The Unnamed: A Mechanical Maniacs Mini-Novel

By Gauntlet (Shadowman)

Chapter 6

Why is the world so full of incompetence?

“Look, my plan is simple,” Torchman began while pacing inside Sinister Six headquarters, “ we have Crorq, the most powerful supercomputer on the planet. We use him to take over all other computers and thusly rule the world! Simple. Easy. So, let’s do it!”

Blademan scoffed. “No not easy. The Megalopolis city council have erected protective systems after all the times Wily made the exact same plan –“

“Then we tear them down!” Torchman interrupted. Blademan gave his leader a cold stare.

Despite Torchman’s talk, the Sinister Six’s fortunes were not faring well. Their base was in Monsteropolis’ junk yard. Sounds of robot meeting their final end can be heard as the evil band of misfits converse. The floors of their base are concrete and the room is decorated with junk found from old robots which might prove to be useful. The Six sit at a large circular table scrapped together by Bitman while Crorq looks over the proceedings from close by. As a giant, non human robot Crorq cannot sit down. His massive body and strong legs were built to withstand and combat Megaman, not for casual use.

“You all give up too easily. With Crorq’s intelligence we can find a way to crack those barriers!”

“My analysis shows an eighty five percent chance of failure in such a plan, therefore it would be ill-advised to even attempt it.,” said the supercomputer dispassionately.

Torchman growled in frustration. Even Crorq had lost his drive.

“We have to do something!” screamed the frustrated robot, “We can’t just sit here aimlessly!”

Bitman cleared his throat, “*ahem* Well, boss, unless you have any suggestions I don’t really see what we can do at this point. The mob won’t talk to me anymore and, frankly, not one person thinks we’re either good guy or from the original Megaman three. We can’t just attack the ‘Mechs mindlessly.”

“Yeah, man. All our good plans are done. So until we can think of something really good, I think you should just shut up ya blowhard!” Blademan pounded his fist on what is loosely considered a table to emphasize his point. He didn’t like to lose. None of the Sinister Six did.

“To Hell with you!,” screamed Torchman. How could his allies be so inept? Not being able to take the frustration anymore he left the room.

********

In a flash of light they arrived on the outskirts of the “Sinister Six’s” base. Monsteropolis junk yard. The foul stench of hydraulic fluids and chemical waste lay thick in the air. Shadowman tuned down his sent receptors.

“This place smells awful!” yelled Topman in a loud voice. The other two robots gave him a hard glare. It took him a moment to realize what he had done wrong.

“Oh, right. We’re trying to be sneaky.

“Just turn down your sent receptors and you’ll be fine,” Shadowman told the top robot. “Now, Snakeman, you said you could lead us to their base.”

“You bet, Shadow. I had my search snakes trail those morons the last time we fought. Now they’ll pinpoint where those guys are hiding.”

“Excellent,” Shadowman whispered. “We have to keep watch for cameras. Topman, knock ‘em out when you see them.” Topman nodded enthusiastically. All his self doubts disappeared during the mission.

They followed the snake through the junkyard. Shadowman carefully planted smoke bombs where he thought the “six” had planted cameras, but upon closer inspection none were found. Eventually, the Maniacs figured that there actually were no cameras in the entire junk yard. In fact there was hardly any defenses to speak of.

“What, do they want people to walk in?” Topman asked.

“I don’t think they expected anyone to break into a junk yard,” replied Snakeman.

“Well, even more junk yards have dogs right? Would that be too much to ask?”

Shadowman was tempted to shush them, but he realized that short of someone yelling the “other” Megaman three team would have no idea they were coming. Pathetic. Maybe they should pick a fight with someone competent just to have something to do!

The landfill was large and quite complex. The ‘Maniacs were turned around several times. Topman has an especially tough time navigating the uneven terrain with those roller-skate feet of his. Finally, after wandering through, what seemed like, miles of robotic trash they came upon the small shack of a control center.

This must be their headquarters.

This was getting sad. The entryway was unlocked. Didn’t they have any self respect? The main room was obviously the common room. It had badly damaged rugs which looked like they may have been very expensive at one point, several shelves of different design, and two junky television sets.

The room they wandered in next was the kitchen. Or what passed for a kitchen among robots. Cobbled together energy solidifiers were set on tabletops. They were of different colors with exposed wires, obviously scrapped together from various ‘bots. Waveman’s work, probably. For a water robot he seemed to be adept at repairs. An energy storage device was located in the corner. A robot equivalent to a fridge. The floor was tiles, many of which were cracked. And a small table seemed to be one of the early “robotic tables”; a fad that died out within a year of it’s introduction. It just couldn’t maneuver properly. However, this model seemed to have lost any robotic intelligence it once possessed.

Hm. That ‘refrigerator’……

Shadowman walked silently up to the failed device and opened the door. A nice supply of energy seemed to be inside.

I guess those condensers really do work.

“What are you doing, Shadow?” Topman asked, trying to peek in on the ninja’s work.

“Just some …… insurance.” Replied the ninja.

Topman became flustered. “Oh, just tell me!”

“Shh! I’m trying to be mysterious over here!”

“Tell me!”

“Hush!

Tops, he can tell you later,” said Snakeman, but it was too late. Another door in the kitchen burst open clatters the energy condensers on the shelves. The ‘Maniacs whirled about, readying themselves for battle with whatever force challenged them!

