) Shut up.

Torchman: This is for every man who had dared to dream! Every man who has fought against all odds and won! Like a phoenix we have risen from the ashes again and again. We have been remade and reforged in battle. We have travelled a long, dark tunnel and have emerged into the light unbroken and stronger than ever before. My fellow Sixlets ... we have arrived!

(The crowd roars.)

The Mayor: Thank y-

Torchman: Yes! Thank me! Thank us all! The great threat to the world - the unstoppable giant has had his ankles cut by our bravery. His fall has echoed throughout the world! Let this be a warning to all who would choose to misuse their power!

The Mayor: Well said. Once again, thank y-

Torchman: There is no need to thank us, this ... all of this is thanks enough! For standing up for what is right is what we do! For we are the one TRUE Megaman 3 team! For we are ... the Sinister Six!


The Mayor: Right. Th -

Torchman: It is very right! The world ... is finally right.

(Torchman grabs the Mayor's hand and gives it a hardy shake and then dramatically walks off the stage with a flare of his trench coat. The other Sinister Six members follow in a similar style.)

Hardman: 'Dat guy just doesn't know when to shut up.


(As the days go on, the Mechanical Maniacs find themselves increasingly frustrated by the Sinister Six's newfound recognition...)

Cleaveman: (While fleeing a bank with a sack full of cash in hand) Finally ... I'm finally gonna get mine. With this I can start a whole new life.

Snakeman: Robbing banks now? What happened to you? (Surrounds the fleeing Robot Master with snakes.)

Cleaveman: (Slicing the snakes in half) Arrrgh, shut up! You have no idea how tough it's been for me. How did you find me, anyway?

Snakeman: I was just taking a walk! This is just your own bad luck. And my good luck finally finding something to hit!

(At that moment Sharkman explodes from underneath Cleaveman, clutching the robot in his jaws.)

Snakeman: Geez!

(Sharkman tosses the screaming Cleave aside and chuckles.)

Sharkman: Dood! I nearly ripped him in half! Cool or what?

Random Girl: Soooooo cooooool, Sharkie!

Sharkman: Damn straight!

Snakeman: Aw, but...I was all ready to...

Sharkman: Whatevs.

Cleaveman: Ahhh! Ahhh! I think I need medical attention.

Sharkman: Ah hah hah hah, you said "attention".

Random Girl: *giggle* Oh, you're so funny, Sharkie.

Snakeman: What's the joke? I don't get it.

Sharkman: Dood! You said "it"!

Random Girl: *giggle*

Snakeman: Damn it...

(And elsewhere ...)

Hardman: (Taking a drink at the Autobar) I miss my old place.

Needlegal: I know you do.

Hardman: That place had class. Everybody came there, even our big time enemies. And us heroes ran it. Roll wuz even a waitress there.

Needlegal: Kinda weird that you'd get the underage-looking robot to serve drinks, but yeah, it was a fun gig. were fun.

Hardman: What does this place have that mine didn't? A rhyming waiter? And what's going on here? Where th' damn band?

(A spotlight comes on a reveals Waveman standing by a microphone.)

Hardman: What th' hell?

Waveman: Hello, everyone. I'm glad I can be here today.

Random Guy: You rock, Waveman!

Waveman: Thank you, thank you. And for this I present an old classic. It's called "Why do I look like Airman?"

Needlegal: Oh, God.

Waveman: I've always wondered why I looked like Airman.

Hardman: It's cuz Rozner Labs can't design robots fer shit!

Random Guy: You're shit! Go, Waveman! Woooooo!

Waveman: Uh, well, yeah. Looking like Airman has always made me feel sad and alone. So I made this poem to let it all out.

Random Guy: Let it all out! Wooooooooooo!

Waveman: In this world, all robots are unique.
BusterRod has a red butt.  Gyro has weird feet.
But what about me?
The lonely Waveman.... 
Airman, can't you see?
I don't look like you....
You look like me.

Needlegal: Kinda got a Dr. Seussy vibe to it, doesn't it?

Hardman: *snort*

Waveman: When people look so much alike...
You'd think they'd get along.
You'd think they'd be like brothers...
You'd think they'd join in song.

Hardman: Shut up!

Crowd: Shhhhhh!

Random Guy: We're trying to listen to Waveman's beautiful poem, you insensitive bastard! You keep on going, Waveman! You rock! Wooooooo!

Waveman: But not the one known as Air.
With the one known as Wave. 
He really, really hates me.
It really isn't fair.
Air, try to be happy.
This I dare.

Hardman: Oh, come on!

Random Guy: You come on! That rocked!

Hardman: You know somethin', all th' damned Sinister Six looks like other robots. All o' them! But only this guy whines so much about it. Even official guys sometimes -

(Someone throws a mug at Hardman and it shatters on his head.)

Hardman: Hey!

Crowd: Get outta here!

