Series 8 Issue #13 - Ascension Part 2

Shortly after a space cruiser starts heading towards Earth in order to pick up the Galactic Council, including their newest member Crorq, the Scissor Army stages a surprising attack on RPD headquarters! They were led by the entire Ascendant Androids who battled not only the Mechanical Maniacs, but also Cossack's Comrades and the Sterling Sentinels. The Androids did their best to defeat the robot teams, but they were simply outnumbered and were forced to retreat. Our heroes were given mere hours to recuperate before a meeting was called that night by the chief of police - Crorq.

Geminiman: Good to see you could make it, Blizzard.

Blizzardman: Yeah, I heard we missed the fun.

Plantman: No biggie. Make love, not war, man.

Flameman: I don't think you'll get that wish. They didn't call us all here to have a party.

Toadman: (Wearing a party hat) Great. NOW someone tells me!

(Toadman takes the hat off and messily eats it.)

Galaxyman: Aw. But I wanted cake.

Toadman: Or at least an all expenses paid trip to a city dump so my sweetling and I can have some alone time.

Skullman: Speaking of which, has anyone seen him?

Shadowman: He wouldn't show after he heard Toad would be here.

Toadman: Playing hard to get, is she?

Shadowman: "He."

Toadman: Says you.

Ringman: Toad, remember what we talked about? We're not speaking to the Mechs.

Shadowman: What? Why?

Ringman: I'm not speaking to you. But I'll just say out loud for anyone to hear that the Mechs won over the Androids by tossing us under the bus. That's why they're all functional while half of us are still undergoing repairs! It's the one thing Drill and I have ever agreed on.

Shadowman: Ridiculous!

Hardman: Actually...I may have done just that.

Shadowman: Not helping, Hard.

(Crorq and Terra walk into the briefing room. Lights dim and a large monitor shows a projection of the rocky mountains.)

Crorq: As you know the Sentinels brought Gyroman into our headquarters and allowed him to use a signal to pierce our shields and let in the entire Scissor Army.

Jewelman: That's hardly fair.

Crorq: Luckily for us, you have me at the helm, taking incompetency of planetary levels and turning it into greatness. Because of my brilliance, the Sentinels' blundering in allowing Gyroman to transmit a signal to the Scissor Army will allow us to attack the lion in its den. You may now applaud.

(After an awkward silence the robots in the room give out a few half-hearted claps.)

Magnetman: So, how'd you manage that fine piece of detective work?

Needlegal: (Whispering) Don't encourage him.

Crorq: You're right to ask, Magnet. It was brilliance personified and only possible because of my own quick thinking. (Crorq produces a large bucket of greasy, wet, oily chicken wings from a hidden compartment and tosses one into his mouth, continuing his explanation as he has his snack. Still new to this, Magnet cringes) You see, when that moron Gyroman sent out his signal it triggered a ping in my own shields and I, supercomputer that I am - detected it, I instantly waited for the returning address. Fate, not disappointing me, sent in more than a few - namely the entire Scissor Army. Using all these addresses I have been able to track down their central location. Oh, yes, they did try to cover their tracks, but when you teleport an entire army, there are only so many routers they could send their signal through. Any normal robot would have been thwarted, but not I! I, Crorq the MAGNIFICENT tracked them all back to the source! And that's where I'm sending you.

Terra: Now if you would all please -

Magmaman: Uh, you are going to tell us about where you're sending us...right?

(Terra and Crorq exchange glances.)

Crorq: (I told you someone would ask) Very well, red Needleman.

Magmaman: Uh, that's Magmaman.

Terra: Nobody cares, Red

Crorq: As I was saying, the location has been pinpointed in the Rocky Mountains. Given the sheer number of Scissor Joes we've faced, we believe this is another undiscovered Scissor Army base from the war's heyday and we're hoping it could lead us to any remaining bases. So don't go around destroying any data storage devices. Hardman. I'm talking to you.

Hardman: Yeah, yeah, I got it. But even if I did destroy anything you could still retrieve the data like you did from my old Fireman body right? That thing was practically slag.

Crorq: I had the remains of your Heatman body to aid in that, but yes. I could restore anything. If I didn't have any billion other important things to do, so just try and remember how to be intelligent. Oh, Magnet?

Magnetman: Yeah, boss?

Crorq: You have my permission to hurt him. At any time.

Magnetman: Will do, boss.

Crorq: Unfortunately, we don't know much else. I believe that they sent the bulk of their forces against us, but who can say? Does that satisfy your curiosity?

Magmaman: Not really.

Crorq: TOO BAD!

Terra: Now, then, you have two hours to get co-ordinated. We can teleport you just outside of their facility, but of course their own anti-teleportation field extends just beyond their walls, so it's up to you to get in. We'll be depositing you in different locations for a multipronged attack. Cossacks, Sentinels, you'll be grouped together since you managed to lose exactly half your team each. Try harder next time.

Ringman: Tell that to the Mechs! They used us to get themselves ahead!

Crorq: Then they're better than all of you, now aren't they? In addition to your meager might some of our own will join the battle.

Terra: I couldn't just leave the glory to all of you, could I?

Crorq: RaThor and Princess will also join you. So you'd better not screw up! Dismissed!

Shakeman: Do you want that anti-stress shake now?

Crorq: No I don't! (Throws a chicken wing at Shakeman.)

(The teams disperse and the Mechs convene in their quarters.)

Magnetman: So this is it. The final assault against those Scissor Army fellows. I kinda wish I was around during that War; I'd have shown 'em a thing or two.

Geminiman: Sure you would have.

Magnetman: I would! You think Mesmerman would have gotten to me? There's a reason he hasn't yet, boyo. My will. It's like iron.

(The building begins to shake.)

Topman: What's that?

Snakeman: The Galactic Council's cruiser. It's finally arrived.

Spark Chan: And that means Crorq's taking his leave. Probably while we're all out there fighting.

Hardman: And you're sure I can't make sure he doesn't?

Shadowman: No. This has to be done my way. (Glances at Magnetman.)

Magnetman: No, I agree. I can do sneaky. I seldom see the need, but I'm 100% on board.


