Hardman's Bar
By Hadrian Howell (Hardman)
Chapter 24
Hangovers are really as bad as everyone says. Imagine you had Superman’s super hearing, and couldn’t turn it off. You can hear an ant knock pebbles together. Combine this with one of the most intense, pulsing headaches you can imagine. Next, add a dash of vertigo and colorful spot in your vision that seem to move, but only when you aren’t looked at them, which isn’t possible because you’re SURE they’re somewhere on your eyeball. Also add a deep, deep need to visit the restroom to either vomit or drain your bladder.
Get the picture yet?
Fortunately, I was only suffering the headache as my eyes split open and beheld the gloom of the underground arcade. Not wanting to make any sudden movements, I took quick stock of myself. The big, fist-shaped dent in my side was back where it belonged, as was the dull roar of pain that came with it. There was also a stylish new collar around my neck attached to a cord that was attached to a body that was lying on the floor. Seven other such cables connected him to the other Maniacs.
The body on the floor was actually rather unremarkable, when considered as a robot. A large, black and white hypnotic swirl-ma-gig adorned his chest, but his armor was otherwise plain and rather unremarkable. The cables that connected us to him were fed into his body through his back. He looked brain dead, at the moment.
I pulled the unresisting cable and collar off my neck. This was the REAL Mesmerman. A robot that could blend into a crowd easily, and be able to exert control over anyone he came into contact with.
Then, I noticed the last occupant of the room. I didn’t like him very much. “Finally awake?” he asked.
“Shut up, Protoman,” I croaked.
The other Maniacs were already stirring, taking things in, and coming to the same conclusions I was.
“Okay, what the hell was THAT about?” asked a weary-looking Snakeman.
“Some bunker, you asshole,” Magnet grumbled at Protoman.
“I never said it was a bunker,” Protoman shrugged. “I jus said it was a trap. And every good trap needs bait.”
“You suck so very much,” I muttered.
“Seconded,” Gemini growled.
“I don’t appreciate you putting my entire team at risk like that,” Gauntlet said, standing up.
“I don’t appreciate you guys passing yourselves off as legitimate citizens, so we’re even,” the red robot sneered before teleporting to regions unknown.
“What IS his problem?” Needlegal asked.
Gauntlet shrugged. “Not ours, that’s for sure. Everyone here?” We all sounded off in turn, starting with Magnetman and ending with Needlegal. “Good. First off, anyone care to fill me in on what the hell just happened?”
After a merry round of shrugging, I sighed. “I think I know.”
“Oh, do tell,” Shadowman said.
“Well, th’ corpse right there is Mesmerman, an’ he wired us into a dark world using himself as a server. When Gem killed ‘im in that dark realm, he lost control and fried out.”
“Part of me says that makes sense,” Geminiman nodded. “The other parts of me think we’re all crazy.”
“Does anyone else remember Mesmerman saying he wasn’t the mastermind?” Topman asked. “I do. I think that was an important piece of information.”
“Noted,” Gauntlet nodded. “He might have been trying to mislead us, but I find that doubtful. We’ve dealt with the problem at hand, but someone else is still up to something somewhere.”
“Good review of the facts,” Geminiman nodded. “Okay, seriously, can we go home? I need some SLEEP.”
“First things first,” Gauntlet shook his head. “We’re all a little beat up, physically and mentally. This calls for a hopefully free visit to the good Dr. Light. THEN we need to look into this, and fast.”
“Sounds good ta me,” I rumbled. “Let’s get a move on.”
Magnet and I opened the trap door and we all started to clamber out of the hole in the ground. Topman gave me a withering look as he went by me. “Get a move on? Who SAYS that anymore?”
“I do,” I elbowed him as Sparkchan asked Needlegal something.
“Here’s what I don’t understand,” she was saying, “why in the world did Protoman think the lead lining of that arcade would matter?”
Needlegal shrugged. “I don’t know. I know Mesmerman could use either radio waves or those cables to take control of people, but lead doesn’t seem like the metal of choice to deal with that sort of thing.”
“It isn’t,” Gauntlet put in. “Protoman’s whole purpose there was to use us to draw in Mesmerman. If we beat him, all’s well, if we didn’t; Protoman figured he could sweep in and destroy us all to save the world. I’d bet the lead lining was just something he thought of to provide a greater sense of security to his ‘bait.’”
“Or maybe he’s weak to Lead,” Magnetman shrugged. “Hell, we all have weaknesses to some pretty weird stuff. Why should he be any different?”
“Maybe he’s an off shoot of the Alien Wily hologram machine. Bubble Lead screwed that thing up, right?” Snakeman suggested.
We’d later discover that Snakeman’s theory was right. When Duo was creating Generals when he was infected with Evil Energy, he’d crafted most of Mesmerman’s body and alternate-world programming from machines found in the remains of Skull Castle MKII. Mesmerman’s weaknesses actually range from the Metal Blade to the Bubble Lead and the Quick Boomerang, due to his multi-mechanical heritage, but we’re not Wily’s Warriors. But that was much later, when we’d fight Mesmerman again.
Because no villain ever really stays dead. Much as we’d like them to.
Anyway, back to the present, we managed to con Dr. Light into giving us repairs for what Gauntlet called a ‘nominal fee,’ but was really us just bolting the first change we got, and we arrived back at our base as the sun began to rise. Geminiman, Snakeman, Sparkchan, and Needlegal and I all went to our rooms almost immediately to get some sleep. It occurred to me as I drifted off that I hadn’t spoken with Cassandra, Gag, or Roll in the last few days to discuss the status of the Bar, but that seemed less important at the moment.
I drifted into a painless, dreamless sleep for the first time in what felt like months, never really aware of what the next morning would bring.
