The Unnamed: A Mechanical Maniacs Mini-Novel
By Gauntlet (Shadowman)
Chapter 1
The Mechanical Maniacs. The Megaman 3 team. From the wreckage of Skull Castle they made a life for themselves. While the team that was the original robot masters stolen by Wily has retired, others have taken up their place to fill the team's ranks. The Mechanical Maniacs have always endured. Sometimes as heroes. Sometimes as travelers. Always seeking adventure. Never resting.
Topman. Clad in yellow and black, he's the spinning demon. Although he looks like some punk kid with a top on his head his Top Spin he can knock even the mightiest of enemies to the ground. Also known as Nightmare, Topman always tries his best to make up for his own perceived failings.
Hardman. With Hadrian Howell as the huge blue-grey robot Hardman, there's a new driving force behind the Mechanical Maniacs. His humor and light hearted shenanigans provide relief even in the grimmest of situations. Using his Hard Knuckle and his crushing weight, Hardman can plow through a legion of enemies.
Spark-Chan. An orange and white robot, Spark-Chan is no longer the diminutive robot that can only jump. With advances in technology you wouldn't even recognize this as Forte-Chan. Now the large energy-inducing spikes on her arms can transform into hands for a more versatile robot. With her Spark Shot, Spark-Chan is capable of handling ten times the energy of Elecman. With the 'Maniacs old friend Classi Cal in control of this form, Spark-Chan provides a refreshing outlook in any situation and gentle compassion in times where the 'Maniacs are in the most need of it.
Snakeman. With his Search Snakes none can hide from this robot master. Snakeman is a green, black and white robot dressed in slick angled armor with a snake-like helmet complete with a tail. Raijin, as Snakeman, proves a dedicated and reliable friend to all the Mechanical Maniacs. Although he can come off as abrasive and rude, he genuinely cares for his teammates.
Magnetman. Clad in red and black armor with his symbol - a magnet - crested atop his head and red sunglasses covering his eyes. Using his Magnet Missiles, Magnetman is always trying to prove himself to his teammates. He needn't worry as his teammates trust him as if they've known him for years. Jonathan S, as Magnetman, uses his Magnet Missiles to destroy enemies from any angle. They have the uncanny capability of homing in on enemies and delivering a crushing blow - providing the enemy is made of metal.
Geminiman. The Twin Terror. Geminiman has crystal - like armor which he enjoys polishing. Able to split into two, Geminiman is considered the leader if anything should happen to Shadowman. His mighty Gemini Laser was created by Doctor Light and has the power to bounce off any surface at slow moving speeds meant to confuse the enemy. Lennon, as Gemini, has a strong will and a good heart. He's always willing to help his friends should they need it.
Needlegal. Shadowman's sister, Needlegal was developed at the same time as Shadowman, but only joined the team later after Needleman left. Clad in blue armor with Needles atop her head, Needlegal is caring and responsible. She worries about the other 'Maniacs and makes sure they're alright in a fight. With her Needle Cannon, Needlegal is capable of firing holes in a tank.
Shadowman. The leader of the Mechanical Maniacs. A ninja robot, Shadowman uses his star-like Shadow Blades to carve enemies into pieces with deadly accuracy. Clad in purple-blue armor with a long purple-blue scarf and a ninja star adorning his hood-like helmet Gauntlet (known as Shadowman) is the sole remaining original robot master left of Wily's stolen robots. It is his indomitable will and vision that keeps the team together. It doesn't matter if they're facing ninjas, giant robots, or environmentalists; Shadowman keeps the team focused on being the best team they can be. Never stopping. Never quitting. Always striving to be the best.
"Oh, this is pathetic."
The Mechanical Maniacs all shift nervously on the stage. With bright lights on them they were feeling very nervous and that was not the answer they wanted to hear. There were three judges standing behind an elaborate desk looking on our heroes with expressions of boredom, and strained patience. And if that weren't enough, the 'Maniacs were surrounded by television cameras, adding to their stress. With their hearts on their sleeves and hopes held high, the team readied themselves for a verbal onslaught.