Geminiman: Are you really?

Magnetman: Yes, dagnabbit, I'm in! Don't pester me, boy. This is hard enough as it is.

Shadowman: Right. So, here's the plan. We'll teleport in and Snake, Magnet and I will get lost in the fighting. It'll be nuts out there; I'm sure we'll have plenty of opportunities. When I give the signal we'll teleport back in. With RPD officers coming in for repairs I'm sure we won't be noticed. Then we'll take Crorq out of the picture. As for the rest of you, I want you to take the Scissor Army down. Hard!

Hardman: Yeah?

Shadowman: What. Oh. I wasn't addressing you, I said "hard", as in "with extensive force that ensures they won't recover."

Hardman: Heh, that'll do just fine. It may not be Crorq, but those asshats used me up and spit me out as part of their war machine back in the day. A bad day for the Scissor Army is a good day for me.

Geminiman: And who'll be in charge of this operation?

Shadowman: Needlegal.

Geminiman: Needlegal!?

Shadowman: (Shrugs) She's due.

Needlegal: It's about time!

Spark Chan: Don't let it get to you.

Geminiman: Yeah, alright.

Topman: And, guys? If this all goes wrong...let's meet at the abandoned emerGEnesis facility.

Shadowman: emerGEnesis?

Topman: People would think to look at Hadrian's old bar or the old S6 place or...anywhere else, really. But that place is virtually abandoned.

Shadowman: Good thinking.

Magnetman: Yeah, pard. That's thinking ahead.

Spark Chan: Yeah. We all should really think ahead. To all the possibilites.

Shadowman: Then this is it. By the end of the day both the Scissor Army will be gone and so will that corrupt, overbearing, egotistical, petty, disgusting computer, Crorq!

Needlegal: Oh boy. Something tells me being sneaky isn't the only reason you wanted to stay behind and go for the yellow cheese, is it?


An hour later the teams and RPD forces arrange themselves outside of RPD headquarters. The team is surprised to see just how many forces they've scrounged up. Some bore some hasty repair work; obviously fighters from the assault on Monsteropolis mere hours ago. The Lionmen were there too, wearing suits the Mechs recognised from Tar's earlier assault on the city; suits stolen by "Catch 22" aka Crorq* as he sowed chaos on Monsteropolis in order to secure power.

(*Curse of the Lion Men Parts 1 and 2)

Galaxyman: Are you sure it's safe for you to come along?

Lion Woman: We are Lion Men! We fear nothing!

Lion Man: Indeed!

Galaxyman: Uh, okay.

Lion Woman: You on the other hand...stink of fear.

Lion Man: You reek!

Galaxyman: Uh, I'm a robot!

Lion Woman: You stink of it so much we can all smell it despite that.

Galaxyman: Re-really? It's that bad?

Magnetman: What in tarnation is the chief doin'? Why aren't we on our way?

Snakeman: He likes his speeches.

Topman: Eat it up, guys. This is the last time we'll ever have to listen to his garbage. One way or the other.

(As if on cue Crorq strolls out a hastily constructed balcony. Topman rightly thought it was made specifically for this occasion. But what they do not expect is the others that come out with him. The rest of the Galactic Council - Terra, Mr. Holzenbein, Tar, Princess, and RaMoon (carried awkwardly by RaThor) with Shakeman following unsteadily behind them.)

Crorq: (Gestures for silence.)

(Nobody stops talking.)

Crorq: *Ahem*

(Galaxyman stops talking.)

Princess: If you commoners don't stop talking...(Pulls out a kitten from out of nowhere) I start hurting the kitten.

(There is shocked silence.)

Mr. Holzenbein: (Whispering) Nice job.

Crorq: (Pulls out a whole box of glazed, jelly-filled doughnuts. The super computer pops one into his mouth and the crowd is forced to watch as its juices ooze out. Crorq's screens show a smiley face as he begins to orate.) My friends. And yes, I do consider all of you my friends. Even the people whose names escape me now and others who I pointedly ignore in the office. You are all near and dear to my heart. And yet our time together is coming to an end. This mission shall be my last here on this dismal, dark, pathetic, dirty, lowly, uncouth...lovely little planet before I Olympus above to overlook all!

(The Cossacks and Mechs break out into grins. Ring and Toad give each other high fives.)

Crorq: I WILL STILL BE IN CHARGE OF THE ROBOT POLICE! You will simply lose my physical presence, but rest presence will still be felt. The Council has decided order on this backwards little world is a priority for them and so I retain my control of the planetary Robot Police...and the law enforcement officials on our other worlds as well. (Aren't I brilliant?)

(The smiles deflate immediately. Magmaman hands Jewelman a wad of cash.)

Terra: (Whispering) Look at that. So popular.

Crorq: Today you will be sent into our old enemy's lair. The war General Cutman began over 15 years ago will truly end. TODAY! Chances are, I will not see some of you again.

Topman: (Whispering) That's a very good bet.

Magnetman: (Eyes Topman uneasily.)

Crorq: But know that you will go to put an end to the greatest threat humanity has ever faced. We thought the Scissor Army had been defeated thanks to a spiteful move by its creator,* but he orchestrated its return all too soon. Once more we thought it was defeated thanks to the sacrifice of two of our finest, but again, they reappeared shortly after.**

(*Series 6's Business of War ** It happened in between Series 6 and 7)

Crorq:This time we finish them for good! It's obvious the Scissor Army is in disarray. We crushed the Ascendant Androids in their last attack and now is the time to go for the meat! The fresh, moist, savoury, delicious meat! With barbeque sauce. Not the cheap stuff either with that weird sweet aftertaste - the really good kind. Perhaps...with some mashed potatoes on the side. Dripping with gravy. And...

Mr. Holzenbein: (whispering) What is he doing?

Ra Moon: (Whispering) I have no idea.

Crorq: Fresh and frothy. Straight from the tap. And...

Princess: (Whispering) If he doesn't shut up about food I will personally -


(Crorq's screens light up with an exclamation mark, clearly surprised by Tar's interruption.)

Tar: That is right. I, the mighty Tar, will join the fight against humanity's greatest foes.