Random Guy: Insensitive bastard.

Waveman: Why don't you guys just leave already?

Needlegal: Hard, I think we'd better.

Hardman: Whu!? But...

(The crowd glares at Hardman.)

Hardman: Aw, dammit.

(Eventually Topman holds a meeting with the other Mechanical Maniacs....)

Topman: ...and I couldn't even get a hot dog.

Hardman: Gushin' over Oilman? Dat ain't healthy.

Topman: Har har. That's funny, man.

Hardman: I try.

Snakeman: But he's right. This is getting out of hand. What happened to those guys? It used to be they couldn't do anything right and's like they're untouchable.

Spark Chan: Maybe they did steal our mojo.

Topman: Eh?

Spark Chan: You know. When they stole the Technodrome's eyeball?*

(*Series6 #6)

Topman: Oh yeah.

Magnetman: We should stalk them for a time. From the shadows. And then, when they least expect it ... WE TEAR THOSE UNDESERVING ROBOTS LIMB FROM LIMB WITH OUR BARE HANDS!


Shadowman: Ohhhhhhh kay. We're all feeling a little tense. Some more than others.

Magnetman: What? It's a perfectly effective strategy.

Shadowman: But there's nothing we can do right now. We just have to ignore these people. Maybe they'll just...go away.

Topman: You're kidding me.


Days later, the Sinister Six continue to bask in Monsteropolis' adoration while the Maniacs continue to brood over it. But the city never sleeps and the disgusting Crorq meets with Gaderham to discuss a problem unrelated to the Sinister Six's growing fame. It's past midnight at Robot Police Headquarters...

Gaderham: Must you continue to eat ice cream?

Crorq: I can't help it. Torchman's ego is overbearing. He told me - ME! - to go and do my own filing! The nerve of that red lunatic. I ought to grind him into the floor!

Gaderham: It's your own fault.

Crorq: Whatever.

(Gaderham cringes as Crorq loudly consumes a whole box of ice cream before his eyes. Its melted contents drip onto the floor as Crorq continues to speak.)

Crorq: The data from the raid on the Scissor Army headquarters reveals no new information. However, it also seems unlikely Mesmerman has anything to do with operations there. In fact, it seems like Mesmerman didn't have anything to do with our troubles with the Scissor Army remains at all.

Gaderham: That's as we expected. He seemed to emerge for the first time during that Middleman incident while the Scissor Army has been a thorn in our sides long before then. Did you glean anything from analyzing his databanks?

Crorq: (Twitches and makes vexed noises) As of yet his secrets...elude me.

Gaderham: The magnificent you?

Crorq: Quiet! That fool will not lock himself away from me for long! I will have his secrets. Just you wait, my wheeled friend.

Gaderham: Crorq... Don't think -

Special Forces Unit: Commander Crorq. Commander Gaderham. You have been identified as the only persons of import inside RPD HQ at this hour.

Crorq: *Hmph*, I am the only person of import here at any hour.

Gaderham: Officer, what are you doing here!?

Special Forces Unit: Sir, there is an emergency situation. You must be secured immediately.

Gaderham: What? What is the situation?

(Three more Special Forces Units appear at the only entrance to the large room.)

Special Forces Unit: You must be secured.

Crorq: Officer you will respond to my inquiries. What is the situation?

(Explosions can be heard nearer to the room and Gaderham exchanges worried looks with Crorq.)

Gaderham: An attack? Here? Who - ?

Crorq: Who would DARE to attack the mighty CRORQ!? I will crush those peons with my bare - why are you officers standing in my way!?

Special Forces Unit: Sirs, you are to remain where you are.

Crorq: INSOLENCE! You aren't the boss of me, you tin can. I'm the one who commissioned you in the first place! And I demand that you -

(The three officer robots open fire on Crorq and Gaderham, shattering the screens of the surprised chief of police.)

Crorq: GAH! You INNNNNNNNNNNFIDELS! Don't you know who I am!?

Special Forces Unit: You are the supercomputer known as Cro - *Ffssshhhhhhhhhh*

(All three Special Forces Units collapse as Crorq guns them down with his laser.)

Crorq: Damn straight! All shall fall before my power!

Gaderham: C-Crorq? I could use a little help...

Crorq: BEWARE MY POWER! (Crorq stomps out of the room.)


(Crorq doesn't go far before the building begins to shake.)

Crorq: No! No, my budget wasn't meant to handle repairs! (Over the intercom) whoever is doing that, I ORDER you to stop at once! I Crorq the Magnificent ORDER you to -

(Crorq's orders are drowned out by several simultaneous large explosions that bring the entire building down on him.)


To be continued ...


Classi Cal as .....
Spark Chan
Raijin as .....
Psycho Magnet as .....
Hadrian Howell as .....
    Nightmare as .....
Lennon as .....
Kenta (Kassidy) Eigen as .....
Gauntlet as .....


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