"What do you mean by that?" Asked a very nervous Topman.
"Well, I'll tell you," replied the dark haired British judge, "and I'll go slowly so you don't miss anything. First of all, you're a freakin' kid with a top on his head. What in the Hell is up with that? Hoping the criminals laugh themselves to death before leaving you alone? And what's your weapon? Gonna shoot those stupid little Beyblade things at people?"
"No .... I spin at people"
"That's even worse! And you're not much better, Magnetman. I mean..... why on Earth do you have a magnet on your head of all places? Are you a hood ornament? Spark-Chan, you're just (and I'll come right out and say this since no one else will) an idiot."
"Idiot??"
"Yes, Spark-Chan. And don't look at me that way, I'm not saying this to be mean, I'm just being honest. You think everything's going to turn out hunky-dorey tra-la-lah. He-lo. Real world calling. Things don't always turn out for the best. And you - Snakeman. What do you actually do for the team? You're on that other team, right? I haven't seen you do much fighting here, though. And, by looking at you, I'll just assume that's because you're just a spindly weak robot with no good powers."
"HEY!!" Snakeman could barely restrain his rage, but the judge moved on without allowing him time to speak.
"Geminiman, I cannot get it straight whether you're human or not! I mean, aren't you supposed to be a robot? But now you're some kind of cyborg Wily made who uses swords, magic, kung-fu..... basically anything except actually splitting up into two people. What isn't that good enough for you??
Needlegal had just about enough of this. "Hey, you can't say these sorts of things about us! We tried very hard!"
"Yes," said the judge, "and failed quite miserably may I add. I mean, you don't do much yourself either. You just seem to give morals ...... that make little to no sense at all! And you," he said pointing right at Shadowman, "are the worst of the bunch!"
"I'm sure that's not true! Topman's pretty lame!" Laughed Shadowman! Topman sulked in the background as the judge went on.
"No, you are definitely the worst one. You're supposed to be the leader here and what do you do? You're too cheap to even pay for food at Mc Donald's! And what's with that star on your head? What kind of ninja would wear that? It would reflect light in dark areas acting like a beacon ...... unless you don't actually want to be stealthy, then I think it's fantastic. The scarf's also not very practical for a ninja to wear. It adds drag to your movements and, being absurdly long, it's pretty easy for an enemy to simply grab it and yank you down! And why do you have a sword? Shadowman never had a sword in the game! You shouldn't have a sword. You're like some sort of ...... slacker ninja! You sit around at home all day either watching TV or going on the internet making shrines to how "cool" you think you are, all your enemies are morons making all the victories you're so intent on glorifying hollow and useless, and whenever there is work to be done you duck out and try to catch a movie! I mean, you're really a piece of work!"
Shadowman sputtered in disbelief. He didn't know what to say to any of that. Hardman tentatively stepped forwards and cleared his throat. "Uh ..... um..... sir..... your worship ...... uh..... what about me?"
......
The Judge placed his hands on the table and gave a thin smile. "You're perfect. A great mix of down-to-Earth personality and raw power. These deadweights are weighing you down." Hardman couldn't help but smile.
"Worst. Site. Ever." said a fat judge also sitting at the table. "We're actually growing less intelligent just from sitting in the same room with you."
"Do you have anything to add?" The British judge said as he turned to a small fellow sitting beside him. The small guy thought for a second and said, in a thick Mexican accent, "Nah. I think you did a pretty good job of telling these losers how much of a loser they are. I mean, I doubt I could add much more to this. Except maybe pointing out that Shadowman types like a two year old. Like ... with brain damage or something. I hope he learns how to spell if he wants to go on making that shitty looking website he has. Otherwise, people are just gonna make their own, better Megaman three team. In fact ... I think I just may do that myself."