Princess: I'm in the mood to kick some ass. Don't get in my way.

Terra: The Stardroids can't make it in time, but I'll be damned if I let all of you hog the glory.

Ra Moon: And...RaThor will go as well. In my place.

RaThor: (while still holding Ra Moon aloft) I FIGHT FOR THE MAJESTY OF RA MOON!

Crorq: And I shall co-ordinate you all.

Mr. Holzenbein: With my assistance.

Crorq: (Muttering) Yeah, I've co-ordinated a faction in an entire world war all by myself, but I'm certain you will be an asset and not at all be in the way.

Spark Chan: (Whispering) Ra Moon hasn't said what he'll be doing.

Geminiman: I suspect he's done all he's going to.

Crorq: You've all received your brief. Which is basically a whole lot of guesswork. We haven't been able to determine exact numbers or specs on the terrain. But I have faith in each and every one of you. My army. My friends. Godspeed!

(With that last exclamation groups begin to teleport off into battle.)


(In a flash of Light the Mechs are transported to their area of battle. It's still the evening on the west side of the continent, but they can see the battle that surrounds them well enough. They were sent through after a first few rounds of RPD officers and the rest of the Mega Man teams.)

Shadowman: Alright, everyone, stay close! We have - WHOA!

(From out of nowhere a Siege Joe fires a large cannon at the incoming Mechs. It explodes behind them, scattering RPD forces.)

Siege Joe: You were fools to come here. We will crush you!

Officer Bot: This is a madhouse!

Neo Officer: Yeah. I missed it.

Needlegal: Shut up and take that thing down!

Snakeman: There weren't Siege Joes in the assault on HQ. Do you think there are any other nasty surprises?

Topman: (After knocking the head off a Mystery Joe) There's gotta be at least one. The big boss is still here. He's gotta be!

Spark Chan: (While electrocuting some Nightshade Joes) And don't forget the Androids.

Snakeman: I don't'd think the Androids would have shown up by now if they could. We couldn't fix half of our guys after the big attack on HQ, maybe the Androids are out of the picture.

Magnetman: That'd be fine by me. I don't wanna tussle with them if I don't have to.

Hardman: (After getting up off a severely damaged Siege Joe) So when are you guys taking off?

Shadowman: After the Council arrives. We'll help you get as far as the base and then you're on your own.

(The Mechs are about halfway through the swarm of Scissor Joes as the Galactic Council members arrive.)


Princess: For FUN you mean! THIS is what I've been longing for. A chance to really cut loose!

(Princess fires energy beams from her hands and fries all robots in an area - Scissor Army and RPD alike.)

SWAT officer: Where is that lady aiming!?

Scissor Joe: She's nuts!

RaThor: (Faintly, from across the battlefield) FOR THE GLORY OF RA MOON!

Hardman: Looks like the party's really gettin' started now.

Shadowman: Everyone's focused on the Council members. It's time to make our move and stop Crorq.

Magnetman: ...

Spark Chan: Good Luck.

Hardman: Hit him once fer me.

(Shadow, Snake, and Magnet teleport away leaving the rest of the Mechs to battle the hordes of the Scissor Army.)

Geminiman: So, what now, "boss"?

Needlegal: What now? We hit these suckers hard, that's what!

Hardman: You know, I could learn to like you as leader, Needs.

(Back at RPD HQ, Shadowman emerges from a shadow and motions for the team to move forward. The rest do as quietly as possible.)

Magnetman: I must say, this sneaking around ain't my style.

Shadowman: You volunteered for this mission, Mags.

Snakeman: And we can trust you. Can't we?

Magnetman: Well...yessir. You can at that.

Shadowman: Then move...quietly.

(The Mechs sneak further into the base. Shadowman quietly disables an Officer Bot and the trio sneak into the main security area. Magnetman disables the cameras as Snakeman's snakes fill unseen spaces and wire themselves discreetly into the RPD's computer.)

Shadowman: How much time do we have before liftoff, Snake?

Snakeman: Uh...lots of time, actually.

Magnetman: Come again?

Snakeman: There's no startup sequence or anything. The ship's not taking off at all.

Magnetman: Maybe the bo - Crorq wants an audience. He seems like a showy sort of ass.

Shadowman: Well...that'd fit. I'm surprised, though. He's been talking about it for a month now.

Snakeman: Shush! Someone's coming!

(The Mechs all quiet up. Steps can be heard approaching the team.)

Shadowman: We have to be careful not to hurt any officer bots if we can help it. It's Crorq we want.

Magnetman: And if it's one of the guys from the other teams?

Shadowman: Same thing. Well...except Diveman. I can't stand that guy.

Magnetman: Nobody can.

Snakeman: Forget Dive. (narrows eyes) It's their Toadman that needs to be ripped apart into a thousand pieces.

Shadowman: Here he comes!

(The Mechs peer from the shadows as Shakeman walks by ringing his hands and talking to himself.)

Shakeman: "A once in a lifetime opportunity!" Why does he do these things to me!? I give him all kind of horrible, disguising shakes and - and he's so mean to me! He so mean, but he won't let me leave! And he threw me off the building - who throws a guy off a building!? It's almost...

(Shakeman's voice trails off as he continues down the hall.)

Shadowman: That's one down.

Magnetman: Where's Ra Moon? We're not after him, but that hombre could be two sacks of trouble if we stumble 'pon him unawares.

Snakeman: No readings from his room. I think he's asleep.

Shadowman: Figures. And Mr. Holzenbein?

Snakeman: He's...WHOA! Oh! I did NOT need to see that!

Magnetman: What? What did you see?

Snakeman: He was...oh, man.

Shadowman: ...I'm morbidly curious.

Snakeman: He's with a Lion Woman and Cheerbot. And,, man. Is that even legal? It's so...wrong in so many ways.

Shadowman: You say "with" as in...with with?

Snakeman: Yeah, that's what I mean.

Magnetman: Cheerbot? That sweet slip of a girl? I hope your curiosity's satisfied, Shadow.

Shadowman: Aw, man. I just can't...awwww...

