The Unnamed: A Mechanical Maniacs Mini-Novel

By Gauntlet (Shadowman)

Chapter 7

Monsteropolis prison.

The name sent shudders into every robot and mechaloid in the world.

Needlegal, Spark Chan, Hardman, and Magnetman approached the building with unease. The structure seemed harmless enough. Pillars supported a high colonnade in the classical Greek style. It was made of metal, but treated to look like stone. It was smaller than a human prison. Captive robots didn’t need elaborate cells, oh no. It was much worse when a robot went rogue and was caught.

The four checked in.

“We’re here to see the Evil Eight. We called earlier,” said Needlegal, the representative of this part of the ‘Maniacs.

The police bot looked through the registry on his computer. All police bots looked the same, dull grey robots with round heads and bodies wearing a blue uniform in the traditional police style.

“Ah, yes,” the bot said, “everything is in order. I will bring you to the criminals.”

The ‘Maniacs followed the robot police officer through many hallways and finally down to a tightly-sealed room. The officer opened up the room without hesitation and let the ‘Maniacs in. The robot prison.

To humans it may not have seemed so bad, but to robots – to the Mechanical Maniacs – it Always brought a shudder. Lining the walls were rows and rows of robot heads. Different designs, different sizes, some small, some large, some scary and some pleasant all were eerily displayed on the walls of Megalopolis prison. After Wily’s many robotic rebellions the police force of Megalopolis realized that some robots needed to be contained as evidence of Wily’s treachery. And that’s where the prison came in. Oh, sure some robots were “rehabilitated” with new programs and re-programmed personalities, but that hardly made the place seem any less chilling. Of course the robots that are too common or too far gone are summarily destroyed. Despite their unique personalities robots were not considered to be people. Truly all robots had one thing in common – they did not want to be caught and put in Megalopolis prison.

“This way,” said the officer indicting a room to the right of the holding area. The guard opened the door with practiced movements and it slid open releasing cold, sterilized air. The ‘Maniacs gasped and drew back. There was the Evil Eight. Or rather, their heads. Glaring at them with cold, angry eyes.

“Would you like a guard?” asked the police bot. Shadowman’s sister declined the offer and the guard informed them that if they should need anything to simply call out. The Megaman three team stepped into the room and the door slid shut behind them. No one said a word. The new Spark Chan could understand why the Evil Eight hated them so after seeing this. She had no idea Monsteropolis could be so cruel to it’s robots …. However, they were still only robots.

“So,” spat Omniman, the leader of the team, “here you are. To gloat?”

“No, not to gloat,” said Hardman. It was so like Omniman to think that way.

“Don’t think we’re stopped! I’ll find a way outta this mess and when I do I’ll be more powerful than ever! None of you will be able to stop me!” screamed Chimeraman. Golemman bellowed in agreement.

Magnet found it funny. These annoying junk robots have been pestering the Mechanical Maniacs for years and now they’re just heads and they are still making threats they can’t back up.

“You guys aren’t so tough,” said the red robot while adjusting his shades, “right now you couldn’t even hurt a baby!”

“What do you people want?” Cleaveman asked, having no interest in idle threats or banter.

“Doctor Wily’s fortress,” said Spark Chan, “where is it?”

Clawman chuckled. “Didn’t find it where you expected it to be did you traitor? The doctor moved it shortly after you betrayed him.”

Magnetman clubbed the black colored head of Clawman, “aw, suddap you clod!”

Clawman growled at the insult. “If I had my body I would cut you to ribbons!”

“Yeah, well you don’t do you now? Not much of a ninja are you?” laughed Magnet.

“Feh. At least I’m not some sort of replacement. Titanium 91 was twice the Magnetman that you are. If you didn’t have other people backing you up you would have died on your first day!”

“What did you say!?” cried Magnet as he lunged, ready to attack Clawman’s head. Hardman held him back saying, Easy, kid. He’s just trying to get yer goat.”

Magnetman wasn’t calmed. “Yeah? So I’m no good am I? Well, look at you! At least I can move around! But you can’t even do that much can you? You just a bunch of talking, useless heads! You think Wily’ll come back for you? He’s given up on you morons!”

“That’s not true!” Omniman protested.

“Wily made us to match your team power for power! Unlike his other robots we’re totally loyal to Wily! He’d never toss us aside!” shouted Spinman who was without his trademarked disk.

“Wily’s our pal!” shouted Warman, who would have squashed Magnetman if he only could.

“Oh, wake up!” shouted the magnetic robot, “Wily doesn’t care a thing for you or any other robot. And what if he did want to recreate your stupid Evil Eight? You’re just heads now! He’d have to break in here, steal your heads and then build new bodies! Think Wily would do that? Even after Chimeraman went berserk on him? Think Wily would go to the trouble? Or …. Would he just replace all you losers with copies?”

Artilleryman screamed. That is definitely something Wily would do, but he just couldn’t accept it. “No! No, that would never happen! We’re gonna be back better than ever before! And then I’ll personally shove it up yer ass, ya stupid magnet wearing pansy!”

Magnetman wriggled out of Hardman’s tight grip and began to knock on Artilleryman’s head. “Oh? So whatyagonna do? Hunh? Ya stupid severed head! You’re not even original, you’re just a recolored Crashman! If I were you, I’d stop calling other people stupid!” Hard, Needle, and Spark chuckled at the sight of Magnetman pounding on the severed head of Artilleryman. Artillery found it less amusing, however.