A robo-cat jumped through the doorway chased closely by a robo-dog. Both standard issue robotic pets, except a little battered. Pets such as these were marketed to children, these two were probably abandoned after a child grew old or indifferent to their antics.

The team heaved a sigh of relief. They had not been caught.

Shadowman closed the fridge door, irritated that they “clever” Megaman team had nearly been caught.”

“Now this is exactly the problem here! You guys need to focus! You can’t just go goofing around and expect to never – “

Shadowman was cut off by the crash of a door being swung open much too hard. The broken piece of wood fell to the floor as a familiar red robot stood in the doorway, glaring at the intruders with eyes filled to the brim with hate.

“You!”, he bellowed, “I knew it was you! What have you done with them? What have you done with my team?”

Torchman. Great. Caught by Torchman.

“Well, it looks like we’ve been spotted! Thanks a bunch, Shady!” Snakeman sarcastically said.

Shadowman growled under his breath. At least they had found someone to interrogate.

Topman stepped forward confidently. “Torchie, I dunno what you’re talking about. Now, we’re gonna ask you some questions, and you’ll be wise to answer, ya’hear?”

“Lies!” Torchman spat. Or he would have spat if his mouth weren’t covered by a mask. “You took my comrades, but I shall retrieve them! You’ll be sorry you and your Mechs staged this surprise attack! I am the victim here! A victim of your aggression! But I will not take any more of your abuse!”

The ‘Maniacs stood stunned for just a moment. Torchman was very random. Random or not that moment was all the Torchman needed. He leapt high into the air and fired several fireballs – his Torch Arm - at the Megaman three team! They dodged in all directions. Topman and Shadowman, the fastest of the three robots present, ran to two corners of the room. The ‘Maniacs had fought Torchman many times before and they knew how to beat him quickly and painlessly now. Torchman fixated on Shadowman.

“You! You’re the cause of all this!” Torch yelled and he threw himself on the ninja. Surprised by his speed, Shadowman couldn’t dodge in time.

“You started this ….. this feud between our teams! You were the one who humiliated me in from of everyone countless times! You crushed my hopes and dreams!”

Torchman said this as he pummeled the blue clad ninja with his fist. Torchman rose and aimed his right arm – an arm with a long torch in place of a hand – right at Shadowman’s face.

“But no more! Goodbye Shadow - !” Torch’s speech was cut off as a giant top knocked him off his feet and into the wall in front of him. Torchman rose only to be attacked by several of Snakeman’s Search Snakes. Surprised at the assault, Torchman failed to see Shadowman rise. With satisfaction Shadowman leapt into the air and delivered a whirling kick to Torchman’s head. If he were human, that blow would have broken Torchman’s neck, but as it stands it merely damaged his neck servos causing him to fall to the floor. Twitching. Defeated.

“So, that’s that.” Snakeman sighed.

“Yep”

“I can’t believe he managed to get you in such a tight spot. Aren’t you supposed to be better than that?

Shadow sighed. “I got careless.” His pride was hurt more than anything else.

“So, you’ll kill me like you did the rest of the Sinister Six, eh? Kill me and ruin my reputation while I’m dead is that the plan?”

“Good Lord. Does this guy ever turn it off?” Snakeman asked.

“Not in the time I’ve known him. And I’ve been on the team longer than most.” Topman replied.

Torchman went on, “Well, go ahead! But know that our followers are legion and they will descend upon you after my death! Mark my words, ultimate evil will finally – “

Shadowman slapped the robot across the face. Torchman sputtered, stunned. Shadowman hunched over the defeated nutcase.

“Look, Torch, we just want to know where Bizarro Shadowman is, alright? We didn’t come to kill you, or ruin your “rep” (which is far from spotless, by the way), or anything else. So, just tell us straight, where is that weird version of me?”

This only made matters worse. “You slapped me! I can’t believe you slapped me! Such disrespect! And to think I once admired you…….. You’ve earned yourself an enemy for life this day! Mark my words! Even if I knew where Bizarro was I wouldn’t tell you! In fact ….. he is close. I have him on my team. I have held him back because I wanted this to stay between us, but I now see that such a kind gesture is wasted on you. I will send him forth to feast on you – “

Reaching down Shadowman grabbed a few of Torchman’s exposed wires and pulled them loose. Instantly Torchman’s voice box was disconnected, rendering him unable to speak.

“I think we’ve heard enough.”

”Yeah. The guy’s delusional. But he didn’t see Bizarro. “ Snakeman agreed.

Topman seemed uncertain. “I dunno, guys. What if he was telling the truth? Bizarro has teamed up with Torchman before.”

Shadowman shook his head. “Torchman was reaching. You could tell he didn’t know anything. He’d shove it in our face if he did. Torchman just isn’t that clever.”

Anger shot from Torchman’s eyes. He would remember that.

Shadowman sighed, “We should have known Torchman and his crew weren’t up to anything. They just aren’t capable of devising any other scheme than trying to get the world to think their the real Megaman three team. Common’, guys … let’s head home.”

As the Mechanical Maniacs left Shadowman wondered if Torch really didn’t know anything about Bizarro. Sure he sounded confident enough, but there was always a possibility …… And what happened to the rest of the Sinister Six?