Snakeman: You think you have it bad? I can see what my snakes see. And I can't unsee that!

Shadowman: Let's just keep on moving. Holtz is a creep and we may very well have to get him one day, but right now Crorq's the one we're after.

Magnetman: Right.

(Elsewhere, the battle rages on at the Scissor Army's last stand!)

Princess: (Tearing through Scissor Joes a distance away) Ah hah hah hah hah! You can't stop me! None of you can!

Hardman: That Princess...

Topman: Yeah, she's crazy. And she's on the Council!

Hardman: She'd have made a perfect Slash Beast. I mean, I wouldn't have traded Lynx for the world, but just look at her! Perfect X-Force material!

Topman: You want to be on her team!?

Needlegal: Head in the game, boys! Gemini's cleared a path.

Geminiman: It was the least I could do.

Geminiman: And don't forget me.

Spark Chan: Yes, good work both of you!

Geminiman: Thank you, my lady.

(The Mechanical Maniacs enter the facility.)

Hardman: Do we have any idea where we're headed?

Needlegal: Of course not.

Spark Chan: Let's keep our eyes open for a map or a computer terminal.

(The ground shakes and the lights flicker on and off.)

Topman: I don't think a computer will be very reliable here. The others are giving this place a pounding.

Magmaman: (Over the radio) Come in! Anyone! Is anyone in the facility yet?

Hardman: Anyone? Even me?

Magmaman: Damn it. Yes, even you, you Scissor Army washout. Trace our signal we're - AAAAAAAA *sshhhhhkkkkkzzzzzzz*

(Magma's line cuts out abruptly.)

Hardman: At least we have a heading now.

Topman: Those guys are toast. It's on the other side of the building.

Needlegal: That's true, but it's not like we're alone in here.

???: (over the speakers) Very true, Mechs.

Needlegal: So it's not-General Cutman.

not-General Cutman: Very cute.

Needlegal: Because you're not General Cutman at all, are you? Not even a little bit. General Cutman would have had a plan for all of this.

not-General Cutman: Oh, I do have a plan. It involves a lot of ripping and tearing and killing.

Needlegal: Then why not come on out and save us the trouble of hunting you down?

not-General Cutman: Hunting me down? That's rich. It really is. Because, after I'm done with the others in here I'm coming after all of you. You see, I'm saving you guys for last. I'm want to enjoy this. So, be sure not to let the Scissor Joes in here beat you down too badly. I want that pleasure for myself.

(There's an audible click as not-General Cutman hangs up his audio receiver.)

Geminiman: Did he sound familiar to anyone?

Spark Chan: Not really.

Hardman: Vaguely.

Needlegal: He definitely knows who we are anyway. For all we know it's another one of the General's old projects come back to haunt us.

Topman: Remember Nightmare me and that new Starman? Both oldies from General Cutman's goodie bag.

Geminiman: Too true. We probably haven't even met this person before.

Hardman: Whatever. As long as the Sherriff of Nottingham isn't here to hold me back I'm more than happy to tear this sucker a new one. Come on, we're burning daylight!

Needlegal: Come on where? We don't know where anything is.

Hardman: Who cares? Let's just find a room and destroy anything and everything we see.

(Hardman tears through a nearby door and fires a couple Hard Knuckles into it.)

Hardman: Let's just bring the house down.

Needlegal: *Sigh*

(Snakeman, Magnetman, and Shadowman peer down at Crorq from the ventilation shaft. Actually, Snakeman peers down while Shadowman and Magnet all crouch down awkwardly behind him.)

Magnetman: (Whispering) This sucks.

Snakeman: (Whispering) Not for me really. I have a collapsible skeletal structure.

Magnetman: (Whispering) Well that's just fantastic for you, bub. Me, I got a regular skeletal structure and I say this sucks.

Shadowman: (Whispering) Both of you shut up. Snake, how's it going with the shot?

Snakeman: (Whispering) My snakes are just about ready to strike.

Shadowman: (Whispering) Then take him!

Crorq: (Sounding muffled through the ceiling) What in - oh, so that's how you're playing it, eh? You!

(The room shakes as Crorq stomps around.)

Shadowman: (Whispering) What's going on?

Snakeman: (Whispering) He's putting up a fight, that's what.


(The Mechs have no time to react as Crorq fires a canon blast at them through the ceiling. Caught by surprise the Mechs tumble down.)

Crorq: Seriously, Search Snakes? You think that's all it'd take?

Shadowman: Honestly? Yeah. Yeah, I thought the Search snakes and their venom alone would have done the trick.

Crorq: (While firing at the Mechs.) Well, you thought wrong! I BUILT your armour and I immunized myself against any of Snakeman's attacks a long, LONG time ago.

Shadowman: But not mine. (Shadowman throws three Shadow Blades, but they bounce right off of Crorq's thick hide.)

Crorq: Why in the world wouldn't I? Eat Gravy Train you feckless losers!

(Hot gravy spews from Crorq's cannon, covering Snake and Shadow in a filthy, sticky mess.)

Shadowman: Oh, DAMN IT!

Snakeman: We could use a little help here, Mags.

Magnetman: ...

Crorq: Oh, you mean my addition to your team? Help you? HAH! You people are dumber than I thought. Magnet is, above all, loyal and willing to do whatever it takes to further the cause of justice -my cause. Not yours. And, since you've been so very, very naughty, I think it's time you and your entire team suffered a little...shutdown.

Snakeman: Wait a second - the Shutdown Code!? That was deemed too dangerous and easily abused and decommissioned.*

(*During the massive Business of War)

Crorq: Yes, but it's such a useful little tool that I kept it just for special cases. Like yours. I mean, did you really think I'd bring back someone like Benjamin without a little insurance? And, with you all demanding new armor it seemed like a perfect time to do a little addition of my own.

Shadowman: You bastard.

Crorq: Oh. And by the way: the rest of your team has entered Scissor Army headquarters. Which leaves me with a small puzzle to solve. Do I shut them down during their fight with the Scissor Army's new General (which would guarantee their convenient deaths) or after they've beaten him?