“You think you’re funny punk? I’ll show ya funny!” he spat as a small panel opened up from his head. Before Magnet had any time to react or even to utter a word a small, thin needle shot out from the panel and hit Magnet on his forehead.

Magnet instinctively drew back in surprise. Artilleryman, Warman, and Spinman grinned in delight. If they had mouths Clawman, Cleaveman, Chimeraman, Omniman and Golemman would have too.

“What….. what did you do to me?” said Magnet weakly right before crashing to the floor unconscious.

“Jonathan!” shouted Spark Chan grabbing his body.

“A robotic Gom Jabbar,” said Chimeraman. “Artillery developed it a few days ago. He only had the one prototype. It causes a massive virus that can cripple a robot forever. Even now Magnet’s files are being corrupted. He won’t recover! Even if we’re heads forever he won’t even have his!” Chimeraman laughed manically and Golemman chuckled alongside him, vaguely aware of the intended humor.

“There is no way I’m staying here and being a head forever!” shouted Artilleryman, surprising his comrades. “I’d rather die than stay in this living death!”

Electricity shot out from Artilleryman’s head and into the table below.

“What are you up to?” shouted Hardman as he made a grab for Artilleryman’s head.

“Wait, Hard! Artillery probably has –“ Needlegal’s comment was cut off as Hardman was electrocuted by a force field surrounding the severed heads!

With a questioning look, Hardman turns to Needlegal.

“In an emergency security fields are activated around all prisoners to prevent their escape. Only this time it prevents us from stopping that madman!”

“You coulda said something!” shouted Hardman over the growing buzzing noises made by re-routed electrical circuits.

“I tried – “Needlegal began, but was cut off by large sparks blowing out of control panels!

”What are you doing?” shouted Warman.

“I’m not staying a head forever. I’m not! I’d rather die!” shouted Artillery as even more sparks shot from the walls. Needlegal could hear pounding on the door of the holding area. Clearly the police bots were trying to get into the room, but whatever damage Artilleryman was causing was preventing that.

“He’s planned for this!” Needlegal realized, “and by the looks of his buddies they had no clue about this.”

“But what do we do? Magnet’s hurt!” said a concerned Spark Chan.

Needle thought for only a moment. The answer was obvious. “We need to stop Artilleryman. Spark Chan, go to the control panel over by the door. You should be able to send an electrical current through that system and into every other system in the building. A large enough current will – “

“He’s dying!” shouted Hardman. “There’s no time to waste with stopping this lemming!”

“We have to! There’s no other way to – “ Needlegal was interrupted as Hardman used a double hard Knuckle to break down the door.

“We gotta save Magnet!” said Hardman. “Spark, take him along!”

“No!” said Needlegal, “we have to stop this madness before – “

“Before someone gets hurt? We have to GO! NOW!” Hardman shouted as he left the room. With a reluctant look Spark Chan followed.

“No! “ shouted Omniman, “You have to save us!”

“I’ll never live this way!” shouted Artilleryman, building up more and more energy. His red eyes were glowing more brightly than ever before and now the entire building was shaking.

“Maniac! Where is your honor?” Claw man shouted.

With a resigned look Needlegal left the room leaving the Evil Eight alone with Artilleryman’s screams.

***********

In the end all that was left of the police station was a smoldering wreck. It was likely that the robotic prisoners survived. Most of them anyway. As for the Evil Eight, almost all the heads were found. Almost everyone ….. save for Artilleryman. The other heads had some damage, but it was likely they could be repaired. Less likely that they ever would be though. No one was in a hurry to repair dangerous robots.

“There wasn’t anything we coulda done, Class,” said a tired looking Hardman as he lay his large grey hand over the diminutive robot’s shoulders.

This sent a course of anger through Needlegal. “Oh isn’t there? If you had overloaded the circuits in the panel like I told you to the force field would have dropped and then we could have easily stopped Artilleryman! Now all the Evil Eight are too damaged to speak and we have no clue where Wily’s hideout is!”

Classi looked down unhappily. How could Needle be so callus? “And she might have overloaded herself too, did ya think of that?” shouted the massive blue and grey robot.

“She’s made to handle electricity. And you. Where do you get off disobeying my orders?”

“I can’t believe you!” shouted the large robot, “Magnet’s lying there almost dead, Classi feels terrible, we lost all our information and you’re looking for someone to blame!”

Needlegal let out a scream of frustration. How could these people so such idiots?! “You know what? I’m not gonna sit around debating this with you! We’re going off to find another way to find Wily! And since you just cost us our only lead, we’re gonna have to really work at it.”

“Yer outta line, Needle!”

“Oh, I’m outta line?”

Hardman clenched his fists in frustration. “Yes you are! Magnetman is dying, our first priority is to him!”

“I was on this team twice as long as you! Maybe three times as long! Our first priority is to find and crush Wily! Magnet would still have been sick and we’d have succeeded in our mission!”

“He needed help right away! It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been on the team, everyone knows I’m the only one who could stand on his own!”

Needlegal couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “Who’s everyone? “That British guy”? He was one of the Evil Eight in disguise you dope!”

“It doesn’t make him less right.”

Needlegal had heard enough. “Alright, that’s it. I’m sick of arguing with you. I’m going to find Wily right now. I hope you’re happy, you screwed everything up!” Needlegal; then teleported away.

“We …. Did do the right thing. Leaving I mean. Magnet needs us,” said a disturbed Spark Chan.

“Of course we did, Spark. Of course.”