(Elsewhere, Needlegal leads the team deeper into the Scissor Army base and the team finally finds something interesting...)

Needlegal: It's a whole manufacturing facility! This is where all the Scissor Joes have been coming from.

Geminiman: I haven't seen anything like this since the war ended. I thought we got them all.

Hardman: Clearly not. So, what're we waiting for? Let's get crackin'!

???: Oh, LET'S! (A bout of blue flame erupts from behind Hardman, engulfing the blue flame.)

Needlegal: Get 'im!

(Needlegal and Spark Chan begin firing wildly in the direction the shots came from, but their attacker had already left.)

Hardman: Ow. Ow. Ow! I do NOT like being vulnerable to fire. And this fire...feels kinda weird.

(A burst of flame arcs towards the team, taking aim at Topman, but Geminiman launches himself in front of the attack and is completely engulfed.)

Geminiman: WAAAHHH!

Topman: Gems!

(Gemini disappears and the flames wink out as well.)

???: (From far away) Oh, clever.

Needlegal: There! (Needlegal whirls and fires her Needle Cannon, but yelps in surprise as she's forced to dodge a large piece of machinery.)

(Fire erupts from Spark Chan's side and she throws up a shield, protecting herself from the worst of it. Geminiman fires a laser, but again the enemy vanishes, his laughs echoing throughout the facility.)

Geminiman: (While pulling out his Beam Saber in a showy way) Show yourself, coward! There is no honor in the way you fight!

(Geminiman dodges another large piece of machinery that's thrown from directly above him as Needlegal turns her attention to the new point of attack. Despite their quick reflexes their adversary is quicker and grabs Geminiman from behind, lofting him into the air and letting out a monstrous roar.)

Chimeraman: You're one to talk about honor, turncoat! (Chimeraman then covers the shining robot in blue flame. before dropping him and swooping down to avoid Needlegal's spray of needles.)

Needlegal: Chimeraman!? You haven't died yet!?

Chimeraman: Right back atcha.

(Chimeraman turns towards his attacker and dives in a corkscrew pattern, avoiding the majority of her attack and ramming her into the ground.)

Chimeraman: (While alternately slashing and pounding at Needle) Fifteen years. I've spent the last fifteen years rebuilding this place! And then you people have the nerve to reappear.

(Chimera is stunned for a moment by a Spark Shock and then hit with Top bombs as he tries to recover.)

Topman: Fifteen years? Really? I didn't think you had it in you, chuckles.

Chimeraman: Don't you dare.

(More quickly than the team expects Chimeraman pounds Topman into the ground.)

Chimeraman: Don't you dare laugh at me! It was hard, but I was patient. I rebuilt everything here! And then I found old schematics for the Androids - even a prototype Starman and completed that too!

Hardman: So how long exactly did it take to rebuild all of this crap? (Hardman leaps up and crashes himself into some complicated looking machinery. It explodes with the grinning Hardman at the center of it all.)


Hardman: Oh, do go on.

Chimeraman: I'll kill you! You'd like that, but I'll do it anyway.

(Chimera charges at the excited heavy robot. Hardman expects a frontal assault, but Chimera surprises him by stopping short and covering him in flames.)

Hardman: Another fire attack? I know you're stupid, but I never knew how stupid. Enough fire might sting a little, but I'm not weak to it. But then everybody's weak to a good 'ol fashioned punch!

(Hardman fires off one of his Knuckles, but Chimera easily sidesteps the telegraphed attack. The robot continues to pour on flame as Needlegal uses her cannon to attack from a distance while several of Gem's clones fire Gemini Lasers, much of which he cannot avoid. Still, Chimeraman is happy.)

Hardman: It ain't gonna...Ow. Owowowowowow! What in the name of Sigma's green panties is this stuff!?

Chimeraman: (Stopping long enough to gloat) You mean the fire? Okay sure, fire by itself isn't very impressive to a guy like you. But an acidic, chemical fire? I don't care how thick that armour is: you're toast!

(Chimeraman opens wide and fire starts to erupt, but his jaw is snapped shut by a timely kick from Topman.)

Topman: So, you think you're hot stuff? Baby, you ain't seen nothin' yet.

(Topman delivers a series of kicks to the winged robot, but Chimera eventually recovered enough to score hits on the agile orange robot.)

Chimeraman: STAND STILL!

(Chimeraman uses his large, strong arm and pounds at the floor several times causing Topman to stumble. With a triumphant cry Chimera strikes out smashing Topman repeatedly.

Chimeraman: I'm enjoying this, you know. Even if I lose this place, I'm really, really enjoying beating the snot out of all you people after so long.

(Chimeraman reels from a Spark Shot and Topman delivers a Top Spin right at close range, sending the robot flying. Not missing a beat Hardman delivers a crushing blow to Chimera's systems with his own Hard Knuckle.)

Needlegal: Good. I'd hate to think you weren't enjoying every second of this. Keep on him, guys!

Topman: Say...are any of the rest of you feeling a little weird right now?

(Back at RPD HQ Shadow and Snake fall to the ground like puppets with their strings cut off.)

Crorq: OH HOH HOH HOH! OH! OH! You think you're so fast and so clever, but you cannot outrun death on electric wings, can you? NO PRANCING AROUND SAVED YOU THIS TIME, DID IT?

(Crorq kicks Shadowman through a wall, turns quicker than you'd expect and does the same to Snakeman.)

Crorq: That good.

(At that moment Shakeman barges into the room with several Officer bots.)

Shakeman: Boss! We heard fighting. Are you all right!? What happened to Shadow and Snake? What - ?

(Crorq slaps Shakeman with a spindly hand.)

Crorq: Cease your endless prattle!

Officer bot: Are you well, sir?

Crorq: Yes, I'm well. Leave, all of you. And don't return. I told you before, I am not to be disturbed.

Officer bot: Yes, but with the commotion over, we thought you would want -

Crorq: I don't keep you on to think, I keep you on to follow orders. Now move.

(Crorq pulls out a small box of coleslaw and begins to scoop it into his mouth as the robots leave.)

Crorq: So it's done, then. How did it feel? Standing there watching your teammates fall?

Magnetman: How do y'think it feels? I feel like a two-bit traitor.

Crorq: Well don't. I'm on the Galactic Council and, more than that, I'm still the chief of police. That means, in many ways - all the important ways - I am the law. I am justice.

Magnetman: That right?

Crorq: Of course it is. When the Mechs joined up with us, I saw their potential to advance justice, so I pulled some strings and got them on the force. Oh, I'm sure Dr. Light thought he had everything to do with it, but that's simply not true. When they were framed for the destruction of Los Angeles who do you think cleared all the official channels? Why me of course. I saw that I could use them, so I smoothed everything out for them. And that wasn't the only time. You know Ben was on the Scissor Army as Heatman, but Gemini and your predecessor were also part of that group while Spark defected to Wily's side. And Topman just abandoned everyone to look for Light, as if they would help anything. And why was I able to do this? It's because I am the law. My word is justice.

Magnetman: You certainly did a lot for them.

Crorq: That's right. And look at how they've repaid my kindness. But I know that you know the end justifies the means. Sometimes you have to cut a corner or two to get the good work done. I programmed you to know that. To see that justice is the most important thing. More important than your connection to your teammates, more important than some lower authority's rules.

Magnetman: I...certainly do think doing the right thing means cutting out the pointless rules other folk make that just get in the way.

Crorq: Exactly! You made the right call.

Magnetman: ...

Crorq: know, you could have made the effort to incapacitate at least one of them.

(Just then, a snake darts inside Crorq's mouth. The hatches on Croq's body immediately close, but the serpent attacks the robot viciously.

Crorq: *ACK!* *SKKSHH!* *EERRK!*

(From out of the Shadows, a Shadow Blade cuts into Crorq's leg, burying itself deep into the pompous robot.)

Shadowman: I thought you'd be vulnerable at the joints.

Crorq: (After spitting out the remains of a Search Snake) How!? My Shutdown Code! It was built into your systems.

Snakeman: And I've spent a lot of time and effort finding and disabling that nasty piece of work. All you did was send a signal to us that let us know what you just tried to do. We waited while you were gloating for just the right moment.

(Snakeman sends out more snakes that crawl all over Crorq's body, trying to find a weak point. Shadowman tosses another Shadow Blade at the robot, but Crorq is still able to move out of the way.)

Crorq: Don't think we're done yet, Mechs.

(Chimeraman scatters the Mechs attaching him with his fiery breath.)

Hardman: Okay, that stuff? It's really, really startin' to hurt!

Needlegal: Don't get too close.

Topman: I collide into people. That's my attack.

Chimeraman: Fifteen years. For fifteen years I've built all this.

Needlegal: Yeah, and it sucks!

(Chimeraman leaps at the interim Mechs leader, but she quicky darts aside and gouges deep cuts into the feral robot using spikes extending from her porcupine-like armour.)

Chimeraman: RAHHH!

Needlegal: Seriously, you took over a decade to build all of this and you...what? Just hanged back as they attacked randomly? There wasn't any rhyme or reason to your attacks. All this time we've all been wondering at the mysterious plan of the mysterious new General of the mysteriously revived Scissor Army. And there wasn't any plan! All this time it's just you mass producing robots and throwing them at the wall to see what sticks!

(Chimera roars in frustration as two Geminimen leap on top of him, trying to hold him down.)

Chimeraman: I could have won! I WOULD have won!

(Topman tears through Chimeraman, snapping his wings.)

Topman: No you wouldn't have.

(The Geminis let go as a Hard Knuckle send Chimera flying across the room.)

Hardman: Your plan sucked, Chimera. Just sending the Androids on random attacks wouldn't have done anything in the long run.

(Spark Chan sends a powerful spark at Chimera who convulses in pain.)

Spark Chan: You had fifteen years to change; to be a better person, but it looks like all you've done is stand still.

Chimeraman: (Barely standing)

(A Gemini laser rips Chimera in half.)

Geminiman: The feeling's mutual.

(The Mechanical Maniacs stand around their old foe, catching their breath. Despite the victory, they're badly damaged.)

Needlegal: I'm getting reports in. It looks like we've won. The Scissor Army's being completely dismantled. From what I've gathered Chimera's been spending all his time fortifying this place. It's the very last Scissor Joe manufacturing facility.

Geminiman: So, you mean after all this time it's finally over?

Needlegal: That's right. We've finally solved Gaderham's "seemingly insurmountable problem."

Hardman: I have no clue what you mean by that. All I know is that, now that this is all done I'm ready to party.

(The team relaxes while, unknown to them, a figure stands in the shadows watching it all unfold.)

(Back at RPD HQ, Crorq screams as Shadowman delivers a Shadow Blade right into his cannon just as he's firing. The feedback is enough to see the gluttonous chief of police reel back.)

Shadowman: Are you done now, Crorq?

Crorq: Why?? After all I've done for you, I demand to know why.

Snakeman: Other than the constant abuse you inflict on everyone?

Crorq: Abuse!? I give you everything you have and you dare to level charges of abuse against me? ME!?

Snakeman: You're totally corrupt.

Crorq: Co-corrupt!?

Snakeman: You have no problem doing things like breaking into the RPD's cache of Wily weapons and using them to fuel people like Emerald Spears. You have zero problems with using the Wily Rescue Force to attack RPD headquarters just to terrorize the council in order to show them you can keep them safe. You use every single dirty trick in the book to keep yourself at the top of the food chain. And now you want to join the Galactic Council and have even more power!? I don't think so. No way. A guy like you doesn't deserve to be on an organization like that.

???: I respectfully disagree.

(A large purple fist knocks Snakeman to the ground. Instinctively Shadowman throws a Shadow Blade at the attacker, but he's stunned when the attacker charges through, while covered in a familiar purple energy, and crashes right into the robotic ninja.)

???: Crorq's appetite for power is quite pleasing to me. And the rest of our council. It is something a being of your class cannot comprehend.

Snakeman: (While deploying more snakes from the ports on his legs) ...Duo? Is that you? Have you been corrupted by Evil Energy again?*

(*Duo was corrupted by Evil Energy long ago, in the Robotic Raider's epilogues)

???: NO! I'm not that self righteous hypocrite. (The mysterious attacker crushes the snakes under his foot and once more sends a large purple fist crashing into Snakeman. The serpent tries to dodge, but the attacker has caught him off guard.)

(Shadowman attempts to leap at the purple robot from behind, but the robot grabs him and slams him into the ground.)

Trio: I am Trio.

Shadowman: You. You're powered by Evil Energy.

Trio: "Evil Energy." You sound like that judgmental fool Duo. He does not understand, just as you do not understand. There is no "Evil Energy," there is just power. Power and the will to use it to take what you want. That is what my council is about.

Crorq: And with that power we will shape the universe into a nice, tidy order.

Shadowman: Not if we stop you.

Crorq: Believe it or not, I had truly hoped it wouldn't come to this.

Shadowman: I don't believe you.

Crorq: Okay, fine. That's true. I hate you and I'm glad you decided to be stupid.

Shadowman: We've stopped your kind before. Even an Evil-infected Duo. (Shadowman stares intently at Trio.) We will stop you.

Magnetman: I don't think so, partner.

(Shadowman's eyes close momentarily in resignation and Magnetman fires a flurry of bullets into his two comrades. Well, it seems to be a flurry, but it's really just a few magnetically controlled to be a flurry.)

Snakeman: Mags. So this is the side you decided on?

Shadowman: When I brought you here I hoped you'd -

Magnetman: You'd hope I'd what? "See the light?" Wake up! Crorq is right. He may have a shady way of doing things, but he's right on the money.

Shadowman: Right on the...! How can you say that!?

Magnetman: He's cutting through the crap, man. You may not like the way it's done (and I find his attitude offensive, to say the least), but he is getting it done.

Trio: Precisely right. You did good work with this one, Crorq; He seems to understand us.

Magnetman: I do.

Shadowman: Go to Hell!

Magnetman: Eck. Try to comfort yourself, Shad. It's over. Best to just hold on to your dignity. (Magnet offer a scowling Shadow a winning smile.)

Crorq: I'm getting something from the field. Oh, you'll like this. I'll put it on the main view screen.

(The view screen flickers on and an image of RaThor in front of smoking debris appears on the screen.)


Trio: He is defragmenting his hard drive. Again. Give your report to us.


Shadowman: Damn it.

Trio: Excellent. I want you to bring the Mechs to the robot prison immediately, along with whoever was in command of that facility.


Crorq: I don't suppose we can leave now that we've rooted out these traitors, can we?

Trio: No. No, this planet has grown wild in our absence. It's time to re-establish order; to make this planet know that it belongs to the Council. We are not going anywhere.

Crorq: (Sigh) I didn't think so. Sherriff, I want you to escort your former teammates to the Robot Prison as well. It's time to lock them up and throw away the key. (Turns to Shadowman and Snakeman) I hope you two like living in a black void with no hope of escape. So long!

(Crorq straightens himself as best he can.)


(Magnetman quickly grabs Shadowman and Snakeman and teleports them as close to the Robot Prison as he can. He quickly scans the area and sees RaThor teleporting in with holding a limp body that Magnet immediately recognizes as Spark Chan. He takes quick stock and sees that there's only one more of his teammates left unaccounted for. After placing Spark Chan down on the ground RaThor leaves and Magnet rushes to his former comrades lying on the ground.)

Geminiman: Magnet? What's going on?

(RaThor just then finishes teleporting in with Topman. He turns around an is slightly startled to see Magnetman standing behind him.)


Magnetman: Uh, no. I just thought we could compare notes. I see you took down the rest of my old crew.

Geminiman: What?

Hardman: I knew you couldn't be trusted. I just knew it.


Magnetman: Yeah, I figured you could take them down.

Hardman: He wouldn't have if Chimeraman hadn't thrashed us.

(Magnetman picks up a limp Spark Chan.)

Magnetman: Well, there's no use waitin' around. It'll take a few trips to get these guys back to the prison.


Magnetman: Ya did? Well, shoot.

(Quicker than RaThor can react, Magnetman draws his gun and shoots the powerful robot right through the head at point blank range.)

Hardman: Wh-what the Hell!?

Magnetman: Word to the wise: strong and stupid don't mix. Had to let him get his guard down before I could bushwhack him.

Spark Chan: You just killed him in cold blood.

Magnetman: Don't get testy with me, little miss. Guy was barely a fully functioning robot as it stood and that RaMoon fella likely as not has a whole backup of him. He'll fix him up right and proper in no time once he sees the guy's down for the count. So never mind him. It's time for us to vamoose. Can you all move?

Hardman: No.

(Shadowman and Snakeman limp to their team.)

Shadowman: We'll combine our teleportation frequencies and teleport to emerGEnesis. There we can repair ourselves enough to make a proper getaway.

Magnetman: Shadow -

Shadowman: Later. They're onto us now.

Needlegal: And what about goatboy?

(For the first time Snake and Shadow see Chimera.)

Snakeman: Chimera? Chimera's been behind this the whole time?

Shadowman: There's nothing to do. The guys chopped in half with no friends and nowhere to go. Leave him for the cops. I can hear them coming anyway.

Magnetman: Time's wasting. Let's go.

(The team takes a second to synchronize their teleporters and then teleport away to emerGEnesis.)

Magnetman: Here we are, safe and sound.

Topman: Sound!?

Magnetman: Okay, not sound, then.

Expressman: Ah, finally made it here, I see.

Needlegal: Expressman!?

Expressman: Whoa, hey! Truce, okay? We're on the same side right now.

Snakeman: How did you get here? It was Mags, wasn't it? One minute he's trying to kill us the next he's gunning down RaThor and brining us to our safe house. What's going on!?

Magnetman: Chill out! Everyone! Look, okay. I wasn't totally straight with you guys. Truth be told I still had my doubts about whether or not you were right about the bo- Crorq. Right about Crorq. I wanted to see for myself what he'd do if push came to shove. I wanted to know what he thought of all this without all his blathering. And when I saw I just...I didn't like it. You guys were right, he ain't on our side! He's on his own side and always has been. He don't care about justice; he sees hisself as justice. He programmed me to seek out what's right even if it meant ignoring some stupid rules. He thought that meant I'd see things his way - since he sees himself as justice and his word as law. That's where he screwed up with me.

Snakeman: And you just stood there while he was pummeling us...why!?

Magnetman: I was still making up my mind, dang it. It's hard to turn on your creator. Maybe not fer you, but it is fer me! And then that Trio guy showed up and I saw we three were no match for that dude. I had to save you guys from yerself, so I put a few holes in you and figured they'd send me to escort you to prison - which they did.

Snakeman: Which let you rescue all of us.

Magnetman: Yessir, that's correct.

Geminiman: I don't think so. You're just waiting on the right moment to stab us all in the back so you can look good to your boss - Crorq. And maybe even the rest of those corrupt council members.

Magnetman: You're one to - no. No, I suppose I can see your point. Let's just turn on the TV to see what's up. I'm sure we've made headlines by now.

(Magnetman strolls on over to a television he seemed to put there earlier and turns it on. He flips through a few channels until he gets to the one he wants.)

Crorq: -incarcerated for all time. And that filthy traitor Magnetman will rue the day he crossed with me - the law! The day he crossed the law!

Ripot: Then it's true? The new Magnetman you commissioned yourself has turned on you?

Crorq: Yes, unfortunately that seems to be the case. As much as it pains me, I must now rescind his authority along with the rest of his insurgents. And before you ask I have no idea what he was thinking! His systems must have been corrupted somehow. Whatever the case may be I want him to know - I want them all to know-

(Magnetman turns off the television.)

Magnetman: He's been shouting in my ears since the Officer bots saw us all teleport away. He only stopped a little while ago, so I guess that's when this press conference was called.


Needlegal: And what about Expressman over there?

Magnetman: I busted him out to show us the way to the Wily Underground.

Topman: You mean the underground network of Wily affiliated robots? The ones we've been hunting as part of the Robot Police!?

Magnetman: The very same!

Expressman: I can't say that you'll be welcome with open arms, but we could use all the help we can get.

Needlegal: And what's with you and that Joe body?

Expressman: (Sigh) Yeah. Mags here rescued me, but by the time he got there my body was already recycled. So he made do. It sucks, but I'll be okay. Doc Robot will fix me right up.

Needlegal: And you think we can trust you?

Expressman: Trust me or not, I have nothing against you guys.

Needlegal: Nothing?

Expressman: Okay, maybe I do have a little bit against you guys, but I'm going home. You can either follow me or not. Your choice.

Spark Chan: Guys ...

Geminiman: Yes?

Spark Chan: Going undergorund ... getting chased by the cops...fighting some of our old friends on the force...I can't do that. I've been out of this for so long, and all the craziness has started again and...I have Shoryu to think of. My daughter deserves a better life than running from the Council.

Topman: Wait. What are you saying?

Spark Chan: I'm saying'll always be very dear friends to me.

(Spark powers her armour down and changes back to Forte Chan.)

Forte Chan: I can hide out in this identity well enough. I just...I have to go. Tell me you understand.

Snakeman: I...we do.

Topman: Yeah.

Hardman: I never thought this day would come, but...well...good luck.

(Forte Chan abruptly runs off, unable to bear it any longer.)


Needlegal: You've been very quiet, Shad.

Shadowman: ...

Magnetman: Uh, is it me? You can understand why I hesitated, right? And I did come through in the end, didn't I?

Shadowman: ...

Topman: Say something.

Shadowman: ...Crorq...he...



Needlegal: I know.


Geminiman: Um, Shadow?


Snakeman: Shadowman has lost it.

Hardman: I have never seen him so angry.

Magnetman: What about the rest of you? Are we cool?

Shadowman: ...gonna tear our his circuits and then stuff them into a doughnut and then I'LL FEED HIM THE DOUGHNUT!

Geminiman: Okay. We're cool.

Needlegal: You did save our bacon, after all.

Geminiman: Police work stopped being my thing a long time ago, if I'm being honest.

Topman: At least I'll never have to file another TPS report.

Snakeman: ...I knew this was a possibility when I agreed to try. You got us out of there. So, fine.

Hardman: Okay. You and me're good, Mags. We're not best buddies, but you got us all out from the yellow bastard's giant yellow feet, so we're good.

Magnetman: (Giving the group a winning smile) Groovy.

Topman: "Groovy?"

Magnetman: What?

Topman: You have a western motif. "Groovy?"

Magnetman: I'm not simple, son, I can talk any way I please.

Snakeman: Well, I guess things turned out all right...

Needlegal: Yeah, and we learned something too...

Magnetman: I should hope so after all this mess.

Shadowman: Gonna pummel that guy with his own giant feet, oh yes...

Needlegal: We learned that you have to fight for what you believe in no matter what. Sure, we lost everything and have to join an underground criminal organization just to survive -

Shadowman: GONNA KILL HIM!

Needlegal: But in the end we have to stay true to who we are. We're not Crorq's lackeys. And we don't have to be cops either. We're the Mechanical Maniacs!

Topman: But Chimeraman stayed true to who he was and look at where it got him. Spend fifteen whole years trying to build the Scissor Army back up and now he's done for.

Geminiman: Chimera was an idiot. General Cutman may have upgraded his body, but his mind was as feeble as ever.

Needlegal: Exactly!

Expressman: Is this something you guys do all the time?

Magnetman: Yeah, it's weird, but everyone seems to like it.

Topman: Well, until we clear our names and become pillars of the community again, we are... The Mechanical Maniacs!









Meanwhile, in Antarctica...

Penguin: *wark wark*

Penguin: *wark wark*

Penguin: *wark wark*

Gag: Isn't this place great?

Gaderham: *Sigh* ...One day, Crorq. One day...

The End


Classi Cal as .....
Spark Chan
Raijin as .....
Psycho Magnet as .....
Ben as .....
    Nightmare as .....
Lennon as .....
Sheriff (Kassidy) Mags as .....
Gauntlet as .....


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